Chapter 26: All I can Do

I hopped off the ship as we docked. I couldn't contain my excitement as we got closer and closer to Hattusa.

"You seem energetic." He chuckled as he too exited the boat.

"How can I not be? We are headed home and we have evidence against Nakia!" I bubbled.

He laughed and suddenly gave me a quick peck on the lips. I was confused a moment. Ilbani was never one for such displays. I wasn't complaining of course. I really did miss having him all to myself. This whole time, we haven't had any time to steal away any private time.

I smiled and quickly kissed him back. Suddenly, Shala was leaned over the dock throwing up.

"Seasick already?" I remarked. Yuri had hurried over to her and was rubbing her back.

"I'm fine. We should just get to the next dock." Shala brushed us off. Now that was odd. Was she hiding something?

"Shala…are you pregnant?" Yuri suddenly asked.

"I'm so sorry! I know you just lost your child, and now I only remind you of that…" Shala cried.

"Don't be silly! It's a good thing! I'm kind of miffed you didn't tell me earlier!" Yuri laughed.

"Uhm…Princess Yuki has frozen up…is she ok?" Ryui asked warily.

I realize I did freeze up a moment. Ilbani was looking at me with a sudden worry.

"Shala! Why didn't you tell me so earlier! I had you riding horses, fighting during the rebellion! What if the baby got jostled up! No more fighting for now! You sit right here! Yuri and I will find a boat! Wait, is it ok to be at sea for so long? Perhaps we should spend the night here…" I said as I grabbed the luggage from Shala's arms. No carrying heavy things for her.

"Princess, I'm fine! I'll even find the ship, it's not a problem." Shala laughed.

"No! I will not have it!" I huffed, grabbing Yuri and marching into the market.

"A baby! I can't believe it…hey we forgot to ask for who the father was!" Yuri laughed. I was still a bit worried about her. The loss of her child was still pretty fresh and she hasn't had time to properly mourn.

"Well I can't believe she didn't tell us!" I huffed.

"Hey, when are you and Ilbani gonna have one?" Yuri nudged me playfully.

"I- We- I mean…not for…I'm not meant to be a mother!" I sputtered. She gave me an odd look.

"Oh poo, you'd be a great mommy." Yuri pouted, dropping the subject.

I ran my hand through my hair. I had other things to think about right now. No time for baby talk…

Ilbani's POV

I watched as Yuki disappeared into the crowd.

I hated watching her go. Even if it was just for a moment, I always had an irrational fear that she wouldn't come back. Someone would kidnap her, or she would get lost, or hurt.

I know it's ridiculous. I know she can take care of herself. But I still worry.

This entire trip, I couldn't help but hold her a little tighter. With all the time we've had to think on the boat, I've come to realize how close I was to losing her. I almost did lose her.

Leaving his Majesty and coming to Egypt, it was uncharacteristic of me. I had a job as the king's only advisor. My leaving left a lot of work to do for his Majesty and I when I got back. His Majesty knew it too, but he showed no surprise when I had announced my plan to go to Egypt. He merely said one thing to me:

"Love makes us do strange things, doesn't it, old friend?"

Yes. Strange indeed.

I don't even know what I was planning to accomplish in Egypt. Yuri and Yuki nearly had everything planned out on their own and the maids provided more then enough manpower. I was merely an extra. I was no help.

I knew it would end up that way. I always ended up that way. Everyone would go march out into battle, and I was left behind. But I still chose to go. Perhaps it was because I wanted a little control of the situation. Just for my peace of mind.

More likely, I just wanted to see her safe. To just see her. That was it. I served no other purpose in the operation. I knew she could take care of herself, but I just wanted to see it with my own eyes.

At that moment, the girls were back and we were boarding another ship north towards home. The constant boat rides must be taking a toll on Yuki. I noticed she was getting a bit pale. And she looked sick while we were on water. I couldn't blame her. After her ordeal with Princess Yuri, of course the sea would make her a bit uncomfortable.

"I think I'm going to take a nap. Can you take first watch, Yuri?" Yuki yawned, leaning back on me and almost immediately falling asleep. I took off my cloak and enclosed it over her, protecting her from the harsh wind. She sighed happily and snuggled in closer.

