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A/N: I'm actually on time! I hope you like this next chapter. It's a bit longer than the others.

Chapter 5

Secrets complicated everything. Hermione hadn't been able to get over the conversation she heard between Merlin and Calatin. She tried to confront Merlin numerous times, but so far, she hadn't been able to follow through as her resolve died every time she got close to asking. Secrets drove her crazy. It had already been a week, and they were now home. If she didn't find courage soon, she was going to scream. The tension was so thick it could be cut with a knife. And the worst thing about it was that Merlin was an idiot.

He didn't notice her dilemma. The tension barely affected him. He was all smiles and jokes. She realized that he had no idea the trouble she'd been going through because of him. He made her so angry each and every time he gave her one of his impish smiles. Her mind kept screaming "idiot traitor, how dare you keep secrets about me and my parents".

She decided that today was going to be the day. She'd gather her courage and confront him. Secrets annoyed her, especially when they had to do with her and her family, well, now deceased family. She fought back her morbid thoughts and stomped to the house from her place in the forest (a fallen log in the shade of a tree by a small creek). She wouldn't back down this time. He'd regret ever keeping a secret from her after she was through with him.

As she pulled open the door and entered, she noticed the smell of potions, and Merlin brewing and stirring a two cauldrons throwing in different ingredients. It reminded her of how magical he and this home were. His head turned slightly towards her, but his hands moved skillfully never missing a beat. He had once told her that his guardian used to brew medicinal potions and that making and creating different potions calmed him as it reminded him of his long dead guardian. She got the impression that this guardian was more of a father figure. She had wondered sadly what happened to his actual parents.

She took a deep breath. Now was not the time to wander down memory lane. If she wasn't going to confront him now, she doubted that she'd work up the courage to do so later.

"You look deep in thought. Something bothering you?" Merlin moved to drop in another ingredient and gave the potion on the right a few stirs. He moved skillfully to the cutting board and lifted it and its contents up and poured whatever he had chopped into the cauldron on the left. She noticed it bubbling and a nice aroma rose from it.

This was her opening, her chance to get some answers. "I heard something when we visited the druid camp and wanted to ask about it," she began carefully. She hesitated, waiting for his reaction.

He didn't seem to notice anything wrong and kept working, his hands moving with graceful ease. She briefly thought it a sin that a boy could move with such grace, until she reminded herself that usually Merlin was very clumsy.

"Ask away then. Was it something about earth magic? It came instinctively for me, but I grew up differently and always had an intuitive magic." He glanced back and gave her a cheeky grin before taking one cauldron off of a small medieval-looking burner setting it on the table and stirring it a couple more times humming idly to himself.

He was distracted. Perhaps she could catch him off guard and get a straight answer. At the oddest of times, he tended to speak in riddles. It drove her crazy.

"Do you know what's happening in the forest? I think that something is there, and it killed my parents." She tried to hold back the tears and remain clear headed, but her eyes were stinging. She was only seven after all, still a child, and thinking about her parents always upset her. It had only been about a month or so (she hadn't been keeping track of time), since they had been alive. She suspected that the reason she hadn't completely broke down was that she didn't really believe they were gone. She did grieve for a while, and she still wasn't right, but in her heart, Hermione Granger did not want to believe that they were dead.

With her hair now covering her face and her face pointed downward, she couldn't see Merlin, but she suspected that he was now starring at her. She fidgeted nervously. Why had she decided to do this? Now that she was here and finally confronting him she realized that she really didn't want to know anything after all. It wouldn't help any. But a deeper part whispered that if she didn't find out what was going on she would regret it. They were after all her parents. And she was a victim too. Why oh why wasn't he saying anything. She glanced up through her bushy hair and saw that he was looking at her with a mixture of sadness and worry.

"Do you really want to know? If you do, I can explain some of it…but it isn't pleasant and I won't be telling you all of it. It's too much." His voice was quiet, barely louder than the simmering cauldron behind him.

She gulped down anger and resentment for being treated like a child and tried to use some of her keen intellect that her parents had kept raving about. It was probably really bad. He was trying to protect her, not treat her like a child. She was a child; even if she was a bit smarter than the average one (at least she suspected she was, as her parents said her IQ was higher than most children and some adults). She took another deep breath, pushing away her fear and as much of her warring emotions as she could. It didn't completely work, but it was better than sobbing. She nodded, not trusting her voice.

She saw uncertainty cross over Merlin's features and knew that she'd have to do better. "I deserve to know," she said in a small voice her throat clogged with emotion and hoarse from trying to keep the tears away. She moved the hair away from her face and met his eyes, trying to show him her resolve. He searched her face, and she felt a flicker of worry knowing that her face was probably puffy and her eyes rimmed with red as she held back from sobbing uncontrollably. She noted with annoyance that her eyes were leaking, but refused to brush away the tears as she starred into Merlin's gaze.

He sighed and nodded. "Fine, I can see that you aren't going to let this go." He glanced at the cauldron still simmering and added something to it giving it a few stirs. He gently took it off the flame and set it beside the other one letting it settle. He sat down in one of the wooden chairs and motioned for her to take the other one when he saw she was still standing. "This might take a while and it'd be better if you were sitting for this."

