Joker who was still next to Ash, took a deep, shuddering breath in. Ash couldn't help but cringe when the crew voiced their opinions, individually.
"The Commander's a hero and they just pull the damn plug on 'im? What in the hell?!" Vega yelled, throwing his hands in the air.
"Those people can really do that?" Tali questioned. Ashley nodded solemnly
"Pull the plug on Shepard? Of all the people," Garrus trailed off, stepping away from the group. He took some time to rub his face with his talons before returning to the group. It was his best friend they were talking about. There was no Shepard without Vakarian, and there wasnt a Vakarian without Shepard!
Javik leans over to Liara, asking in his deep voice, "They kill heroes in this cycle?" Liara responded with a wave of her hand and a 'shh' Javik muttered how the crew should throw the Commander's murders out the airlock, to which Garrus' mandibles twitched in agreement.
Joker who stood quietly the whole time finally spoke up.
"EDI," he slowly choked out, "and the Geth didn't die, the Reapers didn't just die, the Reapers killed, decimated," Joker pauses rephasing his next line. "every fifty-thousand years, and Shepard stopped them! And they want to pull the plug on him? This is a damn outrage!" Joker said slamming fist into his hand, hard. The sound of a bone popping out of place sounded throughout the small herd.
"Joker!" Traynor squealed.
"Listen to me, Joker," Ashley whispered. "I don't like it either!" she snapped and continue quickly due to a look on Joker's face saying he wasn't done. She stepped forward to place a hand on his broken one, and released a dose of Medi-Gel from her glowing Omni-Tool. "But don't you think the poor man deserves some peace. He accomplished so much," And no matter how bad she knew sounded, she had to say it. It barely came out audible.
"You of all people should be against this, Ash!" Joker said, obviously confused. "You should understand!"
"I understand fine," Ashley stated. "I never said I was for this Joker. I've dealt with his passing before, I can do it again." Ashley let that sink in before finally ending the conversation. "I should go before they decide to get on with it."
Ash started walking away and toward Shepard's room. When she turned the corner and was out of sight of the others, she slouched and put her head in her hands. That had to be the worst thing she had ever said, but she had to say it. If Joker was upset, and Ashley knew no reason why, she should be twenty times worse. Though she had to put up a leader facade, and she hope she did it well.
The door was locked when she worked up the nerve to actually go. She shook as she opened the door with her mere presence. When she walked in Hackett stood over Shepard looking somber.
"I was hoping you had come in already." Hackett said, breaking the awkward silence. Ashley glanced at Shepard who was motionless, he wasnt even breathing without the machine's help, his hands resting on his chest that was barely moving.
"I figure I'd tell the crew first." Ashley said tearing her eyes away from Shepard's body, and focusing on Hackett.
"How'd they take it?" Hackett asked.
"Not good. Joker was the worst." Ashley said remembering the sound of his fist hitting his hand, surprised that he didn't flinch when the sound of a cracking bone rang clear.
"I see," was Hackett's responded, patting Shepard's arm carefully. There was a long silence before Hackett took a step in Ash's direction. "I'm sorry it had to be this way. Though I'll give you some time alone." Hackett said stepping around Ashley.
She waited until she heard the door close and the lock engage before she let her tears fall. It was silent, the only sound in the room was the methodic beeping of the machines. If they didn't beep on time it'd mean that the patient hooked up to them was dead. Ashley didn't like that. She spent a few minutes making sure the machines were secure in the sockets.
Ashley pulled a chair up to Shepard's bedside slowly feeling for a pulse on his wrist. It was extremely faint, a dying light bulb compared to a cluster of stars.
There wasn't much that she could say. In the vids it seemed so easy to talk to someone that was dead, or in this case, dying. That was the opposite, especially for Ashley. The silence was unnerving, broken only by soft beeps from the machines she was so worried about earlier.
She took Shepard's hand, it was cold, as if he was already dead.
"No." She breathed, "God, Shepard, the power you hold over me." She smiled sadly at his face. The stubble he always shaved was coming in, his hair was growing out. Ashley wasn't sure she liked it all that much.
"Damn love, too." Ashley bit her lip, hesitant to continue. Instead she resolved to staring at Shepard's face, memorizing every line, and every bump. 'Is this really how I want to remember him by? In the hospital bed dying? Having machines keep him alive? No. I don't' Ashley thought.
The chair was uncomfortable and it creaked with every move she made. She sat here for about a half hour, still trying to wrap her head around everything. She fought with herself tooth and nail but fatigue was taking over. She had to finally say goodbye, to let go. But that was way easier said than done.
"When I heard that they found you, I was relieved, then Hackett told me things weren't good. I never realized how bad they were." Ashley squeezed his hand, the absences of his thumb rubbing slow circles against the back of her hand made more tears roll from her eyes. Ashley's chest physically hurt, it clenched tight and her stomach churned. She was really saying her farewell.
