"I have magic Morgana." Merlin repeated slowly, trying not to keep his voice steady, the weight of all his secrets crashing down.

Morgana removed her arm and began to back away, not bothering to push her wet, windblown hair out of her face. Merlin stiffened at the lack of contact and felt cold from the rain. "Don't dare lie to me Merlin!" She began to sob. "I've meant nothing to you. All this time..."

He moved, tried to grab her shoulders but she forced him off and shoved back. "No! Do not touch me! Is this a joke? You can't understand what it's like to be me, why would you joke about this? You thought this would make me feel better? A lie? Don't worry Morgana I'm as fucked up as you?"

I should have told her the night of the fire. The druids were as bad as the sleeping droughts. Merlin tried not to weep. All his lies had been breaking her slowly. Kilgharrah and Gaius had been wrong all along. He wanted to reach out, call into the heavens and summon lighting, show her his true power and its extent, but in his current state he didn't know if he could control himself. He also didn't want to terrify her; sometimes he scared himself. He moved towards her agonized face again, roughly grabbed her arm to face him, and lifted his right hand.

His eyes flashed gold and flames danced between his fingers, steam following as the rain tried vainly to put them out. Morgana struggled in his grip and he released her once she began to growl. Her expression was torn between dread and confusion.

"I have magic Morgana." Merlin repeated for the third time passionately. "When I told you that night that I understood more than anyone, I meant every word. Like you Morgana, I was born with magic; I was born with this gift."

"A gift?" Morgana sniffled. "A gift? Something you are born with and yet you couldn't tell me! You coward!" She slapped his cheek. "You monster!"

"We are not monsters Morgana, magic is not to be feared" He tried to block her onslaught. "We have a gift that needs to be harnessed..."

"You knew all along that I had magic Merlin! You let me be afraid when I thought I was an aberration! I still am not sure! Look what magic has turned you into! You say it's not something to be feared but you were afraid of telling me! I thought I was your friend. Was I ever your friend?" Morgana's tears were replaced with rage. "Is that all I am to all of you, Uther, Arthur, Lucan, you Merlin, just a trophy to experiment with?"

"No, Morgana..."

"How could you do this to me Merlin? How could anyone treat another human being like this?" Morgana was again on the verge of tears, anger and despair combined. "Why, just tell me why you didn't tell me!"

He didn't (couldn't?) want to tell her the whole truth. More lies Merlin you are poisoning her as sure as Gaius. An ounce of truth then. "I...I was afraid Morgana."

"You thought I would betray you to Uther?" She was incensed and disgusted.

"Yes...no, I..." He avoided her gaze.

Morgana moved forward and grabbed his chin roughly, forcing him to look into her green eyes. "Answer me Merlin."

"I was afraid. Of Uther, of Arthur. I never thought you would betray me but you frightened me."

Morgana looked puzzled.

"Morgana, I never revealed my magic to anyone. My mother and Gaius always knew, and Will found out. So did Lancelot."

"Will wasn't the sorcerer." Morgana stated simply.

"No, and he would have died for me." Merlin tried not to sob. "Arthur would have had him burned because of me. Do you realize why I wanted to tell you but was terrified? All of this I do for Arthur, for Camelot, and if I was found out instead of getting the respect I deserve I would be crucified!"

"Merlin I never would betray you!"

"That's not the point Morgana..."

"Then what is? I know your dark secret. Now tell me!"

"Gaius, and another...mentor of mine and my mother have always said that my magic is to be my most guarded secret. Lancelot knowing was almost one too many. I couldn't put you at the risk of Uther by telling you. I was wrong Morgana. I saw you suffering and was too afraid to help you."

Morgana hugged herself, trying to warm her soaking body. The cloak wasn't helping.

"Sending you to the druids was a mistake, and people are dead because of it." Merlin continued. "I want to help you Morgana, I want to help you control your magic. I can't make up for the past, but let me help you now."

"How many sorcerers have you let die in Camelot?" Morgana asked bluntly, ignoring his request. "How often did you see me suffering, and just ignored me! We talked at times and I wanted more than just soothing words, I wanted to know that I was alright but I felt surrounded by enemies who would kill me without a thought, while all the time you were next to me, lying while I suffered! How many times did you help Arthur or Camelot with your magic, help your enemy, while I woke at night screaming? Does Camelot mean more to you than me?"

