Thank you all again for the feedback! A few things before you start reading:
1) It took me more time than I thought to finish and post this part; I let you know that your wait is being rewarded with the longest chapter (more than 3000 words, yay!).
2) I would really appreciate your comments on this chapter: I'm in doubts about a few scenes, knowing what you think would really help.
3) I ask you to be patient about Part 5: it will surely take more than a week to be up. I still don't know if it's going to be the final chapter; there might be a short separated epilogue.
4) Part 4 is rated M; you've been warned!
Enjoy your reading!
The interview
Part 4
The morning after, Rachel wakes up remembering the dream that has escorted her for the last minutes of sleep. She can feel her cheeks getting hot from the lingering image of Quinn – dressed in a cheerleader uniform – taking her in a bathroom of McKinley.
Rachel is not totally surprised by the nature of her dream: the evening before she had been excited because of Quinn and her lustful looks after all.
Rachel forces the image away and starts her morning routine: she takes a shower, dresses herself and gets breakfast ready.
Soon Finn and Andrew are awake and gone, while Rachel keeps going with her housewife duties.
When her eyes find the bouquet of tulips that Quinn gave her, thoughts of the girl fill Rachel's mind again.
Rachel replays her dream: she sees her dream self sat on the bathroom counter, clinging tightly to Quinn who is kissing her neck and pleasuring her with her fingers, she hears her dream self moaning and asking Quinn for more, she feels…
Rachel feels arousal course through her body; it's not the rush of excitement she felt the day before, it's a slow burning sensation that grows stronger as she keeps replaying her dream. It's something she hasn't felt for long.
After the interview Rachel has spent days fantasizing about being Quinn's girlfriend – both in her high school years and today – but she hasn't thought once about the sexual aspect of that dreamt relationship. She was never in love with Quinn and she never felt attraction for her; but now all she can see is Quinn – someone who would really cherish her and always put her first – pleasuring her.
Scenes of her dream combine with newfound fantasies and Rachel becomes aware of the wetness between her legs. She can't believe the intensity of her desire: after years of numbness her body is reacting with excitement at the idea of sex. Sex with a woman. Sex with Quinn.
Rachel doesn't take time to reflect; she wants to thrive in the excitement she is feeling and so she calls Quinn.
The actress replies at the third ring. "Hello Rachel!"
"Hi Quinn! I know it's short notice but I wanted to ask if you'd like to spend some time with me this morning," Rachel says in a breath.
Quinn's answer is immediate, "I'll come in half an hour. See you soon."
As she waits for Quinn, Rachel changes into a black lacy thong and a short polka dot dress. She then sits on the couch, staring at the wall clock over the tv and trying to fight off the need to touch herself.
Later, as she welcomes Quinn in her home, Rachel notices her guest's eyes indiscreetly focusing on her exposed legs. It's all she needs to step in front of Quinn and kiss her hard.
Rachel pours her desperation into the thrilling contact of their lips. She tries to convey her need to feel something, to be pleasured and to be in the arms of someone who can really treasure her.
Quinn responds to the kiss but eventually distances herself. "Rachel, what are you doing?" She asks; there's no judgement or annoyance in her question: Quinn just wants to hear the reason of her actions.
"Please. Please, I know there's still a part of you that wants me…and I need this. I need you!"
Rachel watches through moist eyes as Quinn decides what to do. It's with joyous relief that she welcomes Quinn's lips against hers.
Kissing Quinn feels amazing and surreal and makes Rachel's arousal stronger than ever.
When hands start roaming with purpose, Rachel stops and says, "Let's take it upstairs!"
"I won't take you in the bed you share with your husband," Quinn affirms resolutely.
It's a very lucid statement that makes Rachel hesitate; it's just a second. "We can use the guestroom…"
-x-
It's strange for Rachel to feel her naked body pressed against a female one. There are soft skin and curves, strands of hair caressing her own skin and the sweet scent of vanilla bodywash. There are also tender kisses and gentle hands. It's strange and wonderful.
.
