Chapter 8: A Dark Past Revealed

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Sand. Sand, nothing but sand. It stretched forever, a sea of just sand. It was hot; I was struggling to remain conscious. Yuri was fading in and out. I saw something…in the distance. A shadow, no, a person! Yuri woke up, and saw the figure too.

"H-help us. Please…" she croaked. " We were accompanying the Hittite Prince Zannanza, but our caravan was attacked. I have to report…back to Hattusa…"

"Hah! The prince's party was attacked? How embarrassing for Hittite soldiers to be defeated by bandits!" The man laughed. He had honey skin, and had two different colored eyes. Heterochromia. The word came to mind in my reverie. He began to ride away. I was dazed; my vision was fading in and out.

We followed him, reaching an oasis. I had dismounted, and turned in time to see Yuri with a knife to the man's throat. "Can't see sit still for a moment?" I think to myself, staggering over as fast as I could, my knife drawn.

Yuri had already passed out, the man had put a cloth under her as a pillow. Then I saw him draw the knife he had taken from Yuri and draw close to her back.

"Don't. Touch. Her." I pant, My knife pressing against his back.

"Whoa, calm down, little mouse. I was just tending to her wound. The arrow needs to come out." He said, putting his hands up in surrender. I regarded him a moment, and moved my knife away.

"I am no mouse." I breathe.

"Perhaps not. Now hold down her shoulders." He said, leaning over Yuri. I silently apologized to Yuri and firmly placed my hands on her shoulders.

The moment the man touched her wound, she groaned in pain, he gripped the arrow and braced his hand on her back. The shriek that came from her mouth would haunt my memories for years to come. I quickly tore the end of my tunic and wrapped the wound as tightly as possible, applying pressure to staunch the blood flow.

"Yours next?" The Egyptian asked, approaching me.

"I'm fine." I say, backing away. I needed the arrow to stay for now.

"Don't be a baby. It will hurt more if you wait. I'll be quick about it." The Egyptian promised, moving toward the horses and removing the stray arrows that struck them.

"I know. Just leave it. We…we need to get back to Hattusa." I exhaled, flinching as Huwant whinnied in pain as another arrow was pulled out.

"I would welcome war. Gives us soldiers a chance at glory. And besides, the rulers are all corrupt. It'd be nice if they just killed eachother."

"Prince Kail…is…not corrupt…" A weak voice chimed in. "Neither was…Prince Zannanza…I can't…let his dream die…" Yuri gasped out. Before she faded back into sleep.

"A chance for glory…at the price of how many lives?" I asked the Egyptian soldier. He didn't look at me.

We continued to ride through the desert, the hot sun beating relentlessly on us. I think my mouth was permanently dried out. The Egyptian soldier was leading the way. I was still dazed, like I wasn't really there. Yuri was even worse, practically falling off her horse. The arrow was still in my shoulder, the flesh had hardened.

"Yuri…why don't you take a nap?" I suggested wearily. She shook her head.

"So you are from Hattusa? I hear Hattusa has their hands on a pair of Goddesses, Ishtar and Ereshkigal." The Egyptian soldier mused.

"Mmmhmmm…Yuki is Ereshkigal and I am Ishtar." Yuri said blearily.

"But…a pair of skinny girls like you? There's no way! I hear that the goddesses were more beautiful then any woman! That Prince Kail took Ishtar as a concubine for himself!" The Egyptian said in disbelief.

"That'd be me." Yuri said

"You have to be lying!" He cried in dismay, is image of the goddesses shattered.

"I don't even want to know how you imagined the goddesses." I laugh humorlessly.

How much further were we from Hattusa? Was I too late? Was Zannanza's death for nothing?

Back in Hattusa:

Hadi's POV

It looked like his majesty was bent on war. It has been confirmed…that Zannanza and his entire party…was gone.

I tried to stop the tears that streamed down my face. Princess Yuri…gone, dead.

As hard as my sisters and I were taking it, Ilbani and Prince Kail had it worse. Prince Kail had not spoken a word to anyone since their disappearance, and Ilbani…I had never seen Ilbani hold so much emotion. So much rage.