Merlin's anger overtook his rationality and grabbed her shoulders roughly, forcing her to look into his eyes. He snarled at her expression."Is that all you can think of Morgana? Yourself? I am sorry you have suffered, I regret my part in it but the world isn't about Morgana of House Gorlois! You have everything Morgana! Riches, safety, a duchy and a power you are just starting to understand! Isn't your pain a slight price? Do you ever think of anyone else? I lay awake at night wondering why I wasn't helping you, why others told me to hide my powers from you! I am honestly sorry for causing you pain, for not being there, but don't act like you are the only one who has suffered. Will died because of me, I have killed many people in defense of Camelot and Arthur and I have done it without praise and only Gaius and Lancelot know what I have done! These past months, since the druids told you the truth, you may have lived in fear, but I have lived in fear all my life. First it was fear of Lot and his armies, then it was the fear of Uther, and fear of Arthur who is my friend!"

Morgana's voice softened. "The chandelier in the great hall. You killed Mary Collins didn't you?"

"She was the first." Merlin said weakly. "Whose only crime was that she tried to avenge a son who had been born with magic."

"Yet you saved Arthur?"

"I believe in him, and it tears me up each day. I am not making light of my crimes, or your suffering Morgana, but day by day I feel as if I am aging far too quickly."

"Then let it all out. What have you done?" Morgana asked lowly. "Tell me. Please Merlin, all of it."

He started from the first day when he saved Arthur from Mary Collins.

When Merlin was done speaking they both were soaked, hugging each other for warmth and comfort. The rain continued and showed no signs of abating. The waves could be heard crashing against the beach and the cliffs on which the castle was built. Merlin eventually had broken down, and Morgana stroked his cheek. The lying and the killing had caught up with him. He wasn't a soldier like Leon or Arthur. He couldn't kill people or watch his friends die and just choke it up to being part of the job. Arthur, Leon and all of his blooded knights carried a heavy burden but it was something they had been trained to carry as children. Merlin had grown up in a small village. The burden of command and the burden of taking a life had been foreign to him, as had been the burden of destiny. He had told her nearly everything, eliminating the parts about Kilgharrah and Nimueh. He didn't want her to know the full extent of his power and 'I defeated the High Priestess' could definitely give her the wrong impression. He also did not want to mention the dragon. Kilgharrah hated her, and that was a conversation he didn't want to bring up. The dragon was also as concealed as Vortigern had been and he wasn't ready to reveal his supposed destiny because he still wasn't sure how that all was working out, especially with Uther and that damn prophecy from Kilgharrah's brother. He could almost hear Arthur calling him an idiot. Here he was, getting close to her, making her an ally, and he was keeping some of his most important secrets from her.

"So you are a Warlock." Morgana muttered. "How powerful?"

Alarms began to ring in Merlin's mind. Kilgharrah's words. Damn the dragon to hell. If Morgana couldn't be his ally than Arthur never would. If she couldn't be his friend and accept him for what he was than the prat wouldn't and the destiny the dragon spoke of would be lost. "If I was unfettered, able to use magic without fear of death, I...I can't explain it Morgana. I am powerful. It scares me sometimes. Gaius says I am one of the most powerful magicians he has seen."

Morgana rested her head on his shoulders. He felt her shudder with either anticipation or fear at his admission. "What does that make me?" Her voice was small, almost scared. "I've done things Merlin, the fire, vases breaking, my dreams, I can't control myself..."

Merlin gripped her tightly. She had to know this next part, at least the spirit of it, but it didn't make it any more palatable. "You're a seer, from what I've discovered and discussed with Gaius. Your dreams are prophetic in many cases."

Morgana shivered more. "I had guessed. I'm scared Merlin, I see so many things, horrible things...I don't want them to happen."

"The future isn't written Morgana," he pleaded with her. "Sophia didn't drown Arthur, he didn't die from the Questing Beast. Your dreams were one of the reasons I went to your mother's chambers. I was looking for material to help you. I believe she had the sight as well."

"Will I still have to take my draught?" Morgana began. "I'm afraid of my powers. I can't sleep sometimes, I'm exhausted and frightened."

Merlin stroked her hair. "I'll keep giving you the draught until I can determine how your mother was able to control her own visions. I don't want to stifle you Morgana, but we can't have you living on no sleep."

"How powerful was my mother?"

Merlin sighed. "From Uther's records, very powerful. She was classified near the top of Uther's list, but not orders were executed against her. Magic isn't evil Morgana, I know Vortigern said she cursed him but…"

"The man was a monster. Not even Uther deserves what he did to his family. Magic is not evil. I know that now, thanks to you." Morgana muttered. "Could you do it Merlin? Could you overthrow Uther? Could you place Arthur on the throne?"

