Le Problème Avec Kevin Chapter 2 - I Dare to be Myself at Last, I Dare...
A/N - Cyrano Yes different, for protected by the night I dare to be myself at last, I dare... Where was I? I don't know! – all this – forgive my emotion – it's so delicious... it's so new this magic potion! Roxane So new? Cyrano So new...why yes...to be so sincere: fear of being mocked, always grips my heart, here... Roxane Mocked, for what? Cyrano Why for...daring! ...Yes, that same heart of mine is always veiled by wit, through shame: I reach out for a star, and I stop, instead, for fear of ridicule, to gather a flower-let! Cyrano de Bergerac act 3 scene 7
Three months ago.
It was fast approaching the end of their junior year of high school, when Edd found himself troubled by a single nagging thought. Well it was more like a multitude of thoughts, if you included all the what ifs and probabilities that this single concern could bring about in his life. Since before puberty, he has been aware that he has found the male gender of the species more appealing than the females. But he had, at first, thought that it was born from a sense of admiration for those he had been drawn to, the athletes or singers he had seen on T.V. for example. That there was some quality about these individuals that made people want to be around them, a magnetism, that at the time he could not put his finger on. But once he had hit puberty around his eleventh year of life, and started going through all those natural bodily changes that wreak havoc upon every teenager's existence, is when he discovered the nature of his attraction to men.
This thought at first had petrified him, as he was already an outcast at school for his well above average intellect, and the prospect of widening the gap between himself and the rest of society was terrifying. That is why he has kept quiet about this part of himself for the past six years, in the hopes of getting through high school under the radar. The original plan that he had formed when he was younger was to fully explore this part of himself in college, then come to a decision on whether to come out or not. For he had heard that people in college were more open minded about these kinds of things, more so than the kids in high school were. He was to discover that this college coming of age story that he had dreamt up was not required. For he had found himself, with the help of masturbatory exploration centering around a certain morning jogging red head in all his shirtless glory and had come to terms with who he is.
Which brings us back to his current predicament, and the debate he was having on whether he should come out now or wait until he graduates next year like he had originally planned. He wanted his parents to know who he truly is, for they deserved to know, and he might just get an alley in the process to help stop his grandmother from trying to fix him up. Then there were his two best friends, who were more like brothers to him, they to deserved to know, and he was certain that they would accept him without pause. The thought that was staying his hand now, was the fact that the more people who knew about him would increase the chances of everyone knowing. But his logical mind was telling him that he couldn't keep this a secret forever, that he would eventually have to tell them and that it was best to do so sooner rather than later. So a decision was made to take that leap of faith, and his friends where going to be that trial run for the big reveal to his parents, a chance to iron out all the details on how he would present the news to them. Also, if he had misjudged his friend's loyalty and the depth of their understanding and this affair went south, he could take a step back and rethink this decision without going through the trauma of parental disapproval.
But with his nervous running amuck as he sits in the back of Eddy's classic baby blue '67 beetle, the well-planned speech he had prepared turned into simply two words as the vehicle comes to a stop in the schools parking lot, "I'm gay."
Eddy shuts off the engine and quickly turns around to face him, "You're what?" Ed had apparently missed his declaration as his attention was fully devoted to his comic book, Mars Needs Cheerleaders, or some other fanciful fiction that he adores.
"I am a gay cisgender male," he repeated with confidence and there was still no response from Ed. But the gentle giant did open his door to step out, grab his bookbag and pull the seat forward for Double D without taking his eyes away from his book.
"Are you sure," Eddy's expression was one of concern as he spoke, "It's not just some."
Double D interrupts him, for though he knew his friend meant well, he didn't want his sexuality to be invalidated with such a statement, "I am quite sure Eddy." He quickly makes his exit out of the car and pushes the seat back into place. Finding Ed waiting for them just a few feet away as he closes the door, the boy had still not removed his eyes from those printed pages.
Eddy steps out of his car and pulls his seat back as he spoke, "We've got your back D, you know that right," he extracts his backpack from the backseat and closes his door again.
"I know you do," he replied as he anxiously glances over at Ed from the side of his eye, desiring some form of confirmation from the gentle giant that he agreed with Eddy, but none was forthcoming.
Eddy comes around the front of the car to walk towards the building, the other two falling naturally into line with him to keep his pace, "Just be careful, alright man, because who knows what these assholes will do to ya if they find out."
"I am well aware of the possible outcomes if they do," the pit in his stomach was growing as he glances one more time at Ed. Though his friend hadn't shown any hostility towards him, it was his now neutral silence that was causing him to worry.
Ed finally unglues his eyes from his comic as he feels Double D looking at him and catches his friends gaze and asks curiously, "Why does Double D look sad Eddy."
