1zara-uchiha1 and I don't own the Naruto cast or anything else you might recognize. 1zara-uchiha1 owns Laura and I own Kahlan. Together we own the plot.

Chapter 19

Note: Yelling is of no use unless they fear you

~Kahlan's POV

"We're here to help, yeah," Deidara says slightly annoyed.

"Um…those bags right there on the table are meant for the fridge," I say pointing to said bags. "Milk, juice and tea along with eggs go on top shelf, bread on the bottom shelf, butter and cheese go to the little slot door on the side and everything else goes on the middle shelf. Any frozen stuff obviously goes into the freezer. Good luck and try to keep it organized…please."

Deidara grumbles something as him and Kisame grab the bags and walk over to the fridge. I turn back around placing the dry food and cans up in the cabinets with Laura. All of this food should last for a while. Most of it is cheap and came from deals, but I'm not going to complain. Food is food and as long as I get my peaches and pocky then I'm happy.

"Done," Kisame calls out.

"Show off, un."

"You're just slow," Kisame says with a chuckle.

"Hidan is slower than me, un."

I give a sideways glance at Laura when she starts laughing. I smile then chuckle a few times as I put the last few items away. I close the cabinets and turn to face the two men in the room with us.

"We're going to need body measurements before any clothing shopping gets done," I say as I look them up and down trying to get a mental measurement as well as an idea of what kind of style to get them.

"I'll get to it when Leader tells me to," Kisame says with a wave of his hand as he gets a cup.

"I can buy my own clothes, un."

"Not without any money," I reply.

"I'll steal them if I have to, hmm."

"Whatever," I say as I get away from the counter. "Laura could you come with me please?" Call it being paranoid, but I just can't leave Laura alone with any of them. Who knows what kind of criminal alien ninja stuff they would do to her.

"I have an idea," Laura suddenly says with a grin.

She grabs my hand and starts dragging me out of the room. Slightly confused, I allow her to drag me down the hall to her room. Inside the room Laura lets go of my hand and walks over to her closet. In the closet is a bunch of her different kimonos which I have learned from her that there are no actual articles of clothing called a kimono in Japan. Also, there's a bunch of fabric for when she makes the Japanese clothing.

"What is your idea," I ask as she starts searching through the fabric.

"I wanna make a furisode for Konan," she replies.

I nod trying to remember what type of clothing that is. Tapping my finger against my lips, I try to recall the answer. I know it's "kimono" but the type…now I remember it's the one with the long sleeves.

"Want me to go get her so you can get her body measurement," I ask not really knowing what to do.

All I know about designing clothes is you need body measurements and a pattern I think. Designing and making clothes as well as stuff to do with the Japanese is Laura's forte. My forte lies in writing and music…and I guess cooking.

"Yeah just tell her that it will only take a few minutes," Laura replies.

"Not a problem," I reply back and head out the room.

I make my way to the living room. The room is empty with the exception of Sasori and Konan. This has me slightly worried because Lord only knows what the alien ninjas could be up to. Shaking my head, and hoping that they're not doing anything that will cause me and Laura trouble I walk over to Konan.

"Excuse me," I say causing Konan to look up from the origami book in her hands.

I got that to learn origami only to get frustrated and throw the book across the room. After just giving up for sucking at it I just gave it to Laura and told her to do whatever she wants with it. I've seriously forgotten about the book until now.

"Laura and I need to see you for just a few short minutes," I continue. "It won't take long I promise."

She nods marking her spot and stands up. With a nod I turn around and head back to Laura's room with a slight wave to Sasori…or Danna…whatever his name is. Back inside Laura's room we see her with a few fabric choices lying on the bed and continuing to look at the choices in the closet.

"Back," I say gaining her attention.

Laura grins, "Cool, welcome back and hi Konan."

"Hello," Konan replies with a small smile.

"Is it okay if we get your body measurements," I ask slightly shuffling my feet feeling uncomfortable. Yeah I know I'm weird.

