It was almost like the incident with the rat all over again. Ste was panicking, demanding Brendan to get his car keys to they could drive to Amy, and he wasn't even sure what he planned to do after that. All he cared about was that his babies were in danger, that there was someone who knew where they were, and it was all because of him.
Brendan tried to calm him down. He sat Ste down and once he stopped shaking and hyperventilating Brendan got his phone and called the police.
"What did they say?" He asked soon as Brendan finished the call.
"DC Scott is on his way here. And they sent someone to check on Amy and the kids." Brendan sat next to him and pulled him closer. Ste buried his head under Brendan's chin, and for a second he felt safe there, breathing in the comforting scent of Brendan and feeling his strong arms around him. Then he though about unfair it was that he was safe like this, when his kids weren't. He pushed himself away and up and started to pace around.
"Shouldn't we still go there? Maybe we could bring the kids here, so you can look after them like you do with me. Only, the creep knows where I live, doesn't he? I know, we go away, yeah, pack our stuff and just leave somewhere where he can't follow us."
"Steven. You need to calm down. It's going to be okay." Brendan tried to reach for him but Ste batted his hand away.
"They are my kids, Brendan, if something happens to them because of me I can't, I don't know how to handle it!"
He walked to the stove and looked the burnt sausages and bacon on the pan.
"Your breakfast is ruined." He took the pan and dipped the contents on the trash before tossing the pan in the sink. "Everything is ruined." And then he broke down, tears pouring down and he didn't know how to stop them. There were steady hands on his shoulders, turning him around and he was pressed against Brendan's chest again, and this time he let himself to be held while wetting Brendan's t-shirt with his tears.
"I'm so sorry, Steven, I'm sorry." Brendan mumbled into his hair.
Ste had been so happy. The past week had been the best week of his life, and it felt so weird it had only been so little when he felt like had been with Brendan forever. He had woken up each day full of joy, excited to see what the day had to offer. His only worries had been Brendan murdering Noah in the studio, but even that had gone well. Ste had almost forgot why Brendan had come into his life in the first place. He had pictured their life to go on like this and now it was all crashing down.
They must have stayed there for the long time because doorbell made them both jump. Brendan stroked Ste's cheek briefly and then went to open the door, giving Ste a moment to dry his eyes. He heard greetings and then Brendan came back to kitchen followed by DC Scott and another officer.
"Shame to meet again like this" Scott shook Ste's hand. "I have talked to the officer sent to Miss Barnes apartment, but there was no one in the premises. It's okay though," He continued quickly when he saw Ste opening his mouth, "Neighbor saw her leaving with the kids just like normally to escort them in the nursery and school, and we have contacted her by phone. Everything is fine and normal with them."
"That's good, isn't it, Steven?" Brendan said, trying to comfort him. Ste managed a nod.
"What happens now?" He asked.
"There will be someone watching over the apartment for not at least. It's probably just a way to scare you though, but we can't take any risk."
"You still have no idea who it could be?"
"Sadly, no. It seems the man knows where the security cameras are in your area, and we haven't managed to track down his route. Now when we know he's been around Miss Barnes we will review the footage from that neighborhood, to see if we spot anything suspicious. Also the analysis from the knife didn't give us any more clues, there were no fingerprints on it."
"Knife?" Ste had no idea what Scott was talking about, but Brendan went still and threw a quick glance towards Ste which he couldn't read. Scott didn't seem to notice while he was going through his notes.
"So I'm afraid we know little more than the last time we spoke. But like I said, we now have bit more hope with the cameras in the area where Miss Barnes lives, so we'll do some asking around and see if we can pick up anything from the security footage. I'll let you know how we get on."
Ste didn't feel reassured but Scott seemed to be eager to leave. They bagged the letter and the photo for evidence and then they were on their way, reminding them to call if they'd remember anything useful.
Once they were gone the place fell in silence. Ste could hear his own breathing when he tried to collect his thoughts. Brendan stood and stared at the floor.
"What knife was he talking about?" Ste's voice sounded loud in his own ears. He wasn't sure was he shouting or was it because of the unnatural silence of the apartment. "Brendan? I need some answers, now."
"Steven..."
"What knife?!"