Eddy waves his right hand dramatically, motioning towards Double D as he speaks, "I don't know, maybe it's because you've been more worried about your damn comics then what he's been trying to tell ya, ya numbskull."
His countenance turns into one of worried yet apologetic demeanor as he tucks his comic into his back pocket, "I'm sorry Double D, what were ya sayin."
Eddy takes the lead, speaking softly and hopefully in a way that couldn't be directly linked to the topic at hand, "He was tellin us how much he like wieners." He would admit that his choice of words, held in their true context, was rather crude, but his hope was that if someone in the crowd around them had overheard him, it could easily be played off as a food choice.
The carefree giant spoke louder than the other two were comfortable with as he replies, "Oh, I already know that Double D likes franks and beans Eddy," drawing a few eyes of the curious crowd towards them.
Eddy seethed quietly through gritted teeth as he tried to get his point across again, "No you moron, he likes cocks." Double D was mortified as he walked between the two of them, pulling his beanie low to his brow as they made their way to the front entrance of the school. Small groups of students where standing along the sidewalk in front of the entrance, talking with their friends before their day of higher learning would begin.
"Double D, I didn't know you liked them too," Ed looked jovial as he grabs his friend up in a brotherly bear hug, nearly squishing the life out of him, "We couldn't have baby chicks without them."
Eddy yanks Ed by the ear to pull him down to his level, with the side effect of making him release Double D in the process, "He's gay you nitwit." Those words came out louder than he had intended due to his aggravation, drawing the more attention from the nearby students.
"Duh," Ed says sarcastically, "I already knew that," then walks into the school as though the revelation was no big deal. He was quickly followed by an exasperated Double D, who had caught the eyes of several of the nearby jocks after Eddy's outburst. "Silly Double D," he pushes his friends beanie back up to sit properly upon his head with a gentle petting sweep of his hands, "You're the butter to my toast, the gravy in my bowl, and nothin's gonna change that."
"Thank you, Ed," he looks down at the floor admonishing himself for ever doubting his friend.
"See I told you we had your back," Eddy slaps the back of Double D's shoulder and rests his hand there, pulling his friend in for a side hug. Whispering softly into his ear, "Sorry about that man, but I don't think anyone heard me," he said more out of need to reassure himself then Double D.
Two jovial teens pass them on the left, laughing loudly as they walk by. One of them turning to face the trio once he was within their view to exaggeratedly kiss the air, causing a loud puckering sound with the act. As the other boy says loudly over the noisy crowded hall, "Fresh out of the closet and he's already got himself two boyfriends."
"What did you say ass hate," Eddy said through angry gritted teeth as he balled his hand into a fist, itching for a fight. Ed steps between Double D and the pair of jocks, making himself a human barrier between them and his precious friend.
The one who was making the kissing sounds turns to his friend, "Do you believe this little shit," motioning toward Eddy with his thumb, causing both jocks to break out into laughter at the thought.
The original heckler stifles his laughter to continue his taunts, "We were just wondering why the two of you call him Double D, is it because he loves double the dick." Motioning between Ed and Eddy with one hand as he adjusts his red make America great again hat with the other, insinuating that they were the suppliers of said genitalia.
A hand is slapped upon the shoulder of the heckler, causing him to look behind him at its owner, "That's enough Jeremy."
"Oh, come on Nat, we're just having a laugh," the boy protests as he roughly shrugs the hand from his shoulder. But his eyes were nervously darting back and forth between the two who now challengingly stood before him. As though he was expecting either Nat or Kevin to lunge at him with fists flying at any moment.
Double D looks in awe at the man he has barely had any interaction with since he started attending school here three months ago. But even without the bonds of friendship between them, he was now defending him, "Sounds more like you're harassing him to me."
"Damn straight that homophobe's harassin us," Eddy added in a harsh tone, accusingly pointing at Jeremy.
"Fuck off Skipper," Kissy face, or as everyone else knows him as Ethan, spits.
Nat did not acknowledge what Eddy had said but took it into account as he focus his attention upon the two pricks and speaks sternly, "I would suggest you leave them alone." He needed to quickly make it clear to these two that this kind of behavior would not be tolerated in or out of his presence.
Kevin shifts his weight as he crosses his arms, his eyes stern and disapproving, "Because lord only knows what the coach will do to you when he finds out that you've been discriminating a minority." A wicked grin forms upon the face of the captain of next year's football team, "It just might cost you any chance you thought you had at a scholarship." He jabs his finger into Jeremy's chest to emphasis his point, "Not to mention your place upon the team." He shifts his gaze to the boy beside Jeremy, "And I'm just fucking disappointed in you Ethan, what would your uncle think."