Merlin felt cold. It always came back to that. The hell with lying. "Yes. I could rip him from the throne..."

"Then why don't you?" She looked at him, her face innocent and almost pleading.

"Morgana it is not the way! The kingdom would be destroyed and Arthur would stand alone. I could never live with myself."

"More sorcerers are dying Merlin!" Morgana said angrily." We have the luxury of being away from Camelot now but children have been slaughtered, more may be dying now, he needs to pay."

"He will pay Morgana, but not like this." Merlin said, desperate to get her on his side and to see reason. "When Arthur comes to the throne..."

"Arthur knows nothing about us!" Morgana protested. "He may not be his father but even if magic is not persecuted directly I couldn't live in hiding for the rest of my life, unable to use my magic for good! He would exile us both."

Merlin gave her a weak smile. "Arthur is more against his father's policies then you think. He has had Sirs Kay and Leon smuggling druids and other magic users out of Camelot territories since Kay arrived here."

Morgana looked at him dumbstruck. "He never told me. Arthur might have mentioned something like that to me. He does confide in me sometimes."

Merlin continued with a sad smile. "Now he knows how I feel, doing the good deed with no reward."

"Tell me again why you would lay down your life for Arthur, for Camelot when they persecute our kind?"

"Because he is a stronger man than he realizes. Because he went to help me at Ealdor, along with you and Gwen. Arthur loves the common folk and believes people should be rewarded not for blood but for accomplishments. I support Arthur because a Pendragon will unite Albion. Uther may try by the sword but Arthur can win over the people with his character. I know he is a prat, but it's his arrogant way of coping. He wants to be king but feels stifled by Uther. He needs people like Kay and Leon. He needs you and me Morgana."

"I swore to myself I wouldn't let the Pendragon take Arthur away from us." Morgana said sternly. "If he was to be king now..."

"Morgana," Merlin said, and lightly grabbed her chin, looking towards her. Her flesh was soft and freezing. "God, you're cold."

"I'm fine."She dismissed his concerns but her heard the tremor in her voice.

"I know you're a lady, and I'm a servant..."

"You're not a servant Merlin, what I said...It doesn't define you."

"Morgana let me finish. You know more about politics then I do, but don't let your hate for Uther cause you to make a mistake. I may be younger than you, but I understand magic more than you can realize. I want to teach you Morgana, but you must promise me something in return."

"Anything Merlin." Morgan pleaded. "I am tired of being alone; I am tired of not being able to control myself."

"Let destiny take its course. Fight with Uther as you must, but stop any talk of treason or death Morgana. It would destroy Arthur. I care for you, for both of you. Please trust me."

"You would teach me?"

Merlin realized he was stroking her cheek and didn't care. She doesn't seem to mind either. "Yes. I'll teach you."

"She will start out, willing and sweet, but she will crave more, and you may resist, but I doubt it."

Kilgharrah...

"I'm so sorry for the past Morgana. I'm sorry for my lies." He pulled her closer and she settled her face his shoulder for a few moments. She shifted and he felt her warm lips on his neck and immediately felt hot and tense.

"It's in the past Merlin."

Her breath on his flesh sent shudders through him. He stroked her back, the storm and torrential rain forgotten even as it continued to beat down on them. She began to kiss up the column of his neck, below his ear, over to his cheek. When her lips met his Merlin lost all sense of propriety and kissed her back passionately. He gripped her pulling her flush against him desperate for contact.

They pulled back for air and it all seemed so short. He stared back into her green eyes, her face flushed despite the weather. She stood up abruptly and Merlin reached for her hand. She didn't let go and stared back at him as he rose.

"I'm sorry Merlin, I shouldn't have."

"Morgana, we did nothing wrong..."

She quieted him and placed her other hand on his cheek. "I understand who you are now, and what a burden it must be to carry. You are my truest friend and you will never understand how much this means to me."

"Morgana..." Merlin replied, hurt as she began to move away from him. Hundreds of emotions flooded him at the moment and his head began to swim. He was suddenly aware of the still growing storm around them and the crashing waves.

Morgana gave him a sweet smile and pulled her hood back into position. "I need to go back. Agravaine may be worried sick that pervert of an Uncle."

Merlin managed a weak smile but said nothing.

"I mean what I said Merlin." Her smile turned more devious. "The prat has no idea. The Warlock Merlin, and his first apprentice, Morgana. Please hurry up, don't catch cold. We'll talk tomorrow." She said more awkwardly, looking around, before striding off.

"Sleep well Morgana." Merlin muttered to himself as she strode off.