"Okay, okay." Brendan stepped closer and tried to hold him but Ste took a step back. He knew what Brendan's touch did to him, and he needed a clear head. Brendan seemed to sense his thoughts and let his arms drop to his sides. "Okay. You need to stay calm. But there's been... You have been getting more mail. Gifts. From this guy. I almost even caught him the other night, but I was too late."
"You what? When? What gifts? Brendan, just tell me!" Ste couldn't get his head around this all. Had Brendan been lying to him all this time?
"There was a... There was a heart, from a animal, okay, and the knife, it was -"
"When?" Ste thought he might throw up. "How long as this been going on? How long have you kept this from me?"
"The heart, that was few weeks ago, after your date with Douglas I think, and I just tossed it away with the trash. The knife was last week." Brendan looked worried, like he could sense how awful Ste was feeling. Maybe he was feeling too, to be exposed like this. "There was some note, how he wanted you to use it in your show, to show your dedication to him, and I took it to the police station for prints."
"When you went to the clinic." Ste realised. "That what it was about, was it? Did you even get yourself checked up, or was it a lie too?"
"No, Steven, I did go there, I swear. But that's why it took me so long, because I had to go in the station too."
"And you didn't tell me."
"I thought they would upset you. I didn't want to make you worry, okay." Brendan looked like he was in pain. "I just wanted to protect you, Steven."
"If I would have known... I could have done what he wanted, and he wouldn't have gone to my kids."
"Steven, listen to me, you can't play his games, you can't let him control you like that."
"Brendan, he threatened my kids!" He was shouting now and Brendan seemed to shrink, like seeing Ste like this was upsetting. "I would do anything to keep them safe, anything, I would have played his stupid games if it keeps him away from my children!"
"You know I care about those kids, you know I won't let anything happen to them."
"Well you're too late! It has happened! And I don't know what to do! How can I protect them? How?" Tears were back and this time when Brendan came to him he allowed it. He was too tired of this all.
"Steven, I will fix this, I promise." Brendan mumbled on his hair.
Only it was the first time when Brendan's touch couldn't calm Ste down, and he knew Brendan could sense it too.
::::::
It didn't take long after that when Steven's phone was ringing.
"It's Amy." He said when looking the screen. "I'll take this in the bedroom," and he disappeared before Brendan could ask him to stay. He would have wanted to hear what Amy had to say, but he was also very aware how hurt and disappointed Steven was with him.
It took a long time for Steven to come out and when he did he looked kinda numb and his eyes were red again.
"She's talking about taking the kids away. To Manchester, to her dad, if she manages to get time off from work and they let Leah have some time off from school."
"Steven, I'm sorry."
"I'm losing my kids, Brendan." There was so much pain in his voice Brendan's heart was breaking. "She has to take them away from me because it's too dangerous to be around me."
"You know it's not true. You haven't done anything wrong." Brendan stroked his arm and for a second Steven seemed to be comforted until his face twisted with rage.
"I haven't, have I, it's you for not telling me the truth and let me decide what to do."
"Steven, you can't give him the attention, that's what he wants, some reaction from you -"
"Well he's got one now! If he's watching he's seeing the police in my place, or in Amy's, and how my kids have to be escorted home by officers because of him! If you would have just told me and let me decide what to do..."
"So are you saying this is my fault, hmm, is that what you mean?"
"No. Yes. I don't know." Steven threw a look on him which was both angry and hurt, like he was expecting Brendan to give him the answers. "Can we just go and see my kids before Amy takes them away, please? If she even lets me in."
"Of course, yeah, anything you want." Brendan tried to keep his voice calm but his insides felt hollow. He hated the idea of Steven blaming him, but he hated the idea of Steven blaming himself more.
Their drive was a quiet one, Steven was wrapped up with his own thoughts and stared blankly in front of him. He was even curled up against the door, like he wanted as much space between him and Brendan. Brendan tried to breathe and think, but there was ache in his heart which demanded his attention. There was the fear, not just because of the kids, but fear that this was it, that Brendan had fucked it up like he always did and after this Steven would want nothing to do with him.
Brendan spotted the officer's car when he parked on Amy's street. They weren't in uniform but the newish car with two fancy dressed people sitting in it stood out like a sore thumb in this neighborhood.
"I'll go and have a chat with them." Brendan said when they got out from the car and Steven just gave him a small nod without looking at him. Brendan watched him to go knocking on Amy's door and how he was let in. Then he walked to talk with the officers.
