Here ye, here ye~

From hereon, I shall use first person when writing of my antics!

And for those who haven't, please read my other fic, The Product of Experimentation!

Enjoy~

2nd Drink - Pineapples Live Under the Sea?

Author's Room~

I watched the antics of the little yellow sponge on the telly as I giggled.

Oh, hey watch out Spongebob- aaaand he falls into a pit.

I was very much amused, but at the same time, irritated. I gazed at the blankness of my screen, wishing that I had the ability to copy-n-paste the idea directly from my brain.

How in f %$ should I introduce Kyoya? Dafaq. I'm drawing a literal blank.

And, in the hopes that something would come to me, I stared at the screen.

And stared.

And stared.

And stared.

And stared.

And stared some more.

...

...

...

"Time for some wine."

Time skip: 1 hour and 250 bottles later~

It was eerily quiet, and the TV was off. A cricket could be heard from outside my window. Normally, when people hear a cricket, they think, 'Oh, the night is peaceful', or, 'It's very quiet'.

I, on the other hand, was thinking, We have a cricket?!

After a few seconds of this, I got annoyed, since wine enhances virtually all my senses, and I was dead drunk, so I grabbed my imitations of Xanxus' guns and aimed them at the said cricket on the tree just beside my window.

"DIE, POTATO!" I shouted.

And, I'm fairly sure it was my drunken imagination, but I could've sworn I saw a blast of Sky flames come out of the guns. All I know is that the next day, the tree mysteriously disappeared, there was a smoldering heap of ash right outside my window, and a bunch of crickets were having a funeral.

I then drunk the last drops of wine in the bottle before collapsing onto my bed.

"I'll bite you to death if you wake me up," I murmured to no one in particular.

I fell into unconsciousness.

In the Kokuyou Land of Screwed-up Dreamland (this is its actual name)~

Oh~ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

Spongebob Squarepants!

The next day, Mukuro got his head checked for anything that wasn't supposed to be there, developed a fear of sponges, and never watched Nickelodeon again.

"Get out of my way, pineapple herbivore."

Think. A pineapple is a fruit, which basically means it is a by-product of a plant. A herbivore is a plant eater.

Is Kyoya trying to imply that Mukuro eats himself?

Somewhere in Screwed-up Dreamland~

"Marshmallows are also made up of gelatin, which is made up of the collagen from animal by-products, such as bones."

Byakuran stared at the TV, wide-eyed, the hand holding a marshmallow paused in mid-air. He had been watching a documentary about marshmallows, and was excited to learn more about his favorite kind of food.

Until this happened.

"MY LIFE DOESN'T MAKE SENSE ANYMORE!" he screamed dramatically in despair. He proceeded to have an epiphany breakdown before majestically fainting on the couch.

Unfortunately, he forgot to tell his parallel selves, for he informed them about the documentary.

Billions of Byakurans died inside.

"What are you doing, Byakuran-sama?" Kikyou asked. The man in question turned from his position in front of an ominous-looking black curtain and smiled.

"Why, I'm making the ultimate marshmallow~" This Byakuran was probably the only one who didn't see the marshmallow documentary, for he had something he had to take care of at the last minute.

Lucky bastard.

"The...ultimate marshmallow?" Kikyou asked.

"Why, yes~"

"May I see how you're doing so far, Byakuran-sama?" The Cloud Funeral Wreath asked innocently, head tilted a bit to the side.

"Of course!"

Byakuran dramatically pulled away the cloth to reveal an insanely large, white marshmallow, which seemed to come with a dramatic glow and its own angel choir tune. It was about as big as Kikyou himself! As Kikyou gaped, Byakuran broke off a piece of it and handed it to Kikyou.

"Will you please taste my creation?"

"O-Of course Byakuran-sama!" Kikyou said as he quickly recovered. He took the piece and put it in his mouth. After some chewing, he swallowed the fluffy treat.

"Hm? So, how's it taste?" Byakuran asked, a little hopeful.

"Mmmm," Kikyou thoughtfully said, "It tastes like-"

For the next month, Kikyou has spent his time s#%$ting on the toilet, cursing quietly in every single language he knew.

I wonder what would've made him like that? Byakuran pondered.

Maybe I shouldn't have put in 1, 244, 246 bottles of laxative in it after all?

"Get out of my way, pineapple herbivore."

"I DO NOT EAT MYSELF!"

Varia Headquarters, Screwed-up Dreamland~

"Get me some more tequila," Xanxus growled. He was still fairly shaken up due to the little 'incident' with Squalo's laptop.

The servant obediently bowed, and headed out of the room. After a few minutes, a knock was heard at the door.

"Come in," Xanxus snarled. His eyes widened a fraction as he saw who stepped in.

Squalo. F***. Of course it had to be Squalo.

What is that shark-trash doing here? I thought he was on a mission. Wait. He never knocks. Why the f*** did he knock?!

"Boss?" Squalo calmly said as he closed the door.

The f***?! No 'VOIII'?

"I need to ask you something." He locked the door.

F***.

"What is it?" Xanxus tried to keep his voice even as Squalo slowly walked towards his desk. He finally stopped directly in front of the desk, and whaddaya know?

He climbed over it and onto Xanxus' lap.

The Varia boss' mind was just flooding with curses.

Squalo tucked a few strands of his hair behind his ear as he smirked.

"Boss~?" Squalo began, albeit a little cutely, which shouldn't be possible. Xanxus was expecting the world to end at any moment now, and for demons to crawl out of Hell because it suddenly became freezing.

"Remember that video that was on my laptop that you saw about a month ago?" Xanxus was desperately trying to find his X Guns. He then realized that they were in his room. F***ing s***.

"It made me realize that I had these certain...feelings for you." He put his hands on each of Xanxus' shoulders, as the said man shuddered. He leaned in close, then whispered into Xanxus' ear.

"So do you mind if I sleep with you tonight?"

Massive amounts of blood spurting out of his nose due to the unexpected mind f***, Xanxus fainted on his chair, then and there. 'Squalo' then disappeared into mist.

Vongola Headquarters in Screwed-up Dreamland~

"Here you go, Mammon. A million euros," Tsuna said as he handed the check to Mammon. After checking for its authenticity, the Mist Arcobaleno kept it somewhere in his coat.

"Kufufu," Mukuro snickered, "I didn't think you'd actually go as far as to ask both me and the Mist Arcobaleno to do this favor of yours, Tsunayoshi. Kufufu, to think, you had this dark side."

Tsuna merely smiled. "You may leave my office now," he said. Both illusionists disappeared into mist. After making sure that he was alone, Tsuna let out a loud, evil laugh that could be heard throughout the mansion, earning a shudder from all its inhabitants. They all knew that meant Tsuna had just taken his revenge, and the gods know how ugly it gets.

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Tsuna laughed. "This is what happens when you make me have to deal with all this paperwork relating to damages done by your group! Taste my epic revenge, BITCH!"

Mmm. And that's all for now!

I hope you enjoyed~!