He turned towards the sea, his magic surging, the waves growing and crashing against the beach. Forked lighting poured from the heavens and the wind and salt surged around him as he let go. If he had called such a storm upon Nimueh there wouldn't have even been a corpse to bury in Avalon. The warmth he had felt was gone. Here he was, the Great Warlock Emrys, fulfilling destiny, and he felt like a lost child. He should be happy, he had revealed his magic and was accepted, he had won her over. After all, what was the greatest sorcerer to be if not a teacher? Yet all the warmth he had felt at that moment had faded when she pulled away from him. Damn it they are all right. Arthur, Gwen, Gaius and of course the arrogant chained bastard beast in Camelot's bowels.

This has to stop.

What?

Your...affections for the Lady Morgana, you can't hide anything from me Merlin.

I know you feel something for Morgana, Merlin.

Oh please Gwen.

I'm not Arthur. You can't pull the wool over my eyes.

Because of your sense of honor, or because of other feelings?

Excuse me Gaius?

You heard me Merlin, and don't try to use that tone on me.

Young Warlock I once desired a mate that was wrong for me. I know you think you have feelings for her but it is simple lust.

I reject all of this Kilgharrah! I will make my own destiny!

Merlin sunk to the wet ground and wrapped his arms around his knees, his magic spent and abated. Nimueh would be laughing at him in this moment. All this power, yet cowed by his simple feelings. There was no point in lying to himself or to others anymore. He was in love with Morgana. And she doesn't feel the same way.

Morgana felt hot despite the rain dripping from her body. Why did I do that? She had kissed Merlin. She had intended it to be simple affection and then had gone too far, but kissing him had felt so good. Merlin clearly had been thinking it was more than friendly affection. She had practically devoured his neck anyway. The way he had kissed her back. Arthur hadn't kissed her like that and Dagonet, well the man was too proper. Why was the boy so complicated, and why did she feel conflicted about hurting him? She didn't consider him a servant but that was what he was regardless. She was a duchess, and nothing could happen even if he was a powerful warlock. All because of Uther. Vortigern had said that her mother had a place in court. What had twisted Arthur's father that he now hated all magic? It was never talked about, but had something to do with Igraine.

She tried to sort through her feelings as Tintagel came closer. Could she feel something for the boy? She had been tempted with Arthur, the boy was handsome even when just a teenager, and part of her had been humored at the Prince's shyness and complete awkwardness. Until he had shown his father's aggression, had ran his hands straight up her sides and over her breasts, had tried to undo her dress after a few moments of kissing. Prat. Whether it was instinct or his awkwardness had been a ploy, the Prince definitely knew what he wanted. How she loved to tease Arthur about that now. He had been so embarrassed at his forwardness. If Uther had found out...she smirked to herself.

Kay had been her crush but had never touched her in any way that could be construed by even Agravaine as romantic or lustful. Sir Dagonet had won her over with his complete genius when he solved the drought a year and a half ago, and awed the court with his descriptions of siege weapons, architecture and that damnable maze he was constructing with Bayard in Mercia. But he had been reserved and far too noble. His kiss had been sweet, and when she wanted more he pulled away, explaining, in far too much detail, how he would be the wrong man for her.

Then Lucan. Her blood boiled as she entered the castle, ignored the guards and their concerns and made her way towards her chambers. He was Merlin's age, and every bit as sweet as Arthur's servant...friend. In fact kissing Lucan had been somewhat like kissing Merlin, but he hid his own agenda behind his charm and supposed sweetness. She still had to deal with the traitor knight. Merlin was none of those.

He had kissed her back passionately as if she was all that had mattered, but there was no guile in him, no ulterior motive. She touched her lips reflexively. God what am I doing? She didn't feel anything for him besides friendship did she? Then why did she feel so warm when he held her? She was going to be his apprentice, a man who was younger than her. Did that make him her master? No. Merlin was too sweet to insist on anything archaic as that.

Turning the corner she shuddered at the approaching form and was all to glad her dress was dark and wrapped with a cloak. She had no intention of this man seeing more of her body than was necessary.

"Morgana we have been looking all over for you, and you've been outside, you could catch a cold."

"Shut up Lord Agravaine and fetch my maidservant. Bring wine as well we need to talk about the muster."