Brendan showed them his card, and they already knew about Steven and that Brendan would be with him. They were both maybe few years younger than Brendan, polite and calm, explaining how they had picked Amy and the kids up soon as they had contacted her. She had been very upset and had took rest of the day off from work, just wanting to be with her kids. Nothing out of the ordinary had been happening since, and they still hadn't got a word about the security tape analysis.
He thanked them for the information and asked them to keep him in the loop with any new evidence. Then Brendan though he had been dragging it on long enough and made his way to the flat. He took a deep breath and knocked the door.
It wasn't long until Amy answered. She looked pale and worried, but there was also a glint of anger in her eyes when she saw who he was. She looked over her shoulder that no one had followed her to the door before stepping out and pulling the door almost closed after her.
"You said you are gonna keep them safe, Brendan." Straight to the business, then. "Is this what you meant?"
"I'm sorry this has happened, Amy, but you know the officers are working to get this resolved."
"And what about you, then, are you working hard to keep my kids and Ste safe or are you too focused on thumping him?"
Brendan hoped he would know what Ste had been talking with her. "Listen, I don't know what Steven has been telling you -"
"He's not said anything but don't think I'm stupid. I can see something is going on and how much he's changed since you came along." It seemed like she tried to pierce her gaze through Brendan to expose all his secrets. And despite the situation there was a faint hope in Brendan, that his presence would be good for Steven after all.
"Really?" He had to ask and for a moment Amy got more softer.
"Well he does seem happier. Like he can hardly stop smiling. And the way he looks at you is not completely platonic, is it? So, I'm right, aren't I, there is something between you two?"
Brendan shifted on his feet. "I think you should ask that from Steven."
"I'm asking you."
Okay. "Yes."
She let out a big sigh and studied Brendan for a long time. "In a way I'm glad. That means he has someone to look after him when me and the kids aren't here."
Brendan's heart sank. "You're really taking them away?"
"I have to, don't I? I told you, I don't want them to live in a way where's someone is constantly following them. It's not for good, just a few weeks to get them settled and hopefully by then the guy has been catch. And Leah can't stay away from school any longer than that, so. But yes, I have taken some time off from work and talked to school and nursery, and tomorrow we leave for my dad in Manchester."
"Okay. Actually I think it's a good idea."
"You do?" She seemed surprised. "Why, so there's less people for you to watch over?"
"No." Brendan tried to stay calm even though her tone was aggressive. "Because the kids don't need this, they shouldn't need to be scared to play outside. It's just Steven, I'm not sure he'll understand."
"I know. He's been pretty upset." She looked guilty. "But I'm their mother and I need to take care of them." Then she nudged her head towards the door. "Do you wanna come in?"
"Am I allowed?"
Of course. If you're Ste's... I could make tea."
"That would be lovely. Thank you, Amy."
When Brendan followed her in he saw Steven sitting on the couch with Leah and Lucas, reading a book for them. He lifted his gaze shortly to look at him before getting back to the story. Brendan listened for a while, how he read slowly and carefully to make sure to get the words right, and it seemed he was making stuff up too as he went on based on the pictures rather than the text, but the kids didn't seem to mind. Brendan had noticed it before too, how Steven wanted to avoid the reading the best he could and when he had to he went over the text several time to make sure he had got it right. Dyslexia, Brendan suspected, but it hadn't stopped Steven to make something out of himself, and it had made Brendan even more proud of him.
Brendan went in the kitchen to get his tea and Steven followed him soon after. He looked a bit calmer now, like he had accepted his fate, but there was still lot of sadness in his eyes too and he avoided looking directly at Brendan.
"How are the kids?" Brendan asked while Amy handed a cup for Steven too.
"They're fine, they don't seem to notice anything's wrong. Well, not Lucas anyways, he's just excited to have a shorter day in the nursery and hearing they're getting on a trip tomorrow. They both look forward of seeing their granddad." His voice faltered a little during the last sentence.
"It's only for a little while." Amy said and reached to stroke his arm. Brendan was surprised how jealous he got from that gesture.
"I know." Steven stared at his mug. "I just hate this."
"We all do." Brendan said but Steven still didn't meet his eyes. "The main thing is that the kids are okay, right? So we can focus on catching the guy."
"Catching who?" Leah had appeared on the doorway and was looking up to Brendan.
"Leah, why don't you go and start packing?" Amy tried to sound cheerful but Leah still kept looking at Brendan, so he knelt down.