When Quinn's fingers enter her slowly, it's to add fuel to the need that is running in her body. When they start moving in and out of her, Rachel feels like flames might really blaze inside of her.
.
Soon her back is arching in pleasure and a powerful orgasm is washing over her. The waves of ecstasy extinguish the fire in her body.
.
When a few minutes later Rachel lowers her right hand to pleasure her, Quinn stops her.
"This is about you."
"But-"
Quinn interrupts her placing a finger on her lips. "If you want to give me something, let me taste you."
The seductive words – said in a rasping whisper – feel like actual licks at her core. "Okay."
Quinn smiles before moving down her body. Rachel is sure, she won't ever see anything more erotic than Quinn looking at her with her amber eyes burning with desire from between her legs.
.
Rachel's second orgasm hits her hard and she screams, gripping the sheets tightly.
.
When Quinn has made her way back to her lips, Rachel has regained her breathing and completely relaxed. Rachel has never felt as satisfied as in that moment.
-x-
"How was kissing David Eliot?" Rachel asks, breaking the comfortable silence that they have settled into in their afterglow.
"He is not a bad kisser," Quinn concedes to her movie co-star.
"Do you still talk to him?"
"Not really. Sometimes we see each other at events and we catch up, but we aren't friends."
For the following minutes Rachel keeps asking questions about Quinn's past and present castmates and about the actors that Quinn has met.
It's trivial talk and they're both fine with it. Rachel knows that discussing now Quinn's past feelings for her will bring a heaviness to their actions that is needed to be avoided.
It's around midday when Quinn breaks the hold she has of Rachel's waist and announces, "I should go. I promised my mother I would be back for lunch!"
"Okay."
Quinn is quick to redress herself and then stands at the feet of the bed. Rachel notices the way Quinn looks at her in that moment: it's intense and appreciating. Rachel feels like Quinn is taking a mental picture of her.
When their eyes meet, Quinn lowers her gaze.
"I really need to go!" She says but she doesn't move.
And so Rachel stands up from the bed, letting Quinn take in her naked body. She steps in front of her, puts her hand at the base of Quinn's neck and kisses her cheek.
"I'll call you."
Quinn nods, runs her eyes on Rachel's form a last time and then leaves.
-x-
Left alone, Rachel redresses herself, opens the window and changes the sheets. She then eats something, welcomes her student for her singing lessons and when it's time she picks up Andrew from kindergarten.
It's a Tuesday like every other if not for the feeling of Quinn's fingers still inside of her.
That evening, after having spent her morning in the arms of another, Rachel fears Finn's return. But when he comes home, Rachel finds out that she can look at him in the eyes without feeling remorse.
Rachel has cheated on her husband and she doesn't feel the least guilty about it. She really doesn't love Finn anymore.
-x-
On Wednesday Rachel calls Quinn as soon as Finn and Andrew have left. Quinn takes less time than the previous morning to come to her.
One hour later Rachel is laying spent on top of Quinn, who is gently stroking her arm.
"Can you sing something for me?" Quinn asks shyly. Rachel searches her eyes. "I miss your voice!"
"Any request?"
"You choose."
Rachel lays her head on Quinn's chest and lets the strong heartbeat in her ear offer her the rhythm for her singing.
When she had finished, Rachel lifts herself up on her elbow and looks down at Quinn who is smiling softly.
The actress tucks a strand of hair behind Rachel's ear. "Thank you. I've always loved hearing you sing."
"You know, sometimes I find myself watching the video of you singing Don't Rain on My Parade at Sectionals," she confesses. "It gives me chills every time."
Rachel blushes at the admission. She can't believe that Quinn might occasionally take time to watch that old performance because she misses her voice. In almost seven years of marriage, Finn hasn't asked her once to sing something for him.
And so, filled with appreciation, Rachel leans down and kisses Quinn sweetly. It's the first kiss that is not a prelude to sex or shared in the heat of passion; it feels right.
When she pulls way, Quinn smiles brightly at her and says, "Well, I do love hearing you sing but maybe these days I prefer hearing you moan and scream in pleasure!"
Rachel chuckles, endeared by the playful side of Quinn.