Konan gives a small nod and Laura walks over with a smile and tape measure in hand. Quickly looking around the room, I grab a pad of paper and pencil. Laura goes through the whole process and I write down the measurements. It takes about five minutes to complete. Konan then goes to sit down on the bed she was sleeping in last night and quietly watches.

"Now to figure out what kind of materials to use," Laura says and goes back to fabric searching.

Tapping the pencil eraser against the pad, I look at the pile Laura has out then what is in the closet. My eyes then move to Konan and I just look at her for a second then back at the fabric.

"How about a black and red color scheme with maybe some white," I reply tossing the pencil towards the desk; "that way it kind of goes with the cloaks that are worn by all of them."

"That would be nice," Konan speaks up.

"Plus nobody would stare at you weirdly," Laura says with her eyes lighting up. "That's a perfect idea."

Konan and I just watch as Laura grabs a bunch of fabric and heads to her sewing station. I place the pad down next to her then go take a seat in the empty chair across the room. I wouldn't mind helping but as I have stated before, making clothes are not my forte. I was taking sewing class back in school and we had to make a pillow and an apron. The teacher was nice enough to not give me bad grades. I had tried to make a regular rectangular pillow and it turned out looking like some deformed sock. As for the apron…let's just say that it never became what it was supposed to be. Plus, I always end up injuring myself in some way.

After watching Laura for a while I figured it would be good to cook dinner. Standing up, I stretch until I hear the little pops and I mumble nitrogen under my breath. Yeah, here is a fact; that little popping noise you hear when stretching is from nitrogen bubbles popping; at least that is what my science teacher told me back in middle school.

"I'm gonna cook dinner," I say finishing dinner and heading to the door.

"Okay," Laura replies not looking up from her job.

Konan nods in reply and I walk out heading to the kitchen. I start pulling out broccoli, rice, cheddar cheese, milk, flour, butter, salt and chicken. Grabbing all of the utensils and pots I'll need I start making the food. I cook the rice in the rice cooker. With the fresh broccoli I put it in a small pot of boiling water. In another pot I have the chicken in boiling water. While that's going on I melt some butter. After it finishes melting I stir in flour and salt the gradually add milk. With it all well mixed I add it on low heat and sit it constantly until it's smooth and thicken then add the grated shredded cheese creating a cheese sauce and leave it for a few minutes stirring occasionally.

While cooking I hear the door to the back door open. Turning around I see the missing alien ninja criminals also known as the Akatsuki members walk in. Some of them look dirty while others look perfectly clean. Leader, Itachi, Zetsu, Kakuzu and Tobi seem to not have a single speck of dirt on them. The others look like they were in some sort of war dealing with a lot of mud.

"Clean up please, dinner will be done soon," I say turning back to the food.

"Where is Konan," Leader asks.

"Last time I check she was with Laura," I reply as I drain the broccoli to let it cool.

There's no reply and I really couldn't care less. All I hear is silence with the exception of boiling water. Taking a peek over my shoulder I notice all but Itachi, Kakuzu and Hidan have left the room. Shrugging, I start searching for the cutting board and knife.

"How long do I fucking have to wait for the food to be fucking done," Hidan asks.

"However long it takes," I reply finding what I was searching for.

"Bitch I'm fucking hungry now."

"That's nice," I reply not caring as I start mincing the broccoli.

"That better not go in my fucking food; I fucking hate vegetables."

What I really want to say is and I hate having alien criminal ninjas in my home but you don't see me complaining. Instead I say, "You'll eat what I make or you can starve."

"Fuck no you fucking won't add that to my fucking food."

"Stop complaining," I hear Kakuzu say.

"Tobi shut the hell up and get off me, un," Deidara yells from the living room.

"But sempai, Tobi just wants a hug," Tobi yells back.

"I don't care get the hell off, hmm!"

"Both of you can shut up and stop getting mud all over the place," I hear Sasori slightly raise his voice.