"Thank goodness." I heard Princess Yuri whisper. I looked to her in question.

"You know she barely slept while we were in Egypt. She didn't trust Ramses or any of his maids, so she slept by my door to keep watch. She thinks I don't know, but I can see her shadow under the door. She did the same when we were in Mittani. She won't sleep even if I tell her to. You know, when you came, she was so much more relaxed. She must feel safe around you." Yuri said fondly.

"Safe? I am not as skilled as her in the arts of war." I scoffed quietly.

"You don't have to be strong to make someone feel safe. My mother back in Japan, she was not particularly strong. But when she held me, I felt safe from anything in her arms. It's like that for Yuki. You don't see her when she is away from you. If you could, I know you would realize it. She doesn't sleep, she always looks rigid and she is constantly guarded. You give her a sense of security that even I cannot give her." Princess Yuri leaned back and stretched lazily.

I looked at my goddess. Was that true?

Perhaps Princess Yuri was right. I didn't need to fight to be beside you. You fight so well on your own. But when you are alone, afraid or sad, you never really dealt with that well…all I can give you is my support. And I was ashamed of that. I was ashamed that I couldn't fight to protect you. That I wasn't strong enough. But that's enough for you, isn't it? That's all you ever really asked for. For me to be there. For me to love you. That's all you really need, isn't it?

Yuki's POV

I peered out to see Byblos as we docked.

"Princess, it seems Hattusa has taken Byblos recently!" Ryui and Shala exclaimed.

"Shala, be careful, everyone is pushing. Here, come stand with me." I pull Shala closer to me.

"She'll be fine, Yuki." Ilbani put a hand on my shoulder. I eyed the bustling crowd warily, still having a hold on Shala.

I know I was being a bit ridiculous, Shala is a grown woman.

But I couldn't help it. After…after what happened to Yuri…I didn't want to take any chances. The trip over water already put me on edge. What if it all happened again?

Yuri's baby…if I had let her stay with His Majesty, would the baby have been ok? If I hadn't proposed the plan to travel by sea, if we had gone by land, would her baby have survived?

My overprotection of Shala…maybe it was just me trying to make up for my mistake. My screw up. My fault.

We all pushed through the crowd, headed for the citadel. I still couldn't help keeping a firm grip on Shala. Shala didn't really seem bothered by my overprotective attitude. I think she was just indulging me. No, I know it was because she was too kind. I doubt she would even tell me if I was bothering her.

"We will never make it there at this rate." I grumbled a bit.

"Hey…look!" Yuri suddenly cried, pointing at the sky.

I shade my eyes against the sun and try to follow Yuri's finger.

"Is that…" Ryui began.

"Shimshek!" Yuri cried, wrapping her cloak around her arm and raising it for the bird to land on.

Suddenly, the crowd began to part as two horses came galloping through.

"Huwant!" I shout as the white horse nuzzled my neck. A little growling sound caught my attention. I turned my attention to a little fox seated on to of Huwant, a cross look on its face.

"And of course I didn't forget you, Nenatti!" I cooed as I scratched the little fox under her chin. He purred in delight. I really missed them…

Aslan was as spirited as ever; he had already swung Yuri onto his back.

"Princess? The Princesses are back!" I heard Kash shout as he and Rusafa rushed out to meet us.

"I'm glad to see you all, but where is his Majesty? I have something important to tell him!" I was eager to get my evidence to His Majesty.

"He…he left. Four days ago for Ugarit. He was going to try and get to you two in Egypt." Rusafa said sadly.

It was silent for a moment. Disappointment hung in the air.

"Pfft." I snorted. Everyone turned to me and my snort led to a severe case of giggles, then full out laughter.

"Ha- Yuri, doesn't this seem like the best example of Irony? You know, like that Shakespeare stuff." I giggled. Perhaps the stress has really gone to my head. I shouldn't be laughing this much. I must have lost it.

Yuri began to giggle with me. Ah, so now we've both gone insane.

"Well, I guess that means we are going to Ugarit." I say after my giggles subsided.

