Dr. Leland stared hard at the wall, tapping a pencil nervously against her desk. She had been thinking about this for a long time, and had finally reached a decision. She nodded firmly to herself, and then pressed a buzzer on her desk. "Ann? Can you ask the guards to bring me the Joker, please?"

About five minutes later, the Clown Prince of Crime was dragged into her office, smiling as usual. "What's up, Doc?" he chuckled.

"Leave us, please," said Dr. Leland to the guards.

"Are you sure you wanna…" began one of the guards.

"Yes," she interrupted. "Go back to your posts."

The guards shared a look but obeyed, leaving and shutting the door behind them. Joker still smiled at her. "Wanting some private time with the clown, huh, Doc?" he chuckled. "Y'know, I always suspected you had a thing for me. Well, it wouldn't be the first time I've done a shrink in her office. And I won't tell Harley if you won't."

Dr. Leland ignored him, studying him intently. She wondered if this was the right thing to do. It seemed like madness, but it felt right, and that was all she had to rely on at the moment. "You won't have seen the news yet, will you?" she asked.

"News? Oh yes, those dreadful bombings. Shocking tragedy, I must say," sighed Joker, although he still smiled. "All those innocent people blown up into little, tiny pieces!" He suddenly laughed hysterically. "Sorry, Doc, it just…cracks me up!" he giggled.

"And you haven't heard who the police are saying is responsible for them?" asked Dr. Leland quietly.

"Nope. It's not me, is it?" he asked. "I'm innocent, Doc, I swear! There ain't no gag in blowing up a stadium and a library and…what was the third one?"

"A hospital."

"Yeah…but that don't sound like a set up to a joke, does it? A stadium, a library, and a hospital walk into a bar…nope, it just don't work, Doc. It ain't funny. And if it ain't funny, you know I didn't do it."

"Nobody is saying you did it. But the…person they've found evidence against is being committed to this institution in a matter of hours…"

"Oooh, wait, lemme guess," said Joker, holding up his hand and shutting his eyes. "Who's not here at the moment who likes to explode stuff? Harley, but she's in here. Harvey too, but same goes. Pammie likes her exploding fruit, but she's in here too. Johnny Crane likes explosions of gas and terror, but he's here. Tetchy sometimes gets explosive, but he's locked up. Hmm…running out of options. Eddie Nygma's here, Croc's here, Freeze is here, Scarface is here, Clayface is here…who else is there? Pengers is in Blackgate, I'm sure, along with Bane…"

He paused. "Ok, I give up. Who is it?"

"It's…"

"Catwoman!" he exclaimed, leaping to his feet. "Kitty's finally snapped from the lack of Bat-action and turned to the dark side! It's Catwoman, isn't it?"

"No, it's…"

"Hugo Strange! He's probably got an itchy bombing finger!"

"No, it's…"

"Lex Luthor! Coming into my town and screwing things up – I hope Batsy beats the crap outta him…"

"It's Batman, Joker," retorted Dr. Leland.

He stared at her. "You wanna repeat that, Doc?" he murmured. "And then pinch me, because I think I might be dreaming."

"The man they've accused of the bombings, the man they're incarcerating here…is Batman."

Joker just gaped at her. Then he started laughing hysterically, jumping up and down in excitement. "Oh, I knew if I wished upon a star hard enough, my dream would come true! It's like Christmas and my birthday and a mass shooting all rolled into one! Finally, after all these years, Batsy's coming home to where he belongs, in the madhouse with the rest of the crazies!"

He kept laughing, actually falling down on the floor and rolling around, unable to get up. Dr. Leland just watched him without saying anything, until he recovered himself enough to climb back into his chair. "Sorry…Doc!" he gasped, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. "It's just…such a great gag! After all Bats has done for this city, and they toss him to the wolves like the pack of ingrates they are! Aw, it's just hilarious!"

"You know what's going to happen to him in here, don't you?" asked Dr. Leland quietly. "Everyone will try to kill him."

"Can't really blame them, Doc – after all, he ain't been the most considerate guy over the years," said Joker, nodding. "Short temper, tendency to beat people to bloody pulps, tragic really. I think some psychiatric help will do him a lotta good, I really do. Maybe he can finally get to grips with these violent impulses he has. Plus all those delusions about justice and right…"

"Joker, you're an intelligent man," interrupted Dr. Leland. "I'm not going to insult your intelligence by assuming that you want Batman dead."

"Course I don't, Doc," retorted Joker, nodding. "What would I ever do without the guy? Life would be so boring. Without Batman, crime has no punchline."

"Precisely. You understand how important he is. You're probably the only one in here who understands that. Which is why I'm asking you to look after him. I'm implementing a new policy which requires all inmates to have roommates. You're going to be his. I need you to take care of him, to guard him, to keep him safe from the others. You're the only one who can do that. You're the only one the others are afraid of."

Joker looked over the moon. "You're gonna make me and Batsy roomies?" he gasped. "Sweetheart, I could kiss you!"

"Thanks, don't," snapped Dr. Leland as Joker leaned forward. "I know you don't take things seriously, but I think you understand how serious this situation is. If Batman is destroyed, as an image, or as a person, your favorite joke will be ruined. And that wouldn't be funny at all, would it?"

Joker nodded. "I get ya, Doc," he said. "And don't you worry. Nobody's gonna be able to touch a hair on Batsy's head. I'll guard him night and day – I'll be on him like a drunk date on prom night! Speaking metaphorically, of course," he chuckled.

As Dr. Leland watched the guards return him to his cell, she sincerely hoped, for Batman's sake, that he was.