An extra-long chapter!
(Cause it's going to have to last two weeks)
Sorry! School calls!
Rachel :/
Chapter 23
Spock glanced up as there was a near silent knock on his door.
Taking a deep breath, he steeled himself before walking over and opening it.
Jim stood there, meekly, cautiously looking up at him with wide eyes.
"I... I know it's late. And it's Friday. Friday night. So you... you probably have better things to be doing, but... but would you mind just... maybe... I know these aren't your office hours or whatever, but I was talking to Bones and he said... he said something, and I just... wanted to... I don't know... talk?"
He stepped aside without a word.
Jim gratefully followed him in.
Walking back over to the chess match he had just left, he reset the board before sitting down, gesturing at the chair opposite when the blonde remained awkwardly hovering just inside the door.
"Please. Sit".
Jim quickly complied.
Silence.
"White moves first".
Spock's mouth twitched as he reached forwards to pick up a pawn.
"So it does".
It was two games later, one win for Jim and one win for Spock, that the blonde finally spoke.
"It's funny, you know. How I can apply my power to this".
The Vulcan glanced over at him curiously, "Funny?"
"Well, not funny funny. More like... interesting, I guess" Jim explained, "I mean, when I'm playing chess with you, my enhanced combat can be applied to the chess pieces. But when we're sparring... it's doesn't work anymore".
"Perhaps that is because you look at the game rather than your opponent".
He slowly nodded, "Probably... It just makes me wonder if Chekov can beat you after all".
Spock's hand paused over his rook.
"... We'll see".
The blonde huffed a laugh, and the Vulcan felt his heart warm.
Which technically wasn't possible, of course, as hearing was not directly related to the temperature of the heart, but... well... he liked to give into his human side now and then.
He carefully repositioned his pawn, "You said you wanted to... talk?"
Jim stilled, "... Yes".
"About?"
"You know damn well what it's about".
Spock raised an eyebrow at him and the blonde sighed, capturing his bishop before leaning back in his chair, "... I'm dating Gary Mitchell".
And despite the fact Leonard had already told him so, hearing it come from Jim's mouth dealt a harder blow.
"I mean... I mean I'm not" He continued, frowning, "Or, at least, I didn't think I was... But apparently I am?"
Spock's breath quickened.
He could see where this was going.
"I mean, I'm convinced I'm not... but he says I am? If that makes sense? I don't remember it, but Gary says I agreed, and I just... I don't know".
"Do you know of his... powers?" the Vulcan replied carefully, and Jim nodded absentmindedly, "Yea. Bones told me... It makes sense you know? The whole persuasion thing? I mean, it'd explain why I can't remember. Why I've blacked out for a few hours every day... But he wouldn't use it on me, right? Not without my permission, not if we really are dating".
Spock swallowed thickly, now certain of where this was going.
"Did it ever occur to you that... that perhaps the only reason you're dating is because of his power?"
Jim blinked, hand falling from the chess board.
"... He wouldn't do that".
"Wouldn't he?"
"No! No, of course he wouldn't! Why would he..."
"Jim... all those times you can't remember, what happened just before them?"
The boy frowned, nose scrunching up in the most adorable way and-
No.
Dammit Spock, get it together.
"We were... disagreeing over something? I think?"
"Disagreeing?" He asked, "... or arguing?"
Jim sharply looked up, "... You're telling me he uses this power to get out of arguments?"
"Not to get out of them" Spock replied quickly, "But to win them".
The blonde abruptly stood up, rocking the chess table, and began pacing the room.
Three point four two minutes later, he turned back to the Vulcan.
"... To win them?"
"Yes".
"As in... to make me think he won them? To make me think that... that... that I agreed with him? That he was right?"
"Gary Mitchell is a very... egotistical man" Spock replied, "He needs power to think he's in control. Power, flattery, submissiveness... He needs to be in control in order to function".
"Even if that means practically brainwashing his boyfriend?!"
And fuck, did those words hurt.
Spock merely nodded in response.
Jim stopped pacing and slowly sat down on the double bed next to him, "... So it's true then. He's the reason I can't remember. He's using his power against me".
"... We tried to warn you" Spock offered unhelpfully.
"You didn't tell me about his power".
"You didn't listen".
Jim stared at him for a minute before glancing back down at his hands, "... What did he do to you?"
If he had remained looking at him, he would have seen the absolute terror that had flashed over the Vulcan's face.
"He..." Spock slowly trailed off, not wanting to continue, unable to continue.
"I know he did something" Jim continued, looking up at him again, "Bones... well... he didn't say anything directly, but... you guys have to have a reason for hating him so much".
"... We have a history together".
"A history?" He asked sharply, "As in, a logical history? Or a relationship history?"
"... We dated" He admitted, "When I was 15 years old. It last 1 year, 10 months, two weeks, and four days".
Jim stared at him in shock, "... Holy shit".
