4 Years Later...
It's been four years. Four years since I have last seen Logan, Carlos, or James. Four years since I've seen my mom or Katie...
I sigh, but force a smile as I watch my four year daughter Eve dance in front of me, saying over and over, "Watch daddy watch!"
"I'm watching, Eve," I tell her. Eve smiles, green eyes sparkling. She has my eyes...but has James' hair color, smile...well, everything! I was hoping it would the opposite. She would have everything of mine except for my eyes...but that didn't happen. I got unlucky. But luckily, no one has guessed that I am the one who gave birth to Eve and that she has another father.
Eve stops dancing after a while, and skips over to me and bounces up and down, like she just had a whole bunch of caffeine. "Daddy!"
"What sweetheart?" I ask her as I pick her up and set her down on my lap. She kicks her legs, and she stutters a little bit, before getting the words out.
"Can we go to the park?" She asks. I wrap my arms around her and begin to rock her. I stroke her long, unruly dark brown hair as I think about it.
"Are you sure you want to go? I thought there was that mean boy at the park?" I ask her as I continue to rock her, my chin resting on her head. Lately, when I've been at work, doing a job I'm ashamed to admit too, she's been at a babysitters. And every day, the babysitter takes the group to the park, and everyday there's this boy there who picks on Eve, and makes fun of her for only having one parent.
"I'm sure daddy. That mean little boy won't make fun of me with you there!" Eve says as she hugs me tight around the middle. My heart swells, and I can't help the small smile that begins to form on my face. I hug my daughter lightly and try to keep the tears from spilling down my face.
"Alright honey, go put your shoes on okay?" I tell her as she slides off my lap. "Okay daddy!" She says before running out of the room to the door. I go upstairs to grab a jacket for both Eve and I, then grab my phone, and keys before heading downstairs. I see Eve standing by the doors, bouncing with excitement.
But her shoes are on the wrong feet.
"Eve," I say, smiling with amusement, "Your shoes are on the wrong feet." Eve looks down, then giggles, and sits down before putting them on the right feet. She stands up as I reach her and I hand her her jacket, which she puts on.
"Ready?" I ask her as I put on my jacket.
"Ready!" Eve smiles brightly as she reaches her hand out to me. I take her hand as we walk out of the house. I shut the door and lock it before Eve and I begin to walk down the street.
"Hello Kendall," our neighbor Rose Mury, says as we pass her. She's watering her tulips. Rose is Eve's favorite neighbor.
"Hello Rose," I say politely. Eve stops in her tracks as she sees Rose cuts some of the tulips' stems and places the tulips in a basket.
"Ms. Rose," Eve says, "Why are you hurting the tulips?" Rose blinks then looks down at the tulips, then looks up at the four year old.
"Oh I'm not hurting them, Eve." Rose tells her.
"You're not?"
"No," Rose smiles, "they like it because they know they're going to be taken care of." Eve looks at the basket and tilts her head backwards.
"Oh."
"Tell you what Eve, when you come back from wherever you're going, how about you take some tulips home?" Rose says as she cuts some more stems. Rose then freezes, and looks up at me, "As long as it's okay with your father," she adds quickly.
Eve looks up at me, "Please daddy? Can we take some tulips home?" She gives me these big puppy dog eyes...and I can't say no.
"Of course we can Eve," I tell her with a smile. Eve smiles brightly.
"Okay, I'll save some tulips for you," Rose says. Eve squeals with happiness. Then we say our goodbyes and head to the park.
"You know," Logan sighs as he snuggles closer to Carlos, "Sometimes, it really hurts to think about Kendall..." He says as he traces his way across his boyfriend's arm. Carlos tugs Logan closer.
"I'm pretty sure it's the hormones, Logan," I sigh. That's right-I said hormones, because Logan is four months pregnant with his and Carlos' child. It kinda makes me jealous, because they are happy and together with a baby on the way...
Why can't that be me? Why did Kendall have to disappear?!
Logan's eyes fill with rage, "Hormones? It's not the hormones, James! If you just decided to actually feel emotion for once and stop being a drag maybe you would know this is not the hormones!"
"Okay," I say, "Now that was the hormones," I say dryly. Carlos licks his lips and glances between his lover, and me.
"Logan's right, James," he whispers, "Maybe if you..."
I clench my fists. "Do you not think I'm hurting, deep down!? God damn it-you have no right to fucking say those things!" I clutch at my head, "Neither of you know what it's like to lose the one you love! You-"
"What the hell is going on?" A now 16 year old Katie Knight says as she walks into the room. She's dressed in all black, and her hair is dyed black and she has pink stripes in her hair. She has a few nose piercings, a piercing on her left eye lid, and a piercing on her bottom lip. She's wearing gothic makeup, and her breasts are almost popping out of her skin tight t-shirt.
After her brother left four years ago, Katie didn't know how to deal with it. So, she became goth. She won't listen to anyone-not even Mama Knight. She's became a violent and angry teen, and because of it, she has no friends.
"Nothing Katie," all three of us say in unison. Katie curls her lip back, looking extremely pissed.
"That's always what it is you guys anymore! "Nothing Katie"! It's been like that since that goddamn bastard my mom calls my brother left!" She snaps. All a sudden, all I see is red. I walk up to her and grab the front of her shirt and pull her face closer to mine.
"What did you just say about Kendall?" I ask her, staring her down. She gulps and dropped the "tough gal" act. She puts her hands up and pushes me back.
"I called him a bastard. I mean, c'mon James! He left without a word, and hasn't tried to contact us for four years! The only time we heard from him when he called us on Christmas the day he left and only wished us a "Merry Christmas" before hanging up!" Katie shouts at me. "You're just too blind to see it-and when you do run into Kendall, assuming he's still alive, it's going to hurt you even more to see him try to come up with a lame excuse to why he never called," she says before stomping out.