"Aphrodite," Zeus interrupted, "we don't need to know that part, skip ahead to the part of the claiming and get on with it already!"
"I was getting there! You need to know the whole story!" Aphrodite whined.
"Just hurry up and finish the story so I can talk." Apollo said, not really paying attention.
-Fast forward a little bit-
"AHHHH! JEREMIAH, WHY ARE YOU TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF? AHHHH!"
"Tyler! Just calm down! Run out of here, close your eyes and count to thirty! Come back after you've counted!" Jeremiah was shouting whilst head-butting a hellhound with his . . . horns?
"WHY DO YOU HAVE HORNS, JEREMIAH? WHY DO YOU HAVE THE LEGS OF A BISON?" Tyler was backed against a wall, trying not to get in the way of the giant dog from the Underworld.
"THE LEGS OF A GOAT! And just go!" Jeremiah said forcefully.
"AHHHH! HELP!" Tyler sprinted out of the locker room waving his arms around frantically.
"Oh, that idiot." Jeremiah muttered under his breath, weaving around the lockers.
Once Tyler's screams faded away, Jeremiah collapsed onto one of the benches and tried to catch his breath.
"Ruff!" The hellhound bounded up to the satyr, knocking over dozens of lockers along the way.
"Oh hey, Mrs. O'Leary. Sorry I had to do that, it's best to introduce you to him at camp." Jeremiah said, not even bothering to look up.
"Ruff!" Mrs. O'Leary said again.
"Yes, yes, yes. I know he's 15 and he hasn't been claimed yet." Jeremiah was still lying on the bench, producing more water from his pits than from the hellhound's slobber.
"Ruff!" Mrs. O'Leary repeated.
"Fine, alright!" Jeremiah growled, "I'll bring him today."
-Outside Anderson High-
"21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26. . . " Tyler counted with his back to the front door, his fingers in his ears, and his eyes shut tight.
"Tyler!" Jeremiah panted, running up to him.
"Wha-" Tyler turned quickly around, "WHAT HAPPENED IN THERE JEREMIAH? THERE WAS THIS DOG THAT WAS HUGE! I KNOW THERE ARE BIG DOGS, BUT SINCE WHEN DO WE BREED THEM THAT BIG?"
"Tyler!" Jeremiah said again, "Calm down. Let me explain everything."
"We're not going back inside are we?" Tyler said hesitantly.
"Tyler Avila and Jeremiah Landers, you come here right now!" The principal, Mrs. Bayler screamed at them from the top of the steps.
"Run." Jeremiah whispered frantically, "RUN!"
Jeremiah pulled a very confused Tyler across the street, past the coffee shop, and into the subway.
They ducked down behind a phone booth to catch their breath and once they had, Tyler let it all out.
"What just happened? Why are we here? Why do you have your pants off? Why didn't they notice you have bison legs? Are you human? Why didn't you put your pants back on? I bet I'm expelled. I'm expelled, right? What was that dog in the locker room? Why didn't anyone come and rescue us? Wh-"
"Didn't I already tell you? Not 'bison' legs, goat legs." Jeremiah replied, clearly annoyed, "Satyrs hate to be mixed up with wild animals."
"WHO ARE YOU?" Tyler finished.
"I just said, Tyler. I'm a satyr." Jeremiah said, checking again to make sure no one was following them.
"What the hell is a satyr?" A bewildered Tyler said.
"I am half-goat, half-human." Jeremiah stated simply.
"No you're not. You are not half-human, you are full human." Tyler said, subconsciously inching away from his best friend, "And why did you put 'half-goat' first? Even if you are half-human, half-goat, which you are not, you would be firstly human, then goat."
Jeremiah bleated. Wait, what?
"Mortals, they think they're always the best." Jeremiah stomped his foot, no, hoof angrily.
Tyler's eyes drifted downward (NO! Not in that sense, no, towards Jeremiah's hoof. Oh yeah, and his legs).
"Ok, you can cut the act now." Tyler said, breaking into a humorous smile.
"What act?" Jeremiah replied, completely poker-faced.
"Oh, come on man. I know you got those pants from the costume department. This was all a prank! You even got Mrs. Bayler to play along! Wow, you're good." Tyler was laughing hysterically.
Jeremiah gave him a worried look.
"Do I need to drug you to get you to camp?"
-Back in the throne room-
"APHRODITE! We don't need to know everything they said." Zeus interrupted again, "Fast forward again!"
"I agree with Zeus, this really is cutting into my talking time." Apollo said, inspecting his fingernails.
"Quiet, brother, let Aphrodite speak." Artemis waved her hand towards Apollo to shut him up.
"Artemis is right, even if Aphrodite doesn't know half the things she's saying." Hermes added.
"Let Aphrodite finish speaking." Hestia said sharply.
"Thank you, Hestia." Aphrodite gave a slight nod of her head, "And actually, Hermes, I do know what I'm saying when I tell you you're a big meanie!"
And with that, the gods ceased to interrupt.
-Back to the story-
Jeremiah did, in fact, have to carry an unconscious Tyler across the border to Camp Half-Blood.
"Why are you so heavy?" Jeremiah was sweating (again) as he half-carried, half-dragged Tyler up the hill.
"Jeremiah!" A curly, blonde haired girl appeared on top of the hill and rushed down to help the satyr.
"Hey, Annabeth. Could you give me a hand?" Jeremiah asked, new beads of sweat were forming on his forehead.
"Well, what do you think I came down here for, to pick some daisies for my flower crown?" The girl said, the sarcasm unmistakable in her voce.
"Don't just stand there! He's really heavy!" The satyr loosened his grip on the demigod's arms and almost dropped him into the bright green grass.
"Or you're just weak." She said smiling and picking up Tyler's feet, "Let's get him to the infirmary."
The two campers carried the new recruit across the border and into Camp Half-Blood. And although there were two of them carrying Tyler, his rear end occasionally landed on top of the daisies.