Morgana entered the armory with the guard following behind her. Her arms and shoulders still ached from the training session she had with the Squire Galahad. The young man had been too proper at first, not going hard on her, until she began to slyly insult him. It always worked on men when confronted with her. In the end he had proven to be more than her match, but she appreciated the workout. The last time she had used a sword was during the conflict in Ealdor and she had forgotten how sore you could get with just a few hours of training. Of course this, as with many things, was Uther's fault. As soon as she had the semblance of developing breasts Uther had forbidden such activities labeling them as un-lady-like. She had practiced of course, without his knowledge, but that had been at a simpler time when Arthur had been more amicable and Kay had not yet gone off to the eastern border.

Her fitting with the blacksmith had been right after. She had detected his disapproval as her dirt and sweat soaked form entered his forge wearing a tunic and trousers and not a formal dress. Nothing like the man Tom was. Uther and he would get along. She remembered when her and Gwen used to sneak away when Gorlois was at court and play at the forge. Tom had showed them how it worked, but she had more of an eye for finished weapons, Gwen was the true artist were forging was concerned.

Morgana would be damned if she was going to be left behind during this war, kept as a pretty trophy waiting to welcome their victorious men back. Especially since she was sure Morgause, that strange woman, was going to fight alongside Lot. She was a Duchess now and had studied tactics from a young age. She would leave the actual battle plans to Kay, her highest ranking knight, but would be there with her own troops. Her father would have wanted as much she suspected. She also wasn't going to wait for months without Merlin by her side, not knowing if he was safe or hurt, dead or alive. If he was going to do his part for Arthur so would she. They had met discreetly three times since he told her of his gift and it had been intensely frustrating and exhausting.

"Nothing is happening Merlin!" She threw her hands up in the air like a petulant child.

"Oh I can see that Morgana." He said with a cheeky grin on his face. Morgana scowled. She wanted to smack it right off.

She stared back at the locked box, if she had to say Tospringe one more time...

"Remember what I told you Morgana. Think about what you want to do, concentrate on the lock, say the words..."

She concentrated. Thought about what she wanted to do. Before Morgana could get out the words the lid of the box cracked and splintered, separating away from the lock. Morgana put her sweaty forehead in her hands. Her head was splitting and her mouth tasted of blood.

"Well...that is one way to do it."

"I'm hopeless Merlin!" Morgana complained. "I can destroy things, set stuff on fire when I don't want to but I can't open a locked jewelry box! The lock isn't even complicated. Arthur could pick this open while drunk!"

"Hey," Merlin soothed, putting his arm around her shoulder. "It's only been a few days. We can try again. Don't be distracted by what you haven't done."

It was this contact that was distracting her more than anything else, his voice, and his smell. She didn't feel anything for him, did she? This was the question that she kept on asking herself. It wasn't because he was of lower social class, that meant nothing to her, it was because she always went for the tall and handsome type, the Kay or Dagonet, not the small awkward village boy.

"Was it this hard for you at your age?" Morgana said then sighed. "Never mind, I'm older than you and can't do a simple spell."

Merlin chuckled. "My magic was much like yours, reflexive, tied to my emotions. I didn't have much control over it. And when I finally could direct my feelings, well I was a kid so I played around like an idiot. That's how Will found out in the first place." His smile was sad, but held a small essence of happiness in the old memories. "Maybe that's the problem..."

"What?" She asked hopefully, playing with the shards of her jewelry box. Gwen is going to think I had a tantrum.

Merlin stood up. "We are doing this all wrong. I didn't cast a spell, well a proper spell, until I came to Camelot. I had no magic books. That's how we have to start with you. You know you're different from others Morgana, but can you feel it?"

"Feel it?" She asked skeptically.

"Feel your magic, maybe if we start there..."

She spied what she had been looking for and snapped out of her reverie. She could definitely feel...something, as inane as that sounded, but nothing like what Merlin described. Her magic wasn't flowing through her veins. The only thing she could conjure up was frustration. Patience wasn't one of her traits either, and she was positive she had been driving Merlin insane even in only a few days.

The banner was in a corner of the armory, wrapped up and collecting dust. She had been there, the day when Uther brought it back bloodstained. It had since been washed, but in the past decade had laid alone in the armory. Since his passing Tintagel had flown the simple banner they had before Uther had granted Gorlois the White Dragon.

"Send for the tailor." She said to the guards. "I want my father's banner repaired before we march for Camelot."

"Yes my Lady," The guard said as the departed.

"Leave me alone please."

"My Lady." The remaining man bowed and left the room.

After it was repaired she was going to unfurl the White Dragon banner of Cornwall, stain it with her own blood as it had been stained by her father. Let Uther see that when I march my troops back to Camelot. You won't erase the past that easily old man. Morgana started to look for her next item, her father's sword. Normally such an item would have been delivered personally to the child, but since she was a woman...

