This wasn't the first time Sarah had been to school without a parent. She remembered it was hard after losing her father to move on. With Jenny still around though, it seemed easier. When she went home, she still had a parent around, so things could feel half-normal.
Now that both her parents were gone, everything felt upside-down. She was lucky that she had Hayley and Kelly who understood her position very well. Having just lost their mother, they knew all about the anxiety and the stares and the pitiful looks. Fortunately for Sarah, they were removed enough from their own loss that they could be helpful in helping her conquer all that. Unfortunately, even with their help, and even with the support of her friends, Sarah still felt lonely. Her focus was off in math, her passion for science was gone and English had been a complete disaster. As Sarah put her books back in her locker and tried to prepare herself for lunch, she couldn't help but feel like she would never get the hang of living her life again.
"I've talked with Mrs. Finch," Serena said as she approached the pink Ranger. It was completely expected for Sarah to need time to readjust to school, but this wasn't the first time she had returned after a tragedy. While there was time needed to recover and while her grades always slipped a little, this first day had been such a painful disaster that it had everyone concerned. "She's assured me that for the week, it'll just be busy work. Pop quizzes and that kind of stuff aren't going to be marked. We'll see how it goes next week."
"Maybe dropping out would be best," Sarah muttered. "I can get a job selling Fro-Yo or something…"
"It hasn't been that bad…" Serena said, but Sarah glared up at her insultingly. Serena sighed. "Okay, today was a disaster…"
"A train wreck."
"But no one expected you to do well," Serena shrugged. "I mean, we all knew this was going to take time."
"I forgot how to read and write, and I bounced back faster than this."
"Yeah, because we could work without those skills," Serena said.
"Being orphaned doesn't change how good I am in math and yet, somehow, I can barely do addition without breaking down in tears. And don't even get me started on science…"
"It's just an adjustment."
"But I hate it!" Sarah shouted and slammed her locker shut. If her voice hadn't been loud enough to draw attention, the crash of her locker door closing sure was. "At least all that other crap, when it happened, I could count on school. Now I barely fit in!"
"Sarah…"
"And after a shitty day, I get to go home, where I'll be reminded that my parents, both my parents, are dead! I'm never going to see them again. I'm never going to have that family again."
"It's hard, I know…"
"You don't know!" Sarah shouted. "You have no idea because you've never lost a parent."
"Sarah…"
"Just… leave me alone," Sarah said as she stormed off. Serena thought about following her, but right now she knew Sarah was angry and she had chosen to take that anger out on her. Seeing Serena following her down the hall would likely just infuriate her more.
"I take it she's had a rough morning?" Mick asked as he came up behind Serena. He hadn't seen Sarah at all yet at school but knew she had come back. He figured now that it was lunch, he would take this time to see how the day went. He would be her last teacher of the day and while he knew everything that was going on because he was her Ranger mentor, he still needed the hourly or so update as her teacher.
"She's flunking basic math," Serena said and took out from her pocket the worksheet that she and Sarah had done that morning. "I mean, I know it's going to be rough going but Sarah would never perform this badly on her worst day."
"It is a lot to get used to," Mick told her. "When I was taken from my parents, I know I had a lot of adjusting to do. My worst days now would have been my absolute best days on Galvanax' ship, even after meeting Brody and RedBot."
"You lost your parents?"
"I was taken," Mick nodded his head. "Kidnapped, I guess, and taken galaxies away from my home. I still haven't been back, and it's been over twenty years now."
"That's rough," Serena said.
"There were weeks I thought about ending it," Mick said, then turned to Serena, "My life, I mean."
"I got that," Serena nodded, but felt something bubble inside her stomach. Sarah hadn't given her the impression she was considering suicide but now that Mick had mentioned it, she couldn't help but worry. Things would get worse for Sarah before they got better. It was just the way of life. Now Serena had to worry that Sarah might consider something drastic if life didn't give her a bit of a break.
"I didn't because I was a slave," Mick said. "We were often supervised or left with nothing, so there weren't too many opportunities for me to try something. Then I met Brody and… I couldn't leave him alone."