She cautiously moved to take a seat. He murmured something under his breath and a handkerchief zoomed into his open hand. He handed it to her. She gratefully wiped the water off her face.

"So…is there anything specific you want to know?" Merlin awkwardly shifted in his chair.

She nodded. This was going to be hard. She could already tell. She bit her lip and clenched the handkerchief in her fists. "Who are they and why…why are they…doing…" she broke off and sniffled, bringing her knees to her chest. She felt so lost.

Merlin looked unsure of what to do. She realized that he must not be used to distressed children, and then wondered about her thoughts. He was a child himself. Why didn't she think of him as a child? He didn't act like a child, not even a child like her. It can't be the influence of the druids as none of the druid children were like him. Actually the druids seemed to respect and revere him. He had a different name among them too. Her mind tried to put pieces together, trying to solve the puzzle of Merlin. She couldn't do it, not now. Her mind and emotions jolted here and there. She couldn't concentrate on Merlin's strangeness now. She needed to focus on one thing at a time.

Merlin stood up and dragged his chair closer to her. He grasped her hands, pulling them gently from their death grip, tugging on the handkerchief and setting it on the table. "Breathe, Hermione. You're only seven. You don't need to know. It might be easier if you didn't. It's only been a month since your parents…well…since they've been gone. Are you absolutely sure you want to know the circumstances behind their…deaths." He barely spoke the last word as if saying it loudly would break her. Her magic physically retreated within her when he said it, so she supposed he realized how painful this conversation was.

"I need to know." She breathed out quickly. "They're not here, and I know I haven't accepted it yet. I still feel like they're going to be knocking on the door or I'm going to wake up in my bed. I have no idea what I'm even going to do with my life anymore. All I know is that I'm here and I have nowhere else to go. I'm scared, but trying to forget that I'm scared and helpless and can't do anything. I want my mum to hold me and tell me that everything's going to be alright and my dad to say that he'll always be by my side protecting me. I need them…but they're gone and can't protect me. I have to figure this out. I'm still a child by anyone's standards, and I need someone to tell me what to do and explain things and help me, but I also need to know who did this and why. Please if you can at least tell me those things…please." Hermione pulled her hands away from Merlin's and covered her hands into her face, starting to sob as her voice took on a hysterical edge. "I can still hear them screaming. I can see my mum's face."

She felt Merlin gently pull her off the chair and onto the ground into a hug. She didn't know how long she was crying, but his magic swept over her in a comforting way and drew her magic out of her, so that it was no longer curled insider of her. She soon found her weeping slowly reducing as she grew emotionally and physically exhausted; soon she was just sniffling and whimpering. She didn't let go of him, even though she knew it was time to get this over with. She heard him give a tiny sigh, and she broke away from the warmth and comfort of his hug. She really wanted her mum or dad, and it was bad to look at Merlin as someone to give comfort in their place. He wasn't much older than she was for goodness' sake.

"I'm sorry for breaking down." Her voice was thick with emotion, and he conjured a glass of water for her, pressing it into her hand.

"Shhh, it's ok. Drink this." She gulped it down quickly and choked, coughing and sputtering. "Slow down. It's not going to disappear." She gave a bashful nod and tried to adjust her drinking pace. He watched for a moment before saying, "I understand. You don't have to worry about your emotions. This is going to be tough, and I'm sorry if I'm not always sure of what to do in this situation. I'll do my best, but I may forget that you're still a child." Her brow furrowed. He'd been referring to her as a child and addressing her as if he was an adult…but that wasn't right. He didn't look too much older than her. She shook her head, trying to dispel her thoughts. This was the second time she'd gotten lost on this track. She had to find out about the first problem and gain knowledge about what was going on, then she could concentrate on Merlin's secrets after she got used to the idea that she would never see her…her parents…again. Her eyes stung. If she kept thinking along those lines, she'd start crying again. She had to stop.

"I'm going to have to grow up anyway. It'll be best to start now." She whispered, ringing her hands as they settled in her lap.

Merlin shook his head, his eyes sad. "You don't have to grow up, at least, not completely."

"And if I want to?" she said, her voice small and quivering. Her whole body shook under the strain of trying to not cry.

Merlin gently reached over to stop her from ringing her hands again. He held her hands firmly in his grasp. "You don't really. Trust me…growing up is not fun. Once you do, all you'll want is to go back to blissful ignorance."

"I already want to go back, but I can't. Does that mean I'm growing up?"

His hands tightened over hers. "It might mean that."

They sat in silence for about a minute. Hermione gazed sadly out the window, while Merlin watched her face and waited patiently for her to come back to the present. The birds were singing and the sun was shining. The atmosphere outside contrasted with the tension and gloom indoors. He saw when her eyes became focused. She stared at his him and a determined look settled on her face, traveling from her eyes all the way down to the set of her chin. "Tell me."

