Chapter 30: My happiness

Ilbani's POV

"Yuki!" I rushed over to her side. No…no, no, no, no! This isn't happening! Yuki…! I couldn't focus on anything else but the hilt of the knife in her stomach. The baby…Yuki…was I crying? My hands were shaking. I could barely stand.

I had never lost my cool in politics, in war. But right now, I felt like my life was about to fall apart. All of the sudden I had no control. I could string the Senate, and generals in war were predictable. Right now, I stand and I look at death in the eye. I look at death and I will fight to wrestle Yuki out of his grasp.

I touched my cheek to see my fingers come away wet. When was the last I had cried in public? I suddenly felt tiny fingers come up and brush my own tears away. I could barely hear anything over the frantic beating of my heart. I vaguely registered Dassu yelling, Queen Nakia's screeching. I heard Princess Yuri cry out when she caught sight of Yuki. Everything except Yuki. Yuki was silent. She was staring up at me, trying to wipe away my tears. Worry in her beautiful brown eyes.

I almost laughed at that. Her in that state, worrying for me? It was a ridiculous thought, but there she was, wiping away my tears that wouldn't stop. There she was blinking owlishly at me, as if asking why I was so sad.

Yuki was trying to sit up, but she didn't make any noise. Was it the shock? A wound like that…it could easily kill someone. I looked down at her again to see her looking up at me, blinking those big, doe eyes. She wasn't really bent over the knife anymore. Suddenly she groaned and rubbed her rump. It wasn't really a pained groan. It was like the groan one makes when getting up and stretching in the morning. Her face didn't register any pain either.

"Will you calm down? I just got the wind knocked out of me when I fell. And I think I bruised my butt…" She coughed. She didn't sound like she was in pain, but often, major wounds don't feel as painful…could she not feel it? Was she already too far gone to feel? I felt my panic begin to rise even higher.

"Your stomach…" I said slowly. I didn't even want to point it out to her. I gently glide my hand to the hilt of the knife expecting sticky fluids to stain my hands but…wait…there was no blood…? There was absolutely no blood!

"You seriously thought I got that fat in five days?" she suddenly got up and pulled the knife out of her stomach…but instead of a crimson stain spreading across her, uncooked rice came out. She reached under her dress and pulled out the sack of rice she was hiding under her shirt. She then pulled her dress off to reveal she was wearing an iron plate that covered most of her torso and stomach. There was a tiny dent in the armor, probably where the knife struck. She was armed to the teeth under that dress. Knives, daggers, a sword, even full armor she usually wore to war. Her baggy dress had hidden most of it. When she first came out in that dress, I had assumed she was trying to hide her pregnancy during the bathing.

"You…you…" I was at a loss for words. Should I be upset? That she was alive, no. That she had probably shaved a good ten years off my lifespan, perhaps. I almost wanted to go up and shout at her and scold her for the next week at least. But my body moved on its own. The next thing I know, she is in my arms, where she belongs.

"I'm sorry. I should have told you. I just didn't want you to worry. Are you mad?" She leaned on me. I couldn't even say anything. I just wanted her in my arms for a moment longer. But I knew we had to pull away.

"How could I be mad? You are alive!" I breathed.

I suddenly saw movement out of the corner of my eye. Yuki must have seen it too, because at the same time, we pulled away. To see Prince Juda lunge at his mother with the forgotten knife, scratching her cheek.

"Mother. As long as you live, you are a threat to the empire. Don't you get it? As the only one with your bloodline, I have neither the ability nor the interest for the crown!" The boy screamed at his mother. The poor child. He was so innocent, and this has been weighing heavily on his shoulders.

"Juda…yes. I am a threat. I will not stop until someone kills me. If it must be you, then so be it." Queen Nakia looked dejected. Broken. She still managed to keep that dratted arrogant look on her face though.

"No." I heard Yuki whisper. I couldn't grab her in time as she leapt after Prince Juda.

As Prince Juda sprang at his mother with the knife, Princess Yuri stood in front of the Queen Dowager while Yuki grabbed the boy, taking them both to the ground.

I hurried to Yuki's side and helped her stand again. She had wrestled the knife away from Prince Juda and was clasping it tightly in her hands, even as the young prince begged her to hand it over. She merely clasped it closer to her chest and shook her head at the boy's demands over and over again.

"Take my Queen mother to the senate. The fifth bath is over." His Majesty commanded.

"Lady Yuki, why?! Why did you stop me?! Please! Give me the knife! I must end her! I beg you!" The young prince begged before Kash and Mittanamwa dragged him off. Yuki clutched the knife to her as if it was anchoring her to the ground. I could see her knuckles going white. When Prince Juda's voice faded away, she made her way to the senate meeting hall. I followed close behind. She seemed shaken.