Ashley let out a breath and with it her resolve. She crumbled as she murmured her last sentences.
"You made me happy John. No one will ever be able to make me feel that way. You're a damn hero." She paused, took a shaky breath and continued. She brought his hand to her lips, and placed a gentle kiss on his palm. "I love you." There was no response, no different breathing, the machines still beeped on time, nothing. Her intimate gesture was answered by silence.
Ashley Williams stood, with one last breath her heart broke, her chest clenched tighter, her life shattered, and she started to walk to the door.
Shepard's eyes were closed, a light tingling sensation came over him. The light tingling sensation turning into a slight burning one, and escalated until it was excruciating pain. He heard machines beeping, but they got louder and louder, he was aware of his hand being lifted and then set down carefully. Most of his thoughts raced through his hazy mind. He then vaguely heard a voice. Ashley's voice!
It was loud but muffled, it was difficult to grasp. She said a few words and then stood.
Then the machines started beeping at a more intense rate. Instead of the beep with a quiet lull, it was a very high whine of beeps. Shepard couldn't take the burning in his chest and yelped, but he yelped one person's name. As hoarse as he was, it came out clear as day.
"Ashley!"
"Ashley!" She heard from behind her. Ashley practically gave herself whiplash. She stopped to look at the machines that were beeping loudly before his voice sounded. She couldn't even compare the sudden joy she felt when he yelled her name. Then intense fear, for those machines were beeping too fast to be healthy. There Shepard was, groping around in the darkness. Wide-eyed she didn't even question it, and tripped over her own feet trying to reach Shepard.
"Shepard! Jesus Christ!" She grabbed his hand that flailed in the air. "Relax, it's okay!" While Ash tried to follow her own advice, but her own heart was racing, she was truly panicking. She didnt panic when Dr. Eva slammed her into the side of a decimated shuttle, she was calm totally relaxed. Even on Virmire, she didnt panic, she was calm and tried to grasp the 'out-of-her-hand' situation. For the first time in a long while, she was truly panicked.
"Ahhhhrggggggg." The noises Shepard was making were not reassuring. Then common sense kicked in and she scurried to the door. She unlocked and opened it, sticking her head out.
"Hello! Help! Doctors! Anyone, Shepard's up!" Ash frowned when there was no response. Now Shepard was convulsing. It doesn't take a genius to know that isn't a good thing. She was by his side almost immediately, searching everywhere for some sort of device to call a nurse. When she found what she was looking for she slammed her free hand on it, the one that just so happened to not be in a sling.
That got the fire lit under their asses, soon Ashley heard dozens of footsteps thundering down the hall and into the room. She barely had time to get out the 'He's awake!' before two doctors started pushing her out. Two more worked the machines and started pushing needles into Shepard's arm and taking his pulse.
"No! I'm staying!" Ashley struggled.
"It's not safe for the commander," was the only response Ash got, before a hand clasped around her midsection and dragged her from the room. Now that pissed her off. She knew it wasn't going to happen, staying with Shepard, but it was worth a shot. And the hand sorta lingered, to which she grabbed the wrist of the poor person and twisted it, applying just a little bit of force.
"Eh! Watch the arm!" A slight hispanic voice whined.
"Now's not the time, Vega." Ashley snapped, running a hand through her hair to try and fix it, then rubbing her eyes.
"He's awake?" Vega asked,
"Guess so." Ashley paused, biting her lip, this was something she had to tell the crew. "Get the crew together in the lobby, there are some things we need to discuss."
Ashley Madeline Williams was never one to pace, but right now how could she stand still? Vega sat in one of the uncomfortable looking chairs typing messages away on his Omni-Tool. Surprisingly Joker came first.
"What the hell is going on, Williams?" He asked. Ash raised an eyebrow at that. 'Williams? He called me Williams instead of Ash, or Ashley?'
"I'm waiting on the rest of the crew, Joker." Ashley said stressing his name.
It only took a matter of minute before everyone that held some sort of position of importance on the Normandy was standing in the same lobby as before. Ash was uneasy, how would they take the news? How on Earth would she get through it before breaking down? Ashley opened her mouth to say something, but paused, what was she going to say? 'Oh hey yeah Shepard's awake, yay! But the doctors pushed me from the room so we're waiting on news.'
Thinking about it, yeah that would work. If you beat around the bush you just might squash the berries.
"Well get on with it, we're waiting." Joker said.
"Well, you all know that they're pulling the plug on Shepard, correct?" Ashley said, slowly drawing the sentence.
Joker scoffed, "You're mighty calm 'bout this, for someone so special to Shepard." Ashley flinched at the venom in his tone. It was obvious that he was more than upset. Pissed would be the better word.
"Yes well-" Ashley was interrupted by Joker.
"Listen we all know that you're a heartless person, but some of us are trying to mourn the loss of Shepard." he snapped. A collective gasp sounded through the lobby. This was definetly very unlike Joker, who normally was the wise-cracking pilot.