Taking a deep breath, I keep myself calm as I just continue making dinner. Placing the now minced broccoli to the side, I check to see if the chicken is done. Out of the corner of my eye I see Hidan walk out of the room. There's more yelling with swearing involved now.

I continue to ignore the yelling hoping that they will come to their senses and quiet down. With the chicken breast finished, I drain it as I turn the finished rice off as well. I add the chicken one piece at a time into the blender and let it chop up into pieces. It's quick and I don't have to wait for it to cool down so I can cut it.

"Quite down before I decide to chop your heads off, take your hearts and then sell your body," I hear Kakuzu yell. Wonder when he left the kitchen.

"Fuck off," Hidan yells back.

"Why is everyone so mean to Tobi when Tobi is a good boy," said person yells/cries out.

"No one likes you, un!"

"Brat no one likes you!"

My foot starts tapping against the floor as I mix the rice, cheddar sauce, chicken and broccoli together. Still the yelling continues and my head feels like it's throbbing from all the yelling. I take a few deep breaths to keep myself calm. It seem like the situation was starting to calm down until I hear Kisame speak up.

"What did I miss," I hear Kisame ask. "Whoa, what's with Tobi sitting on Deidara's lap like that? Are you two gay for each other?" I can hear the amusement in his voice.

"Hell no, un!"

"Tobi doesn't know what you mean."

"Get the hell off me before I blow you to pieces, un!"

"You're not blowing anything or anyone up brat," Sasori yells.

"Whoa, I fucking knew Deidara-chan was gay with that fucking long ass hair of his that he's always fucking worried about."

"I'm not gay, un!"

"You're all getting on my nerves," Kakuzu yells.

Suddenly I hear a loud crash and Tobi screaming, "Deidara sempai you could have hit Tobi!"

Turning away from the finished meal, I notice that Itachi is still in the room silently sitting at the table with his eyes closed. Without a second glance I storm off into the living room. Kisame has a grin on his face. Hidan is laughing while Deidara starts throwing a few decorative glass bowls at Tobi who is dodging them. Sasori has an annoyed look but isn't doing anything to stop them. Kakuzu looks like he's about to blow a gasket.

"Stop it right now," I yell pissed with a now major headache. For a second everyone stops and looks at me then it seems like hell breaks loose.

"Go the fuck away you dumb bitch!"

"Save Tobi," said man yells throwing himself at my feet and wrapping his arms around my legs. Immediately I become frozen not liking the fact of being touched. I resist the urge to kick the guy since I have no idea what he's capable of, plus one of the members might try to hurt me.

"Don't save him I plan on turning him to art, yeah."

"Tobi doesn't want to be blown away," Tobi yells out and starts crying.

The yelling continues as they completely ignore me. My eyes look down at the man still holding onto my legs seeming to be very content at where he is at. Clenching my hands into fist, I take a deep breath to yell again but stop and look up when I hear Leader.

"Silence," Leader yells standing in the pathway leading to the hall with Konan right next to him. Each one of them becomes quiet.

"Before I use my paper to cut off your genitals," Konan says in a more calm relax voice but you can tell she's serious with the glare on her face. "I will then place them in the blender and then force you to eat them after making you watch a starving dog eat half of them."

Whoa, that is one hell of a threat. Each male takes a few steps back and covers their family jewels with their hands. Ouch that will have to hurt for them. Glad I'm not a guy.

Unable to restrain myself, I clap and let out a chuckle. They look over at me probably wondering if I'm crazy. With another chuckle I turn to Konan.

"That was awesome," I tell her.

Okay so yelling doesn't work unless they fear you. It seems they fear both Leader and Konan and I don't blame them. Those are some scary threats that they say. They would probably go through with those threats too.

"Well dinner is done," I say, thankful Tobi is no longer hugging my legs as I walk back into the kitchen. Now hopefully this pounding headache will go away.

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