Tempers were rising, Egypt accused us of not sending a prince, we accused that Egypt killed our prince. Egypt and Hattusa at war…even if we were victorious, the repercussions would be permanently damaging.

"Attack!" the King's deadly command was issued. Chaos was about to break out and I made a move to push my sisters safely inside, when an arrow thunked on the floor between the two nations.

"A word, before you play this deadly game." An Egyptian man said playfully.

"The Egyptians didn't do it!" A familiar voice cried out. My tears began anew, but with relief as Yuri came into view, falling off her horse and into Prince Kail's arms. Yuri! She was alive! She ignored those around her and pointed at a guard.

"That man…he killed Prince Zannanza!" She cried.

"Oh the poor girl, the sun has baked her brain! She is seeing things!" The Queen cried in mock pity.

"No. It was he! He killed Prince Zannanza! His blood is on my dress… that man stabbed him with his spear!" Yuri cried desperately.

"Girl! To accuse such a crime, without a shred of evidence! You have some nerve…" The Queen scoffed.

"I have your proof." A new voice joined the discussion. I heard Ilbani before I saw whom it was.

"Yuki!" Ilbani shouted, disbelief, joy and panic mixed into his voice as he dashed up to her, supporting her.

"Ah! How nice! Both of our goddesses have survived the attack, but girl, you should get that wound looked at! Claiming you have evidence while you are mad could get you in trouble!" The Queen chuckled. Her voice was making my skin crawl. I hurried over to Princess Yuri, holding tightly on to her hand. She was real. I don't care what happens now, she was real, and she was here, alive. I turned my attention back to Yuki.

"I…have…evidence." She said, her voice failing her. Ilbani had a proprietary arm around her waist, careful of the arrow jutting from her shoulder.

"Silence! You insolent girl…" The Queen's temper was rising.

"Wait. I wish to listen to her words. The last time I did not heed her warning ended in…this." His Majesty said, gesturing to the situation at hand.

"Thank you, your Grace." She said. Even amoung all of this, she managed to remember her manners.

"This arrow…whoever killed Prince Zannanza…shot me with this arrow. Pull it out and see whether it was made by Hattusa or Egypt!" Her voice was getting stronger with every word.

"It's been in you for days, it will hurt terribly to pull it out, we will have to cut it out." Ilbani warned her. He didn't want to hurt her either.

"No. No, cut it out now!" She cried in such agony it brought tears to my eyes. "Please Ilbani. Prince Zannanza…I don't want him to die in vain. We cannot let there be war." She moaned in pain.

"…Hadi…please bring me a blade and hold it over a flame." Ilbani said. I quickly obliged. Yuri had crawled over to Yuki, grabbing her hand and holding it. Ilbani put his arm by her mouth, giving her something to bite on. She sat with her back leaning on Ilbani's chest, him holding her tightly as Prince Kail readied to cut the arrow out. I handed the knife over, I saw Ilbani tighten his hold.

I saw him murmuring things in her ear to keep her calm; I couldn't look as Prince Kail brought the knife to her skin. I could hear it though. The ones could only hear the surprised "Che!" close by. She was trying to smother her voice in Ilbani's arm, trying to hide the pain she was in. But she couldn't smother her voice as the blade cut deeper and usually strong and confident voice rose in anguish. It was odd in my ears, she was always so strong, so in control, to see her in such pain and agony, it was like watching your parent cry. Something you had always seen as solid, a rock completely fall apart before your eyes. But…she didn't cry. She had bitten Ilbani and drawn blood, she had screamed in pain, but not a single tear escaped her eyes.

She panted, a small whimpering noise that escalated higher when Prince Kail took the arrow in his hand and pulled it out. Yuki was left there, looking dejected and broken, leaning on Ilbani, gasping hard.

"This proves it! This arrow is definitely a Hittite arrow!" Prince Kail declared brandishing the arrow.

