Chapter 20

The holidays were only around the corner and the entire school was abuzz with excitement. There was another Hogsmeade trip on the next weekend, and then the winter formal. Olivia observed the passing groups of students with a sense of melancholy. After winter formal was Christmas break, and with a recent letter from home she was certain she was no longer welcome there. According to her sister, she was disgraced and had let all her years being homeschooled be overshadowed by public schooling. Her mother was distressed, and it was better if Olivia just began to tell people there was no relation when the Gold's were mentioned.

Olivia snorted a disgusted laugh. Her own family, after everything she'd been through with them now she was a nobody. And just before Christmas too. Leaning against the castle walls, she watched as another excited group of third years passed by, heading toward herbology.

"Well don't you look mopey." Sirius said with a sideways grin, as he walked up to her.

She groaned. "What do you want from me now devil child?"

Sirius grinned. "Thought I'd keep you company, you look lonely." He sat down next to her and slapped his hands together. "So, how are you?"

Olivia glared at him. "Fantastic."

Sirius shoved her playfully. "Lighten up. What are your plans for the holidays?"

Olivia shut her eyes and leaned back against the stone wall, she didn't entirely know why, but she didn't want to tell him she wouldn't be going home. Instead she shrugged her shoulders and thought of what she would have been doing.

"Spending the holidays with my family. My sister and her new husband will be there to try and recruit me to uphold the family honor, and my mother will drink too much and talk about my father and how life has been miserable without him." She stared at Sirius for a moment and then looked away with a frown. "Same as always." Olivia's frown deepened, for some reason, as miserable as that had sounded; she was going to miss the insanity of her family. As evil loving as they all were, they were all she had known growing up.

Sirius frowned. "When did your father leave?" He asked quietly.

"I don't want to talk about him Sirius." Olivia said evenly. She hadn't meant to be snappy, but it just wasn't a pleasant subject for her. After he had left for a woman from the 1600s and became a blood sucking, evil creature of the night, Olivia hadn't felt much love for the man.

Sirius bit his lip and tentatively put a hand on her leg. "Look, whatever we have going on, doesn't mean we can't talk about things like that. I've known you for too long to just not be your friend Olivia."

She stared at his hand on her leg and fought back angry and confused tears. She wanted to bawl into his arms and be held, but her pride wouldn't let her.

"All you want to do is get me on my back, what on Earth makes you think that's grounds for a friendship?" She snapped. Sirius drew back his hand and glared at her.

"That's not all I think about," He said angrily, standing up hastily. "For some bloody reason all I've been thinking about is how you used to torment me as a child, pulling my hair, putting frogs in my shoes, cursing my toothpaste to make my teeth turn black, I've been thinking about those days and how when I really think about it, even though you were terrifying I'd still prefer how you tormented me then instead of how you torment me now!"

Olivia stared at him, pressing her lips together. Before she could say anything, Sirius let out an angry sigh. "Damn it Olivia, this is stupid."

Olivia crossed her arms. "I agree. So stop trying to make me your play toy."

Sirius smiled and regained a burst of confidence. He let out a laugh. "Look, at this point it's a race to the finish," He bent down close to her ear and whispered, "We might as well just embrace the inevitable." As he walked away slowly, he watched as Olivia's wide eyes stared at him blankly until he turned a corner out of sight.

Olivia sat there for hours, both hands entwined into her hair as she thought about her conversation with Sirius. How in the hell did he know about that? She thought to herself over and over again. There was no way he could have overheard the conversation, and she trusted Lily, there was no doubt that she had let something slip. But maybe it had. Olivia frowned deeply, this was going to drive her insane. It couldn't have possibly been a coincidence, not with how he had whispered it to her. She saw two figures walk slowly by, not entirely paying attention until the figures stopped in front of her.

Lily poked her.

Jumping Olivia sighed and looked up at her friend and James.

"You haven't said anything about what we talked about have you?" She asked quickly.

Lily stared at her a moment. "Of course I haven't."

James looked between the girls. "Talked about what?"