Nat takes the reigns as Ethan averts his gaze from Kevin and towards the three dorks again, his eyes filled with malice and contempt. "From now on, you are not to look at them," Ethan's eyes snap back to Nat, "Or speak to them, hell I don't even want you breathing the same air as them." He looks from one to the other, waiting for some kind of acknowledgement to his words but was so irritated with them that he stanches Jeremy's hat off his head and tosses it down the hall. "Now get the fuck out of my sight and don't make me have this conversation again."
Both boys go running in the direction that the hat was thrown, just proving once again that bullies faced with someone their own size will just turn tail and run. It also helps that Nat has quickly garnered the reputation of someone who does not back down and would make their lives a living hell, making the few moments of laughter they had gotten from their teasing not worth the pain. "Dude, we had it under control," Eddy states abrasively, trying not to lose face in front of his friends, though everyone present knew that he contributed very little to the end result.
"You alright Double Daring," Nat says as he pushes passed Eddy to check on the timid boy, Big Ed steps out of the way so that the two could converse but did not leave his friends side.
"Yes, I am quite alright, thank you Nat," he replied, though he was slightly confused as to why he was checking on his wellbeing, since he wasn't physically accosted.
"Hey, don't forget about me," Kevin chimed in, playfully acting hurt at not being recognized for his daring rescue.
"My apologies Kevin, I do appreciate your gallant deeds," Double D's cheeks go flush as he catches Kevin's eyes, quickly looking away to try and hide his blushing face.
"Yeah gallant, sir lance-a-lot," Eddy seethes for not receiving any form of recognition for his contribution and the fact that his once great rival had just saved their butts from a royal ass whooping.
"Well I don't think you will have to worry about those guys for a while," Nat says confidently. "But why don't I give you my number, just in case they're bigger idiots then I originally thought," he motions for Double D to hand him his phone as Kevin looks on with interest.
"Certainly, if you think it will help," he fishes his phone out of his pocket then unlocks it before handing it over.
"Cool," Nat takes the device and quickly types in his info, which also included his email address and home address for good measure, then hits the call button. And as his phone begins to vibrate and ring in his pocket he explains, "This way I've got your number, so I know who's calling."
Before Nat could hand the device back or lock it, Kevin snatches it from him and begins to type, "Yeah he's got a bad enough habit of not picking up, and in case he doesn't," he catches Double D's eyes with a smirk upon his face, "You can call me." To his surprise Kevin winks at him, bringing forth another wave of embarrassing blush upon his cheeks. Causing him to avert his gaze, eliciting a playful chuckle from the jock as he holds out the phone to return it to its owner.
As Nat unlocks his own phone to add Double D's number to his contacts, he notices the time, "Come on man, we've got to get going, we're going to be late." He pats Kevin upon the shoulder and displays his phone as proof of the urgency of his statement. "We'll see you guys around," he says as he begins to walk away at a hurried pace but maintains a casual demeanor as he waves to the trio, "Especially you, Double Dangerous."
"Call me if you need anything dork," Kevin says solely to Double D with that flirtatious smirk dancing across his lips as he follows behind his friend.
"Does that man have no shame," Eddy says once they were out of earshot of the two retreating jocks and turns to head in the opposite direction, "I think he'll flirt with anything that has two legs."
"Not that chickens Eddy," Ed wails as he flails his hands about before grabbing ahold of Eddy's sleeve, "Please tell me he's not after the chickens."
"For fuck sack Lumpy," he pushes Ed away with his free hand, "It's just a figure of speech."
"I think you're being ridiculous Eddy," Double D points out after Ed's outburst as he takes his place beside them, "Why would he be flirting with me, he's straight."
"Of course he's fucking straight, Sockhead, there's a line of girls around the block pining over him or bitching about him to prove his lady killer ways," Double D had to wonder if Eddy was just jealous over the amount of action Kevin was supposedly getting. "But I get this feeling that he gets off on flirting with people who he knows will respond to it. Like it's some kind of power trip, and when the person he's been teasing comes to him like," he changes his voice to mock those in love, "Oh Kevin, you're so hot, so manly, I think I'm in love. He'll be all like," he then impersonates Kevin, "Sorry babe, I wasn't tryin to lead you on, I'm just a douche bag who can't control his dick or ego."
Double D and Ed laugh at their friend's shenanigans, "That's not a very nice thing to say Eddy, especially after he helped us like that."
"Well I can see that mister Casanova's already got your lips wrapped around his little finger," Eddy grabs his junk to emphasis which finger he meant, then steps into their first class of the day. Though Eddy would have to admit later on that the two jocks had really helped them out as both Jeremy and Ethan did everything in their power to steer clear of the trio for the rest of the school year. Though the damage had already been done and the whole school knew about Double D's sexuality, no one dared to make a negative statement about it knowing that he was under the protection of Nat and Kevin.