"We could have solved a lot of problems if you and Princess Yuri had just left Juda to his own devices." I nudge her for an explanation.

"…Matricide…is an ugly crime. I don't want Prince Juda's hands stained with his mother's blood. Then, even after death, she would be able to torment his mind. I can't let that happen." She whispered, finally handing the knife over to me. I noticed the little half-moons her nails made in her skin. I think she has seen enough fighting in her life. I think she's seen enough blood. I began to take all of the weapons off of her. I hope that after this, she won't have to carry a sword everywhere she goes. I hope she can settle down with me and we can live a normal, peaceful family life.

Looking at her, I know that is unlikely. I know she will run off to wherever there is an injustice. And far be it from me to tie her down. So I might have to get used to all of the nights where I stay up worrying. Get used to having to worry over her. It was all worth it to see her smile that carefree grin of hers when everything was ok.

I slung my arm over her protectively as we walked into the senate meeting. As we walked into the last senate meeting concerning the Queen Dowager Nakia.

Yuki's POV

"The senate would like to sentence the Queen Dowager to death. Preferably be death of poison." Senator Agil pronounced. The senate seems to have made its decision.

"I disagree. I would like to exile my Queen mother. I wish for her life to serve as a reminder to those around us." His Majesty said. He was wise. Perhaps he was just merciful.

"Pretty words, Highness, but the senate will not budge on this. The Queen's crimes cannot be ignored. Holy Goddess of wisdom, Ereshkigal. What is your opinion on this matter? What do you perceive as a wise decision at this point?" Senator Agil turned to me. I blinked in confusion to suddenly see every eye in the room turned to me, awaiting my answer.

I closed my eyes and considered both options. In essence, I think she did deserve death for her crimes. But perhaps His Majesty was right. Perhaps she could serve as an example…

I opened my eyes and looked at the queen. The woman, who had been tormenting us for three years. The woman who had been after my life as well as Yuri's. The one behind the deaths of Ursula and Prince Zannanza. The one that has brought me to this world. Who had shown me to my love, and gave me a new life.

Zannanza…Ursula. What should I do? What would give you justice? This woman's death won't bring them back, I know that. But I want to make a decision that would make them proud. Are they here now? Watching the proceedings, the sentence of their murderer?

The woman that was sitting there, trying to look like her normal, confidant self and failing. She looked like she had given up. She looked broken. Her own son had turned on her. Her love had died for her. She had no one left in this world. She was a wisp of the woman I had first seen in the blurry surface of a puddle back in Japan.

"…I would like to Exile the Queen for life." I say. The silence was deafening. Everyone wanted an explanation. I had spoken without really thinking.

"I wish for Queen Nakia to live, and to live a long life. Merely because I believe this punishment to be worse than death. I want her to live long, and for her to always remember her misery. For the rest of her life, I want her to remember and regret. Perhaps she may not regret the lives she has stolen, but I know she will regret driving her own son away from her. Regret that Urhi Shalma's death had been for nothing. Regret that her goals resulted in nothing. That all her plans burned to the ground. Regret that she destroyed herself." I say coldly. Even if I say that, I know that my vote doesn't really count. I am merely a voice, a mild suggestion. A suggestion that many of the senate will weigh heavily due to the situation with Prince Zannanza. That one event had strengthened the idea of the Goddess of Wisdom in most of the senate. Especially in Senator Agil. Even now, after I've voiced my opinion, I see some of the senators glancing at each other, considering my words.

I almost questioned my own words. Yes I said them, but in a way I know that as long as Queen Nakia breathes, there will always be that slight doubt. Only Juda can stand in her way now.

Either way, the senate was split. All eyes turned to Yuri.

"What? Me? I don't have the authority…" She began.

"Yuri, you are the Tawananna now. You have full authority." I smile encouragingly at her. This was her first big decision as Tawananna. The decision that will begin her rule. Whatever she chooses to decide, I will stand behind that decision.

Yuri closed her eyes. I wonder if she saw the faces of all of those she lost? Did she see the bloodshed, like I did? Did she ask those souls what they thought she should do?

"I…would also like the Queen to live and atone for her sins. I want her to live, and to see for herself that I am a different, no a better Tawananna." Yuri opened her eyes and said with conviction.

The sentence was handed down. The Queen was to be exiled to Karukimishu, where her own son, Juda would be the new governor. She will be watched over by none other than her own son for the rest of her days.

As we got up to leave the meeting, Yuri sidled up to me and grabbed my arm.

"You know this may be our only chance." She whispered in my ear. I nodded, following her out the door towards the condemned queen.

We stood there, holding hands, facing the woman that has stopped at nothing to take our lives from us. There we stood, with no guards, no weapons. Just us and her.

