Chapter 31: Prologue, No Regrets

"MAMA!" I heard a voice screech. I sigh, rub my pregnant belly and heave myself up, heading out to the courtyard where there was a ten year old girl screaming for me. Once I got there, a girl with long, dark blonde hair and honey brown eyes was frantically running about the base of a tree. And another little girl with long, wavy blonde hair standing shyly behind her.

The courtyard that had once been quiet and empty was now alive with energy as the children ran about.

"Piya, what is the matter?" I ask after watching the poor girl run around and around the tree. She glanced up at me with panicked eyes. Ah, she was her father's daughter. The child had a habit of worrying. And lecturing. She even looked like Ilbani, with his blonde, brown hair and honeyed eyes.

The girl next to her, Sakunia, was Sakuwai and Shubas' child. She was a shy little thing, actually a lot like her mother. She waved at me timidly, then quickly hid behind that curtain of hair.

"Momma! Arias climbed up in the tree and won't come down!" She wailed. Waving her arms frantically at the tree.

"But the ripest apples are at the top!" A boy's muffled voice echoed above my head. I walked to the tree and glanced up to see two dark brown eyes staring down at me.

"Arias, that is a bit high. Will you be able to get down from there?" I questioned the 8-year-old. I could see him grin from the branch he was perched on, happily munching on the apples he'd pilfered. Ilbani says Arias is most like me. He also has Ilbani's brown hair, but he has my nearly black eyes. He was stubborn too. But I don't know if he gets that from Ilbani or me. Perhaps he got it from both of us, because to my knowledge, neither of us was that stubborn.

I will admit he has my smile, though. He had this impish grin that always seemed to get him out of trouble. He had these huge, honest eyes that always had a glimmer of devilishness in them. He was honest almost to a fault, this made him a favorite of his Aunt Nefert.

The child was also fearless. He would charge into any situation. Which would leave his poor older sister, Piya, constantly running after him and his mischief. His Majesty had often commented that Ilbani had acted the same way when he was young, constantly fretting over the safety of the young princes. With Piya around, I felt a bit more at ease at letting little Arias run loose. I know that his big sister always had his back. Just like now, as she is fretting about the little orchard, trying to convince the boy down.

"I'm ok, mama! Look at all the apples up here!" He said through a mouthful of the sweet fruit.

"Arias! Get down here right this instant! You are going to get hurt!" Piya stomped her little foot, her face turning red.

The boy grumbled a bit, but I could hear him begin to descend from the tree. Then I suddenly hear a crack.

"Ah!" He cried before he fell. Luckily enough, I was just under him and caught him with ease.

"Arias! I told you so! You shouldn't have climbed that high! What if mama weren't here? Then what? And mama! You shouldn't move so much! What if the baby gets hurt?!" Piya scolded the child and then turned to me. My little boy sat with a self-satisfied smirk on his face while his sister scolded his mother. Piya tried to get me to sit down, but I waved her off. She really was like her father, if not worse!

"Well then it's a good thing Mama is here! So we don't have to worry!" He laughed as his sister's face turned redder and redder.

"Now, now, don't fight. Why don't you go find Prince Diur and Princess Eimi are up to? I think I saw them playing with the twins at Uncle Kikkuri's house." I pat both of their heads. They both smile and dash off dragging little Sakunia with them, whatever disagreement they had forgotten in the wind.

"I heard shouting." I heard a warm voice behind me and turned to receive a kiss from my loving husband.

"Arias was just up to trouble again." I laughed. I looked down to see a five year old, grasping her father's robes. "Kohana, aren't you tired after that boring meeting?" I asked the child. The girl shook her head, her long black hair whipping back and forth.

Of all of the children, Kohana resembled me most in appearance. She had long, sleek, black hair and my dark eyes. She was also very fair and petite compared to the other children. Where she got her extreme shyness is beyond me, though. She could talk, she just chose not to most of the time. When she does speak, it is well thought out for a five year old. Kohana was a daddy's girl. Ilbani had insisted that we name her a Japanese name, and she barely has left his side. She has even taken to accompanying us to senate meetings and just sitting to listen. Ilbani doted on Kohana, you rarely see one without the other nowadays.

"AUNTIE YUKI!" I hear a screech before a little girl with blonde hair slammed into me.

"Princess Marie! What's wrong?" I ask the exuberant girl. She was bubbling with energy all of the time. I don't know how Yuri keeps up with it.

"Auntie, auntie! Mommy says to tell you that Uncle Juda and Auntie Alexandria are going to visit in four days! They are bringing little Paras with them!" The girl spoke in a jumble, as if the words couldn't come out as fast as she thought them.