Ashley's hands curled into fists and half her lip turned up in a snarl. "Heartless?" She asked. Joker gave a reaffirming headshake, "I'm heartless? That's funny, you won't let me tell the crew the good news." Ashley forces herself to stay calm and looks up at everyone, other than Joker. The crew stood shocked at the outburst and insults flying from Joker's mouth.
"Shepard's alive, they are not pulling the plug!" Ashley said, she gave a wicked dirty look to Joker, and lets the news sink in.
"Keelah! That's great Ash!" Tali says a smile evident in her voice. Garrus grunts his approval as well. Liara smiles and glances at Javik, who stood expressionless but the small tug at his lips.
'Heartless?' Ashley thought still hurting from the insult. 'Im not heartless. Am I? I mean no right? The fact that Joker said that, someone I called a friend, said that.' Joker was still shocked, his jaw was hanging open and his eyes were wide with surprise. Ashley turned on her heel and started walking away. Because if she didn't, Joker would end up with a few broken bones, easy.
She queued up a message to Hackett, just to at least try and get her mind off of her problems.
He's alive, Hackett.
Williams
Was all she put and sent it. Seconds later she received a message back.
I know, meet me by his room.
Hackett.
She set a new course to Shepard's room only making a slight detour to the vending machines she saw. She swiped her chit and pressed a button for some sort of candy-bar. The candy came out in an airtight package that seemed impossible to open with her shaking hands. It wasn't until just now that Ashley realized just how deeply Joker's words had affected her. Sure she normally let those kind of things roll off her back, but was that really what Joker thought of her? A heartless woman that Shepard shouldn't have chosen, taken back.
The thought of it sent cold shivers up her spine. A friend, someone she thought she trusted. Ashley heard shuffling behind her and turned to the disturbance. Only to find a weary-eyed Joker.
"Listen, Ash," Joker started raising a hand to Ashley. If Ashley's eyes were Harbinger's laser, Joker would be a pile of ash.
"I don't want to hear it." Ashley said. It wasn't that she was mad. she was just shocked he said that, upset that he ever thought of Ash that way, but of course freaking ecstatic that Shepard woke up, even better, worried about Shepard's condition. She pushed past him, placing the candy bar in his hands with a slap.
She reached Shepard's room and saw Hackett standing at Shepard's door.
"Sir," She said, giving a quick salute.
"No need for that." Hackett said waving it off. He lowered his voice, "How are you? Now that Shepard's awoken you must feel better." Ashley gave a small ghost of her smile, and nodded. "What's wrong, you don't seem as happy as I thought you'd be?"
Ashley sighed. Should she tell him? I mean it was very upsetting and she needed to tell someone. Though Hackett wasn't the person, and she decided not to
"Personal issues, it'll be cleared up soon, sir." She resolved to say instead.
"Right," Hackett said skeptically, though he didn't question Ash. "Well, Williams, it's a damn miracle, I'll get straight to the facts. Shepard woke up about 13:30 with you in the room. It is now," He looked down at his Omni-tool checking the time. "14:10, give or take. We have had steady and normal increase in activity, both brain and physical. He is now speaking with relative ease, and should be able to be taken off regular sedatives in about a day." Ashley smiled now. "He is currently under due to the fact the doctors dont want him hurting himself before he had has time to heal."
"Regular sedatives?" She asked.
"Yes, the fact that Shepard just rose from a coma that he spent months in, we don't want him to overexert himself. In his state now, just raising his hand can do just that, even though Shepard is a strong, healthy, man. It is procedure." Hackett said.
"Oh," She said slightly relieved, 'It's just procedure' "That's great news."
"You can go in and visit if you wish." Hackett said, gesturing to the door.
'There's still things I need to do. Someone I need to talk to.' She thought to herself, before answering.
"As tempting as the offer is, I have things to do. John will be fine for a bit, right?" She asked. Hackett nodded his answer and Ash continued. "Good, though when I return I wish to be alone with him." she paused, adding a small please at the end.
Hackett gave a small smile before saying, "Access granted."
A/N And FINALLY Hallelujah, I actually updated! Too be frank, Im terribly sorry about the extremly long break between the cliff hanger and now. But to be honest, my birthday was Saturday and Im still hurting, and I just wasnt in the mood to write. Im not entirely too happy with this Chapter but, I figured I'd get it out. That and I've been playing Dragon Age... It took me ages to kill the ArchDemon!
ALSO! I have an idea for a novelization of Mass Effect, each one has a different Romance sub-plot, and both of them have very diff. story lines. One it's a Male soldier, while the other is a Female biotic... I just cant decide which one to do... And I tried combining them but it just doesnt work... Either or, I want to write one and publish it here. Any suggestions? Reviews are Great, for it was one from a Guest that got my ass in gear to write this! To whoever the Guest was that said 'The suspense is killing me' or something along those lines, the readers of Alone In The Dark have you to thank!