On Unions Civil and Otherwise

by Kita-Ysabell

Ten years have passed- ten years to the day- and when Utena and Anthy's engagement party goes somewhat awry, Saionji finds that some things are not so easily forgotten, and faces the bitter possibility that to make good his escape from Ohtori, he must rescue his oldest and closest friend- whether that friend wants to be rescued or not.

47. Picturesque

Do you want us to suffer more beautifully?

Do you want us to weep silently, from time to time, in the grace of aching sorrows? For everything to be clean and bright and picturesque?

Because it isn't. Ugly truths litter the floor like unwashed clothes, and some of them will never even be found, tucked away behind the desk or under the dresser. We aren't blameless. We never were, or we wouldn't be here in the first place.

Do you want us to mourn our losses with dignified resignation?

Because we won't. Dignity was the first thing to go, resignation the second. It isn't dignified to scream like this. It isn't dignified to be angry like this: angry at ourselves, angry at each other, angry at every little thing that goes wrong, has gone wrong, and will go wrong. All the edges are raw.

Do you want us to be more romantic?

Because we aren't. Romantic gestures always sound a warning note. There's always a sarcasm to them, roses especially. We're not even really in love, just too tangled up in needing one another and the significant past that we share.

Do you want us to suffer more beautifully?

Because we won't. We can't.