A/N: SPOILER ALERT...for those of you who thought the stay-puft man in ghostbusters was full of fluffly, sugary goodness...well, he a puss compared to this chapter...that's right...diabetics, turn away now...hell, just about anyone is in danger of a suger-coma...just couldn't help it...the fluff just kept flowing...read at your own peril...you have been warned!
Now...for something completely different...walkabout soon...8 pages hand written...just trying to make it shine...no, really...I am...stop that...snickering doesn't become you...and you, I know that guffaw anywhere...stop it this instant!...mom, make them stop...mom?..that was your guffaw?...oh, thanks a lot...more emotional scarring...just for that, I'm gonna sell your walker for scrap aluminum...not so funny now is it?...that's what I thought...get back to work...I want all those weights moved before you wax the floors...now, where was I?...oh yeah...walkabout soon...it'll be fantastic...there will be tears...mostly mine...and jeers...mostly yours.
Hey, guess what...I just got the call...I'm going to the bigs...they want me to write season six of Chuck so I guess I will, sorta, own Chuck...wait...what was that?...oh, very funny mom...hang the phone up...well, wasn't that nice...it seems that I still lack any kind of ownership of Chuck...'I'm so mad at my mother'...first one to place that quote...is a big ole nerd...oh, while I'm busy claiming stuff...I done this beta-less...I know...I'm kinda spectacular that way...what was that mother?...oh yeah?...well same to you...I know you are but what am I?...what?...oh, that's just wrong!...I gotta go...gotta mom to punish...what was that?...same to you mom. JT
Sarah Vs. The Strong Swimmer Chapter 15
It had taken almost ten minutes for Chuck, Sarah and Ellie to find a suitable section of beach to spread out their towels. Well, it had taken the time for Ellie to give her approval because her brother and his girlfriend didn't seem to see anything except each other. No sooner had Ellie gotten her towel placed before she announced that she was going to go for a walk. After shrugging out of her sundress, she headed off after giving Chuck and Sarah a quick wave, promising to be back in a little while.
Chuck had just pulled his t-shirt over his head when he turned and caught Sarah staring at him. He had to admit to himself that he felt a little intimidated by the look in her eyes, not sure if she was about to attack him right there on the beach.
"Hey lady" he said while snapping his fingers, "my girlfriend probably wouldn't like you staring like that".
"Oh…I'm sure she wouldn't mind" she replied with a smirk. "Now, how about turning that stuff around " she added while giving a little twirling motion with her fingers.
With a smile, he slowly turned around and almost gave a laugh when she gave a low pitched growl and stepped forward to wrap her arms around him, grabbed his ass and put her lips to his ear.
"Chuck…" she whispered breathlessly, "…you better sit down…right now…" she continued after releasing her grip and stepping back, "…before I lose control."
"Geez lady…" he said as he took a couple of steps backwards and quickly lowering himself to the towel, "it's a public beach. Maybe you should just take a picture."
"That's a great idea, Chuck. Smile!" she said as her Iphone seemed to magically appear in her hand. After taking a few quick pics, she tossed the phone to Chuck and then started to wiggle out of her sundress.
"Sarah, how did you…" Chuck started and then looked up…and froze with his mouth hanging open.
After pulling the dress over her head, she looked to Chuck to see why he suddenly stopped talking and smiled, thrilled to see the effect she had on him. Feeling naughty, she slowly stretched her arms over her head and then 'accidentally' dropped her dress behind her. "Oops, clumsy me" she said with a grin and then slowly turned around, bent over and picked it up. After slowly straightening back up, she gave a final wiggle before slowly stepping onto her towel and sitting down.
"You evil, evil, temptress" Chuck managed to choke out, "are you trying to give me a heart attack?"
"Did you say 'hard' attack?" she asked with an eyebrow waggle.
"Oh, very funny…when did you get such a dirty mind?"
"Chuck…I've always had a dirty mind…it's just that lately, the brain to mouth filter gets used less. Now…what were you saying before you got so…distracted?"