Merlin sighed but knew exactly what she meant. "The people who attacked you and your parents were part of a group of followers that caused chaos in the wizarding world many years ago. They were followers of a dark wizard who promised them things. This dark wizard killed many people and hated those without magic." He watched her carefully, making sure she wasn't too confused and could understand what he was saying. "He disappeared and some of them, those that couldn't join or rejoin society, decided to find places where they could hide and cause mayhem."

"So you're saying that these followers of this dark wizard are the ones who attacked my parents, but why did they do it? You said that this dark wizard is gone…disappeared. It couldn't have been just for 'mayhem' as you put it." Hermione's face twisted in confusion. She tried to wrap her head around what she was hearing.

He grimaced. "They thrive on fear and mayhem and causing others pain. They are inhuman and most likely the ones you ran into weren't completely human. Their reason for attacking was for enjoyment and entertainment. Most of them are not sane."

Her body shook like a leaf in the wind, and her face turned green and then pale. "For entertainment? That's…" She choked on whatever she was going to say and sucked in a shuddering breath.

"It's sick. I know." Merlin's lips twisted into a disgusted frown, but patted her hand and carefully kept an eye on her expression.

Her mind raced and tried to comprehend everything she'd heard so far. "You said something about 'not completely human'. What does that mean?" She was absorbed by the facts and data, ignoring the pain and pretending that it wasn't something that affected her directly.

Merlin gave another sigh and shook his head. "By the…err…information, I suspect that these once followers were werewolves, which doesn't mean they're not human…it just complicates things."

Hermione soaked that bit up and tried to file away what she knew, so far. "I'm going to have to think about all of this. I might have more questions later…about everything…the dark wizard…these followers…werewolves."

"That's fine. I think right now it'd be good to get you some food and see if you can sleep. I have a potion that'll help with the latter." He pulled his hands away from hers and stood up, brushing off dust from his pants. He then offered a hand to Hermione, which she took gratefully and he pulled her up to a standing position. Soon she was tucked into bed after taking a sleeping potion.

The next day Hermione woke with sore eyes and a headache. It took her a moment to remember yesterday's events, but when she did she wished she hadn't. It just made her headache worse. She really wanted to curl up in a ball and sleep without worries, but she'd never forgive herself if she did that. She was the one who asked, and she got her answer. Now it was time to live with the consequences of her knowledge. Anyway, wasn't there a saying about 'knowing thy enemy' or something to that extent? Those who attacked them in the forest were enemies. It was best to not stay ignorant of the facts.

"How are you feeling?" She opened her eyes and saw Merlin sitting on a chair with breakfast on the table.

"Truthfully, I don't feel so well, but it's my own fault." She clenched the blankets tightly and wrapped them further around her small frame. "How did you know I was awake?" She peered curiously from under the covers.

He smiled tiredly. "Your magic flared when you woke." He got up and started moving things from the table. "You should come and eat. I doubt you ate much of anything yesterday."

She nodded and crawled out from underneath her covers, missing the warmth and safety when she did. Merlin pulled out a chair, and she sat gingerly. He plopped a plate piled with an odd assortment of foods. Hermione hadn't realized how hungry she was, until she saw her breakfast. Her stomach growled loudly in appreciation, and she dug in. "Slow down." Merlin said laughingly. "I'm not going to take it away." She made an effort to chew her food slower. She swallowed and glanced at him.

"What are you going to do about them?" Her voice was quiet, but steady.

Merlin looked down at her sharply. "What makes you think I'm going to do anything at all?"

She mulled this over, trying to weigh her words. "I think you will. I overheard you and Calatin. It sounded as if you had something planned, something to keep the forest and those who inhabit it safe. That and you promised me. You promised to help." There was a vulnerable edge to her last words.

"I did, didn't I? I'll still help, and I'll keep my promise, but now is not the time to discuss any of my plans. I know you're angry and hurt, but you'll have to trust me. This is a lot larger than it looks, and highly dangerous." He appeared firm in his decision, so Hermione decided she shouldn't push him. She calmly went back to eating her breakfast. He sighed in relief and picked up a few (now empty) dishes and placed them in the basin. She mused to herself that it hadn't taken her a long time to get used to using everything the old fashioned way. She suppressed a chuckle. Merlin sure looked funny when he struggled with the pump.

"You do know you have magic?" Hermione smirked as he lifted the pump again with an audible groan of frustration.

He shot her a dirty look. "Of course I know…" He coughed awkwardly and mumbled something that she couldn't hear so well. The pump moved up and down on its own. He looked away avoiding her gaze as she burst out laughing. "Oh shut up, I forgot that's all." He crossed his arms over his chest and pouted, making him look more like the child he was.

"Relax Merlin, I was just teasing." He glared at her for a moment longer and then rolled his eyes. He turned and started cleaning up, but this time using his magic. Her thoughts went back to her parents and those who would pay for what they did. Merlin said he'd keep his promise. He'd help her take them down. She'd just have to wait and not be too impatient. In the meantime…maybe she could figure out why Merlin was so different than anyone she had ever known.

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