"Nothing for you to worry about, Princess, okay? You are going to have fun with your granddad and I'm going to stay here looking after your dad for you."
"Like the Huntsman."
"Who?"
"The Huntsman who caught the wolf and saved the Little Red Riding Hood." Leah smiled.
"Something like that, yeah. Do you think your daddy would look nice in a red hood?"
"He would look very handsome." Leah said, and Brendan glanced at Steven and there was a smile on his face and seeing it made Brendan's heart beat louder.
"He would, wouldn't he? Now, do what your mummy said and get on packing, yeah? Good girl." He straightened up and Leah disappeared on to her room. Both Steven and Amy were looking at him now. "What?" He asked.
"Nothing." Amy said but Brendan was more focused on some of the warmth which had returned on Steven's expression.
"What time are you leaving tomorrow? So we know when to come and say goodbye?" Steven asked but Amy was more serious again.
"Actually, I was thinking it might be best if you'd say your goodbyes today. It might upset them and make them realise something is wrong if you come and see us off like we're never coming back."
"Are you serious?" Steven put his mug down and Amy shushed him. "You are taking them away and I can't even say goodbye?"
"You can say it today, just like every other time when you leave. That way it's more normal to them."
Steven opened his mouth but Brendan touched his shoulder. "I think she might be right. It's just like any other time you've seen them, there will just be a bit longer time between before you see them again."
Steven shook his hand off. His face was dark again, and that bottom lip was pouting out so deliciously that Brendan would have wanted to suck it into his mouth. That would have probably made Steven more mad. "I'm gonna go and see how they are getting along, " he informed and was off the kitchen. Amy looked torn.
"He'll calm down." Brendan said but she didn't seem convinced.
They stayed for couple more hours, Steven helping the kids to pack, making it seem like a game and the kids loved that, trying to pick up right clothes and laughing when their dad suggested all kind of silly things. Brendan saw how Amy tried to suggest that it would be time for the kid's tea soon or other polite ways to let Steven know they should leave, but that only lead Steven to cook them like he wanted to prolong the moment he would have to say goodbyes. And the way Amy looked Steven when he was plating the food, chatting with the kids, she looked as reluctant as Brendan felt to say that it was time to leave.
Finally Steven seemed to understand he couldn't drag it on forever. The kids came to hug and kiss him for goodbye, all excited about their little holiday and Steven tried to stay brave, smiling brightly even though Brendan could sense he was in his breaking point.
"Ask mummy if you can call me, alright, I want to hear how you are getting on."
"Of course we call you, Ste," Amy assured, "And we'll be back in few weeks."
"I know." Steven hugged the kids one more time and kissed their heads. Then Lucas surprised Brendan by coming to him too for the first time, even though his hug was very brief before escaping back to his mum. Leah hugged her for a longer time and when she was done she studied Brendan's face.
"Are you sure your not my dad's boyfriend?"
"Would you like it if he was?" Steven asked and Leah gave a mighty nod.
"I like him. He should stay."
"Maybe he will, then." Steven said and for the first time in what seemed like hours looked Brendan before his smile got sad again. "Okay, we better get going then, remember to call me, yeah? Love you."
Both kids and Amy said it back while they made their exit. There was a new car now on the street with new officers sitting in it, but they didn't look any less suspicious than the first one had been. Brendan nodded at them when they walked past them to his car.
"Steven..." He tried when they were in the car, but Steven shook his head.
"Don't. I'm fine."
He didn't look like it. He looked like he was about to cry again, or that he would break if Brendan would touch him, so he didn't. They drove back to his instead and the silence felt smothering. Once at Steven's, he went straight into the sofa and curled himself up, like a small and vulnerable child.
"There's no messages from Scott." Brendan tried, but he doubted if Steven even head him. After a few minutes of silence Steven reached for the remote and turned the TV on, but his eyes kept staring in the distance and not what was happening on the screen.
Brendan peeked in the fridge but even when there were groceries in he didn't come up with anything he would feel comfortable trying to cook. He knew how to make coffee and breakfast, but apart from crème brûlée and some soup he didn't trust his skills. But Steven needed something to eat, he had hardly had anything at Amy's and boy needed to keep his strength up. So he looked up the Chinese restaurant's take away menu and phoned in their order, hoping he remembered Ste's order right. It took about half an hour for their food to arrive and Steven hadn't moved from the couch the whole time.
