Afternoon came, and Class 3's P.E. unit had gone outside for swimming. Miss Kurosawa was slightly unhappy with one particular student for goofing off last week. It was Kagura, who was also unhappy on this day. She felt Miss Kurosawa's disciplinary beliefs were far too harsh; not just for what's done to her, but what's also been done to the other students who show up late or lack the drive to perform on the same level as the higher students.
This reality made her fume up and flush her face in a bright red tone. She wanted revenge, and she wanted it to be powerful. What she had in mind was pure, unequivocal evil. About half an hour earlier, she'd taken lunch hour to snoop into Kurosawa's office and alter her teacher's new two-piece swimsuit. She'd recently found a little tidbit about unthreading a swimsuit in such a way, it would dissolve in water. It was no less than perfection. After this, surely Miss Kurosawa would get the message to ease up or ship out. It was a long, excruciating effort, but she pulled it off with just seconds to escape the office before her teacher entered.
After reflecting upon her cruel accomplishment, the grimace she donned formed into a wicked grin with teeth as sharp as razors. It caught the attention of the Wildcat, who looked at her with interest. "Oh man! She must be plotting something good!" she murmured to herself. "Tomo! Pay attention when I'm talking!" Miss Kurosawa angrily ordered, as the idiot was clearly off in her own world. "So, we'll finish today with 10 laps in the pool. If anyone doesn't swim in the breaststroke, backstroke, combat sidestroke order I assigned, you will lose credit. Got that?" The whole class soundly confirmed the command. Kagura's Cheshire Cat grin only widened. The combat sidestroke would definitely sweep the threads off her teacher's skin. As the students dove into the pool with Kurosawa included, Kagura's eyes narrowed dead on the twenty-something's body, waiting for sweet revenge.
The evil eyes of the tan-skinned brunette didn't catch anyone's attention, except for the two who'd pretty much become the rescue rangers for today, Chihiro and Koyomi. The glare sent chills down Chihiro's spine, who whispered silently to her taller companion in glasses, "What's she up to? I don't like that look on her face... is somebody going to get hurt...?" The bespectacled girl sweatdropped and replied with semi-certainty, "I don't anyone will be harmed... I hope..."
Minutes passed, and no sign of wreckage appeared on Miss Kurosawa's two-piece swimsuit. Kagura was beginning to think she got it all wrong and messed up somewhere in her plan. She was ready to leave the pool area and head back into the school, but suddenly, the waiting finally paid off. A wispy long thread was seen dangling about in the water, slowly getting more and more lengthy. The athletic schoolgirl stifled a laugh. Tears formed in her eyes. She was close to bursting in sheer hilarity. Chihiro worriedly peered over to see Kagura about to burst into a laugh fit. She looked in her general direction and saw just what she was laughing at. A wave of terror broke over Chihiro's face. She felt her whole body go cold and limp, trying not to scream. Koyomi stormed over to Kagura and pulled her in by her shoulders. "What the hell did you do to Miss Kurosawa, Kagura?!" At this point, Kagura broke down into laughter so hard and loud, she lost her balance and fell on her backside.
"Oh, man! You guys can't take a joke! It's all in the name of harmless revenge, ok?" Kagura assured, but it wasn't enough to make the girl in glasses' eyes shift out of wide mode. Chihiro was just about to scream, but before she could, Miss Kurosawa arose from the water. Immediately, the whole class gasped as they saw their teacher in a way none of them had seen her, and preferred it remained that way. "Okay everyone. Hit the showers, and back to class." the teacher ordered as she wrapped a towel around her shoulders. A minute passed, and over half the class still stood stiff, gobsmacked beyond belief. Confused, Miss Kurosawa looked around her. "What's going on? What are you-?" She peered behind herself and saw a series of threads floating around in the water. "Ugh. That looks like hair in the pool. I'll have the custodian get that later. Now go on, everyone. It's gonna be bad if you're late to Tanizaki's today..."
In the showering room, Kagura was redressing, and in front stood a stern Koyomi and shaky Chihiro, staring at her like their eyes would make her combust. Kagura just laughed again and snapped, "Oh, come on! It's all over now! She didn't even seem to notice it!" As much as Koyomi wanted to give her the tongue-lashing of her life, she heard Kagura's last sentence, and halted dead in her train of thought. She's right, she thought. If it had been her in that situation, she'd without a doubt know if she lacked important swimwear anywhere on her body, especially in her nether regions. Chihiro managed to cease her shaking, and blather with several breaks in her voice, "A-at le-least Chiyo-chan wasn't here to see this..." That fact hit Kagura like a punch to the face. "Oh... jeez. I didn't think about poor Chiyo. I could have traumatized her... I really am evil, aren't I?"
Tomo swung in from behind and wrapped an arm around her fellow bonkura's neck. "Ahahahaha! Don't forget, you're also funny! I needed a good laugh after Yukari slapped me half to death! No harm was done, so don't sweat it!" Osaka looked over her shoulder and agreed, "Yeah. Ah couldn't even make my prank work. Tomo got beat by Yukari even though hers worked, but you? Miss Kurosawa didn't even notice! You completely got away with it! Ah wish ah did as good as you! Even if it was only half as good, ah'd be surprised with mahself!" The knuckleheads neared each other and formed a huddle, likely scheming for another day of torture. Koyomi and Chihiro walked away from the scene, completely shocked at how idiotic and cruel their fellow numbnuts were this day.
"I don't we can afford to let our eyes off 'em even a second anymore..." Chihiro moaned as she pinched her throbbing temple. Koyomi dryly made an affirmatory noise, obviously at a loss for words from the stunts of the idiotic knuckleheads.
Back in her office, Miss Kurosawa was finished dressing back up in her indoor attire, and just didn't get why Kagura was laughing so hard, as well as why class had ended so strangely. But at least one change was for better on this day. She certainly didn't feel confined like she usually did during a swim. "Guess that two-piece worked more wonders than I thought..." With that, she got back to Class 5, not hearing a single word of what people in P.E. saw just minutes ago.
Author's Note: Wow. That was hard, but I pulled it off. And I know, some of you may think, "Oh, this is just perverted stuff now! This isn't even classic comedy anymore!" Well, just hold on a second, as I give you a little history lesson. The dissolving clothes prank (specifically, swimwear) has been around since the 1930's. It happened mainly on males as opposed to females, because it probably seemed more funny to see a man embarrassed than a woman. The earliest evidence of this prank happening to a woman I recall was from a 60's bikini show movie that had a title I no longer remember. I probably could have made this less risque than it is, but trust me, this decision proved to have a stronger payoff. So just go with it, mm'kay? Arrivederci!
~G.R. Daluiseau