-x-
The third morning Quinn lets Rachel pleasure her.
Rachel slips a finger inside of Quinn and wonders at the warm and tight sensation. Being inside of another woman is a strange feeling but it's also thrilling and heady.
Rachel twists her finger and caresses Quinn's walls in fascination.
"Rachel." It's a whiny moan that leaves Quinn's throat and Rachel finally sets a rhythm to her motions, adding a second finger a moment later.
When Quinn arches her body and comes in a silent scream, Rachel is amazed by the girl's beauty: in her orgasmic bliss Quinn looks impossibly beautiful.
Rachel waits for Quinn to open her eyes; when she does, the look in them leaves Rachel breathless. Love is the emotion so clear in her amber eyes.
Rachel forces herself to ignore it.
-x-
The whole week Rachel spends her morning with Quinn.
Quinn's kisses, touches, looks and words make her feel more cherished, appreciated and beautiful than ever.
Rachel can feel again the joy and the passion that were in her heart when she was a teenager; she rediscovers emotions that were forgotten for long.
It's perfect if not for the fact that she is using Quinn – someone who is in love with her – to feel so good. Quinn is giving her everything and more, but she is only offering heartbreak in return. Rachel is taunting Quinn with mornings spent as if they were in a relationship, only to go back to be Finn's wife for the rest of the day. Rachel is selfishly asking Quinn to love her, knowing that she doesn't love her back.
Rachel feels guilty but she just can't stop; she needs Quinn.
-x-
On Monday, after two days spent without seeing each other (Rachel's mornings were spent playing with Andrew at the park), Quinn stops Rachel's lips from kissing hers as she enters her home.
"Did you let Finn be with you?" She asks.
"What?"
"Did you let Finn be with you?" Quinn repeats.
It's a preposterous question of a jealous lover: Rachel should be affronted by it. But the trace of possessiveness behind Quinn's words excites her greatly, as does the bruising kiss that follows her negative nod.
When they have climbed the stairs and got into the guestroom, they hastily undress each other. Rachel is shocked to discover that Quinn's wearing a strap-on.
"I thought we could try something different," Quinn explains embarrassed. "I can take it off if you're not okay with it."
"No, I…Let's do it!" Rachel can't deny she wants it.
Quinn nods and pushes her on the bed.
.
When the toy enters her, Rachel shivers from the coldness of it. Quinn waits for her nod before starting moving.
.
Quinn's thrusts are deep and fast and deliberate and soon Rachel is coming.
.
When Rachel has come down from her high, Quinn pulls out of her and lies on the bed next to her. Rachel takes only one beat to climb on top of Quinn and slip the dildo inside herself.
.
Rachel rides it slowly, with big circular motions, intending to put on a show for the woman beneath her.
She sees the enjoyment, the hunger and the desperation in Quinn's eyes and soon she finds herself on her back again.
"Sorry, I just couldn't…" Quinn says before gripping her hips tight and thrusting inside of her harder and more deeply than before.
.
"Quinnnnn…" Rachel comes screaming the actress's name; it's the first time that happens and Quinn must have realized it because she doesn't stop her movements until Rachel's orgasm blends into another and she's screaming the woman's name again.
.
As Rachel tries to regain her breathing, Quinn pulls out of her, takes off the strap-on and moves to hold her. The sexual gratification and the contentment that comes from being in Quinn's arms make her slowly doze off.
.
When Rachel wakes up, she is tangled in her sheets and cuddling with Quinn.
"God, I'm sorry. I didn't intend to fall asleep," she says looking into Quinn's warm eyes.
"It's okay, Rachel!"
"But I didn't even…I mean, you didn't get to come…" Rachel mumbles embarrassed.
"That's okay, too!" Quinn assures and gently pecks Rachel's lips.
"I could do it now, if you want…"
"Rach, it's already two o'clock and I really got to go."
"Two? Oh God, I have a lesson in an hour!" Rachel shrieks as she stands up.
Quinn chuckles and stands up too. Rachel wraps herself in a robe and waits for Quinn to redress herself.