"What? I'll hear your last complaints. Go ahead." She still held her head high and had that patronizing voice. It's almost amazing how in control she seemed to hold herself. Perhaps she had just given up on everything.

I squeezed Yuri's hand. I took a deep breath and said the words I had practiced in my head so many nights.

"Thank you. Thank you for bringing us to this world. For showing us this way of life." We both bowed to her.

A while ago, Yuri had come to me asking about what to do Queen Nakia. Whether I thought she deserved death or not. That…was a difficult question. Whenever I thought of Queen Nakia, I thought of the faces she had taken away from me. I wanted her out of my sight. I wanted her brought to justice. But what was fair justice? Yuri was right…no matter how awful Queen Nakia was, no matter how despicable I thought she was, Queen Nakia is the reason we were here. The very reason that we were here, that we got to meet these people because of her.

It's true, she took away a lot from us. She took away Yuri's family, took away my dreams. She stole away the lives of Tito, Prince Zannanza, and Ursula. She stole away a lot. But she also gave me so much. She gave me a land where I found love. She gave me a land I could call home. She gave me a future worth looking forward to. I cannot ignore such a big gift.

Yuri wanted to spare her life to prove that she could be a better Tawananna. I wanted her alive for another reason. I merely wanted her alive because I thought it was a more miserable sentence for her. Yuri had a bigger heart then me. She would never sentence someone to death.

When I saw the look on Queen Nakia's face when Juda tried to stab her, I knew that all of her hope was lost. Her life would be miserable. The single goal in her life, the one person in her life was gone. I wanted to live in misery for a long time.

Yuri had a much bigger heart then me. I know that as a fact.

I suddenly felt familiar arms wrap around my waist and pull me in close. I looked up to see Ilbani smiling at me.

"You are something else, my love." He whispered in my ear. It never ceases to amaze me when he does that. He can find me in my lowest point, and still manage to see that little sliver of good in me. I leaned up and kissed him.

"It's over now, isn't it?" I whispered. It was over. We could relax again, at least for a while.

"What are you talking about? We aren't even married yet. Our life is just beginning." He chuckled, taking my hand and kissing the ring that was still wrapped around my finger.

Some weeks had passed. Yuri and His Majesty had celebrated their wedding very soon after Queen Nakia's exile and Ilbani and I had been kept busy with all of the foreign dignitaries. I think Prince Leo from Arzawa was staying until Princess Alexandria and Prince Juda got married. Nefert was staying for who knows how long. She doesn't seem like she is too keen on leaving.

I had gotten to bed late yesterday and was reluctant to get out of bed. I wonder when Ilbani got up? When I woke up, he was already gone. I wonder if I had slept through breakfast?

I sat up and stretched leisurely. I was just about to pull my heavy body out of bed when Hadi, Ryui, Shala and Sakuwai burst into my room and yanked me out.

"Wha? Did something happen?" I squeak as I was thrown into the tub and scrubbed mercilessly. "is there a senate meeting today?"

"No, don't worry about it. We will take care of everything, princess!" Hadi sang.

"Take care of wh-AH!" I cried as water was dumped over my head mid-sentence.

I didn't get another word out as they bustled about me, throwing on makeup, clothes, jewelry.

I glanced in the mirror to see someone else. Who was the woman in the mirror? That woman with chopped short hair, scars crossing her body, the girl who was wearing the most beautiful dress I've ever seen. The woman who stood tall, who looked sure of herself.

I couldn't help but touch the mirror. I couldn't believe how much I had changed in only a few years. I fingered the dress Hadi had thrown on me. It was long and dyed royal purple with beautiful gold lining. It left most of my back open, and it displayed many of my scars. I looked at the lining again…this was real gold…and this jewelry was finer then what I own. My makeup was stunning as well. The dark kohl winged up and made my eyes look huge, my lips were tinted red and my hair was adorned with various clips. Whatever event this was, they were pulling out all the stops.

"Hadi, is there an important party today?" I ask again dubiously. We were walking toward the temple. Did we have to offer prayer first?

"Forgive me for saying, Miss Yuki, but for someone so clever, you can be very slow sometimes." Sakuwai laughed before dragging me into the temple.

When I entered…I realized what was going on.

Yuri and His Majesty stood near the front of the temple by a priest, Princess Nepis. I realized then that the sisters and Sakuwai were dressed up beautifully as well. All about the temple, I saw the people I loved gathered. Rusafa, with Nefert in his arms. The generals, Prince Juda, accompanied by Princess Alexandria. And of course, Ilbani. Standing right in front of the priest.

I would have to be a fool to not recognize my own wedding.

I laughed a bit, so this was what they were planning. Hadi urged me down to stand next to Ilbani to receive the blessings from Princess Nepis. I had a bit of a start when I realized I didn't know how normal weddings in Hattusa worked. For Yuri, it was more of a coronation. I followed Ilbani's movements through receiving the blessings and kneeled for the holy water to be touched to the five points in my body. Suddenly I heard something familiar.

