Alright, for starters, I know the last chapter may have seemed a little off, but hopefully this one will be a little better; I wasn't really in the greatest mindset when I wrote it so I apologize for that. But on the contrary, I wrote all of chapter 2 while I was half asleep and it turned out pretty good for writing while drowsy.
Secondly, in light of the last chapter, hopefully this one will answer most, if not all your questions about Paige and why she is the way she is.
I would like to thank all my lovely followers, reviewers, etc. for letting me share my thoughts with you. If it wasn't for soapyraindrops, I would have never started writing this story, so a special thanks to her as well.
One last thing, all the teacher names, including Mr. Dyck, are my actual teachers; I didn't make any of them up. Therefore, yes, I do have a teacher named Mr. Dyck, and yes, he is my Chemistry teacher...
On that note, here is Ch. 5.
Enjoy!
P.S. Trigger warning: self harm. It doesn't go into detail, but it is mentioned.
The obnoxiously loud noise of Emily's alarm clock roused her from her sleep as she fumbled in the darkness to turn it off. She had the absolute worst night of sleep that she could remember ever having before; all she did was toss and turn in her bed, mind racing constantly. Not even her mom's sleeping pills that she took at 1:00 AM helped her to fall asleep. There was no plausible explanation for her insomnia except Paige; Paige freaking McCullers would not leave her thoughts for a second. She had absolutely no idea just how someone, someone whom she had just met a few days ago, could have this sort of impact on her life. First her GPA, now this; this had to stop somehow, some way, she had to make everything about this girl leave her mind, but how?
Slowly, Emily arose from her bed, wiping the crusty tears from her eyes as she stood up and walked to the bathroom for her usual morning routine. She really had no desire to go to school, considering how much sleep she didn't get, but knew that she had to push herself through the day knowing how important it would be for her to keep her grades up in order to be able to swim against the Lady Warriors on Saturday.
Emily returned to her room, feeling a little better now that she had been up for a while, but still knowing that the day ahead was going to be miserable. The only thing that kept her spirits up was the fact that she would see Paige today, and that was a bonus, right?
It was now 7:00 and Emily walked downstairs to make her usual breakfast of champions: toast, eggs, sausage and orange juice. Luckily though, her mom read her mind and had already begun making breakfast earlier so it was all ready to eat by time Emily arrived downstairs.
"Morning Emily, I made your favorite." Pam said with a smile. Emily had no clue how someone could be this cheerful so early in the morning.
"Morning mom, thanks, you really know how to treat me well, don't you?" Emily said, half jokingly, knowing full well that she was lucky to have such an amazing mom like her. Although there was that one time she wasn't so proud of her with the way she reacted when she came out, but that was in the past and now she's come a long way since then.
Walking outside, Emily noticed the newly formed snow on the ground; about two inches had fallen since last night. The sunrise made it shimmer so beautifully that, despite the cold, she paused to take in the sight for a minute, before climbing into her vehicle and driving off to school.
When she arrived, Emily was met by an overly eager Hanna: "Oh my God," Hanna complained, "does the school realize how bad the roads are? I almost died on the way over here!"
"Are you sure it's roads, and not the driver? Because I made it here just fine." Emily replied, knowing Hanna was just being her overly dramatic self, which was to be expected.
"Okay, fine. Whatever," Hanna whined, "lets just get to class; the sooner we get there, the sooner I can skip after lunch."
Emily gave her a look of disappointment, to which Hanna replied with a look of "I'll do it regardless of whether or not I have your approval."
They continued down the hallway to their first class; Emily couldn't wait for this day to be over.
As the day rolled on, Emily's thoughts were almost always on Paige. She was so transfixed on her own thoughts that she could barely concentrate what the others were talking about during lunch. All she could make out was Hanna talking about how she is going shopping after lunch and that she tried to convince Caleb to go with her but, obviously, he refused. Spencer was going on about how she "failed" the Calculus test because she had gotten an A-, and how that just wasn't good enough for a Hastings. Aria was talking about how she had finally gotten a hold of Ezra and that they were going to dinner tonight to celebrate his book being published. All in all Emily admitted that at that given moment she couldn't care less about her friends lives that day; all she cared about was seeing Paige next period.