"What about the strap-on?" She asks as she her eyes fall on the discarded item.
Quinn looks at her while tying up her shoes. "You can keep it. Maybe we can also use it again soon!"
The actress then moves in front of her and kisses her on the cheek.
"I'll see you tomorrow morning?"
Rachel nods and Quinn leaves the room.
-x-
It's the second Wednesday spent in the arms of each other when Quinn remarks, "You're not asking about our past, about my love confession…"
Rachel stares for a long moment into Quinn's eyes: in them, there's the look of love that she has become familiar with; she doesn't need to know anything else.
"You know, when I called you the day after the interview I had so many questions I wanted answers for. But this week I understood that there's no need to ruminate on our past," Rachel explains. "It doesn't matter anymore. I'm just happy that someone as amazing as you loved me then and loves me now!"
Quinn looks alarmed at her last words.
"Did you really think I haven't notice you're still in love with me?"
"I…I just didn't want you to know it. It complicates things."
It does. And Rachel feels awful having admitted that she knew about Quinn's feelings but having done anything to stop their liaison.
She wants to apologize but instead she reveals her perplexities about Quinn's sentiments, "Quinn, I need you to ask yourself this: are you in love with me or with the ghost of my high school self?"
Quinn furrows her brows, confused.
"I'm not the ambitious and passionate girl you fell in love with anymore. I'm a bored housewife who is taking advantage of your love for me to have a little excitement back in my life," Rachel painfully admits. "So ask yourself that question and don't tell me the answer. I'm not sure I want to hear it."
Rachel stands up from the bed then and dresses herself. "I think you should go."
Quinn silently complies.
-x-
On Thursday morning Rachel spends two hours waiting for Quinn to knock on the backdoor, but Quinn never does.
The conversation of the day before has obviously affected them. Acknowledging their different stands in their affair has corrupted its being.
But if Rachel has made Quinn realize that she is just clinging to past feelings for her, then Rachel is happy: she has finally done something right towards the girl.
She only prays that Quinn might come over the following day since it's the last that Quinn will spend in Lima.
-x-
Rachel's prays are answered: less than 24 hours later she finds herself opening the door for Quinn.
"I don't want to go back to LA without having taken my last chance to be with you," Quinn says before capturing her lips between her own.
.
That morning Rachel feels like a goddess: Quinn worships her body and kisses every inch of it.
.
Their actions lack the urge, the burning passion, and the desperation of their different times together; it's slow and gentle and when they come they do it together.
.
As they lay embraced afterwards, Rachel says the one thing that she wants Quinn to know before she leaves, "During the interview you said you were sorry that you didn't try harder to make me follow my dreams. You really don't have to feel guilty about it. You did try, I wasn't listening."
"It's not too late to try and follow them, you know?" Quinn offers.
"Oh, come on. I'm almost 25. And I haven't attended any performing art school. I would be eaten alive by younger and prettier girls."
"I could talk to my agent, he knows someone who is a theatre director. You could-"
"Quinn, stop! I chose this life. I realized a little too late it was not what I wanted."
Rachel has buried her dreams of a Broadway career long before, she won't dig them out for having them destroyed because Quinn deludes her into thinking there is still a chance.
"Why are you still with him?" Quinn asks then.
"Finn is a good man. He would be devastated if I left him. And I have to think about Andrew…"
"You're miserable, Rachel. You've lost the ambition to become what you've always wanted to be, okay. But at least have some respect for yourself," Quinn fires back angrily. "Leave Finn, find someone you could really love and who makes you feel loved and happy. Are you really telling me that you could live like this for the rest of your life?"
Quinn has always tried to make her see reason, she has always failed.
"I won't leave Finn."
Rachel doesn't have the courage. She doesn't want people to know that she has failed and that their happy family image was only a sham. She is not ready to change her life in a second, to take a chance and start over as a divorced mom with a meagre job. And ultimately Rachel is afraid that her life would not improve without Finn, that she won't find anything better.
"I can't leave him," she asserts with finality.
Quinn just shakes her head, takes her clothes and leaves the room.