Leavin It On The Ice ch. 33

This chapter is through Hans' POV but don't worry, I'll get back to the Elsanna the next chapter

I never thought that I would feel this way about someone as for the longest time, I had to hide my true feelings in fear of what my family think or even worse, what Father might do if he ever found out that his son had strayed away from the intended path. Father came to this country from small town in Norway with the intention of making something of himself, distancing between himself and the harsh living environment that he had been accustom to. The old man would constantly remind of the joys of living in a first rate world and what he had to do to survive in his old country as I used to think that he sounded like someone's grandfather, complaining about his ungrateful grandchildren. Father worked three jobs just to keep his belly full and a roof over his head while watching old reruns of Young and the Restless to learn how to speak properly before taking up an job at my grandfather on my mother's side technology company.

The phone made the latest stuff ranging from making phones and laptops to high-tech security systems as there has been a few times that I made the tech mogul was that he was very kind. When he had the time, he would take me on fishing trips even though there was times that we came back without any fish and he would take me to the prier to ride on roller coasters, gorging ourselves on junk food and sweets. Suddenly the tech mogul fell ill, naming my Dad as his successor while retiring to some cabin in the mountains with his old hunting dog Yero and he sends me the occasional post care, telling me how he's doing. He doesn't know that I've been disowned and I'm not sure how he'll react to the reason behind if he decides to come back as he's the only family that's willing to talk to me as the rest of the family cut me off, pretending that I don't exist.

Mother looked at me with contempt in her eyes and the last time that I talked to her, she told me to never contact to ever again as I'm dead to her as my brothers didn't care one way or the other so it came as no surprise. I pretend for so long that I was something that I was not in order to please the people that was once my family, to be as ruthless and callous as I could be while unnecessarily hurting people that didn't deserve. I could barely look myself in the mirror on most days or what I had become as I dated different girls before deciding to make the most popular one my girlfriend even though I had no interest in her but it was what my family wanted from me regardless of my feelings. I bullied and insulted people being especially harsh with Kristoff who was the subject of my hidden affections as I knew that even if I wasn't a jerk to him that he wouldn't have any interest in me because he's not gay.

When my family decided to disown me, he and the rest of the his friend defend me to Father while welcoming me into their group… mostly Elsa as the guys are still walking around eggshells around me. Although I think over the last few weeks, they've been warming up to me but Kristoff is still angry with me as I don't blame him for it because I'm been an asshole to them for so long and I don't except him to give over it that easily. Elsa knows about my feeling, promising that she won't say anything to him and so far, the hockey player doesn't seem to know anything so my secret is safe for the time being until two of the football jock walk in, harassing me about getting disowned. I try my best to ignore them because they're being douche bags and in some ways, I deserve it because I've done this plenty of times to others as this probably karma coming to bite me in the butt.

I wasn't expecting the mountain boy to come to my defense but he told them off before turning to ask me if I was okay and I don't know what came over me as I pull him into a kiss that last a couple of second but it was enough to have lips tingling. Kristoff looked at me with a stunned look on his face before running out of the pizzeria as I looked around to see that a few people were staring at me with shocked looks, whispering to their friends or texting what they saw to others. I know that this school is a rather accepting place but I know that he kissing another guy is gonna come as a shock to most of the student body population as my cheeks are red from embarrassment as I let one of the other guys cover my shift. I can't believe that I managed to do something so stupid as throw myself at the guy that I like because he was doing something remotely decent as defend me, knowing that the hockey player has zero interest in dating me.

I walk around the campus with no particular destination in mind as a few people not so discreetly whisper about me as I walk faster to get away from them because my reputation at this school is already shot to hell but this could things worse for only me but Kristoff too. He didn't ask for anything of this and it would be selfish of me to bring him down with me as the words that my brothers about me being nothing but a fuckup and a burden on everyone that I come into contact with. I didn't want to believe them, saying that I would make something of myself but lately all that I've seem to be doing is go from one fuckup to the next as I sit down underneath a big oak tree with my face in my hands.

I don't know how long I've sitting here but it must've been pretty long as the sun was already, noticing a flash of red running back to realize that it was coming back to see that it's Anna. I haven't don't much talking to my ex girlfriend but I know that I have to apologize to her about how I treated her and just being all around jackass to her as she jogs up to me, pulling out her earbuds to a rather loud Katy Perry song playing. Hehe some thing haven't changed.

"Hans, what are you doing out here?" Anna asked curious.