"Ok, I got it, Marie." I laughed. It had been a while since I had last seen Prince Juda and Princess Alexandria. Almost three years now. I think their son Para is about five years old by now.

"Kohana! Come play!" Marie suddenly grabbed little Kohana's hand and dragged her away. I laughed as the little girl followed her cousin like a duckling.

"You should get out of the sun. It's really beating down today." Ilbani said from behind me.

I looked over to see Ilbani was sitting in the shade of the tree and I go over to join him. He slung his arm around me comfortably and pulled me in close. And even after all of these years, my heart skips a beat. As if I was 15 all over again.

He was holding my hand and rubbing his fingers aimlessly on the old iron ring that I have been wearing for ten years. His other arms coming around my waist and resting on my belly.

"You still look beautiful. Makes me feel old." He mused.

"I'm fat. And we are both getting old." I laugh.

It has been nearly 13 years since my arrival here. It's hard to believe how quickly time passes by. My days spent watching my children grow, watching them smile and laugh in a country we worked so hard for. These years have been full of so much joy. Of course, along the way there was sorrow as well. But I know it was all worth it. This happiness…I never thought I would be able to be this happy, but here I am, with a family that loves me. One that supports me.

Every once and a while, I wonder about Japan again. I wonder how things are doing back there. Sometimes, I wonder what may have happened if I had never come to this country. Would I have stayed miserable in Japan? Perhaps fell in love with someone else?

But who really knows. I don't want to spend my life wondering about 'what if'. I want to spend my life loving every moment, cherishing every last memory. No matter how much I wonder about Japan, I know I do not regret my decision to stay in the land where the river flows as red as blood. I know I do not regret falling in love with the King's advisor and becoming the Goddess of Death.

"What's on your mind?" Ilbani asked lazily.

"I was just thinking about how nice life is right now." I answer. I felt this odd sense of déjà vu. It was true though. Life is really nice right now. I snuggled deeper into Ilbani's embrace and just basked in the warm sunshine.

"Yuki! Your son is stuck in the tree at Ryui and Shala's house!" Nefert's voice reached me before I saw her. She came into the orchard, with one child clinging to her back and an infant cradled in her arms.

"Would you like to get it or shall I?" Ilbani yawned.

"How about wee get him down together? I think Piya is probably having a conniption right now, so we should hurry." I laugh.

"Momma! Tell us a story before we go to bed!" Arias begged as I tucked in Kohana. All three of them still shared a bed, but I was beginning to see there was less and less room as they grew. And with one more on the way, we might need to think about giving Piya her own room pretty soon.

"Yes! A story! Oh please, Momma? I love your stories! We tell them to our cousins and they love them too!" Piya joined in, burrowing deeper into the covers and wrapping her arms around her little sister who looked up at me expectantly.

"Ok, just one. Now, which story would you like to hear today?" I laugh quietly, sitting back on the chair and putting the candle on the table next to me.

"I want to hear the one about the brave Prince Zannanza and his journey to Egypt!" Arias declared.

"I want to hear the one about the court lady Ursula!" Piya argued.

"Oh, or we can hear about the land that is in the middle of the ocean with buildings that touch the sky!" Arias suggested.

"How about I tell one now and one tomorrow?" I offer to no avail as the two continued bickering back and forth.

"I…I want to hear about Ishtar and Ereshkigal." A tiny voice popped into the argument. Little Kohana had pulled the covers up under her chin and was looking at me expectantly.

"Oh? I don't think I've ever told that one. Where on Earth did you hear it from?" I put my hand on my cheek. I had never told them stories of myself or my past. I only tell them of the land I came from.

"A lot of people tell us that story! King Mursili, Auntie Yuri, Auntie Sakuwai, Miss Ryui, Shala and Hadi too! And Papa tells it the best! Auntie Sakuwai says that it's about you and Auntie Yuri!" Arias sat up in bed. bouncing and rustling up all the blankets.

"Papa told you that story too? Well, I don't know if I can tell it as well as him." I soothed Arias back into bed and soothed the sheets over them again.

"Then perhaps we can tell it together today?" Ilbani suddenly said from the doorway. He walked over and sat right beside me, kissing my cheek lovingly. "Why don't you start, love?"

"Ok. Once upon a time, a strange girl from a different land appeared magically from the shrine…"

I quietly closed the door to our bedroom behind me. The children had finally fallen asleep and I was done with all of my work today.

I yawned and looked to the table, where my husband was busily working on something. That was odd, I thought we had finished all of the work for today. I crept up behind him and wrapped my arms around him.