"It... did not end well" Spock continued, staring down at the chess board, "The academy was only a year old at that stage, and I was the only alien there at the time. He found me... exotic, for lack of a better word, and he wanted to own me".
The blonde gazed at him, his eyes flickering through a variety of emotions, none of them very kind.
"I was young, stupid, illogical... I had only been on earth for a few months, my mother... my mother had just died, and I was emotionally unstable... And he took advantage of that".
"He... hurt you?"
Jim's voice was barely a whisper, but a vicious steeliness undercut the low tone.
"Not physically" He replied, "... But to a Vulcan, their mind is everything. Toddlers are taught mental shields the minute they can talk. Without our logic... we're nothing".
Spock sighed, showing the most emotion that Jim had seen him show yet.
"I... I became compromised. He wanted to bond, the Vulcan way... It's called marriage on your planet, but to Vulcan's, there is no divorce. If you break a bond... the result is death".
"Did you tell him this?!"
"Of course I did... But he refused to listen. He said I was avoiding it... avoiding him. And so, he used his power against me".
Jim stared at him, unable to conceal his horror, "... He forced you to mind meld with him?"
"... He tried to" Spock admitted, "He... persuaded me to drop my mental shield and then he tried to..."
"To force you to meld" He said quietly, "To bond with you... That's illegal on Vulcan".
"And the punishment is death".
"... What stopped him?"
"Leonard" Spock replied, "He... He was one of my counselling students, and he suspected something... By the time I was almost 17, Mitchell was controlling everything I did. Leonard saw it, saw the harsh whispering, the way I kept forgetting things, the way I'd never argue against Mitchell even if the result was something that could harm me... He snapped me out of it. But the damage was done".
"He tore down your mental shields".
"He destroyed my shields" He corrected, "I couldn't cope. I was... unstable. Dangerous. Leonard had to... sedate me to stop me from lashing out. I... I don't want you to go down the same route I did. It... It broke me".
He wasn't expecting his eyes to water.
He wasn't expecting a hand to reach out a wipe the tears away.
And he wasn't expecting that same hand to carefully take hold of his wrist and lead him over to the bed.
Jim sat down on the soft quilt, gently tugging the Vulcan down next to him, before crawling into his lap and pulling him close.
He could fit after all, being a scrawny 5ft 7 teen, while Spock sat in all his 6-foot-plus height next to him.
Tucking his legs up underneath him, he sat on the man's lap, wrapping his arms around him, hands clutching his shirt tightly, head buried in his neck as he felt tears stain his cheeks.
"I'm sorry".
Spock stared down at the strange emotional little creature in awe, his own arms cautiously coming up to wrap around the boy's waist.
"Don't be".
Jim sniffed, and the Vulcan felt the tears dampen his neck.
"Can I punch him for you?"
"If you like".
"I do. I really do like... God, I've been such an idiot".
Spock carefully rested his chin on the blonde head below him.
"You didn't know".
"But I should have! I should have listened to you and Bones" He replied quietly, "You're my friends... Probably my only friends".
The older mutant felt his cheeks flush, and his buried his head in the boy's hair in response, breathing in the calming scent of Jim.
"It is illogical to look back on the past".
"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it".
Spock paused, "... George Santayana. Spanish Philosopher from the 19th century".
"I'm impressed. He died over 200 years ago".
"I have an... avid interest in old Earth literature".
"As do I".
Jim pulled back and gave a watery smile, "Guess we have more in common than we think. A good taste in books and a bad taste in men".
Spock smirked in return, "Or, perhaps, we are both unable to resist a winning smile".
The blonde gave his signature grin, "A winning smile like this?"
The Vulcan stared at him, that same familiar yet unnameable feeling gnawing at his heart as the bright eyes and the even brighter smile were directed solely on him.
"... Yes" He found himself replying, "A winning smile just like that".
Jim's cheeks flushed enticingly, and he buried his head in the man's neck once more, "Shut up!"
"You're the one who asked".
"Stop it!"
"I'm not doing anything".
"You know exactly what you're doing!" He snapped, wiggling around until he found a more comfortable position on the Vulcan's lap, "Now shut up, again, I'm going to sleep".
Spock raised an eyebrow at him, "Sleep? Here?"
"Unless you want to carry me back to my room, then yea".
"It is... illogical for you to stay".
"We're having a sleepover, Spock, deal with it".
"Sleepover's are illogical".
"You're illogical!"
He smirked, "You've already used that one".
"Oh just... shut up!" Jim growled, tightening his grip around the man's shoulders, "And then shut up again. Goodnight".
And when Bones returned from work a few hours later, he found both his boyfriend and their new friend curled up on the bed, Spock's arm around the boy's waist, and Jim's head buried in the Vulcan's neck, both with tear-stained cheeks and soft smiles on their faces?
Well.
Who was he to disturb them?