Emily suddenly felt giddy and wide awake as she strolled to Chemistry, not caring that she had a huge grin on her face that had made several people stare curiously at her. But her grin had immediately dissipated and turned into a huge look of disappointment as she eyed the two empty seats at her lab table.
Wh-what? She was gone, but why? She had seemed just fine when I left her last night. Could she have gotten sick that fast? Or was it because of me? Emily couldn't help but think Paige was avoiding her because of what she said last night, pretty sure that Paige had caught on to what she was implying when she said that they "both liked horses." Emily was devastated; she would have to continue the rest of the day worrying about how Paige was, what she was thinking, and why she wasn't at school.
Instead of heading to Athletic Conditioning, Emily had decided to go to the school nurse and lay down, complaining that she was not feeling good, which was the truth; she didn't feel good, but it was all in her head. She laid there for what ended up being the rest of the day, the school nurse waking her as the last bell had rung, signaling the end of the school day, and the beginning of what was to be a very long swim practice.
Emily headed in the direction of the natatorium, stopping at her last two classes of the day to collect any homework that she had missed. Her thoughts quickly went back to Paige. She had ultimately decided that she would stop by her house after practice and see how she was doing and why she had missed school today. Emily had hoped though it didn't seem too weird that she would visit her afterwards; she was just really worried about her.
Swim practice was especially worse than the school day; Emily could not for the life of her pull herself together to even beat the time of the worst swimmer on the team. About fifteen minutes into practice, Emily pulled herself out of the water only to be met by a very disappointed looking coach.
"Emily, I have no idea what is wrong with you today; it's pretty evident that you are unfit to even compete in the tournament on Saturday. If you keep this up, expect to be sitting on the bench that day."
"Coach wait," Emily pleaded as coach Fulton had turned and started to walk in the opposite direction, "today is just not a good day for me. I was unable to concentrate in all my classes and the last three periods I spent in the nurses office. I barely had any sleep last night and I was wondering if it would be alright if I left early in order to recharge for tomorrow; I should be back to normal by then."
Coach Fulton complied with Emily's request only if she promised to bring her "A" game for Saturday; which she did. Emily then headed towards the locker room and proceeded to change back into her street clothes. She then headed out towards her car and started in the direction of Paige's house.
When she arrived, Emily knocked on her front door, only to be greeted by a tall, gray-haired man.
"Oh, hi," Emily started, "I-I'm Emily Fields, a friend of Paige, and I was just wondering if she was here, considering she wasn't at school today." This seemed to catch the man a little off-guard as he stepped aside to let her in.
"She's up in her room." the tall man stated, "you're welcome to go up there if you'd like. It's the last door on the left."
Emily thanked him and proceeded to climb the stairs, towards Paige's bedroom. As she got there, she knocked on the door a couple times and opened it. The first thing she noticed was Paige, sprawled out across her bed, laying on her stomach, pencil in hand, drawing a picture, which Emily couldn't quite make out.
The noise startled Paige as she quickly closed her sketchbook and looked at Emily with a look that could only be described as a child getting caught with their hand in the cookie jar.
They stayed like that for a minute, staring at each other. Emily then broke the silence, expressing her concern for Paige.
"Hey..." she said, cautiously, "I-I noticed that you weren't in school today and I was a little worried."
Wow, what an understatement, Emily thought; but Paige just nodded gently, acknowledging Emily's concern for her well being. Paige's lack of words made Emily even more nervous, as she was starting to regret coming over in the first place.
"Well, umm... How.. how are you feeling?" Emily asked.
Paige hesitated, looked as though she was about to say something, but quickly changed her mind and just shrugged her shoulders. Emily wasn't sure why Paige had suddenly decided to stop talking to her, but it made her feel empty inside; Paige was just beginning to open up to her and she just had to screw it up with that horses comment of hers. She internally chastised herself for it, although she knew it would just make her feel even worse.