"I-I was ordered!" The accused man suddenly bolted. He didn't get far before he was killed…by none other then Urhi. No, he was the witness! He could have convicted Queen Nakia! I bemoaned the turn of events, but the again, our goddesses were back. I will take what we can get. I turned and was shocked to see Yuki on her feet. Yuri had passed out from exhaustion, tears on her face.

"Your Majesty, I take full responsibility for Prince Zannanza's death. I was sent to protect him, and I failed. I will take any punishment you see fit." Yuki said, kneeling.

"Don't be ridiculous, child, you've done all you could. You warned us all of sending Prince Zannanza away, but we dismissed you. I ask you to get some rest. I would enjoy it if you would attend the meeting concerning this matter further." His Majesty said, standing to leave. Yuki got up and turned her attention elsewhere.

"Prince Kail, Yuri had an arrow in her back, it was removed but I fear infection. I would prefer it if she see a surgeon look at it." She said, Prince Kail immediately looked at the wound and nodded in ascent, taking Yuri in his arms and leaving quickly.

"Kikkuri, Aslan and Huwant were injured during the attack, I leave them in your hands." Kikkuri in response grabbed Aslan and Huwant's reigns, pulling them toward the stable.

"Hadi, can you and your sisters help get the Egyptians here settled? I think they may be staying here for a while." She turned to me. The force was back in her eyes. Yuki was back.

"It will be done, Princess." I reply.

"Quit calling me princess." She replied without any anger. She turned to the man that accompanied her here.

"Good soldier, I thank you for escorting me back to Hattusa. My sister and I owe our lives to you. Please, might I have your name?" She asked.

"I am known as User Ramses. Chief Commander of the Egyptian army of the Nile." He said, bowing slightly.

Her face registered some surprise. "User Ramses…It is an honor to make your acquaintance." She said, some awe in her voice. Who was this man. She quickly turned to Ilbani.

"Ilbani…can you help me get ready for the meeting with His Majesty?" She asked, softness in her voice I had yet to ever hear. I turn to my task, letting them have their alone time as they walked away.

Ilbani's POV

She was strong, until we were out of sight. The moment we were out of sight, she collapsed into me. She was shaking and wheezing in pain. I picked her up and carried her to my room, placing her on the bed, I carefully peeled away her dress, my brow furrowing at the extent of her injuries. Her arms were riddled with cuts, the arrow wound on her shoulder was gaping, but she still didn't cry. She watched me with despondent eyes as I tended to her wounds.

"I missed you." She suddenly said, running a hand through my hair.

"I missed you." I said, holding her hand. It was warm, she was warm, and she was here. I held her hand up to my lips, savoring the heat of it on my lips. I missed her.

I was shocked when she suddenly stood up.

"I have to see to the issue with Egypt. I know we will have to fix this, we did wrongly accuse them of murder after all." And like that she was out the door. I went after her, hoping to stop her, but she had turned the corner and was gone.

"Why can't you just ask for help?" I whisper out loud, setting out to find her.

Yuki's POV

I headed toward the meeting hall, where all of the Egyptians were probably arguing with Prince Kail. I walked in to see I was right, Prince Kail was trying to pacify the Egyptian. Everything fell to silence as I walked in.

"Yuki? Shouldn't you be resting? Have you already seen the surgeon?" Prince Kail asked. The King was there as well, looking stunned to see me walking.

"I am fine, I thank you very much for your concern. I came by to see if I could be of any assistance." I say, walking up to meet Prince Kail. The crowd had lost interest, going back to their argument.

" You Hittite dogs accused us of murder! Do you think something like that could be ignored? You should have thought of the political disaster it would have created before you made such a big accusation!" The ambassador of Egypt cried out angrily. The King seemed at a loss for words. It is hard to admit fault, especially if you are a King.

I stepped forward, " Sir Hohemreb, if I remember correctly, if I may?"