"Wait, Princess you can't mean now?! If you leave now, you will get there by tomorrow night! Please at least rest for the night, His Majesty will have our heads if we let you go!" The three generals begged, standing in front of us.

"Now boys, Kail knows you wouldn't be able to hold me back. I'm sure he'll forgive you." Yuri laughed.

I pulled myself on Huwant and sigh at the familiar feel of riding a horse. A horse, not a camel. I patted Huwant's mane affectionately.

"Ilbani! Stop them!" The poor generals looked pretty desperate.

"My friends, I've learned something after spending all this time with Yuki. I've learned that you have a better chance trying to stop a whirlwind." He sighed, taking a horse from Kikkuri and mounting it.

"You got that right!" I grinned proudly. I suddenly noticed Ryui and Shala holding horse reigns.

"Wait! Where do you think you're going?" I questioned Shala.

"I-I was going with you." She squeaked.

"No. No horse riding in your condition. Ryui should stay with you too." I said sternly.

"Her…condition?" the three generals exclaimed. Oh, right. They didn't know yet.

"Well, I'm off!" I pushed Huwant into a run. The generals followed closely behind me as we headed toward Ugarit.

Yuri was tireless. We had ridden all day and all night and Yuri was still pushing the pace faster. I can't blame her. With every step we get closer and closer to His Majesty.

"Open the gates!" I shouted up to the watchman. The gates opened immediately, no questions asked as confused guards came out. We charged through them without a word.

I should check up on the guards here. They shouldn't have opened the gate that quickly. And it was far too easy for Yuri to barge through the guards. That could have been dangerous if it wasn't us. I dismounted and was immediately surrounded, spears pointed at me. I immediately dropped my weapon and held my empty hands in front of me.

"You! State your name and purpose!" The head guard demanded. That voice sounded familiar. I stretched leisurely before pulling the hood off my head.

"Dassu. I know it's been a long time, but I hope you haven't forgotten me that quickly!" I say lightheartedly. I looked at the head of guard. It seems Dassu has done well after our return from the Mittani Empire.

"Princess Yuki! Put your weapons down, all of you! Hurry!" Dassu immediately lowered his weapon. And bowed. "Princess please forgive me. I meant no disrespect."

"Now what did I say about the 'princess' thing? And I did charge into the citadel in the middle of the night. Get off the ground, Dassu. " I laughed.

"Yuki, don't you have something to show His Majesty?" Ilbani cut in, dismounting behind me.

"You know, I did. But I just saw Yuri charge into his room. I think I'll let them have their alone time. Besides, I'm sleepy." I subconsciously lean back on Ilbani. It wasn't a lie. It's true that I was very excited to share this new information, but Yuri had not seen His Majesty in months. I think they deserved a night to themselves before they must immerse themselves back into the world of war and politics. Perhaps I wanted that for myself too.

"Miss, why don't we take you to a room to rest." Dassu suggested gently. I nodded and followed behind him as he led us through the winding hallways.

The moment the door closed behind us, I leapt into Ilbani's embrace.

"I missed you. I was so worried about you. And…and…" I trailed off when I noticed I was sobbing. What was it about this man that always made me want to cry? I wasn't feeling sad on the way here. But all of the sudden all the sadness over the past few months felt raw.

Ilbani's absence, Yuri's baby, betraying Taharqa…why does it all feel so fresh now? It didn't hurt this much before…

I guess…I was pushing it all down. I kept saying that I had to get rid of the problems at hand. I didn't have time to be sad. I didn't have time to cry.

But being here in his arms. I felt all of the sadness come crashing down on me again. As if I was going through it all again. I don't know how long I cried. I don't know how long he held me. I just loved having him hold me. I loved how safe I felt in his arms.

The next morning, I was back to myself again. I felt revitalized after pouring my heart out the night before.

"Yuki, you said you had something important for His Majesty." Rusafa reminded me.

"I know, where is he?" I scouted the area quickly.

"I'm here, I'm here." Came a sleepy voice. "What is it you needed me to see?"

"I brought you a souvenir from Egypt." I grinned, handing him the precious tablet wrapped in a cloth.