Emily cleared her throat nervously as Paige just sat there, on her bed, continuing to stare at her as if she was supposed to say something else, which she did.
"Well, ah... Will you be in school tomorrow by chance?" Emily knew she sounded desperate, but she didn't care at this point. Paige just looked at Emily for a few seconds, and a small smile tugged at the corner of her mouth as she nodded, indicating that she would most likely be attending school the next day. Emily felt relieved, thinking that she didn't screw it up after all, maybe she just wasn't feeling too good this morning, much like herself.
"Good." Emily replied, "Well, glad to hear it. Oh, and by the way, you missed a lab today in chemistry but I finished it. Here." Emily handed the copy of the lab notes, plus the worksheet that was due the next day. Paige smiled a little more, leaning over to take the papers from Emily; their hands grazed slightly and Emily felt her breath hitch for a moment, hoping Paige wouldn't notice it. Luckily she didn't as she tucked the papers in her sketchbook.
"Well, it's probably time for me to head on out. I'm very glad to hear that you're alright; I'll see you tomorrow." And with that, Emily headed back towards the door, but as she was about to leave, she could hear the faintest "Thanks." coming from inside her room. Yes, I didn't completely screw this up; I still have a chance, Emily thought.
As Emily came down the stairs, she was greeted with the warm smile of, who she assumed was Paige's mother, considering the close resemblance.
"Hi, you must be Emily." she greeted, with a very familiar warm smile.
"Yes, hi. I'm so glad to meet you, Mrs. McCullers, right?" Emily knew she was right, but on the off chance that she was mistaken, she didn't want to make a fool of herself.
"Yeah, that's right. Hey, I just wanted to thank you for befriending Paige; she isn't very good at making friends and I'm just so happy that she found such a sweet girl like you to be around."
"Of course, no problem, Mrs. McCullers. Paige is really sweet, but not really one for talking much, is she?"
"No, not really. Actually, she was diagnosed with selective mutism when she was about five years old. It's not very common but it really affects her social life; see, she has the ability to speak, but when it comes to certain social situations, her anxiety gets to be so bad that she is physically incapable of speaking."
Emily was shocked to hear this; it made sense though, the way Paige acted around her and everyone else as well.
"Wow, that can't be fun to live with at all." Emily sympathized.
"No, it can't be; most of the time though she interacts with people by drawing them from a distance; which you've probably noticed by now since she is always carrying that sketchbook wherever she goes. So instead of talking to people, she draws them; it sort of fills the void of not actually physically interacting with them. But, if she does talk to you, you should feel lucky because it took her almost a year before she was even comfortable in a setting with more than five people. Which is why she had to transfer over to Rosewood, because the students there would always pick on her for being quiet, or they would think she's just being stubborn because she refuses to talk; but in reality, she just can't. It got really bad, so bad that we had started to notice a few cuts on her arm, and immediately we did what we thought was best; which was to transfer her. Luckily though, I believe that we have made a very good decision, considering she has already managed to make a friend." Mrs. McCullers said, with a smile that could melt anyone's heart.
Emily was deeply moved by Paige's backstory, she couldn't for the life of her even begin to imagine what life must be like for her; to be looked down upon because of a mental disorder that nobody understood, and therefore rejected her as an outcast. Emily sorta understood what it was like to be an outcast, but not like this. At least she could hide who she was; Paige couldn't.
Emily felt tears welling up in the corners of her eyes; she knew that if she didn't leave now she would become a giant mess of tears in the McCullers' household, which was the last thing she wanted. Quickly, she thanked Mrs. McCullers for sharing that information with her, and made a promise to her that she would stay by Paige's side, regardless of the circumstances, which obviously had touched her as well as Emily could see tears welling up in Mrs. McCullers' eyes as well.
Emily left the McCullers' residence feeling much needed relief, as she walked towards her Toyota. Climbing in, she felt the tears that had welled up in her eyes fall across her cheeks as she drove home; determined to keep her promise to Mrs. McCullers. Not only for her sake, but for Paige's as well.