Mmm, as you may have noticed, the previous chapter said 'A Sponge Is In My Head?' in the little chapter box thing, while in the fic itself, the title of the chapter was 'Pineapples Live Under the Sea?'. That's because the latter name was apparently too long, so I decided just to change it for the chapter box thing.

Enjoy~

3rd Drink - I Spoof You Not!

Author's Room~

I had decided to re-read my fic, The Product of Experimentation to get some ideas for it. I didn't realize how short I really had made it until I did. Due to its relative shortness, I was able to finish reading it rather early.

But no ideas came to mind.

"Back to the wine cabinet."

Sa Screwed-up Dreamland~

"Do you understand this question?"

No response.

"Do you know how to answer it?"

No response.

"Are you going to answer me?"

"Did you see that eagle eat that snake?"

Tsuna stared at the man who had abruptly eaten his precious cake. He goes for a walk for about ten, maybe fifteen minutes, and when he comes back, there's this guy with a dangerous aura about him with frosting all over his mouth.

Yeah. Right. You thought it was your cake.

Reborn gave a defiant look. "I'm not going anywhere until you do better in school."

In response, Tsuna slumped back on his bed and moaned to the heavens. "Just kill me now and get a ride from a narwhal..."

Reborn, hearing the statement, cocked a brow. "Kill you know? Are you really that uninterested in using a lightsaber?"

"I LIKE PIE." Tsuna lazily lifted a fist towards the sky. "Tis' an opinion that must be justified! Unfortunately, the department which is responsible for considering justice and the welfare of the people tends to become corrupted by the men who lust for such luxuries and are willing to tell blatant lies to get what they want. What were they dubbed again? Penguins?" He put his finger on his chin with an expression of mock thoughtfulness.

"Quite a vocabulary for someone with your reputation," Reborn said with a curious smile.

Tsuna realized what he had just said, mentally swore, and face palmed.

I'm a rainbow sorcerer.

"Right." Reborn shifted his position on the chair beside Tsuna's bed. "Know how to do this question?"

"I know you have a gun. Just cut the damn act and kill me already."

Reborn just chuckled. "Just because I have a gun doesn't mean I'm dangerous."

"The words 'gun' and 'dangerous' fit very well in a sentence together. Put the words 'doesn't', 'mean', and 'I'm' in between and it becomes utter nonsense," Tsuna said rather pointedly as he fiddled with his violin.

Reborn shrugged. "Perhaps."

"Who sent you? A polar bear." Tsuna continued in a rather bored tone. The gods know how much he hates polar bears.

"Why should I tell you?" Reborn countered.

"I'm pretty sure there's a reason." Tsuna shrugged. "I'm also pretty sure you know that I must have a right to know."

Reborn rubbed the back of his neck, deep in thought. "I was sent to train you. By someone who came before you."

"Before me in...?"

Reborn just stared at Tsuna somberly before he got what Reborn meant.

And so, Tsuna jumped out of a window, summoned a giant chimera which s***s rainbows and escaped to a happy land full of rainbows.

*stares*

"I'm not drunk enough to tolerate this."

Vongola Mansion in Screwed-up Dreamland~

Tsuna peered at the mess-of-a-man in front of him, trying not to burst into another fit of evil laughter.

Before him was a shocked, bedraggled, and traumatized Xanxus. His hair was sticking out at all different angles, fear and trauma were evident in his now dull, crimson eyes. Not to mention he was hugging a pillow for comfort whilst rocking back and forth upon the couch he had taken refuge upon. He chanted curse words softly, in the hopes they would make everything go back to normal.

Tsuna inwardly smirked like the evil revenge-seeking bastard he is. My plan worked beautifully~ he thought sadistically. He's been around Reborn and paperwork for far too long to not go mad.

"So, Xanxus," Tsuna said, still trying to stifle his laughter (and doing pretty damn well at it) "Mind telling me why you decided to come here?" Tsuna found Xanxus lying down on his couch, shivering, when he went in his office that morning. So far, all Xanxus had been doing was wallowing in self-pity.

Xanxus didn't respond, and Tsuna just knew he was going to have a good day. Thanks to his amazing revenge, his paperwork had been halved, and Tsuna had more time to enjoy himself.

Now all I have to do is take care of that shark-commander~

"Though I may not know what is bothering you Xanxus, I think I have an idea about how to make you feel better." Tsuna smiled, 'I'm going to f***ing scar you for all eternity' written all over his face.

Xanxus looked up a little seeming a little hopeful.

"I'm going to send you somewhere, and you can do whatever you wish!" Tsuna exclaimed. "Destroy things, kill off a bunch of people, I'm sure it will help you~"

You just know this isn't going to end with Xanxus feeling better.

"There are just two conditions," Tsuna continued. "One, I choose the location. Two, I choose your partner for the mission. You may do whatever you wish to him as well~"

Xanxus seemed a little better, chibi tears threatening to show. But the bad-ass Xanxus within him was helping to hold it back.

"R-Really?"

"Of course!" Tsuna smiled. "We are family." He gave a toothy grin, which, no matter how you looked at it, didn't seem the least bit lenient.

Suddenly, Squalo burst in, sword in hand, as per usual. His clothes, however, were a different story altogether.

He was wearing a thin, white shirt which hugged his body quite nicely, but was also quite loose. He had blue jeans, which also seemed loose. Surprise, surprise, there wasn't a belt. His long hair was tied up into a high ponytail, and he seemed more...ready to rape? I'm running out of words to describe him.

"VOIIIIII! VONGOLA! WHY THE FU-" Squalo's eyes met with Xanxus' and silence reigned.

"Ah, good, you're here. Since you both have a thirst for destruction, and you both seemed to be down, I thought it would be absolutely perfect to pair you up in a mission wherein you could do whatever. You. Wanted. " Tsuna mouthed the last words slowly, and suggestively.

Take note, everyone. This man is an evil genius. Do not piss him off, or make it so that he has a lot of paperwork on hand.

Upon comprehending what the Vongola boss meant, Squalo summoned Alo to get the f*** out of there as soon as possible, and Xanxus ran out the window, probably to go live in some forest.

Tsuna smirked and turned his head towards the corner. Out from the darkness of it emerged Rokudo Mukuro and Hibari Kyoya in all their f***ing glory. And, from thin air, Reborn appeared as well. Tsuna's grin became wider.

"You lost. That means you have to refrain from doing too much damage to my estate or on missions for a month unless you want all of my paperwork dumped on your desks," he said to his two Guardians. The said Guardians grumbled before going out of the office to find something to do that didn't involve trying to skin each other alive. Tsuna turned to Reborn with a smirk.

"And you have to manage all the bills and reports I receive for the next month."

"Fine," Reborn said.

Tsuna was loving this. This meant that all that was left of his paperwork were from ally families. Which meant he cut down his already halved paperwork by 80%.

The Vongola boss laughed evilly. He was enjoying this way too much.

"I'm proud of you, Dame-Tsuna," Reborn said, smirk on his features, happy that his once pathetic student was becoming a strong (and sadistic) boss. Tsuna in turn, smirked back at him.

"You're next, Reborn."

Reborn immediately high-tailed it out of the office, leaving a maniacally laughing Tsuna to plan out his revenge for his former Spartan tutor.

How sweet~