"Ya know, just chillin" I said attempting to make a joke when I shudder at the slightly breeze. "Although I think that I should've brought a jacket with me"

"Maybe but you look for some reason" Anna said taking a seat next to me. "Come on, talk to me"

"Anna I-"

"Hans, I know that we may not be dating anymore but I like to think that we're friends and that I'm here for you no matter what" Anna said putting her hand on my shoulder. "I won't judge you"

I sigh softly, telling her everything that happen and she doesn't interrupt, not once but nods occasionally, letting me know that she's actually listening which I'm grateful for because I need to get this out. By the time that I finish my story, I feel a whole lot better and lighter for the first time in a long time as I never shared any of this with anyone for it getting back to my brothers or Father somehow as they had eyes and ears everywhere. The last thing that I was expecting was to be pull into unexpected hug by my ex girlfriend but it feel nice as I can't honestly remember the last time that I've gotten a hug from anyone. After a few minutes, the cheer captain lets me go with a sympathetic look on her face as she suggest that I talk to Kristoff about what happen and I stare at her like she lost her ever-loving mind.

"Look Hans, you need to clear the air with him and tell him how you feel or this will gnaw away at you. I don't know what he'll say to you or how he feels about you but you owe it to yourself to now where you stand with Kristoff and go from there" Anna said seriously.

"It's not that easy" I said dejectedly.

"Nothing ever is but I didn't know that I was just interest in girls or maybe I was just attracted to Elsa but honestly, it doesn't matter as we're in high school and we shouldn't be in such a rush to put a label on yourself" Anna said smiling knowingly. "We got plenty of time to figure things out as you and Kristoff should time to figure if you could be friends or… something more"

Anna stands up, dusting herself off before telling me that if I ever want to hang out or just talk that I know where to find her as I smile slightly, thankful that I have her in my life. She walks off wordlessly as I continue to sit here a little while longer before pushing myself off of the ground to head back to my dorm, hoping that the cool air will clear my head before finding myself entering the guys' dormitory up to room when I freeze where I stand. Leaning against the opposite wall of my door is the hockey player, awkwardly fiddling with forest green beanie as I wonder why he standing here but a part of me is hopeful that this is a good things of working out our differences. I clear my throat causing him to jump slightly as his cheek redden slightly when he notices me walking up to him, asking if he wanted to come in as the hockey player nods slowly before going inside. Thank the gods that Naveen decided to go that new jazz club. I close the door behind me as I sit down on my desk chair while the mountain boy sits on the edge of my bed, looking adorably awkward as the room is quickly filled with an uncomfortable silence.

"I'm sorry" I said unable to take the silence. "I know that I probably freaked you out and it wasn't my intention, you have to know that but I'm not used to people defending me"

"I get that but it doesn't explain why you kissed me the way that you did" Kristoff said frowning.

"I'm not gonna lie but I like you, Kristoff. I like you for a long time but my family isn't the most accepting family in the world and they had certain expectations of me that I had to fulfill. I had to be at the top of my class, team captain among other things as I had to carry myself a certain way but that's no excuse for how I treated you" I said shaking my head, ashamed.

"Do your family know? About you being gay I mean?" Kristoff asked curious.

"No as far as I'm concerned, I'm dead to them as the only one that I have is my grandfather on my mother 's side but he doesn't know that I've been disowned"

"How does he not know?" Kristoff asked furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.

"He's spent a lot time in the mountain and he rarely leaves so it's hard to get in contact with him but he's the only one that I can say that truly cares about me although I don't know if that'll hold true once he finds about me being gay"

Another awkward silence falls on us and I don't know how to break it as after a few minutes, Kristoff stands up and a part of me is afraid that I ruined any chance of having a friendship with him. The hockey player surprises me by leaving the room after my confession but grips the armrests of the desk chair, bending down to press his chapped lips against mine, catching me off guard for a moment before kissing him back. Now I think that I understand what others was talking about when they say that they saw fireworks but the kiss ends too soon for my liking as the mountain boy looks at me with a daze look on his face, licking his lips.

"I can't say that I can return your feeling or anything like that but I know that I felt something both time that we've kiss" Kristoff said blushing slightly. "But if you're okay with it, I wanna see what we could be"

"I would like that but does that mean that I can kiss you whenever I want?"

"Try it and find out" Kristoff said smirking.

And I do try… again and again.

~Nicole The Dragon Rider signing off

End of ch. 33