"What are you up to?" I asked playfully, reaching for a brush and running it through his silky hair.

"I wanted to write a diary. I spend all of my time writing about what happens in the empire, about all of the things happening in history. I want to write about something else. I want to write about the lives that are a part of history. I want the future to know that His Majesty and Queen Yuri are not merely just great rulers. I want them to know they are a loving family, that Queen Yuri worries The King when she is away. I want them to know about who Prince Zannanza was. Not just how he died. I want people to know of how infuriatingly stubborn the goddess of darkness was. I want history to remember us. I want someone else to know of all my successes. Not just that I was the King's advisor. Not that you were just the strategist. I want them to know that I am raising a beautiful family with the woman I love." He said, focusing on his work. Next to him, I saw there were piles and piles of clay tablets. He must have kept this diary for many years.

"How had I not noticed this? How long have you been keeping it?" I ask curiously, running my fingers over the tablets.

"…Since we got married. I usually keep it hidden away and only write when I feel like it." He finished his entry and stood up, giving me a kiss. "You should write something sometime too."

"Yeah. Maybe I will." I smile back and glance at the clay tablets.

"Now then, it seems you've been telling the children stories without me. What other stories did I miss?" I smile at him, getting into bed.

"Have you heard about the humble advisor that fell in love with a goddess?" He asked, sliding in behind me.

"No. Want to tell it to me?" I sigh sleepily. My eyes were drifting shut.

"Of course. Once upon a time, the gods made a difficult decision. They sent their most beloved, most perfect goddess into our world. They made this decision because they wanted this perfect goddess to bring more joy into the world…" His voice faded away as I drifted into a blissful sleep.

Japan 13 years after the disappearance of Yuri Suzuki and Yuki Yoshida

Haruka's POV

"Yoshida-san! Yoshida-san! Are you home? Please open up!" I hear an excited voice and someone pounding on my door frantically.

I open the door to see a young girl. Her mid 20's perhaps. She looked incredibly familiar…but I can't really place it.

"Yoshida-san! My name is Eimi Suzuki! Umm…I was Yuri Suzuki's sister." She was bubbling with energy. The young man behind her put a calming hand on her shoulder. He had a pretty large bag with him.

"Yuri Suzuki…that name rings a bell…" I trailed off. Yuri Suzuki…where had I heard that name before?

"My sister was very close friends with Yuki Yoshida. Your daughter. They both went missing in the same year." The girl said. Ah, that's right. Yuri Suzuki. I remembered Yuki would say she was going to see Yuri when she went out…she had gone missing at the same time? That time was so blurry…I don't remember much. When I got Yuki's note, I turned myself around. I started working again. Even dating. The house was still lonely without her though.

"Yes. Yuri. I remember that name. What does it have to do with me now? Those girls have been gone for more than a decade." I say tiredly. I don't want this sadness dredged up again. My little girl. I wonder where she was now? I wonder if she is happy, like she claimed she was in that letter all those years ago.

"Well, you see, my husband, Himuro is an archaeologist! Recently, he uncovered something odd. A diary of some sorts. Well that is odd in itself, since most people in ancient times did not have the time or the need to keep diaries…"

"What's your point girl?" I interrupt her. I was beginning to remember Yuki again. Beginning to wonder and to miss her. After all of these years…I don't want false hopes. We had many cases where they claimed they "found" the girls. Of course, none of them were them.

"You see, these diaries are kept by a man. The advisor to the King. He tells of his life in the palace. Starting when two goddesses were sent to their world. Their names were Yuri Ishtar and Yuki Ereshkigal." Eimi ended in a whisper. I felt my heart skip a beat.

"Tell me something. Are they clay tablets? The diary…" I trail off.

"Yes. That is how they kept records back then. How did you know?" Himuro lifted the bag he had in his hands. I ushered them in, and went into my room. In the last drawer, wrapped carefully in one of Yuki's sweaters, was a clay tablet. One I had received nearly 12 years ago. I brought it out and presented it to the couple.

"Amazing…this one is written in Japanese though. Ours are in Cuneiform." Eimi reveled, turning the thing in her hands. It was true. I held the old, decrepit tablets they had brought. I could not even begin to understand the words written.

"Himuro translated all of it into Japanese. Here, we brought a transcript!" Eimi handed a heavy stack of papers to me. Himuro excused himself, letting us reminisce on our own perhaps.

I weighed the stack in my hands. Did I dare hope? That Yuki was written on these pages?

