Le Problème Avec Kevin Chapter 3 - Wouldn't You Think We were in Some Den of Vice!
A/N - Wouldn't you think we were in some den of vice! Drunkards! Brawlers! Gamblers! Cyrano de Bergerac Act 1 Scene 1.
Eight days ago
Double D sat curled up under a throw rug at the end of the couch in Ed's basement bedroom watching one of his friends famously campy B-grade horror movies, Seven Meals for Seven Zombies. Both Ed and Eddy watched eagerly as a cliché horror movie moment begins, and one of the couples sneak off for some intimate alone time in one of the bedrooms of the abandoned house. But Double D's attention was solely devoted to his phone as he read the text he had just received. The thumbnail portrait beside the name of the sender of said correspondence displayed the dashing smile and charismatic eyes of his new friend. "Hey Double Daredevil, I'm going to be throwing this kickass party tomorrow and I want you three to be there. But I'm going to be upfront with you," a few emoji's follow that statement which represented sex, drugs and alcohol, "Will probably be going on, but that doesn't mean you have to partake. It'll be cool, I promise, so come and chill with us."
The soft sounds of heated foreplay coming from the movie was quickly replaced by loud screaming, "Double D, you're missing it," Ed calls out to his friends to get his attention. Drawing Double D's eyes way from his phone and to the T.V. where he catches the gruesome sight of the couple being disemboweled by a mob of hungry zombies.
He barely flinches at the grizzly sight, "Well they broke the rules of all horror movies," the three of them speak simultaneously, "(Intercourse - Edd) (Fucking - Eddy) (Nookie - Ed) equals death." The three of them laughing at their failed attempt at synchronization as another chime comes from Double D's phone, bringing his attention to the device again.
But this time it wasn't Nat, "You going to the party tomorrow dork?"
Ah, Kevin, always the charmer, "You know the rules Sockhead, no phones," Eddy chided, "To think we raised you to be so rude."
Ed turns in his recliner to face his friend with both his hands clasped together, "Is it from a special someone," exaggeratedly bating his eyes.
"Fat chance of that," Eddy answered for him.
"And why do you believe that you are correct Eddy?" He turns his phone face down so that his friend could not see the screen, "For all you know, I could be in the midst of a once in a lifetime courtship as we speak."
Eddy blows out a quick breath between pursed lips then proceeds to mime the act of giving fellatio as he spoke, "Because you're still a vegan."
Double D scoffs at his friend's crude way of pointing out that he was still a virgin, "Why does my sexual experience, or lack thereof, have anything to do with whether I'm dating someone or not."
His two friends look at each other, silently asking the other if he had really just asked that question, then broke out into laughter, "It has everything to do with it Sockhead, I mean really, you overthink everything."
Ed chimes in with his loud voice, "He's gonna to kiss me goodnight," then continues his laughter.
Eddy took a few deep breathes to calm his laughter at Ed's outburst so he could add, "His lips will be so soft," he fakes swooning, "And his hand so gentle as he touches my cheek." He pounds his fist on the arm of the couch while Double D sat there quietly, looking defeated but having to acknowledge the fact that they knew him to well. Both boys finally calming down as Eddy wipes away a tear, "By the end of it, you'll be looking up all the symptoms for every STI in the book, and all the poor guy did was ask you on a date."
"Double D's flower is special Eddy," Ed reaches over and ruffles the beanie on his head.
"Ed's right Sockhead," he turns to face Eddy, "It's not a bad thing that you're still a virgin, just don't let the what ifs stop you from being happy." There was another chime from Double D's phone and Eddy lets out a heavy sigh, "Ok, who the fuck is it? Nat or Kevin?"
Turning over his phone he sees that Kevin has sent him another text, "Dork?"
He quickly dismisses the notification and unlocks his phone, "It's Nathan," his fingers fly across the keyboard as he types out his response to Kevin, "I'm watching a movie with my friends right now." Putting his phone on silence, he locks it and places it back in his pocket, "It seems that he has invited us to a party tomorrow." It was now time for some sweet revenge, "I told him that I would be happy to go, but unfortunately my friends are not really interested in such things and would not be joining us."