Eyes turned to me, Prince Kail looked at me with wonder and worry. I continued on:

"I understand your anger, being accused…especially incorrectly, it was a mistake on our part. But please, I implore you to see things from His Majesty's, nay, a father's point of view, a son suddenly disappearing without a trace. Grief, anger and sadness, His Majesty was thinking as a father. A loving father who wanted to find out what happened to his son. A father who acted out of love for his son. I ask all of you not as soldiers, but as human beings, to think of your own sons, your loved ones, and imagine how you would react in such a situation, if your emotion would take a front seat to your political thought." I finish my tirade. The silence was smothering. Had I overstepped my position? Said something out of turn?

"I see. Your Majesty, You have a gifted speaker. She has proven herself twice today, and I think I see her point. This will not be swept under the bridge completely…but I think negotiations can be made. Say…Let the Egyptian soldiers stay for the time being to rest and provide us the provisions for our trek back?" Hohemreb inquired.

"Yes, I could not ask for a better offer." The King said then turned to me, " And yes, I am well aware I have an incredibly talented tactician. And I regret not taking her initial advice." I smiled sadly. The Egyptians were beginning to leave and Prince Kail had gone to see Yuri. And then it was just me in the room. I felt woozy again, then I was falling, the ground was getting closer and closer. I closed my eyes and wited for the impact that never came. I looked up to see Ilbani, carrying me back to our room.

"Why?" He asked, pain in his voice.

"Why what?" I asked drearily.

"Why couldn't you just ask for help? Why can't you rest? What's so bad about it? Why are you fighting so hard not to cry?" It all spilled from his mouth in a jumble. He placed me in the bed. Before he moved away, I clung to his robe, holding him to me. He relented and lay down with me, holding me tightly.

"I failed." I muttered into his chest. All of the emotion beginning to bubble inside of me, threatening to spill out the guilt overtaking me.

"You didn't fail." He said holding me close, careful of my wounds.

"I failed! Don't you see? I was supposed to protect him! That's the only reason I went! I said I would see him to Egypt! Now he's…he's gone! I should have fought harder when the proposal first came here. I shouldn't have put Yuri in danger! I failed!" I was shouting now, the tears were beginning to spill over; I quickly wiped my eyes before they could escape.

Ilbani grabbed my wrists, looking me right in the eye. "It's not a weakness to cry. It is not a weakness to feel sad. It's ok." He said to me. I couldn't stop my tears anymore. I cried, I cried for everything. I cried, I cried for Yuri's family, I cried for the dreams I lost in Japan, I cried for myself, for Prince Zannanza. I couldn't stop the tears anymore; they just kept coming. Through it all, Ilbani kept his arms around me, plastering me against his body, spreading his comforting heat as I sobbed, murmuring soothing things in my ear. I cried and cried until I finally fell asleep in his arms.

Yuri's POV

My wounds were not bad, thanks to Yuki and Ramses, but it had been days and Yuki has not woken up. I was still broken up over Prince Zannanza's death. But I am thankful that Yuki had made it back with me safely. Prince Zannanza…Nakia had gotten away with Zannanza's murder. The thought got my blood boiling.

"Princess Yuri, please come see Princess Yuki, she is thrashing and screaming!" Kikkuri came to me in a rush. I hurried over to Yuki's room to see her being restrained by Ilbani who was trying to calm her down. Yuki was kicking, lashing and screaming incoherently. I rushed to her side; I could make out some of what she was saying.

"Mom…Stop crying please. I'm sorry…. sorry. Don't want…I…mom…" She was muttering.

I leaned in close to her ear, "She's not here, Yuki, She's not here. I'm here. It's me, Yuri. It's me, remember?" She calmed down a bit, her screams dropping down to whimpers.

"What was that? Does she miss her mother?" Ilbani asked, Prince Kail walked in to see what the commotion was.

"It's understandable, she has not spoken of her family in Japan this entire time." Prince Kail said.

"I don't think she misses her family…" I said sadly.

Before anyone could respond, Yuki suddenly sat up, looking straight ahead in terror.

"Mom…I'm so sorry. I…" The sadness in her eyes was much to familiar. I looked at her, broken and scared in the bed, she looked like when I first found her, huddled in a bush in the snow.

"Yuki, wake up. It's Yuri. Remember?"

"Yuri…mom? Where?" She sounded lost.