"Huh…what?"
"You were saying?"
"Oh, yeah…um…why do you have these photos of me on your phone?"
"What photos" Sarah asked, trying to look innocent…and failing.
"The ones of me in the shower…and out of the shower…and asleep…and you…"
"What?"
"…doing…what you were doing…I thought that was just a dream…"
"And you're complaining about…what?"
"Um…nothing?"
"Good answer…now, get over here and take care of me."
"Uh…Sarah…it's a public beach and…"
"Chuck…" Sarah started as she slowly settled onto her back after tossing a plastic bottle in his direction, "…I may be constantly horny…but I still have some control. Now…'he puts the lotion on the skin'…please."
"Sarah…'Silence'?…really?"
"Chuck…shhhh…lotion and…a foot massage. If you do a good job, I'll model the bikini that Ellie talked me out of wearing…"
"What?…talked you out of wearing? Why would…"
"Because she said it was too skimpy…now, get to work…now, Chuck!"
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The combination of lotion and Chuck's magic fingers on her feet soon had Sarah nodding out with a big smile on her face. Noticing her closed eyes and steady breathing, Chuck moved back over to his own towel and stretched out. After watching the rise and fall of Sarah's chest, Chuck slowly reached out his hand and gently placed it on her stomach, knowing that he wouldn't feel anything but content to with the contact as he slowly nodded off.
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Chuck slowly awoke to the feel of a hand gently shaking his shoulder. Opening his eyes, he saw a look of concern on his sister's face. Before he could move she whispered as she glanced over at Sarah.
"Chuck, very softly, remove your hand from Sarah's stomach."
"Ellie, what …"
"Shhhhh….do as I tell you…now."
Chuck slowly withdrew his hand and then sat up. Looking down he caught his breath…a perfect 'tan hand' was centered on Sarah's stomach.
"Ellie…how long were you gone?"
"About three hours…but that's not important right now. First, get your shirt on…next, grab Sarah's sundress and hold it like you're gonna help her into it…"
"Ellie, why are we whispering?"
Reaching out and giving him a quick slap to the back of his head, Ellie smiled. "Chuck…you just gave a very hormonal, sometimes violent woman a 'tan hand'…we need to get her back to your apartment…just in case she doesn't react well."
"Ok" a still confused Chuck responded as he gathered Sarah's dress in his hands. Bending over, he placed a quick kiss on her lips. "Hey honey…wake up…time to go home."
As Sarah slowly opened her eyes and sat up, Chuck held her dress out to her and she held her arms up, allowing him to slide the dress over her head. He got to his feet and reached down a hand to help Sarah get to her own feet. As he began gathering up his towel and other items, Chuck glanced over and almost sighed out loud when he saw the sundress settle around Sarah's knees. He wasn't sure why but his sister had successfully freaked him out.
"Give me the keys, Sarah" Ellie said with a smile.
"But I…" Sarah started.
"But nothing…you said I could drive home…remember?" Ellie answered as she tucked her towel into her shoulder bag.
"Oh great…the speed of light one way, the speed of molasses the other way…ow…ow…really, both of you pinching me now? That's just not fair."
"Chuck?"
"Yes?"
"Go start the car…please. That way the AC will be nice and cool by the time we get there." Sarah said with a grin.
"Yeah, Chuck. I need to talk to Sarah…girl stuff…ok?"
"Oh great…start the car, Chuck…take us shopping, Chuck…I'm driving…ow…ow…stop it! I was only kidding! I'll have the car waiting and if you want to stop and have those talons trimmed…ow…ow…I'm going, I'm going."
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Chuck would never say it out loud but he was beginning to think that his girlfriend was having a bad influence on his sister. The return trip had left him shaking and wondering what the hell had happened to his sister. As soon as the car was safely parked, Chuck made a big show off climbing out and pretending to kiss the ground. The women made it very clear that they were ignoring Chuck's actions.