"What's this?" He frowned when Brendan placed boxes in front of him on the coffee table and sat next to him.
"Dinner." He informed and delved into his own dish. "Eat up."
"Not hungry."
"Steven. You need to eat. Come on." Brendan stared him long enough that Steven finally picked up his food and poked it around with a fork. "Good lad."
After nibbling his dinner a bit Steven put the dish down. "I'm not hungry." He said again. "You can finish it. I'm gonna have a shower." He pushed himself up and started to make his way into the bedroom.
"Steven?" When he turned to look at him Brendan had to ask. "Do you want me to sleep upstairs?"
"What? No." Steven was frowning. "Why would I?"
"It's just... If you're still mad at me you might not wanna..."
"Don't be stupid." Steven was looking at the floor. "I just need to think, okay?"
"Okay. See you in a bit, then?"
"Yeah." And off he went. It was obvious he didn't want company this time, so Brendan tried to focus on the TV before giving up. He put the remains of Steven's food in the fridge and turned off all the lights before heading into the bedroom.
Steven took a long time in the bathroom, and when he finally emerged he looked bit more of himself but there was still some kind of wall around him. Brendan took his turn and once he came back Steven was already in bed, lying under the covers and back towards Brendan's side.
He got in carefully and shuffled as close to Steven as he dared. He reached his hand around him to his belly and Steven didn't push him away. Brendan moved a bit closer so he could breathe in the familiar scent of Steven from his neck.
"I'm not mad at you." Steven said in the dark. "I'm just.. feeling hopeless."
"It's okay." Brendan stroked his belly. "You can feel how ever you like, it's normal to go through this. And you can blame me all you want, I know I did wrong when I didn't tell you."
Steven turned over so he was facing Brendan. It was dark and hard to see much more than the outline of him and the gleam of his eyes, but he could feel Steven's breath on his face.
"Why didn't you?"
"I told you. I thought I was protecting you. You were so happy and I wanted you to stay that way."
"I was happy. I am happy. I just don't like you hiding things from me."
"I'm sorry."
"And I do know it is best for the kids to go away for a while, and they love to see their grandpa, it just feels like I'm losing them."
"You won't. I won't let that happen."
"You don't know that. What if they'll never catch the guy?"
"Then I will. Even if it's the last thing I'll do, I'll catch him and make sure he won't ever threat you or the kids again."
Steven's hand reached to Brendan's jaw, gently scratching his beard.
"You really would, wouldn't you?" His voice was quiet and amazed, like there had never been anyone else in his life who would put him first.
"Of course I would. Steven, I'd took a bullet for you if I'd have to, to keep you safe."
"Don't." He moved closer, pressed himself against Brendan, placing urgent kiss on his lips. "Don't say such things. I can't lose you, you need to promise me."
"It's just an expression," it wasn't, he had meant it and Steven knew it from the way he kept hugging himself closer. "I promise. You ain't getting rid of me now."
"Good." Steven kissed him again, and for a long time there was nothing else than his soft mouth against Brendan's. When he pulled away his thumb kept stroking Brendan's bottom lip. "And did you mean what you said, the other night, about seeing me on telly and, you know, fancying me?"
"Yes." Brendan knew Steven could feel him getting harder against his belly. "Ever since I first saw you I couldn't stop thinking about ya. And when Anne brought you on my doorstep... "
"Was I different than you expected?"
Brendan held him tighter. "You were better than I could have imagined. So much more than just a fancy piece of ass."
Steven pushed Brendan until he was on his back, and then he straddled him, grinding their groins together.
"I wanted you too, the first time I saw you. I never stopped. I want you now."
"I can feel that. Put on the light. I want to see you."
Steven reached for the lamp, and once it was on he grabbed the lube. Brendan stroked his hands on Steven's flat belly, let his thumbs scrape down his treasure trail and the pubes above Steven's hardening dick. Steven dropped the lube on his chest and continued to move his hips like a dancer, every movement making Brendan more ready for him.
He took the lube, squirted some on his fingers and Steven rose up just enough for Brendan to slide his hand between his legs. The lube was cold and Steven shivered when Brendan pressed his fingers on his hole, but soon he was pushing down against his hand when Brendan kept rubbing him, and when he finally slid his fingers in Steven let out a long sigh before starting to rock on his digits.