"She's not here, Kii-Chan." I say using her childhood nickname.

"Oh. Right. That's right." She mumbled, beginning to wake up, the glassy look in her eyes and was replaced by a drowsy look. But she was still waking up; the guards she usually kept up were down.

Ilbani touched her arm. "Do you miss your mother? The one in Japan?" He asked.

She flinched and drew back.

"Mother…she…hated me…didn't want me…" She said, looking absent again, lost in memories.

"That can't be right, how can she hate her own child?" Prince Kail said soothingly, I put a hand on his arm, stopping him. But it was too late. Her eyes clouded and I could see the memories flashing behind her eyes.

"She hated me because…I…I ruined her love." She said quietly.

"Yuki. Go back to bed." I said, gently pushing her down on the bed, she gladly obliged, sinking into sleep.

"What was that?" Prince Kail asked quietly.

I thought a moment, would Yuki be upset if I shared her story? I know her story would never leave her lips of her own free will. But, she needed someone to support her. I looked at Ilbani, who had a passive face on, but his eyes held depthless concern. I couldn't support her anymore, she was growing up, Would Ilbani be able to do it? Could he see beyond her strong mask? Yes. Yes he could, I decided right then and there.

"Yuki's parents…well her mother was deeply in love with her father. Her father was a rich man, with a wife of his own, but often went to visit Yuki's mother. For a while, it was fine. Yuki's mother loved her father so much, that she didn't mind being a mistress; they kept it away from the eye of the public, after all her father had a reputation to keep. But, suddenly, Yuki's mother got pregnant with Yuki and it all changed. Her father could not have the public knowing he had been having an affair on his loving wife with a lowly woman. So her father tried to cut ties with her mother. Her mother was distraught, she became desperate, and she threatened to tell the public about Yuki. For years she used Yuki as a bargaining tool to bring her father to visit. For years it worked. But all they did was fight in front of her. But it was enough to keep Yuki's mother sane. One day, Yuki's father had had enough. He completely cut ties, acknowledging Yuki as his bastard child. Shaming Yuki and her mother. It was too much For Yuki's mother. Her mother…fell into herself. She was like a ghost, drifting through life. Yuki was ignored. She was of no more use to her mother. Her mother didn't acknowledge her, didn't speak to her at all. Yuki had always blamed herself for her mother's misery, that if she hadn't been born, perhaps her father and mother could have had some happiness. Yuki's definition of love was skewered. The "love" her father had for her mother was easily cast aside, the "love" her mother had for her father had crippled her, and the "love" that her mother had for Yuki…to Yuki, it didn't exist."

"Is that why she keeps everyone at arms length? She is afraid?" Ilbani asked forlornly.

" She is afraid that if she loves too deeply…she will end up like her mother: broken." I say sadly, looking at her again. She had grown in many ways since arriving here, but there was a lot more room for growth. Even if she put on a brave face, I could still see that lonely little girl. Someone has to go beyond her brave face. Someone has to stand next to that little girl, hold her hand and say, "It's ok. You aren't alone."

Yuki's POV

Dark. It was dark. I sat in the corner of the room; mom was just sitting on the couch again. Rocking back and forth. A little girl came into the picture. The girl looked like she was around five years old, and had long black hair and big, innocent eyes. It was me. I realize. The girl tried to urge some cereal into her mother's hand.

"Mommy, I made cereals. Please eat. Mommy…" she cried piteously. The woman did not respond, just kept staring straight ahead.

Another scene began to play out. The girl looked younger. There was a man in the picture now. The mother was gripping the girl's arm painfully.

"She is yours! You can't just leave me like this! Leave her! I'll blab. Don't challenge me damn it! I'll tell your pretty little wife all about it! About her!" The woman screeched, yanking the child's arm roughly. She cried out in pain, but neither of them looked at her.

"Go ahead! You think I care anymore? You've been blackmailing me for years! So Go! Do it! Tell the entire world about that bastard child. Do whatever you want. I'm done with you." The man's voice boomed, making me flinch. The woman collapsed as the man stormed out. The child was sitting on the floor dejectedly.