"Is…is this genuine?!" He turned it over in his hands.

"Real as can be." I smirked, " We got her this time."

"Ilbani, Yuki. I am trusting you to keep this safe." He handed the tablet to Ilbani. Good choice. We can't afford to let Nakia get her hands on this.

"Kikkuri! The twins have returned" Mittanamwa said jovially.

"It's amazing you can tell them apart. I guess love gives you special vision, eh?" Rusafa teased along.

"Hey you better brace yourself. Ryui might have twins!" Kash laughed.

Ryui? Wait, but I could have sworn…

"Shala is pregnant." Yuri suddenly cut in puzzled.

"Pfft. You couldn't tell them apart." I laughed. Who would have thought? The twins are really good at sharing.

"Your Majesty. I believe the evidence should be kept under wraps until we need to use it. I would not suggest returning to Hattusa yet." I turned to His Majesty.

"Yes, I agree. I can't leave the troops now while Egypt is focusing their attack." He nodded.

"So we stay until this little problem with Egypt is solved. All the better, then Nakia won't know about the tablet until we get back. We can finally catch her off guard for once!" I cackle.

That was fine. I wasn't ready to separate from Ilbani anyway. I had to laugh at that a bit. I felt safest on a battlefield in the midst of war.

War with Egypt…I wonder how it will end up. A couple of years ago, history dictated that a war with Egypt would ruin the Hittite empire. That's why I had to stop it after Prince Zannanza's murder.

But how about now? We had secured iron. And our military leader is much more competent. This was uncharted ground for me. According to the history I studied, the Hittite empire was on a slow decline after Zannanza's murder which led to war. But we had prevented that. Now we travel on uncharted ground.

Now we shape the future.

Ilbani's POV

I stretched as His Majesty and I got the last of the meeting done. We just needed to be on the same page since our separation.

I walked out the door. Where had Yuki gone? I felt a sudden sense of anxiety. I couldn't help it. I always had to worry about her. She had a knack for getting into trouble. She also had a knack for getting out of trouble, but it still didn't stop me from worrying.

"Oh, Princess Yuki went outside. I'm pretty sure I saw her near the border of the city." Hadi called after me.

"The border? Isn't that dangerous?!" I rushed out the door.

"She'll be fine. There was a scuffle outside of town not so long ago. I doubt they will try again so soon." Hadi cried after me.

By the time I reached the outskirts of town, I saw her, sitting on a cliff looking out over the land.

"You look tired. And you sound tired too." She turned and looked at me with big, questioning eyes. They looked incredibly sad right now.

"You…you didn't tell me you were gone…" I panted.

"You were in a meeting. Did you run all the way here?" She scooted over for me to sit next to her.

"I-I'm too old to be chasing you around like this." I laughed breathily.

"You're not old." She mock scowled at me. I wish I could agree, but looking at her, I couldn't help but feel a bit old. She sighed and looked out over the land again. I looked out myself and was appalled at what she decided to spend her day admiring.

I had assumed she was just considering the scenery, but looking over the cliff, there was a war ground. Bodies littered the ground, blood stained the grass below. It was a gruesome scene. Yet she had her eyes scrutinizing every detail of the ugly scene. Her eyes stayed trained on the death that lay in front of her.

"What's wrong?" I finally asked. She looked like she was going to cry.

"Hadi said it was just a little scuffle." She whispered.

I nodded. This would be considered a mere scrimmage. Nothing that majorly impacted either army.

"You know, I told you before that in our country the write of all the wars. Of the winners and losers. But seeing it is so different. This fight in front of me will probably not be recorded in history. But these people, they died and bled. Seeing war in front of you is different from reading or hearing about it. Ilbani, I don't like war. I always knew it was a bad thing, but seeing it. I hate it. And I know there will be more. Ilbani. I am the Gal Meshedi. The lives lost in war, their blood is on my hands. Ilbani, I always read about war. But now I truly see it. These men, they had families at home. People that loved them. And now, now they lay on a battlefield, forgotten by history." She wrapped her arms around herself and curled up.

