Chapter 50

"Granted this does bring up a point," he said as he turned back to the bedroom to carefully carry the coffee over to the nightstands.

"And what's that?" Laura asked. She pulled her pajama top over her torso, without the bindings, and went to join him in the bed, accepting her coffee with a murmur of thanks.

Spencer sighed as he settled. One of the things driving them to living together at least was the ability to do this, to snuggle down in bed with a hot beverage and the company of the other. It was something he used to do with his mother, back when she could still read him stories to comfort them both. As it had turned out Laura's mother had done the same with her. After they had become intimate they quickly found that nestling down together was one of the most satisfying parts of their new relationship, one they had not been able to enjoy of late due to the grief and Laura's need not to be touched. But now she settled in next to his side, where he could put an arm around her shoulders, and perhaps this one small corner of life was good again. "Something Emily told me last night, after the funeral. She said we can't make a life for our children until we make a life for ourselves."

Laura sipped her coffee and digested this for a long moment. "She has a good point." She said. "But I suspect she meant that in a way that goes beyond the immediate sense."

"There's an immediate sense?"

"Well, we are currently living out of suitcases in your friend's guest room." She pointed out. "Not the ideal for starting a family."

"True."

"But this goes beyond that. I mean, you, at least, have work, which is at least partially defining. I don't know who I am anymore. I'm not working, I'm not in school, and I'm in a completely new city. I mean I know I'm your wife, in a way, and want to be your wife and I'm Maggie's mom but that doesn't have any practical bearing and outside of that I'm kind of at sea."

He nodded. "I can see that. In addition I kind of suspect that the lives we, or at least I thought I was living before all this happened was not actually what was going on around me. I…I never realized so many people cared at all." The sheer number of people who had been at the funeral or had sent blankets was still astonishing.

"And I didn't realize how many people saw through Karen's nonsense." Laura replied. "Some of the people at the funeral yesterday were Dad's co-workers. They outright said that they knew that Karen was 'an issue', which I assume is spook-speak for, pardon the expression, batshit crazy." She sipped her coffee again. "Maybe it's time to try a few things."

He dipped his head to catch her eye and smiled. Try a few things. "Like what Martha suggested?"

"Maybe." She turned red in the cheeks but smiled back. "It's just…I know I had a setback when she lied to Dad but…it wasn't until yesterday that I realized just how isolated she really is. They are, I kinda feel bad for Dad now…"

"Don't. He made his own decision, just like my Dad has." It wasn't like he'd changed his number at all. And he'd tried writing to his father a few times, but until he saw that name on the blanket yesterday he hadn't heard from dear old Dad since the Riley Jenkins case. "But now I don't know. It seems like most people just randomly fall into a life, they sort of collect people and objects from high school onward. Most people don't get to build everything from the bottom up like this."

"Not entirely from the bottom up." She pointed out. "We have your team."

"Yes, but it kinda feels like we're starting over from what happened to Emily. Finally. I'm really glad about that." It was his turn to sip at his coffee. "I think we should just build lives that work, you know. Whatever makes us feel good, and...I want to say if people don't like it…"

"…they can lump it because we both know that neither one of us is going to turn away."

That kind of commitment, that unconditional support, was the one thing that had been missing in his life. He was still basking in its glow. "Yeah, but after yesterday I get the feeling that our friends won't turn away either. Your stepmother might have a lot to say if you cut your hair..."

"…but that is one person out of a lot more than I expected." He could tell by how she was looking away that her brain was ticking over. "I think I concur, we should build lives that work for us, and see what happens. To address the practical it's a holiday week-end coming up and we'll probably want to avoid the malls, so I think we should get any shopping done over the next two days. I don't know about you but I want some real clothes."

"And bras." He teased gently. It may sound shallow but he'd always been most comfortable in professional dress, having to spend months on end in undershirts and sweat pants had probably encouraged a certain level of depression. What the team had brought for him was better, but not by much. "And haircuts." He liked his long but this was silly. "And new glasses."

"And I need to see that conservator, get access to my accounts….I need to make a list." Laura sighed but there was a bit of a smile on her face.

"You'll feel better if you do." He set aside his now empty mug. "I'm going to go for a run before breakfast. Make the first stop for my car and we'll take it from there."

Taking it from there lasted just until after breakfast. "So?" Spencer asked as he came down the stairs after his shower.

"Apparently we are not yet sufficiently healed to be out on our own." Laura replied with an amused smile. "So Tonya is taking me shopping and Penelope is taking you shopping and then we're getting takeout and meeting Derek back here for dinner before he heads to the airport to take the red eye to Chicago. He said he's leaving Clooney..."

"Clooney is his dog." Spencer informed her. "This ought to be…interesting." Yeah, not.

"We're actually swapping handlers at lunchtime." She told him. "You said you trusted Penelope's judgment when it came to haircuts, and I trust Tonya when it comes to clothes. After lunch I have a haircut and I want to go to the yarn store and that way you don't have to worry about people complaining about you being too geeky."

"If they do ignore them," Dave said as he came into the room and headed for the coffee pot. "There's nothing wrong with being different. And if anyone gives you a hard time then bite back just as hard. Just remember, most people are just nibbling."

Spencer and Laura looked at each other. Hopefully he was right.