"No. No more." I moaned in my head. I know my past, stop! I don't want to see anymore! But another passage was playing out. The child looked about ten now, the big innocent eyes were gone. Now they were sad and lonely. The woman had a bottle in her hand and was screaming incoherently.

"…Fault…its all your fault! Why were you born? If it wasn't for you…if it wasn't for you…Aki might have…" She dissolved in sobs. The girl held herself tightly and tucked herself in the corner of the room.

"Sorry. Sorry…I'm sorry." She chanted, hugging herself and rocking gently.

"Please. Please stop." I moan. My voice fell flat. I saw that girl, me, get home from school. I saw her sweep past her mother who was sitting at the table, staring into space. I saw her march right up to her room and open her books. "Study. Study." She chanted in her head. "Study hard and I can escape this place. I can go away, I can find a better in life. If I study hard enough…I can escape."

"Enough!" I cry into the darkness. Then I saw snow. Snow blanketing a playground. That same child, huddling in the bushes of a park, shivering with cold. Suddenly, another child came into view. A young girl with fluffy black hair and a puffy winter coat crouched beside the bush.

"Hey. You know, it's no fun to play alone in the snow." She said offering her hand. The girl in the bushes didn't take it. She only stared forlornly at the newcomer. Her quiet didn't faze the other girl though.

"My name is Yuri! What's yours?" She bubbled.

"…Yuki…" A voice breathed out.

"Yuki, huh? No wonder you like the snow so much, you're even named after it! Hey Yuki, do you have any sisters? I have one older one, and my mum is having another!" She giggled happily.

The other girl smiled, Yuri's laughter had always been infectious. "No. I don't."

"Well then, you can be my sister starting today!" Yuri laughed, taking off her coat and draping it over the girl's shoulders.

"That's right. Yuri has always been there. Always. She was the only one beside me…" That didn't sound right anymore. I looked; I was looking at myself now, exactly how I was. In the clothes of Hattusa and my hair cropped short. Yuri was standing beside me, like it's always been. But…I wasn't just her anymore. I watched as slowly, people began to come into focus. Prince Kail, Prince Zannanza, Ryui, Shala , Hadi, Kikkuri, Rusafa, Kash…Ilbani. When had they all crept into my heart? Behind me, I saw my mother's figure. Should I? Can I love them? What if I end up like her? What if I break? I suddenly shook my head. I won't break. I'm not like her, even if my love goes awry… I will get back up. I will not fall into myself like she has. I'm stronger then that. I turn my back on my mother and walk toward the ones I love.

I opened my eyes and saw Yuri, looking worriedly at me. I turned my head and saw Ilbani and Prince Kail as well.

"Well good morning." I say groggily, trying to get up, only to have a stabbing pain in my shoulder. Ah. That's right. I was hit. Ilbani pushed me back down onto the bed; Yuri and Prince Kail excused themselves, slipping out of the room.

"You were talking in your sleep. About your mother." Ilbani whispered, putting a wet cloth on my forehead.

"Oh?" I sigh at the coolness of the cloth.

"Yuri…Yuri told us everything." Ilbani continued quietly. "Why did you keep it such a secret?" He asked.

"I wasn't keeping a secret. I just don't want to remember." I say softly. He took my hand in his again, he leaned in, and then his lips were on mine, soft warm. My first kiss. His lips moved against mine tenderly, my hand reached up to cup his face. When he pulled back, I couldn't help but feel lost.

"I think I love you." The words caught me off guard. He stared into my eyes in all seriousness. Did I love him too? I think I did.

I opened my mouth, but the words wouldn't come out. I struggled to push the words out, but…why? Why can't I say it? He seemed to read my struggle. And kissed me again.

"It's ok. You don't have to say it yet. I just wanted you to know. You are loved."

Yuki's past is finally revealed, and Ilbani finally vocalizes his feelings! I know I altered the story a bit, switching Yuki and Yuri around for the arrow injury scene...but hopefully it didnt bother you guys too much!

Thank's for reading!

~Eternally Snowy