On Unions Civil and Otherwise

by Kita-Ysabell

Ten years have passed- ten years to the day- and when Utena and Anthy's engagement party goes somewhat awry, Saionji finds that some things are not so easily forgotten, and faces the bitter possibility that to make good his escape from Ohtori, he must rescue his oldest and closest friend- whether that friend wants to be rescued or not.

50. Futility

Perhaps it's futile, trying to save anything. I remember that there was a time when I was young when I tried to protect every insect that I saw sitting in the street or walking across the sidewalk. It started when, one day, I glanced down to find that I had almost stepped on a glossy black beetle, its shell bright with hidden color like an oil slick. I could have killed it, and never have even realized that I had done so.

After that, I was so worried about accidentally killing insects that I took absurd precautions to keep from doing so. I walked very slowly and carefully everywhere I went, always watching my own feet, and every time I saw one, I would stop and move it to the nearest tree or patch of grass. Beetles, crickets, snails; it didn't matter what kind of insect, I tried to save them all.

My father hated it. He said that I looked like an idiot, walking like that. After a while, he decided that he'd had enough of it, and made me stop.

That was before I'd learned not to cry. I stood there, terrified, unable to move.

But then, time went on, and I forgot.

I wonder how many bugs I've killed since that day.