"I know," Serena said, then turned to Mick. "Maybe you should talk to her. She's kind of pissed at me. I think she just needs to blame me for today, so she might listen to you."
"I could give it a shot," Mick nodded. "Do you know where she went?"
"Not sure, but she was wearing her communicator."
-Ninja-Steel-
Sarah wasn't sure where to go after she left school. As much as she loved Summer Cove, and while she did consider it to be her home, she was still new to the city. Her Ranger training and school work kept her rather busy and so she didn't get many chances to see the sights. All she knew that was special about Summer Cove was the Ribbon Tree. There, at least, she knew she could be alone.
With her hoverboard she made the trek to the tree. The last time she had been was with Brody and Aiden, when Aiden revealed himself as a threat and almost killed her. It seemed befitting. To mourn the parents she lost, she would go to the place where she almost died.
She was sure she was alone and so set her hoverboard down at the base of the tree. As she began to climb, she heard Mick calling out, asking that she wait up for him. Sighing because she had been found, Sarah dropped back to the ground and waited for her mentor to catch up.
"Aren't you missing school?" she asked him. Mick huffed and puffed as he arrived at the tree, then as he tried to catch his breath, he looked to her.
"I could ask you the same question."
"I'm just going to flunk out."
"You're the school's top student," Mick told her. "I probably shouldn't even be telling you that, but your grades are still far above nearly everyone else's. You've even got a few points on Monty."
"So?"
"You could flunk the rest of the year and still pass with honours," Mick told her.
"So, there's no point in attending anyway."
"You love school."
"Mick…"
"I'm no there to convince you to go back," Mick said. "You came to school, I think we can all understand if you need to duck out early. That isn't why I followed you."
"So then why are you here?"
"I wanted to check up on you," Mick said. He sat down at the base of the tree and invited Sarah to take the spot next to him. Sighing, she lowered herself onto the grass and leaned back against the tree. "I know what it's like to have your parents ripped away from you. It's not something you ever get used to."
"Mick…"
"You've lost your dad twice now," Mick said. "Your mother once. I've lost both my parents and the one time it happened, I didn't know how to cope."
"So, you want to share sob stories?"
"Last time you lost a parent, you and I travelled back in time to save him," Mick reminded Sarah. "We nearly got ourselves killed trying to save a man who was dying."
"That man was my father, and if you hadn't of let him die…"
"I had to make a choice, Sarah."
"Even if he died, we could have brought him back. Oedius couldn't have used him against us and…" Sarah hadn't really considered the implications before. Not until Mick brought up the time travel. He had let her father die. While Sarah knew deep down her father was a dead man walking, she always blamed Mick for his death. She believed there was a chance that if they brought him home, they could have helped him. Now, the circumstances surrounding his and her mother's deaths all revolved around that one issue. Even if her father would have died, he would have died away from Oedius. While his life wouldn't have been saved, her mother would still be here.
"Your father made his choice," Mick reminded her, but he knew there would be no convincing her. He had made a choice for her, in her absence. Unless she created another time machine to witness the conversation he had with her father, Sarah would never truly know what went down. He had already accepted that she would always see him as the villain in that story.
"But you…"
"We couldn't get to safety, not with him," Mick said, then shook his head. "But that's not what I meant. Sarah, your father made his choice when he sided with Oedius. Whatever his reasons, whether they were justified or mad, he chose to do as she asked. He chose his risks. What happened to your mother as a result…"
Sarah started to sob. If Mick hadn't already known she was on edge, it would have caught him by surprise. He looked to her as she wiped her eyes.
"You miss her, don't you?" Mick asked, and Sarah nodded.
"I miss them both," she said. "But… I've grieved for dad and even when he came back… he just made me so angry. I chose never to see him again. I made peace with that. Mom…"
Sarah barely choked out her words. Mick put his arm around her as he waited patiently for her to speak.
"Mom… she didn't… mom didn't deserve that," Sarah said. "She wasn't a P-P-Power Ranger. S-She… She just came to say goodbye."