"So let's work for less war. In Arzawa, you and Princess Yuri fought a nearly bloodless war. We may not truly have a bloodless war, but we can minimalize the loss. His Majesty is not a fan of war and power either. Perhaps we can create a time of peace." As I said it, I truly believe it. As I watch how Princess Yuri and His Majesty work together, I realize that a time without war is wholly possible with those two in charge.

"…A time of peace. I would like that." She says sleepily. She was still tired from the journey. She had a good nights sleep last night, but it wasn't enough to make up for the months of restless nights.

"As the Gal Meshedi, you'd be out of a job." I teased lightly.

"I would like that too. I could do more work to improve the lives of those not as lucky as I am." She leaned over on me. I pulled her up and escorted her back to the citadel. She needed some much-deserved rest.

I took one last glance at the battlefield.

"Just because history forgot them, doesn't mean you will." I whispered to her. This seemed to relax her a bit.

I hope for a time of peace soon as well. Yuki was right, she was the Gal Meshedi. From this point on, she will be in every battle. She would constantly be at risk. I might lose her in something like this small scuffle.

I hope for a peaceful world. Where she will never have to take arms or watch another soldier die. Where I will never have to see that sadness in her eyes ever again.

Yuki's POV

I leaned over the urn and threw up again. I was thinking about all those bodies…and I guess my stomach couldn't take it. I rinsed my mouth out quickly and headed off to the war meeting.

I considered the situation.

20, 000 men on Egypt's side. Their numbers were higher then ours. We are expecting His Majesty's men today arriving with Prince Piyasili. With iron on our side, our smaller numbers shouldn't be a huge problem. But that put us on par. Now it is down to the skill of the general.

I wiped my mouth quickly and pushed the door open for the war meeting.

"Princess Yuki! It's good to see you again. I wish it was on better circumstances though." Prince Piyasili greeted me as I entered.

"Prince Piyasili. It is great to see you as well. And you are right, after this we must get together for less serious meeting. Now I see everyone is here, are we going to get started?" I smile happily at him.

"Actually Princess, His Majesty is expecting one more for the meeting." Prince Piyasili smiled gently at me. One more? Who else…

"Princess Yuri, Princess Yuki. It is a distinct pleasure to see you two again." A familiar voice came from the doorway. I couldn't help but gasp in surprise.

"Prince Mattiwaza! Well, I guess it is King Mattiwaza now! It has certainly been a while!" I laughed. "You are here to help Hittite?"

"King Mursili II pardoned me and gave me back my kingdom. I need to repay my debt." He said in all seriousness.

Mittani is behind us. Now we have the best charioteers in the world on our side. I mentally began to calculate how this would affect our chances. Our chances were beginning to look pretty good. Suddenly, a high pitched squeal was heard as it echoed throughout the room.

"Big sister Ishtar!" I heard before Princess Alexandria slammed into Princess Yuri.

"I missed you so much that I wanted to come meet with you again!" The little girl giggled. "And I came with some troops of Arzawa!"

Troops from Arzawa too! Oh, things are starting to look good. History had proven before, that The Hittite Empire would lose to Egypt. But now, we had iron, Mittani, and Arzawa backing us up. We had this because Yuri and I came here. Yuri had secured iron, our friendships with King Mattiwaza and Princess Alexandria gave us their support. We had changed history. By being here, we have altered the course of history. We can make a difference. Maybe, we will be forgotten by history. But for right now, we are making a difference to the people living here, now.

"Princess Alexandria, I am very happy you came with troops, but this is going to be a battleground. It is very dangerous." I sighed at the girl. She was so young, I couldn't let her see anything like the battlefield today.

"Wait! I have news to report! …Well I know it's presumptuous of me, but I think Queen Nakia is up to something!" Princess Alexandria explained her suspicions.

"She knows we have it." I grumbled. The tablet. She knows. I knew she would figure it out eventually, but I was hoping it would be after this war ended. I quickly glanced at Ilbani who quickly nodded.

"Did you put the flour there this morning?" He whispered. I nodded quickly.

"We have to head out now. Egypt's troops were seen not to far away!" Kash suddenly burst in.
"Me too!" Princess Alexandria squealed.