Eddy's jaw slowly drops before he pounces to begin tickling his friend "You call him, you call him right now Sockhead and tell him we're all coming."
Double D was laughing uncontrollably as he shifts wildly to try and protect his sides, "Stop Eddy, please stop, I'm going to soil Ed's couch."
"Silly Eddy," Ed gets up and separates the two of them, for god only knows how is mother would act if Double D pissed on his couch, "He's teasing."
"I knew that," he replies as he took his spot back at the other end of the couch and the gears in his head begin to turn, hatching a plan to find himself a girlfriend tomorrow. It wasn't that Eddy was unattractive, no he had grown into his looks as the baby fat melted away in the early years of puberty. It was his reputation that has hurt his chances with the fairer sex, as it hasn't improved much since he gave up scamming after that little run in with his brother. And though everyone in the cul-de-sac learned to get along better, they never did reach the status one would consider true friendship, as the social hierarchy and peoples reputations had bared the way. It was more like they had finally learned how to be socially polite to the Ed's, accepting their quirkiness which had once got on their nerves and how to walk away when it all becomes too much to handle. Needless to say, Eddy did very little talking or teasing for the rest of the evening as they finished their monster movie marathon, as his thoughts were too preoccupied with tomorrow.
Saying his farewells to his friends at a quarter past eight, Double D begins his short walk home to get ready for bed when his phone chirps at him, "Finally done with your movie night?" He continues walking slowly as to be mindful of his footing, fidgeting with his phone as he wasn't sure if he wanted to start a long conversation with Kevin this late in the evening. He was about to lock his phone and put it back in his pocket, so that he could fully pay attention to where he was going, when another three messages arrive, "Rude. You know I can see you. And I thought we were friends."
Double D looks in the direction of Kevin's house and sees the curtains of his bedroom window fall back into place. He quickly begins to type out a response, "My apologies Kevin, but you know that I'm about to go to bed."
"It's only eight-seventeen, you've got a little time," Double D lets out a sigh as he couldn't argue with that observation. But he was at least grateful that Kevin had started this conversation before he was already in bed, "So are you going to the party?"
Double D cocked a brow at his insistence, "You seem eager for an answer." He looks over his shoulder as he opens the door to his house and sees Kevin's profiled silhouette through his curtains. It was obvious that he was looking at his phone, before he turns to walk away, the shadow disappearing from view.
His phone chirps again as he closes the door, "I just want to know if there's going to be somebody there that I can have a real conversation with."
"Nat will be there," he replied, and Kevin sent him a sad emoji, "And Rolf."
As he climbs the stairs to his room, Kevin sends him a gif of a little girl lying on the floor throwing a temper tantrum then adds, "Don't do this to me man, you've got to come, I'll be bored if you don't."
"You're over exaggerating Kevin, I'm sure you will find some way to entertain yourself," he puts his phone back into his pocket and begins to brush his teeth.
He hears the chirp and feels his phone vibrate in his pocket two more times before he was finished. Plopping down on his bed and pulling out his phone again he unlocks it, finding a picture of Kevin laying in his bed, giving him his best puppy dog eyes and the word please under it. And of course, being in bed Kevin was already in wind down mode for the evening and was in his pajamas, which also meant he wasn't wearing a shirt. Double D lets out a heavy sigh as he feels his lower body react to the image, complaining to himself as he drops his phone upon his chest, "Why do you have to do this to me Kevin?" He takes a moment to let his body calm down before types out, "Alright, you win, I'll be there."
"Sweet, I knew you couldn't resist my charms."
Double D chuckles softly as he replies, "It was more than likely due to your incessant nagging."
"Ouch. Well either way I'm glad you're coming," Double D's heart skips a beat with those words, but quickly shakes it off.
"LOL, cool," he lightly chuckles at himself for his use of slang, "But now I've got to go to sleep."
He puts his phone on its charger and starts undressing for bed, his nerves beginning to become unsettled with each passing second that Kevin hasn't responded. Finally getting a response as he was putting on his pajama bottoms, he sits down on his bed and pulls his phone off its charger to open the message, finding a video embedded within. Hitting play he sees Kevin in his a poorly lit bedroom laying on his belly in his bed, the only source of light was coming from the neon Budweiser sign over his bed, the video was filmed at an angle looking up at him from the floor. "Goodnight dork," his quiet voice could barely be heard, "I'll see you tomorrow." The video shakes as a rough noise could be heard through the speakers, as Kevin was operating the device with one hand and was moving his thumb to hit the stop button.
