Okay, so, very late update, yes, but on the plus side, this chapter is just a bundle of fluffy angst and tragic backstory, so, you know... enjoy?
Rachel :P
Chapter 43
"... Jim?"
"Hmm?" came the sleepy response, and Bones couldn't help but smile down at the teen in his arms, his eyes slowly closing against his will, trying to fight the urge to sleep.
"Can I... ask you something?"
"M'kay".
The doctor shared a look with the Vulcan over the blonde's head, and Spock too a deep breath before nodding once.
Bones turned back to his youngest boyfriend, "Jim... earlier on, with Pike and the... the whole 'killing Khan' incident... what did you mean by you knew how to use a gun?"
The boy immediately stiffened, eyes flying open, all traces of sleepiness suddenly gone.
"... Nothing".
"Jim".
"It's America?"
"Jim".
"Everyone knows how to use a gun here".
"Jim!"
"... It's not a very nice story" He finally replied quietly, and once more Bones glanced over at Spock, a worried frown on his face.
"That's okay. We'd still like to hear it, if you'd be willing to tell us".
"... It makes me even more fucked up".
"Jim, you are not-"
"I tried to kill myself".
Silence.
Both men stared down at him in shock.
He took a deep breath and continued, "I... I tried to kill myself. With a gun. In Las Vegas... It was a few days after I got there, I was hungry and cold and I couldn't teleport or- or use telekinesis or even build up a mind shield yet because I hadn't met those people yet... I didn't want to continue living like that".
"... What stopped you?" Spock asked quietly, his grip around the youngers waist tightening protectively.
Jim gave a small smile, "Martha... She's a fortune teller, in one of the circuses there, has precognition... And she saw what was going to happen and stopped me just in time... Gave me shelter, food, a way to survive... If it weren't for her..."
He slowly trailed off, and Bones swallowed thickly before sitting up, causing the other two mutants to turn to him in surprise.
Ignoring their confused gaze, he took off his jacket, rolled up his sleeves, and held out both arms in front of him.
Almost immediately, Jim stilled, eyes latched on the silvery white scars that littered his skin from wrist to elbow. Slowly sitting up, he carefully reached out, running a warm fingertip along the deepest, most jagged mark.
"... This should have killed you".
He gave a sad smile, "And if my power wasn't able to bring me back from the brink of death... it would have".
"... You said you used to be suicidal, you told me, weeks ago" the blonde continued, "You said you were a doctor that smoked and drank and got into fights and- and yet- I never expected this".
Bones eyed the scars critically, "Yes, well, I wasn't known for having the greatest coping methods back then... Or when I first came here, to be honest".
"... When did you stop?"
He frowned, thinking.
"I don't know... somewhere around 3 years ago?"
"... Do you still want to?"
"To cut? No" He replied firmly, "I should never have begun first day, and I can see that now. But back then... I wasn't exactly in a good place".
"And that's why Pike assigned you a counsellor when you came here?"
"Exactly" Bones nodded, "I mean, it took some time... A lot of time before I realised that what I was doing wasn't healthy, wasn't safe, and it took even longer before I found something else to do instead, to distract me until I no longer felt the need to harm myself".
"And that worked?"
"Oh, I think shoving my tongue down Spock's throat was a fairly good distraction, yes".
The Vulcan flushed green and ducked his head, and Jim couldn't help but lean over to kiss his cheek, grinning.
"Oh don't be embarrassed, pointy! You are rather distracting".
He awkwardly cleared his throat, "... It was a rather unorthodox method-"
"But it worked" the blonde finished, smiling softly at him, "And that's all that matters... Now come on, it's your turn".
He frowned and glanced back up, "My turn? For what?"
"For revealing your tragic backstory and unhealthy coping mechanisms" Jim replied innocently, "I used a gun, Bones used a blade, what was your shameful desire?"
"What you did was in no way shame-"
"Spock".
The Vulcan paused, before returning his gaze to the quilt wrapped around them, aimlessly tugging at a loose string.
"... I ran away".
"I know" Jim replied, "You already told me that part".
"... But I didn't tell you why".
The blonde frowned, lying back down next to the older man to listen.
Spock stared at the leather gloves covering part of his hand.
"... I always had my power. I've been controlling energy for as long as I can remember... But when I was child, it was hardly noticeable. Just little waves here and there. Nothing to draw attention to myself, nothing to stand out, nothing to... to make me even more different from other Vulcans my age".
He took a deep breath.
"My mother was a mutant. And against all odds, I had inherited that trait from her... She was the only one I ever showed my power to. I knew that no one else would understand, most of them had never even met a human after all, before my parents got married. They didn't know what a mutant was... And so, my mother was the only one who ever saw it, and she helped me use it, control it, much like Professor Pike does at this academy... And then the Romulans attacked".
"There was a war" Jim recalled quietly, and Spock nodded, "Yes. Their leader, Nero, wanted to destroy my home planet. He was no match for the Vulcan soldiers, of course, and it only took a few days to regain control. But by then... the damage was done".
He swallowed thickly and avoided the blonde's concerned gaze.
"My mother... my mother had been killed" He choked out, "And when my father came to tell me... I lashed out. I lost control. My power just... took over... My father, Sarek, didn't even know I was a mutant at that point, I had never told him and it was the only secret my mother had ever kept from her husband".
"What happened?" Jim asked quietly, and he gave the worried teen a small smile, "The force of the energy wave threw him across the entire room. I don't think I ever saw him so shocked looking... He was okay, though, he was still alive and able and- well. Let's just say that the only damage done was familial".
"He hated you because of your power?"
"He was terrified of me because of my power" Spock corrected, "My mother had only minor abilities, nothing to cause him... concern, as such... But the power that I displayed, triggered by such an illogical emotional response... It wasn't acceptable. So. I left".
"You became a stowaway on Pike's Starship".
He slowly nodded, "Yes. I did. They had stopped to resupply and... I had heard of their captain. I knew what he was, what he could do... So I hid until it was too late for them to return me to Vulcan, and I plead my case to him".
Jim let out a heavy breath before suddenly laughing.
Both men turned to him surprised.
He couldn't help but smile back, "Just... what are the chances?"
"... Of what?" Bones asked confused.
"Of us finding each other" He replied, "The three most fucked up mutants in this entire building ending up together... Rather poetic, don't you think?"
"Oh just-" the doctor grabbed the pillow from behind his head and hit him with it.
"Hey!" Jim protested, reaching for his own one to fight back, "Spock! Help me! I'm under attack!"
"You will be under attack once I get my hands on you!"
The Vulcan smiled fondly at the bickering pair, unable to shove down the warmth that surrounded his heart.
They may have been the 'three most fucked up' mutants here, after all.
But they were the three most fucked up mutants together.
And right now?
That was all that mattered.