Chapter 13

"Psst. James, do you see this?" Sirius whispered to his friend. He was studying the map curiously.

They were in the astronomy tower, carefully jinxing the telescope to make it shriek every time someone put an eye to it.

James finished what he was doing and peered over the map. "What is Olivia doing wandering about?"

Remus and Peter pricked their heads up.

"Has she lost her mind?" Peter whispered.

Sirius tapped the map, "She's coming up this way." He motioned for James to grab his cloak and the four of them disappeared under it, scooting towards the door.

Olivia walked through the door carefully; peering around to make sure no one was about. She made her way to a far windowsill and sat down, looking out into the night.

The boys stood completely still, not entirely sure what they should do. They watched as she opened a crumpled letter and stared at it. She balled it in her fist and leaned her head back against the wall behind her.

"Bloody hell." She whispered to the night.

Peter sneezed.

Olivia whirled to her feet and pointed her wand in their direction, her other hand placed angrily on her hip.

"Alright, come on then." She demanded.

James shoved Sirius out of the cloak. He turned on the spot, confused, as he heard three pairs of feet dash out of the room. Sirius glared after them as Olivia lowered her wand.

"I should have known it was you lot." Olivia said, crossing her arms.

"Traitors." He mumbled.

"What are you doing up here?" She asked, sitting back down on her ledge.

"I should ask you the same thing." He countered.

Olivia shrugged. "I wanted to be alone."

Sirius nodded. "We jinxed the telescope." He said with a smile. He walked over to her and sat down on the sill with her. "You look upset."

She pulled out her crumpled letter and handed it to him. He read it over and raised his eyebrows.

"So it's true then? He's really starting an alliance?" He whispered.

Olivia shrugged. "I still don't believe it. What could have possibly happened to make him start building an army now? What is he to gain?"

Sirius frowned. "He's a very powerful wizard Olivia, this could be war."

Olivia sighed. "I won't pretend like I know anything about politics, but what I do know is that we just keep getting more and more similar."

Sirius laughed. "Seems that way. So you're out casting yourself from your family?"

"They don't really leave me a choice do they? If there is going to be a war, I want to be on the winning side. Evil never wins." She said with a sad smile.

Sirius put an arm around her shoulder. "It'll be alright. It's not so bad, having no family. No one to tell you what to do; no one to tell you where to be or who to be." His face darkened.

Olivia put her hand in his and looked into his face. "You have a family Sirius; your friends are the only family you'll ever need." She looked away, suddenly feeling completely empty inside.

Sirius took his arm off her shoulder and cupped her chin gently, pulling her back to him. He leaned into her and kissed her gently.

A bubble of warmth spread inside her, filling the void of her loneliness. She yielded to him, completely abandoning all thought.

He pulled away and looked at her steadily.

"What am I supposed to do?" She asked, her eyes glossy.

"Don't think about it, that's what I do." Sirius said quietly.

"That doesn't sound healthy." Olivia frowned.

Sirius shrugged. "I manage."

Olivia's eyes narrowed. "Is that why you feel the need to conquest every female you encounter?"

Sirius shrugged. "It never means anything-" He could have punched himself. Why would he say that to her? His wide eyes darted to hers. "Wait that's not what I meant!"

Olivia pursed her lips. "So this-"She made a disgusted noise. "I should have known." She stood up and turned to leave.

"Olivia that's not what this is!" He said, bolting after her. He grabbed her hand and twisted her body to face him. "I wasn't using this situation to gain anything Olivia, we were just talking."

Olivia's cheeks flushed. "How am I supposed to believe that? I know about the bet Sirius, do you think I'm stupid?"

"I know that you know; you just didn't know that I knew that you knew that I knew. I- That's not – Oh bloody hell. "He sighed as her eyes widened.

Olivia glared at him.

"Look it was a stupid idea." Sirius muttered, trying to defend himself.

"You're damn right it was." She said angrily. "Every time I trust you, even just a little, you manage to ruin it."

"Every time I do something nice for you, you ruin it!" He countered.

"You're an idiot." She snapped.

"You're impossible to deal with!" He shot back. Now he was angry, this was a two way street, after all. He brushed past her; all he could think about was getting away from this mess he had created.

Olivia's cheeks were flushed; her eyes were glowing with anger. "You're afraid to love me." She shouted.

Sirius turned back to her and glared. "Am I? Or are you just too afraid to admit that you're already in love with me?"

Olivia felt like she was plunged into cold water. "I can't love you Sirius, you think love is temporary. You stick around as long as you're satisfied, which from what I can tell, isn't for long. I'm not a stupid girl who fancies herself the one who can tame your habits. I have more respect for myself than that."

Sirius stared at her angrily. "So you think that I can't change?"

"You could if you wanted to, but I can see it in your eyes Sirius. Why give up a good thing?" Olivia set her shoulders, and walked passed him, trying everything she could to hold back her bitter tears.

Lily found Olivia the next morning, sitting on the bathroom floor, knees to her chest.

"Olivia?" She asked cautiously.

She lifted her head and Lily gasped. Her eyes were swollen and red, her face splotched and her hair stood out in odd places in a tangled mess.

"You look dreadful." Lily said, still in shock. She had never seen Olivia so disheveled.

Olivia sniffed pathetically.

"What in Merlin's name happened? What's wrong?" Lily asked, as she sat down next to her friend, comfortingly laying a hand on her.

Olivia rested her head on the wall behind her; her lips trembled again as if she were holding back more tears.

"I'm in love with him. That's what's wrong." She wailed.