Double D hits play again, carefully examining every nuance of the short video, the peaceful look on Kevin's face, the relaxed muscles of his shoulders and arms, the curve of his naked back and the rise and fall of his chest. Once the video had ended he types out his reply, "Goodnight Kevin," then puts his phone back on its charger and climbs into bed.
Edd went through his usual routine the following day of straightening up the house, which included the outdoor chores of mowing and weed eating the lawn. Which caused enough noise and vibration that he did not hear his phone go off with the text Kevin had sent to tease him by calling him butch. The red head having spotted him doing the manual labor as he left in Nat's car to go help his friend set up for the party. Naturally he would discover that text as soon as he was done with his chores and once everything was put back into the garage. His response to Kevin was a string of symbols that would create the illusion of someone flipping him off, he has begun to notice how daring he has become ever since he has started talking to the two of jocks.
A short time later he would receive a text from Nat, "Why don't you come over after you're done."
Checking the time on his phone as he types out his response, he sees that it was just a little after eleven, "I unfortunately do not have a way over there right now. Eddy is the only person I know with a car, who is willing to give me a ride, but he is currently still asleep."
Nat's response came quickly, "I can come pick you up."
"That's alright Nat, I'm going to wait to come over with my friends," he felt bad for turning down the offer, as Nat has been nothing but kind and supportive of him. Even going as far as to come out to him as pansexual, giving him advice and directing him to sites for information he hadn't considered before. But he also didn't want to upset his friends or make them feel left out by going to Nat's house before they were ready.
"It's cool, Double Defiant, though I was hoping you would help me keep "Special K" off his phone and on task, but I understand, just text me when you're on your way."
Putting his phone back in his pocket after assuring him that he would text, he goes inside to clean up and lay out the clothes that he would be wearing tonight. It had to be something casual, comfortable and stylish but had to look as though he hadn't put too much thought into it, as he didn't want to draw to much attention to himself. Finally, after thirty minutes of debate he chooses a simple black t-shirt with a gold penciled in dragon design and a pair of dark blue jeans. Casual, check, comfortable, check, not too far out of character, check, stylish, maybe not so much, but who was he really trying to impress tonight anyways. All that was left to do now was wait for his two friends to wake up so that he would have some company to help pass the time until they left for the party later. He spent that hour waiting for them to text by reading a book, the tale of two cities.
"Stop fidgeting Lumpy," Eddy admonished his friend as they stepped up to the front door of Nat's impressive home which was located on the richer side of town.
"I'm sorry Eddy," the tall man giggled nervously, "But do you think Nat's chicks are in the backyard? I so do want to see the chicks Eddy, do you think he built them a big house like this?"
Double D reaches up and pushes the doorbell, then admires the architecture of the home again as Eddy admonishes Ed, the three story, two-winged building seemed to dwarf even their school in size. But that was absurd and must be only a trick of the eye, for who really need this much room for one family. The wooden door swings open to reveal Nat on the other side, greeting them with a warm smile, the noise that had been barely audible a moment ago comes crashing upon them like a tsunami making landfall. "Hey guys, glad you could make it," he steps aside to let the three men in, then closes the door quickly behind them to contain the noise.
Ed bounces up and down on the toes of his feet, "Ask him Double D, please."
"Ask me what," Nat cocks a brow in curiosity and Double D leans in to whisper his friends question so as to spare him embarrassment in case someone over hears. "Sorry big guy, but I don't have any chickens, but maybe I'll get some for the next time you're here." He sees Ed deflate where he stood and adds, "But I do have something that I think you'll like." He gives Ed a big smile as he gently pulls him next to him and motions towards the stairs, "Why don't you go up to the third floor and take a left, at the end of the hall you'll find the bowling alley. I've got you a nice Angry Birds ball and set of pig pins to play with," Ed's face lights up with childlike joy as he dashes up the stairs. "There on lane six," Nat yells after him hoping he had heard him through the noise.