Olivia sighed. "I knew it wasn't you. Sirius knows about what we talked about, I don't know how much he knows or how he found out, but he knows."

Lily sat down next to her and rubbed her shoulder. "Well it's not all bad." She said, trying to reassure her friend.

"Of course it's bad! We were talking about how I've had fantasies about him!" Olivia screeched.

James took a step back and looked around the room. "Well, now that the whole castle knows…."

Olivia glared at him. "I want to know how he's hearing these conversations. This isn't the first time."

James thought about the last full moon and how Peter was mysteriously missing from the pack that night. He frowned. "That's low, even for Sirius." He muttered.

Olivia's eyes widened. "You know then?" She asked hopefully.

James pressed his lips together. "No." He said quickly. "Just a theory. I have to go." He kissed Lily on the forehead and all but ran from the room.

Olivia crossed her arms and stared at Lily. "If he's in on this, I'm going to slap him."

Lily sighed. "If he's in on this I think I'll slap him too."

At that moment Lily and Olivia saw Hannah and Mary walking excitedly towards them. Hannah looked as if she would burst from happiness.

"I'll have you know, that I was wrong about you." She announced, hardly containing her joy. "And I'm sorry."

Olivia stared at her curiously. "Apology accepted." She said apprehensively.

"All this time I thought he knew nothing about me, but after he told me what you had said-" Hannah babbled happily. Olivia put her hand up and stopped her abruptly.

"What on Earth are you on about Hannah?"

Hannah sighed in pure euphoria. "Sirius told me that you had said all these nice things about me and how wonderful it would be if he were to get to know me better and he said that you suggested that he take me to the winter formal because I was such a great person and he said because you had said that, it would be an honor to take me."

Lily's eyes widened and her head snapped to look at Olivia, who had pressed her lips together so hard they were beginning to turn white. She forced her lips into a shaky smile. "Of course I said that." She said monotonously. "Why wouldn't I?"

Hannah squealed and forcefully grabbed Olivia into a rib-cracking hug.

"I owe you SO big Olivia! SO big!" Hannah screamed happily as she and Mary bounced off together.

Lily watched Olivia carefully for any sudden movements. After a while she quietly cleared her throat. "O-Olivia? Are you alright?"

"I'm going to kill him." She said calmly.

Sirius sat on his bed thinking about his conversation with Olivia. It was true what he had said, he had been thinking a lot about their childhood lately, and it was beginning to disturb him. The only fond memories he had of his childhood involved Olivia and James. When they played together, it was the only true happiness he had ever felt. Even if Olivia was more often than not, trying to break one of his limbs. He smiled. She had been an odd child. From the day he had met her she seemed to like him, but the only way she knew how to express herself was by stuffing socks in his mouth. Chuckling he thought of his most favorite memory of her, they were ten years old and Olivia's parents had been in another fight so she had crawled out of her bedroom window and escaped to the fort they had all made together one summer in Sirius' backyard. He remembered going outside to get away from his own family when he had heard her crying…..

"Olivia? What are you doing here?" Sirius asked.

Olivia sat in the corner of the fort, hugging her knees to her chest. "I don't want to be at home right now." She said quietly, trying to wipe away her tears.

Sirius sat down across from her and pulled the curtain shut.

"Are you ok?" He asked, feeling awkward. Sirius had never seen Olivia cry before. She was usually making him cry.

Olivia's violet eyes peered over her knees. "My parents fight a lot, I thought when people loved each other they didn't yell or call names."

Sirius shrugged. "Maybe it's different when you're grown up."

Olivia shook her head. "It shouldn't be. I think when you love someone you shouldn't hurt them."She wiped away the last of her tears and rested her head on her knees thoughtfully.

Sirius frowned. "I think friends shouldn't hurt each other either." He said pointedly.

Olivia smiled. "Nah. That's no fun." Without warning, her right leg shot out in front of her, kicking Sirius in the shin. As he yelped in pain, Olivia got up quickly and waved to him, running out of the fort.

Sirius ran a hand through his hair and laid back on his pillow, staring up into the canopy. The more he let his mind wander, the guiltier he felt about everything.