"You know…I haven't read them either. Himuro was sure it was them. I wanted to read them with you. So we would know for sure." Eimi said quietly.

"Well then. Shall we get started?" I smile, opening the cover and beginning to read it outloud to Eimi.

"My life began when a goddess appeared in the fountain in the spring season. A girl with hair black like ebony, pale skin and eyes like the night sky. A girl who was stubborn, self sacrificing, and absolutely perfect…her name, was Yuki Ereshkigal."

We spent hours reading. Eimi stayed the night. I made tea, and we read some more. I read his man's words on how this Princess Yuki charged into danger without thought. I read about how much he worried for her safety. I read about how much Yuki Ereshkigal loved her sister Yuri Ishtar. I read of her homesickness and complicated love for her mother. I read of the times Yuki cried of joy, of sadness. Of when she was angry beyond reason. I read of his worry whenever she got another scar on her body. I read about how she cried for the loss of her loved ones. How she glowed in his eyes as she frolicked in the snow, or slept in the sun.

I read of how afraid she was when she was with her first child. I read of their wedding. I read about their children, their friends' children. I read about their peaceful, everyday lives.

I read and read. And then I cried. This was her. This was my Yuki. It has to be. There were too many similarities. This diary belonged to the king's advisor. Yet he never really mentions himself except in passing. He would mention how happy he was to have met Yuki, how content he was with their life together. Everything else was about Yuki. It was all about Yuki. Even when she was not in the palace, he wrote of his worry for her. He wrote of his love for her. He wrote of every adventure she had taken. This diary was proof, that she was on his thoughts all of the time.

Eimi was crying right beside me. If these girls were really Yuri and Yuki, then they have done well for themselves. We sat there, sobbing together. Not out of sadness. Out of joy. Finally there was proof. Proof that they were safe. Proof that they were happy. Even if we couldn't see them anymore, even if they are gone now, it was comforting. It was comforting to know that they had both lived full, joyful lives.

The sun was rising. Casting beams of light through the curtains and onto the floor. We were on the last entry. This one was in a different style of writing used previously.

Ilbani says I should try writing a diary entry. I guess it can't hurt. I don't even know what to say really.

My life here started off rocky. It was difficult and bloody. At first I only stayed to protect Yuri. I had not planned to stay. I had not planned to get attached to the people here.

That changed though. I made a choice to stay here. I wanted to stay here because I found people that love me. I found friends that support me for who I am, a man that will love me for my flaws. I found myself in this land. I found true happiness.

This place has made me realize my true self. It made me step away from Yuri's shadow. It showed me that there are people that will love me for me. That by just being who I was, I could still be loved. I learned here that love can hurt. That it scars the heart. I have also learned that it is worth it. I'd rather be hurt again and again, then to never love again.

As the years pass by, I wonder about my old country. I wonder about the mother I left behind. I wonder if she is well. Before I came here, I used to think she didn't love me. But now I know that cannot be possible.

When I was pregnant with my first child, Piya, I was so worried that I wouldn't be able to love her enough. That I wouldn't be able to teach her right from wrong. That she would come to hate me someday. But when she was born, the moment I looked into her eyes and held her tiny hand, I know that I could never hate her. I couldn't. My mother must have had a massive hurt inflicted on her. I know now, that she was merely lost. I hope that she found herself. I wish I could tell her that I love her. And that I hope she found her happiness.

I look around at my life right now. I am the Gal Meshedi for Hattusa. My sister Yuri is the Queen, ruling with her love, King Mursili II. I am married to a man that loves me and I have three children with one more on the way. I live in the royal palace, surrounded by people who love me. Surrounded by trusted friends.

I have no regrets. I love this land. I am happy here. I have found a happiness that I never thought possible for someone like me.

It's true I have also had sadness, but I wouldn't change anything about my life right now. I am glad I was thrown here, in the land where the wind blows dry, where the river runs red. The land where I fell in love. Where my children run about in play. Where Ilbani will hold me close when I cry. A land where my sister and I now call home.

I have no regrets.

Yuki Yoshida Ereshkigal.

And that is officially the end! I might do a super short side story on Yuki's daughter going to Egypt or something but then again maybe not XD

This was my very first time writing, and i had so much fun writing it! Feedback for the future would be much appreciated!

I'm actually surprised that so many people read this, i didnt think Red River was a very popular manga to begin with.

Anyhow, thank you for sticking it out until the end!

~Eternally Snowy

P.S some name translations:

Piya: To have something in your grasp

Arias: To rise to the challenge

Kohana(Japanese): Little flower

Paras: Leaves/ Foliage

Sakunia: Spring