"I'm sorry my Lady but I didn't find a record of it." Merlin said, interrupting from the entrance. The 'my lady' probably meant the guard had been in earshot. How she hated the propriety they had to force when in the presence of others.

"Merlin," She said with a faint smile. "I don't think that's a surprise. Uther's probably kept it locked away up in Camelot."

"I'll send a message with Galahad when he leaves today to report on your muster strength Morgana. Geoffrey will know where it is."

Morgana now. The guard must have moved away. He must have sensed that some how.

"Thank you Merlin." Morgana said, slightly uncomfortable all of a sudden, alone with him in the armory. It wasn't a bad uncomfortable, but still...

He moved closer, and she had nowhere to maneuver without making it look awkward. "Morgana, I'm sorry about today. I know how important this is to you but..."

Morgana had finally found some more time off from her duties, and Merlin had unfortunately picked this day to collect herbs Gaius would need for the war. "It's fine Merlin." Morgana smiled. "We all have our duties. Besides, Gwen is coming back today."

"No it's not fine." Merlin insisted. "I have ignored you for months when I should have helped you and now I feel I'm making the same excuses."

Which you are. "Merlin..." She didn't want him to go on another tirade of self guilt. A part of her wanted him to, but it wouldn't make either of them feel that much better.

"I mean...I feel responsible for you," He saw her scowl and started. "Not like that Morgana, I meant only that it's my duty to teach you and help you control your gift and I feel I've been lacking."

"I'm your first student Merlin, and we have to hide all of this."

"But we shouldn't." He said adamantly, now very close to her. His hand moved to brush her cheek. "And If Uther found out, there was nothing he or all his knights could do to hurt us."

Morgana recoiled from his touch as if burned. She felt something, almost a shock, and couldn't interpret it, not with him so close. She didn't want to, but what was he thinking, in the armory of all places with guards and a tailor back on the way? One whiff of a rumor and they would be under intense scrutiny. Uther would probably suspect magic right away if he thought she had any feelings for Merlin.

"Morgana, I'm sorry did I hurt you?" Merlin asked, his tone showing that it was he who had actually been hurt.

"Merlin..." Morgana began. This, whatever he thought this was needed to stop. It would be hard enough keeping the magic a secret, if he actually thought something could happen between them Uther would sniff it out in a moment. Him or Caradoc, the knight turned spymaster. I don't feel...anything for him. "I shouldn't have kissed you. We were both upset. We can't hide one secret easily, let alone two..."

Merlin stuttered. "Of course Morgana, I...I didn't mean anything by it."

"Thanks Merlin. I knew you would understand. Let's not have it come between us." She smiled sweetly as the tailor walked into the armory a few moments later. "Good luck picking herbs for Gaius."

"Have a good day my Lady." He muttered.

Morgana walked off for yet another meeting with Agravaine. She needed to talk to Gwen. She had led Merlin on accidentally and was making a mess of things. She couldn't work out her own feelings and wasn't sure if Merlin even felt anything for her. Lucan had been the exact same way. Merlin wasn't like the disgraced knight, but she couldn't fault him if he lusted after her. How she wished she hadn't kissed him! She had enough to worry about with Cornwall and the ever present secret death penalty over her head without having to be confused about her feelings for a once absent friend.

Merlin knew he shouldn't have pushed his luck. She was his friend and felt nothing for him romantically. Some great warlock, floored by the realization that the woman he loved didn't feel the same way. Then of course maybe she had no idea what he truly felt. But was he to say 'I love you' the same way he had said I have magic? That might terrify her just as much. Merlin cleared his head. He needed to focus on the war and helping Morgana with her growing powers. His feelings were a distraction. He was exhausted as well. Kilgharrah's conversation with a male, he had determined were keeping him up at night. He couldn't decipher the language, but felt a chill that the isolated dragon would be talking to anyone else.

Agravaine poured himself a glass of whiskey and it was just midday. That woman was making him drink too much. He hadn't consumed this much daily since Igraine and Tristan's deaths. He still remembered the sounds of his brother's horn as the knight had challenged Uther for a week before the king finally left his throne and killed his brother in a duel. He downed the glass and poured himself another. At least Morgana had finally conceded on some points. The arrogant child was finally learning it took a great deal of skill to run a duchy and it wasn't something you could pick up in a day. It was also some relief that their troops had begun mustering after the rebel incident and the barracks at Tintagel were filling up. In a few short weeks, once all affairs were settled, they could march to Camelot.