"Sarah…you're so right! I'm really starting to enjoy driving. Thanks for the lessons" Ellie said as she tossed the keys to Chuck. "Come over after you get changed and we'll tackle that lasagna again."
"Lessons?" he whispered to Sarah as he watched his sister walk towards her apartment.
"Sure…She's teaching me to cook so I offered to give her some driving lessons. She's actually getting very good."
"Just great…now I have two maniacs in the family…"
" Chuck…'in the family'? Does this mean you're asking me to marry you?"
"I…uh…um… "
"Oh Chuck…" Sarah said with a huge smile, "…it's so much fun to tease you…and easy too. Now, go check in with Casey while I go get cleaned up so I can get over to Ellie's for that lesson."
Chuck watched as she walked away for a few moments before turning towards Casey's. After knocking on the door and hearing Casey's grunted entrance invitation, he let himself in, finding Casey seated in his easy chair. After doing a double take at Casey's movie choice, he couldn't resist.
"You're kidding, right? 'Bedtime for Bonzo'? Really?"
"Shut it, moron…unless you really want to do five miles today."
"Ah…you know what?…that really is a classic, come to think about it. Sooooo…anything form 'auntie' Diane?"
"Yeah…check the computer…quietly. Interrupt the 'Gipper' again and I'll…"
"Got it." he answered before taking a seat at the desk. Before he could log on, the sound of his name, yelled with scary intensity, caused him to freeze.
"What did you do now?" Casey asked, already on his feet and staring at his front door.
"I…uh…" Chuck started before a very loud banging reverberated through Casey's front door.
"Charles Irving Bartowski!" Sarah's voice echoed as she threw open the door. Standing in the doorway in her bikini, Casey started to laugh when he noticed the 'tan hand" but quickly swallowed the laugh when he caught the look of pure menace in his partner's eyes. Crossing the room, she latched onto Chuck's ear and started leading him towards the still open door. "Not a word…" she growled out as she pulled him along. "Casey…he won't be walking with you today…got it?"
"Sure…so, not happy about the boy toy marking the outside of the 'oven'?"
"Casey…Carina…nose…got it?"
"Sorry Chuck…you're on your own" he said to the retreating forms of his partners. Giving it a gentle shove, he watched his door close while chuckling to himself. "Sorry for the interruption , sir" he said towards the television before sliding back into his chair.
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"Ow…ow…ow…" Chuck whimpered as Sarah pulled him into their apartment.
"Oh, stop whining, you big baby." Sarah said as she released Chuck before slamming their door.
Spinning around and grabbing his ear, Chuck looked at Sarah's back as she stood by the door. The sight of her shoulders shaking suddenly filled him with remorse and he stepped towards her, putting his arms around her and pulling her in tight.
"I'm so sorry, Sarah. It was an accident and…and…you're laughing, aren't you?" he concluded as he released her and stepped away.
"Oh Chuck, don't be mad…it's just so easy sometimes. Why would you think that a 'tan hand' would bother me?"
"Well, Ellie said…she was in on it, wasn't she?"
"Yeah…she was" Sarah answered with a smile as she stepped forward and threw her arms around his neck. "Now kiss me…and make it a toe curler!"
"So, you want the usual, huh?"
"Of course…now, more kissing, less talking."
Chuck attacked her lips and then seemed to lose track of time. Moments...or maybe minutes later, he broke the kiss to take a breath, his senses reeling. He felt Sarah's hand as it slipped into the waistband of his board shorts.
"Sarah…not that I'm complaining but what about your cooking lesson?"
"Postponed until tomorrow."
"Well, I guess I should go change for my workout with Casey…"
"No Chuck…" she growled as she worked at the fasteners on his board shorts which were quickly laying in a pile around his ankles. "…you'll take off that t-shirt, before I rip it off of you…and then you'll be wearing all you need for our 'exercise' session."
After pulling his t-shirt off, in what he was sure was record time, Sarah grabbed him and began dragging him towards their bedroom…and she hadn't grabbed his ear this time.