"No, you stay." I said sternly. "Ilbani, please make sure you don't let her sneak along."

"Of course. Good luck, love. Please try not to take too many risks." He whispered back to me. I gave him a chaste kiss before dashing out after Yuri.

Ilbani's POV

"Ilbani please let me go!" Princess Alexandria begged.

"No. You are a lady. The battleground is not a place for a lady." I sighed at her. She had been complaining since the troops set out. I will admit, it has kept me busy so I wouldn't have to worry about Yuki.

"Princess Yuri and Princess Yuki are ladies! And they are generals!" She scrunched up her face in anger.

"They are different. And besides, if you go, who will keep watch here?" I try to reason with her.

In a sense, I understood how she felt. Time and time again, as the troops left and I was left here, I couldn't help but feel useless. But I know now, I learned that while Yuki defended on the outside, I was the eyes and ears here.

"Ilbani, a maid is still in your room cleaning up." The guard outside my room said as I passed him.

I smiled and thanked him, but I know there was something wrong. All the maids knew that Yuki absolutely wouldn't let anyone clean the room except the three sisters. Hadi had gone off with her and I just saw the twins in the garden. Princess Alexandria continued to groan about not going with the troops until I quieted her down outside my room.

"Welcome home sir." The maid bowed when I entered.

"Is there a problem?" I asked her suspiciously.

"I forgot to place aromatic oils by your bed." She said as she left.

"Wait." I called. "Why lift the rug if you were placing oil by my bed? On top of that, Princess Yuki has made it clear that only the sisters may enter this room while she is away."

"Miss Shala had bemoaned that she forgot the aromatic oils and wanted me to do it. She is in a delicate state. And the rug was not moved." She continued to move away. I noticed Princess Alexandria discretely moved toward the maid, blocking her from running.

"Ah, but I put flour here in between the pavestones. This one has been moved." I got up and looked at the woman. Her eyes were glazed. She suddenly made a dash. She slightly tripped over Princess Alexandria who was already making a grab for her.

"Guards! Get that woman!" I shouted. Guards were there quickly. Not fast enough. The moment the guards touched her, she picked up the tablet and threw it.

"No!" Princess Alexandria screeched and dove for it, but it crashed only inches from fingers. She came to me with tears in her eyes, the broken pieces in her hands. "Ilbani…I missed. This was important…wasn't it?"

I quickly grabbed the maid and punched her stomach. As expected, she threw up dark water.

"Who did this to you?" I asked the poor woman who seemed to be regretting her recent actions.

"Th-The Priest! The one with one eye!" She sobbed. Urhi. So he was still alive. This was vital information.

"Ilbani…the tablet…" Princess Alexandria sobbed.

"Yes, Highness. It was important. And a decoy. The real one, I keep with me." I say, pulling the tablet out of my robe. I had suspected the queen to figure us out. I had to take every precaution.

"Ah…will now I feel stupid." Princess Alexandria grumbled looking at the shattered decoy in her hands.

"Highness, please take this as a lesson. You and I may not be soldiers, we may not be on the battlefront, but we make our own contributions to the war effort." I teach her the lesson that took me years to learn.

"…No wonder Princess Yuki loves you." She gushed. I let the comment pass.

"Secure the exits. Let no one leave without clearance." I commanded all the guards. We needed to keep Urhi from leaving and meeting with Nakia.

"Won't you tell His Majesty, Princess Yuki and Princess Yuri?" Princess Alexandria asked me.

"They have enough to worry about. I will take care of this. Of course, you will help me, won't you?" I smile at that last part.

Princess Alexandria was starting to grow on me. I would have thought that her constant prattle would annoy me, but she kept my worries at bay. She really was like Yuki in some ways. She was a princess that was proactive and fearless.

I may not be able to protect her on the battlefield, but I could make sure she can come to a safe home.

And that's Chapter 26!

We are going through the story pretty quick and are almost at the end :(

I'm really excited to get over the war arc and head back to Hattusa for the wedding!

Thanks for reading, and thanks to those who reviewed!

~EternallySnowy