"You miss her most?" Mick asked. Sarah started to shake her head. She didn't want to admit it. Mick could tell she was lying.
"You know, I was taken from my parents when I was young," Mick said. "I grew up on Galvanax' ship, like Brody."
"Mick…"
"Hear me out," Mick insisted. "Now, I loved both my parents very much. Equally, you might say. They were your typical parents. My father worked hard to provide. He was gone in the mornings when I got up, but home around dinner time so he could be with me and mom. I admired him so much as I boy; I knew I wanted to be just like him. He was tough, definitely rough around the edge but he was still so loving. Mom… I can't say enough good things about my mom. She always put me first. Whenever I was hurt, or scared, or worried, just knowing my mother was there in the room with me was enough to make me feel better. Her touch could heal the worst pain and was so soft, so gentle… I can't transform into anything that could replicate the feeling of being held and loved by my mother."
"I don't see the lesson yet," Sarah said, knowing Mick could have a backwards way of teaching her and the other Rangers life lessons. Mick shook his head.
"Some days," he continued, "I miss my father more. I might barely think of my mother, but I can't get the pain I feel over losing my dad out of my head. Those are usually the days where I feel… helpless," he looked to Sarah with a smile. "For instance, the day you and the others were kidnapped by Galvanax, and it was just me and Brody… Boy, did I miss my dad on that day. There wasn't really time to grieve but… if you could be inside this head, you would know."
"Mick…"
"Right," Mick nodded and continued. "My father always knew what to do when there was a problem. And he was so brave, so strong and so bright, it seemed like there wasn't a problem he couldn't fix. On tough days like that, I miss him the most."
"You were close with your dad?"
"I was, but not more so than with my mother," Mick said. "And speaking of, on the flip side, there are days I miss my mom more. I find those days are usually… trying. It's not necessarily when I feel helpless but… kind of similar. Someone I know is in a lot of pain and… I don't know how to make them better. Take, for instance, the day we time travelled. When I made that… decision, I knew you were going to be mad. Just like how my mother used to have to put up with me being mad at her, for whatever reason, I knew I would have to tolerate your anger. Worse than that, I knew I might have to act as a bit of a…"
"Punching bag?" Sarah asked with a little wince, recalling that day. Mick nodded.
"There wasn't anything you could do to me that day that would make me feel worse than how I felt for you," Mick told her. "I knew the pain you were in and… there wasn't anything I could do to take that pain away. Mom would always hold me in her arms, sing softly and it would help but… I'm not my mother. I missed her again the day you died, when you trashed the base."
Sarah looked to Mick painfully as she recalled that moment. They hadn't spoke about either of the two incidents since they happened. Mick had forgiven Sarah and Sarah had been too humiliated to bring them up.
"My mom would have known what to do, or what to say to help you calm down, before it got violent," Mick said. "You would have loved her, Sarah. In fact, Jenny reminded me of my mother in the way she treated you."
"Mick, I'm sorry…"
"Don't be," Mick shook his head again and smiled. "You have had some tough times lately. Jenny's been there with you, through all of it. This is one of those times you might need her love and her guidance and it's not there. You can miss her, and it doesn't take anything away from how much you might also miss your father."
"He took me in, Mick. Raised me, gave me everything…"
"You learned to live without him a long time ago," Mick reminded her. "You've grieved, and while you might have to do it again, it won't be as hard as living without your mother for the first time in…"
"I barely remember a time she wasn't at least around," Sarah said.
"You're going through a lot. Don't add guilt to the list of feelings you'll have to process. Your father made his own choices. He is responsible for what happened to himself and to his family as a result. That includes you and your mother."
"It's hard, Mick."
"I know."
"Kelly and Hayley say it gets easier," Sarah said. "And I've been here before and I know it did once. It's just…"
"It feels like it's never going to get better?" Mick asked. "You feel like you're never going to be happy again?"
"It hurts too much," Sarah nodded. Mick wrapped his arms around her tight and kissed the top of her head.
"I know exactly what that's like," he said.