On Unions Civil and Otherwise

by Kita-Ysabell

Ten years have passed- ten years to the day- and when Utena and Anthy's engagement party goes somewhat awry, Saionji finds that some things are not so easily forgotten, and faces the bitter possibility that to make good his escape from Ohtori, he must rescue his oldest and closest friend- whether that friend wants to be rescued or not.

8. Traced in Absence

I don't really care to dwell on my love life. Not because there hasn't been one, mind, just because it's never gone very well. I've received more than my fair share of feminine attention, especially in high school. And as time went on, I took a few girls up on their offers. But none of those relationships ever lasted, and given their brevity, they generated an incredible ammount of vitriol.

At the moment, there's no one, and it's been a long time since I sought a girl out. Nor do I have any particularly close friends. I'm on pleasant terms with a number of my peers, but nothing more. I don't go out. I don't confide. I tell myself that it's a solitude born of choice, and maybe it is.

But by choice or otherwise, there is a place in my life traced in absence. And at last, I have seen it. What now?

Would I risk something, going back to Ohtori? Would I risk entrapment? Or would I risk the betrayal of a memory?

And if I did not go, could I erase this absence in my life? Could I fill it as other people fill it, without undue concern, ignoring the fact that whatever I find would be an imperfect match to the use to which I would put it?

Or will it drive me, even to my grave?

Can I ever really leave the past behind?