"Ow…ow…ow…stop it . I'm not some kind of pull toy."
"Oh yes you are, Chuck. You're my favorite pull toy…and I promise, if I've hurt you, I'll kiss it and make it better. And…if you're really good…I'll model that other bikini for you…now, time for some exercise."
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The sound of loud knocking on their front door pulled Chuck from a sound sleep. Glancing at the bedside alarm clock left Chuck amazed. They had been asleep for almost ten hours and Chuck was sure they could've gone for more if someone hadn't started in on their door. Looking around, Chuck reached for the closest piece of clothing he could find and after shrugging into the robe, went out to see who had decided to use the door for a drum. Flinging the door open, he was surprised to see Jeff and Lester standing in front of him.
"Do you buy-morons have any idea what time it is?" Chuck hissed as loud as he could..
"Why yes Charles, we do. As they say, the early word gets the burm and we…"
"What the fuck…are you two idiots drunk?"
"Of course not, Charles. We would never show up for a job imterbrew introxicrated." Lester said as he tried to straighten his tie…which he wasn't wearing.
"Yeah…we're gonna make a good impressination" Jeff added, slowly blinking one eye and then the other. "That way, you'll fire Morgan and then hire us."
Chuck was stunned beyond words and stammered as he tried to come to grips with the scene playing out before him. Before he could say anything he felt Sarah at his back.
"Who is it?" Sarah asked, still sounding sleepy.
"Um…trust me…you don't want to know. Now, just go back to bed…I'll be there shortly."
"Sound advice, Charles…send the rady of the house back to her room whilst we finish the interbrew." Lester said, still trying to straighten his non-existent tie.
"Yeah…this is man stuff, sweetheart…now run al…"
Before Jeff could finish and faster than Lester could follow, Sarah had stepped around Chuck and had the buy-morons by their throats.
"Now listen to me, you fuck-wits. You just woke me up! You got my Chuck fired! And even though that was a blessing in disguise…we would never hire either one of you!" Sarah explained calmly as she lead Lester and Jeff towards the fountain in the middle of the courtyard. "We wouldn't even hire you to clean this fountain" she finished as she released the two. "Now…get the fuck out of here! If you ever show your faces again…I might lose my temper and beat you both…until you're crying for your mommies! Well…you're not moving yet…and you really should be…"
"Going…exactly right…come, Jeffrey. We'll allow them to consider our offer and check back later."
Sarah almost laughed out loud. Shaking her head, she turned back towards the apartment only to find Chuck doubled over with laughter. Losing the battle, she started laughing as well as she walked back and pulled Chuck into a bone crushing hug.
"I'm sorry Chuck…I just couldn't take anymore. I guess I scared Jeff pretty bad…he pissed himself."
"No Sarah…that wasn't because of you…he does that every time he closes Bennies…now Lester on the other hand…yeah, I'm pretty sure you scared the piss out of him. How about I make my 'problem solver' some breakfast?"
"Pancakes? With blueberries…and chocolate chips…and marmalade…"
"..and Wickles?" Chuck asked with a smile.
"Oh yes, you really now what mamma likes, don't you?" she answered with a smile.
"Well, I like to think I'm learning." Chuck replied and then, before he thought about the possible side effects, he added the Bartowski eyebrow dance.
"Oh Chuck…you're exactly right…breakfast can wait…c'mon…I wanna add some new pics to my phone…and you're just the model I want!"
'Dammit' Chuck said to himself. 'I've got to stop doing that…or she's gonna wear me out!'
"No I won't, Chuck…you can't wear that out"
"How did you know what I was…oh yeah, right…you're a spy."
"And don't you forget it. Now, come along…momma needs some exercise before you make breakfast for the four of us."
"Yes ma'am."
A/N: Sorry but I forgot to plead with you all for reviews...please,please,please...oh, and no moms were actually injured in the writing of this story...unless they didn't heed my warnings and read it anyway...in which case...pffffftttt! on you, now go and review. JT