Phase Two - Dignity

Episode 11, 12, and 13 - Letting go, is it a form of weakness? I don't know...

Humanity...

Does it means letting go of your grief?

If I let go that which is my grief, will that means I will not care for my parents anymore, even if it's not my fault that my loved ones' died?

Does humanity means determination, the ability to think under pressure, to make decisions that defined us?

Does it mean maintaining my own dignity to do what I was meant to do...the guardian of AKB0048?

Does it mean continuing despite the odds?

Is it the freedom of choice to do what you want?

Earlier during our adventure, Nagisa, Alito, and I returned back to Lancastar in secrecy to confront Mr Motomiya since we know there was no way Nagisa could hide the fact that she was in AKB0048 forever.

Although we got into a heated argument, I managed to knock some sense into Mr Motomiya...

You always want your daughter to be the happy despite your work schedule, and you want her to follow in your footsteps…Problem is, is that what she always wanted to be? Or is it that you want her to be like you, instead of letting her do what she truly loved, what she have passion about?

There is a difference between you and me, Mr. Motomiya…I do not push my own beliefs onto other people. You, on the other hand, struggle to maintain your working appearance and thus dare not make decision that are truly beneficial to your daughter…

Are you gonna be a bad father; denying what your daughter really wants, over what you want your daughter to be but she ultimately doesn't want to? I can see that you still cared for your daughter, Mr. Motomiya…don't let your pride misjudge your daughter.

Entertainment isn't bad...music isn't bad...for in the end, it is more than just a product itself. Real music described our heartfelt emotions, what we really desire, our passion. I'm sure you want your daughter to be happy in the end, right?

We left the scene before we outstayed our welcome, and even though Mr Motomiya didn't seem to answer us, I could see that he was pondering over this matter as well. Knowing Nagisa's rising popularity and her happiness, I'm sure it'll come through somehow.

Then shit had to happen.

Mr Motomiya was abducted, accused for helping an accomplice - his daughter Nagisa Motomiya...

That, along with other residents from Lancastar.

To make things worse, Mrs Motomiya was in a distraught state.

Nagisa's voice was lost as a result of an extreme amount of stress that was weighed among her shoulders.

To make things even worse, Yuka Ichijo and Mamoru was in the middle of reconciliation, but have to be separated because DES were launching an attack at the guerrilla concert...

And the thing that make me snap...the very spark that ignited what humans called...'soul'.

Nagisa's father, along with the residents of Lancastar, will be executed...

I stepped onto the battlefield, with Alito transforming into Lifebane.

My 'soul', was left with nothing but pride and dignity...

My mind only told me one thing...

Rescue all the residents of Lancastar, at all costs.

Operational Mode...ENGAGE.

The rest were self-explanatory. Alito (Lifebane) and I barged into the DES base.

By then I was filled with a sensation that made me feel empowered. It's like as if an aura surrounded me, and temporary transformed me into a different being altogether. Filled with something optimistic...hope?

Every soldiers, every mechas, every aerial assault, Alito and I fear no one. We destroyed them, ripped off their spines, ignore their pleas because they are well beyond heartless, and even sliced through the mechas while resisting any heavy-hitting attacks that hit during the course of the battle.

My skins were charred, scarred, bloodied, bruised, and battered. But we don't care.

We have nothing to lose, haven't I?

For once, I felt something arising from within my heart, something that made me want to fight AKB0048's cause more than ever...

Pride...Dignity...Hope...freedom, and determination.

Is that what humanity is all about, going against all odds to fight for what you believe in?

Katagiri Atsuko's swarms of Kirara surrounded me, filing me with a peculiar of warmth, one that fuelled my determination, my dignity...

My desire to live...

I rather die, than to face the atrocities of DES having to shove their stupid values in our faces!

Alito de-evolved from her spirit weapon, and mentioned that she too felt the same sentiments as I did...

We joined our hands together, and the surge of power, the surge of warmth brought on by Katagiri's Kiraras empowered us.

With nothing to lose, we seared through the battlefield killing every DES members that got in our way despite our injuries. Knowing that even if we die, we would at least die with honor, and not through cowardice...

We survived the fight, rescued the prisoners, and even inspired them to rebel against DES.

Mr Motomiya was reunited with his wife and Nagisa. The tears of joy, their ecstasy in seeing one another alive and well, somehow brought that peculiar feeling of warmth once again.

Tsubasa had even noted seeing Alito and I unleashing an aura that seemed to represent our alternate forms - a testament that we might be slowly recovering our humanity...

The Kiraras that surrounded the skies surrounded Alito and I, glowing with radiance as they pulled off a Tree of Knowledge - letting us know the truth behind the Fuschia's death; Katagiri knew that it we were ready to face the truth that might potentially piss us off.

Turned out...it wasn't my fault that my loved ones died...

I'm too young to do anything at that time, despite my vast knowledge.

It was not my fault that my parents and relatives died of E. Coli, right?

I might have thought of a cure together with group of medical scientists, but that's when I'm twenty years old.

There's nothing I can do at the time of my loved ones' death, but neither is it my fault...

I found my own eyes starting to well up, and found myself starting to smile.

But...

Wouldn't that means letting go of my loved ones? To forget them? To forget what allowed me the chance to live?

NO!

I widened up my eyes...no, NO!

It might not be my fault for my loved ones' death...but I don't want to let them go!

I love them, I don't want to forget them! I don't want to be deemed as someone who doesn't care for my parents!

I looked away from the 77th Generation Kenkyuseis, the Senbatsu members, Nagisa, and her parents.

I could even feel the shock from the Kiraras that belonged to the Idols and Katagiri Atsuko...and from the idols themselves.

It's not that it's my fault that my parents and relatives died...

But it's the fact that I don't want to let them go.

If I let them go, I fear that I will forget them entirely.

I'm just...not ready.

But I can feel it...

I'm close...

Close in letting that which represents my pain go...

After all, I'm learning what humanity is, right?

Humanity...is admitting that I might not be the best at everything, right?

I clenched my fists, no longer feeling guilty about myself.

I'm angry, angry at myself at being useless...and more than determined to rid the last thorn in my heart.

As I felt a cold rush of wind and an icy blue aura surrounded me, I promised myself this.

I will train myself until this very day, and when 'that day' comes...

I will be ready...