Morgana. Luckily we will have an army once we cross past that damnable forest again. I should have never given the Sidhe refuge there. Agravaine knew of their powers, but highly doubted they would approach such a large company of soldiers when there were relatively a few Sidhe left in those woods. Of course the boy's previous meddling didn't help, or it could have been the presence of Morgana.

She hid her magic well, very well. Agravaine was sure she was aware, even on a small level, of what she was. She would have to be dense to not realize, with her mother being a known sorceress, that she had some of her powers. It was also no well kept secret that the King's Ward had suffered from nightmares as a child. Nightmares indeed. Do you enjoy drugging her Gaius? Agravaine shuddered. Gaius. He may be the best kept secret, along with that great dragon. He still remembered the final battle of the purge when Gaius and his Mistress met head to head while the latter had insanely tried to open the gates to allow Balor, King of the Fomorians, to enter into this world. That final battle had destroyed the majority of the powers of both priestess and former apprentice.

This made him wonder what Morgana's true potential was, and if she could be a threat to Arthur. He had never seen Vivienne use her powers but Tristan had. She had helped them take down the rogue dragon that had been plaguing their lands. There was something else as well, which bothered him more than anything, a truth that Gaius may not be aware of. He had always known, but had hoped Gorlois's seed had erased any trace. Tristan had recognized Vivienne the moment he had seen her as a half Sidhe, a fact that he had missed, and got no short amount of grief from Tristan about it. Of course Agravaine had been distracted by Vivienne's physical assets, much like he always was with Morgana. I am only a man after all.

He couldn't detect it in the young Duchess however, but was very curious. Did Vivienne's Sidhe traits pass on to her daughter? Did it pass on to Uther's bastard child who had grown up in a monastery? Second best kept secret. If so it was imperative to keep the girl on Arthur's good side, and also to keep her magic concealed for her own sake. If only Arthur would show more leniency towards the arts. Agravaine knew one way to rule a strong kingdom, and it was how Uther had ruled before, with magic. Of course Uther had used it for less than good, but Agravaine saw his sister in his nephew, he knew Arthur would make a great king if he was free of his prejudices. He had sworn an oath to his sister and would protect Arthur with his life, but he had said no words in Uther's defense. I have been waiting for over twenty years Uther. Your end cannot hasten enough.

"I heard about Lucan," Gwen sipped some tea. "I'm sorry."

Morgana absently waved a hand while going over a stack of papers. "I was feeling alone and chose the wrong person."

Gwen shook her head. "Young men and their ambition." Her mistress had yet to see Lucan or determine who he was spying on. Gwen had slightly disliked the man. True, she was happy her mistress was, but he had always come off as too smooth for one so young. The man stunk of Caradoc.

It felt good to be with Morgana again after her little sabbatical. While it had been nice to visit her old family home, there were too many bad memories to mask the good. With her father dead, and Elyan still estranged she had little to be happy of herself. She felt worried for her brother. She still remembered the argument back in Camelot four years ago that lasted all through the night. Elyan and his drinking, Elyan and his gambling debts. Her brother had gone too far yet again but still her father was ready to forgive him and give him work at the forge.

Her brother repaid their father's trust by stealing and he was gone in the morning. She and Tom had never talked about the incident again, though Gwen knew her father's heart was broken. Then he had come back as the troops began to muster, in the company of some of the noblest common men she had seen. He was changed to. Gone was the rowdy youngster and in his place a young, but far too somber man. She had talked to him little, his lies and stealing still between them, and the death of their father something which she thought none of them would ever get over. She only hoped that Elyan wasn't seeking death in battle. It would solve nothing.

"Would you look over these?" Morgana mused, pushing her a stack of papers. They were deeds to her family land, and several surrounding farms.

"You're placing a Lord in charge of these lands?" Gwen began. "Lucky whoever he is. These lands are rather rich and right in the heart of Cornwall."

"And self contained enough to be governed from abroad." Morgana said with a smile. "My advisor will be administering them."

Gwen smiled. "Who is he then? Have you finally stolen Merlin from Arthur?"

Morgan choked on her wine then composed herself. "Merlin? No, Arthur would...why Merlin Gwen?"

She fought back the urge to roll her eyes. "Merlin is honest, caring and loyal. He would be far more use to Arthur as an advisor than a servant."

"I...Gwen." Her mistress began to stutter and looked her in the eye. "Me and Merlin were walking in the rain..."

"The storm a few days ago?" Gwen was concerned. "Whatever for?"

"We had an argument."