"Do you, Yuki Ereshkigal take Ilbani to be your husband?" Princess Nepis said. She said it in a halting way, as if the words were unfamiliar.

"I..I do!" I say enthusiastically.

"As do I." Ilbani grinned kissing me warmly. There was a cheer from our friends.

"I don't remember that last part in Yuri's ceremony." I smiled up at him.

"That's because it's not a Hittite custom. I had asked for common customs from your country and she had pointed out that one as the most important. I wanted to be married by both customs." He kept his arm around me, as if he was afraid to let go.

It was now that my heart began to flutter. Everything had happened so fast, I had no time to be nervous. Now I was feeling it. I felt it now. I was married. I have a family here now.

I don't think I have ever been happier in my life. I felt like I would cry from joy. I held my tears back, but only barely.

"It was so hard to keep you off our trail!" Yuri giggled. "We have been planning this for weeks, that's why you've been so busy lately. We had to keep you occupied."

"Everyone knew about this?" I cried, incredulous. Had I been so busy I hadn't noticed any of it?

"Yep! We even made the announcement to the empire!" Sakuwai grinned. I couldn't help but laugh. They went through all of this trouble? For me?

"You are all too good for me." I say in between giggles.

"I think you have it the wrong way, my dear." Ilbani leaned down and kissed me. My husband kissed me.

After the ceremony, we all made our way out of the temple. Ilbani and I were the first ones out, and were met by cheers from an array of people meeting outside. Soldiers in uniform, maids, children, some beggars and merchants.

"Did you plan this too?" I asked Ilbani breathlessly.

"No. This was all you. I merely gave the date we were to be wed." He said slyly.

"Congratulations on your wedding, Ereshkigal!" Dassu stepped up first. Behind him, many soldiers in uniform stepped up.

"Ereshkigal, you saved my life in Arzawa. I was the scout with the snake bite."

"Princess, you pulled me out of the forgotten battlefield when I was injured."
One by one, the soldiers…they weren't just soldiers. They were the ones in my platoon. The ones I had been commanding all this time.

"Miss Ereshkigal!" I heard a familiar voice. I turned to see Zashi and his mother.

"Zashi! You came here from Kizzuwadna?" I exclaimed. There were others from Kizzuwadna as well.

"Of course miss! When mother heard of your wedding, she said we could take the trip and pay respects!" The young boy said proudly. I noted that he still carried the dagger I had given him back in Kizzuwadna strapped to his waist.

"Princess, it is thanks to you that my son and I are still alive, and it is thanks to you that Kizzuwadna is under Hittite rule and is prospering." Zashi's mother bowed.

"Miss Goddess! I came to see you too! And I e'en brought a gift!" I turned to see Hassik, offering me a little cloth bag. "They're Jujubes! R'member, when you firs' 'ired me, I got a bag of Jujubes! Y'know, now I'm workin' fer a merchant in town! My brothers an' sisters are workin' too! It's all thanks to you, Miss!" He grinned.

One by one, every single one of these people went out of their way to come to this palace. To congratulate me. All these people came because I made a difference in their life. Suddenly, the tears I had been holding back spilled out.

Suddenly, I was sobbing in front of all of these people. For the first time, someone other than Ilbani was seeing my tears. I tried to stop, but the worried voices around me had me start up again.

"P-Princess?! Have we upset you? We can leave right now!" Dassu suddenly panicked. I saw the people around me exchanged worried looks.

"Princess Ereshkigal, we didn't mean to upset you…" Zashi began.

"No! No, no! I- I'm so happy! Everyone came here for me…I'm so very happy!" I gasp in between hiccups. I never realized this many people cared about me. Seeing it all here in front of me…it was unbelievable. These people weren't here because I was Ereshkigal. They weren't here to worship a goddess. They were here for me. Just me. They were here because I had made a difference in their lives.

I felt a tiny hand grasp mine.

"You're a bit strange, miss. Cryin' cause yer 'appy. But it's ok. You can cry all ya want!" Hassik grinned his ten year old smile at me.

Then I was laughing and crying, all at once.

I've come a long way. And now I have it. I have what I have been searching for. I have what everyone spends their lives searching for. I have absolute bliss. I have happiness in my hands, and I am not letting go for anything.

Ha! Were you guys mad about last chapter leaving off like that?

I just couldn't help it! I didn't really have very many cliffhangers and i just wanted one good one!

But you guys should know i wouldnt kill Yuki or her baby off like that!

And i saved Rusafa! So forgive me?

This is the end of the main story, but i am having a prologue that takes place a couple years later!

Thanks for reading!

~EternallySnowy