Brendan was burning for him but seeing Steven loving his touch was so good too and he could have gone on forever just fingering him, but it seemed Steven needed more, rising up from his fingers. Brendan stroked the residue of the lube on himself and then Steven grabbed his cock, shuffled bit forward and sunk on to him, slowly until Brendan was all the way in.
For a moment he sat there, gasping, fingers scraping over Brendan's chest while his body got used to the stretch. Then Steven started to move, slow movements with his hips searching that spot which would make his body feel like it was on fire.
Brendan could feel when he found it, when his whole body seemed to tense and his noises turned louder. He took a hold of Steven's hips and rose up so he was sitting and Steven was in his lap, and the movement made Steven gasp out. He flung his arms around Brendan's shoulder and kept on rocking, his moans vibrating against Brendan's lips when they leaned their foreheads together. Brendan wrapped his arms tighter around Steven and started to thrust up to meet his movements.
"Brendan."
It was so full of need and Brendan could tell Steven was close. He slid his hand around Steven's cock and started to stroke it in rhythm of their movements. Steven's noises were loud cries and Brendan was aware of his own grunting while he tried to press Steven closer to him, push in deeper, no amount of closeness feeling enough. Steven's nails scratched Brendan's shoulders and then he was coming, spats of cum hitting both of their bellies. His whole body was shaking and he pressed his face closer to Brendan's, panting on to his mouth, his eyes looking straight to him like he could see Brendan's soul. Brendan had no control of the noises he was making while he made his few last thrusts before coming into Steven, and he was filled with that feeling again, overpowering sensations hitting on him when he knew he had found his home.
::::::
The next day Ste had managed to get through his show somehow and was changing his clothes in his dressing room when his phone rang. He was alone because Declan had called Brendan just when they were about to leave his car, and after making sure several times that Ste would be okay he had stayed outside to talk with his son. Ste knew they were probably planning about Declan's visit and it excited him despite everything what was going on. It was still weeks ahead and hopefully this situation would have been resolved by then.
Now he grabbed his phone and thanked heavens that Brendan wasn't there, because he saw Doug's name flashing on the screen.
"Hiya." He answered and already felt ashamed how fake his cheerful tone sounded.
"Hi," He didn't sound as cheerful,"Don't worry, I'm calling purely for professional reasons."
"Listen, Doug-"
"No, you don't have to say anything, ghosting me for these past few weeks made the message loud and clear."
"I'm sorry, I really am, my life has been such a mess and I -"
"Anyway, our office had your channel on and I saw you on screen and it reminded me to call in and arrange a time for the cover shoot."
"Cover shoot?"
"For your book. The E-book is nearly there and the printed version is almost ready to hit the press, just in time for Christmas season. We have some snaps from the shoots we did in your place which might be suitable for the cover, but I think we could take few more and then decide which one looks the best."
He sounded completely professional and distant which made it obvious how hurt he was. Ste knew he had a good reason – since he started sleeping with Brendan he hand't been replying any of Doug's texts. He owed him an explanation.
"Errr, that sounds good, yeah."
"How is your next week? Tuesday? Wednesday? We might squeeze you in for Thursday but the beginning of the week would be best for us."
"Tuesday, then?" Ste was pretty sure he had that day off from Tony's and he could always change his shifts.
"Great. You wanna come over straight after your time in the studio, or later in the afternoon?"
"Straight after."
"I'll mark that up."
"Okay. Doug, I'm really sorry I haven't been straight with you, but if you'd know what's been going on..."
"I just, really thought we hit it off. But I guess it didn't happen for you, and that's fine. You should have told me though, instead of keeping my hopes up." There was a higher pitch in his voice now, from frustration.
"I know. I'm sorry." He was. He had liked Doug. Maybe in some other universe they would have ended up together. Only then the thought was replaced with the knowledge that in every universe he would have been drawn to Brendan, until he had found him one way of another. They had been drifting towards each other all along.
"It's fine. But be honest, Ste, please. It's that so called roommate of yours, isn't it?"
"Yeah. Turns out he's not that straight as I thought."
"I kinda figured that out the way he kept rubbing his ownership all over you." Ste was glad to hear some humor creeping back to Doug's voice.
"He what?"
"Never mind. I better get going, then. I see you next week, alright."
"Okay. Bye then."