About Lucan I bet. Merlin must have let his jealously get the best of him. Good for him.

"And I kissed him..."

"Morgana..." Gwen fought to contain her smile, how that must have made Merlin feel. Her mood changed suddenly. Oh no. Morgana has no idea.

"We were both upset, me from Lucan, my mother, and him as well. I guess being away from Arthur." Morgana sighed. "I shouldn't have, I think he thinks I meant more by it. I've started making a mess of things."

That and keeping secrets Morgana. It all made sense to Gwen now. Her and Merlin having secret talks, burying druids slaughtered by Uther, and now this mess with Vivienne. The sleeping draught and the nightmares. Merlin must have known, his guardian had been a sorcerer after all. And here Morgana was, jumping from the man who had hurt her and hurting one who had nothing but kindness in his heart.

"He'll get over it." Gwen lied. No he won't. I know Merlin he's been watching her since the beginning. "He values your friendship, mine and Arthur's more than anything."

"You truly believe that?" Morgana asked in a tone suggesting she wanted to believe as well.

"Yes." Now to get her friend off of this somber subject, because she didn't want Morgana to bring up Lancelot again which always happened when they talked about feelings. "Now on to other matters, who is truly going to be your new advisor?"

Morgana gave a wicked smirk. "You are Gwen."

Her heart stopped. "My Lady, I couldn't, I've..."

"You are my oldest friend and know me better than anyone. Besides, you deserve it. You were never meant to be a servant, you or your father."

"But this means..."

"That I am raising you to the position of a Dame Gwen." Morgana smirked again. "No more excuses for Lancelot not to court you."

Gwen felt her face heating up. Lancelot. God Uther is going to hate all of this. If she was going to accept this, and knowing Morgana she had no choice in his appointment, they needed to be completely honest with each other however.

"Morgana, I'm honored. But I can only accept if there are no secrets between us."

Morgana concealed a twitch but Gwen noticed it. "Of course Gwen. There is nothing hidden between us." Her smile was sweet, but vulnerable.

To hell with it all. "Morgana, do you have magic?"

The Duchess's face went pale and the mirrors and glasses in the room began to shake.

"I'll take that as a yes." Gwen muttered.

Morgana remained clutching her chair and wine glass, looking like a frightened girl. "Gwen...please?"

Gwen moved over to comfort and reassure her.

"Where are we going my Lord?" The ten year old squire asked Agravaine as they rode from Tintagel, the sun had long since set and only their torches lit the way.

Agravaine smirked. "I once left treasure out here, long before the Purge. It will be enough to gain you safe passage to Carleon and payment enough for your tasks."

"I don't want to leave Tintagel my Lord." The boy began. "Especially with the new duchess."

Agravaine huffed. "The new duchess that you spied on when I told you to keep an eye on Lucan and avoid her."

"I couldn't help it My Lord, but she has magic! She's so much more than anyone knows!"

"And you are a danger to your duchess!"

"I would never betray her my Lord!"

Agravaine shook his head. He had recruited this young boy the day they had arrived in Tintagel to spy on Lucan. The boy was efficient and good but took it too far. He had spied on Morgana and her maidservant today, and confirmed Agravaine's suspicions. The Lady Morgana had the gift, and her maid servant, and maybe that meddling boy knew as well. Those he could trust, this boy he could not. Morgana was quick becoming central to his plans to raise Arthur up and cast Uther down. Nothing would jeopardize that.

It had taken almost the whole night to ride, and the sun could be seen peaking up on the horizon. The forests were filled with mist. He and the squire moved down to the edge, and Agravaine raised his voice.

"I, Agravaine de Bois, request to use your ancient pathways!"

Nothing happened for a few minutes. The boy than gasped and tried to run but Agravaine held his arm fast. Her pale blue shape was human but very tall. Her cape was made of midst and her armor dark and made of no metal found on the earth. Her hair was a silken black mixed with living fire and her eyes burned as if they were stars.

"And in return, Agravaine de Bois, we request that one's presence for a period of no more than ten years." She pointed the finger at the boy.

The boy began to struggle, to scream but Agravaine clapped his hand over the child's mouth. "He will gladly pay the debt."

The Sidhe gave no more reply, but took the boy's hand, calming all his fears. Agravaine stood still as she and the boy moved into the midst, away from the world and into Tír na Óg.

Agravaine saw the way before him. Hopefully I'll be back before the rest of the castle wakes up. Hopefully I'll be alive. He walked through the midst and found himself miles away to the east, on Avalon. He bowed his head, hoping the approaching priestess would be merciful.