"You know he is going to love you for life now," Eddy says as he walks off.
"I hope so," Nat replied through the noise, "He's a good guy," but Eddy did not acknowledge anything he had said but continues walking, disappearing into the crowd.
"That was very nice of you Nathan," Double D comes up to stand beside his host, "Though I think your going to have to repair a few walls."
He looks at his shorter friend and raises a brow, "Why's that?"
"I am almost certain that Ed doesn't know how to bowl," he replied and sees the sudden realization wash over Nat's face. Images ran through the teens mind of Ed building a makeshift slingshot and the sound of his happy laugher as he lobs the bowling ball down the lane. But he shakes it off as he was sure Marcus and Dean, who were already up there playing, would teach him how to play the game or at the very least would come and get him.
"It's cool, as long as he's having fun," Nat played off his concerns and puts his arm around Double D's shoulder, "Now I've got somebody I want you to meet."
"Um," Double D stammers to find the words to protest the sudden introduction as Nat begins to lead him up the stairs, "Who is it?"
"A friend from my old school in Lemon Brooke," he looks down as they reach the first landing and sees the nervous trepidation in the boy's eyes, "It's cool Double Dashing, you're going to like him. He's into a lot of the same things you are, so I'm pretty sure you two will become good friends," they reach the second floor and start their way up to the next flight of steps.
Double D looks up at the taller teal hair boy and asks, "Are you trying to set me up with him?"
"I would never," Nat holds up three fingers on his free hand as he proclaims, "Scout's honor. I just thought you should have more friends with similar interests is all."
As they reach the third floor, the door at the end of the hall opens and they could hear Ed's maniacal laughter as they stop in front of a door just opposite the stairs. "Nat," the boy who exited the bowling alley calls out, "You've got to do something about Ed, he's wrecking the place."
A crash could be heard from the far end of the hall and Nat winces, "Where did he get a rubber band big enough?" Then it dawns on him that the gym was up here, and that Ed would have easy access to it, "Ok, I'll be right there." He turns back to Double D and frantically motions toward the door in front of them as he speaks quickly, "Ok, he's right in here, so go say hi while I stop Ed from tearing up the place."
Nat runs down the hall in the direction of the bowling alley while Double D takes a few breaths to calm his nerves about meeting someone new. Reaching up he turns the knob on the door and opens it, finding himself in a rather expansive gaming room. Lining the right and left walls were several full-sized arcade games, ranging from old school Pac-Man to Dance Dance Revolution. A pool table sat in the middle of the room, the pool sticks hung on the wall to the right of the door, a dart board to the left. Along the far wall hung three large screen T.V.'s with several bean bag chairs sitting in front of them, two occupants were lounging in the middle two chairs playing the new Street Fighter game and trash talking one another. As Double D closes the door, the game pauses and the two gamers look behind them to spot him slowly walking toward the pool table. The young African American woman looks back to her red headed friend as she quietly says something to him, he doesn't take his eyes off Double D as he continues his advance towards them. His expression told Double D that he was just as nervous as him, and he could feel his palms begin to sweet as he rounded the table.
She kisses him on the cheek before getting up from her chair to leave, the boy then tears his gaze away from Double D to look in her direction as she walks away, his green eyes begging her not to go. Out of a nervous habit he pushes his glasses up to sit properly on his nose, then adjusts the quiz bowl hat upon his head as he glances back towards his friend, watching her walk by the pool table on the same side as D. She gives Double D a warm smile, for which he politely returns, and wishes him good luck as she passes him by. Silently making her way out of the door, leaving the two of them alone so that they could get better acquainted. The red head turns his attention back to the game as Double D continues to make his way towards him and abandons the current versus match, returning the game to the character select screen.
Taking the bean bag chair beside the timid red headed man, he picks up the controller that his friend had just been using and introduces himself. The red head replied in kind, only simply giving his name in a quiet and nervous tone, "Kev."
"It's a pleasure to meet you Kev," he says as they begin to select their characters, both of them quickly selecting Chun-Li at the same time. The two of them looking at each other with a smile on their faces as warm light laughter was exchanged between them, effectively breaking the ice.