The rest of the school day went by without anymore incidents, the trio going home at the end of the day in Eddy's baby blue beetle, excitedly conversing about the upcoming direct to video release that Ed was looking forward to, The Chopping Mall. Once back in the Cul-de-Sac, the three teenagers said their farewells and went their separate ways. Edd rushing home to start the chores his parents had left him to do via the little yellow post-it notes that they had placed all throughout the house. Once completed he would sit down at the dinning room table by himself to eat the dinner that his mother had lovingly prepared for him before going to work. After his meal, the rest of his school day evening would be spent on completing his homework so that he could maintain his GPA and hopefully get into an Ivy League School once he has graduated next year. And from there it would be straight to bed to get his recommended eight hours of sleep, for a well-rested mind was a productive mind.
Pulling back the sheets of his well-made bed, he climbs in under the covers and plugs his phone into its charging cord before placing it upon his bedside table. Turning off the light he shimmies further under the covers and rests his head upon his pillows. But that sleep that he had carefully scheduled for himself was not to come just yet, as an unexpected phone call was begging him for attention. Picking up the device from where he had laid it, he answers it without looking at the screen, "If it isn't life threatening, Eddy, I'm hanging up now."
"Do you always answer your phone like that dork," Kevin's husky voice comes through the speaker instead of the familiar voice of his friend, causing Edd's heartbeat to quicken.
"Pardon me Kevin, I thought you were Eddy," he detaches the phone from its charger so he could sit up properly.
"Obviously," he chuckles lightly in amusement.
Edd furrows his brow a little at Kevin's teasing, "For somebody who has admonished others for teasing people, you do manage to use the word dork as often as you possibly can."
"It's a term of endearment dork," he chuckles again as he had to throw that last one in for good measure. "Like P. Diddy or Little John."
Well if that is how Kevin meant it, then he saw no reason not to let it slide, for now, "Was there some reason for calling me after nine?" He knew that everyone in the Cul-De-Sac has known what time he goes to bed, ever since they were in elementary school.
"Ah Shit dude, I'm sorry," Kevin sounded irritated with himself, "I should've remembered that you go to bed early, I just didn't notice what time it was."
"It's alright," Edd said, his grogginess causing his body, voice and demeanor to be relaxed, "Just look to see if my light is out before you call next time." Would there be a next time? Was this a subconscious invitation for Kevin to feel free to call him again?
Kevin spoke rapidly, as though he thought Edd would hang up on him if he didn't get to the point quickly, "Sorry I just really wanted to talk to you, to let you know that I thought you were brave today."
"Brave for what," he cocks a brow even though Kevin couldn't see him.
"For coming out to the school, don't you remember that you did that today?" Kevin replied in a tone that kind of said how could you forget about that, "It's the only thing anybody's been talking about, and almost everybody has your back."
"Well I wasn't trying to come out to the whole school, just my friends," he nervously laughs off the situation as he wasn't comfortable being the center of attention.
"Shit happens man," Kevin joins his soft laughter, "But you know, I don't think I could be that brave if I was in your shoes."
"I'm sure you could if you had to," Edd knew that this man was way braver then he could ever hope to be, just look at today, he made a stand against ignorance, while all Edd could do was to cower behind his friend. "I mean I'm a nobody at this school and you're already saying that these people, who by the way barely had anything to do with me yesterday, want to support me now. So, I'm sure that if Mr. Popular was going through something like this, he would have the entire school behind him waving pride flags in a parade."
"I'm not that popular Edd," he tried to argue while trying to look humble.
"You could have fooled me," Edd laughed.
"No, really, I'm not." His voice became serious, "All those people who you think like me, only come around because when they look at me, they see a good time in one way or another."
"Whose fault is that," Edd teased.
"Mine," Kevin conceded, "But it leaves me wondering who would have my back if things got serious, and just how many of them are only good time friends who would disappear, you know."
"You've got Nat," he tried to point out just how loyal this new friend of Kevin's seemed to be, but Kevin did not answer. And Edd understood as he had also had a small bit of doubt in the back of his mind on whether his friends would turn away once they found out his secret, "Then consider yourself lucky that you will never have to go through this and put your fears to the test."
"Yeah, aren't I lucky," Kevin replied under his breath.
"You are," Edd felt bad that Kevin was feeling this way about people who everyone though was his closest friends and wanted to change the subject to get his mind off of it. He clears his throat and begins a conversation, "So, are you excited about your term as captain next year?" The two of them spent the next hour talking about absolutely nothing of importance but also about everything that mattered to them the most. Over the course of the final month of that school year and throughout their summer vacation, they would spend an hour or more on the phone just talking. Getting to know each other more personally then they had ever attempted before in all their years of being neighbors.
A/N – The comic book and movie that Ed was interested in are both level titles from the super Nintendo video game Zombies Ate my Neighbors. Which would totally be up Ed's alley, as each level has a crazy B grade title and theme, for example "The scary sequel to level 7, Level 22 Revenge of Dr Tongue."