Ste ended the call, made sure he hadn't left anything in the dressing room and started to make his way out. Only once he pulled the door open he almost stumbled on Noah. What was it with these guys today?
"What are you doing here?"
"No need to be rude." Noah acted annoyingly pleasant. "I just saw your Irishman outside and thought this could be my change to have a chat."
"How many times I need to tell you, I'm not interested." Ste tried to push past him but Noah didn't budge.
"Why can't we just be friends? Would it be so awful? We work in the same station so it would be beneficial to come along."
"Well I'm not going to stay here much longer, am I?" Ste noticed Noah surprise. "I only have few months left in my contract so by the end of the year I'm out and you don't have to worry about us being friends." He managed to wiggle past him and started to march towards the elevator, but Noah followed him.
"Look, Ste, I know I was bit of a dick when I left you, but I hope that's not the reason why -"
"Oh get over yourself, will you." Ste snorted. "My leaving has nothing to do with you. And I'm well over you too, so run along and leave me alone."
"Well I'm glad to hear you have no grudges against me." They had reached the elevators and Ste pushed the button, praying one to arrive soon. There were people coming and going and Noah dared to move a bit closer, dropping his voice. "I'd really like it if we could patch things up. Bury the hatchet. Maybe have a drink, as friends." He gave Ste appraising look and Ste couldn't believe the nerves that guy had. "You look really great these days, what's your secret?"
Elevator blinged and group of young women came out. Ste turned to look Noah straight in the eye. "Amazing sex life. Something I never got with you. There's just something about nine inch Irish cock, you know." He stepped in and the last thing he saw when the doors closed was Noah stunned face and few of the office girls laughing so much their mascaras were running.
He went out the back and saw Brendan standing leaning against his car. There was relief on his face again soon as he spotted Ste and Ste could sense his desire to hold him, but held back because they were in public.
"Alright? Ready to go?" He asked instead and once they were in a car and they drove out the gates he placed his hand on Ste's thigh. "Do you wanna grab a coffee, from that place you like? I'd could use one."
"Aww, are you tired from last night?" Ste teased. He had wanted comfort from Brendan's body more than once.
"Did you hear me complaining? I have nothing against dating such a nympho." Brendan grinned.
"We'll need to get your coffee then, so you can keep up with my needs." Ste laid his hand on top of Brendan's and stroked his thumb over his knuckles. "Bren, I had a call for Doug."
"What? The fuck he's calling you for?" Brendan was instantly frowning.
"Because of work, Bren. My book. It's almost done and they just need me to go in for a cover shoot or something, give my opinion about the results."
"When?"
"Week from now. Next Tuesday after my show. Is that okay?"
"Of course, yeah. As long as little Dougie doesn't try anything.."
"He won't. He's got the message. You know what he actually said? That you have been rubbing your ownership on me." He laughed and there was a little smirk on Brendan's lips too.
"Well he better keep his hands off you. Not having you snogging him in front of my eyes anymore."
"I might, just to get you jealous." Ste smiled. The he said more carefully, "I also run into Noah again."
"Fuck's sake. Either you burn yourself when I leave you alone for a five minutes of get surrounded by suitors."
"Yeah it seems you were right, he did try to get it off with me."
"Are you serious?" Brendan clenched the wheel. "Right, I'm going to go and -"
"You won't do anything. I sorted it out. I don't think he'll try anything again."
"If he's decided to want you back he will -"
"He won't." Ste stroked Brendan's arm and could feel the tension in his muscles. It excited him again, to see how much Brendan needed him. "I told him he's bad in bed and that I'll get my satisfaction from... nine inch Irish cocks these days."
"You what?"
"And there were other people around and I think if there's one thing what Noah hates it's the public humiliation so I'd say he's never going to bother me again."
"Jesus, Steven." Brendan pulled the car in the parking sloth and turned to look at him. "I can't believe you said that."
"So I guess soon as those girls tell their friends and they tell their friends it won't be long until the whole building knows you're banging me." Ste bit his lips. "I should have asked you first, I'm sorry."
Brendan shook his head and the he burst out laughing. Ste had never heard him laugh like that, like he couldn't stop. Then he grabbed Ste's neck with both hands and pulled him closer for a kiss. Ste could feel him smiling against his mouth.
"Well I guess that's one way to make it obvious who you belong to," he said once he pulled back.
"Oi, why is it always me being the one to belong to someone? You're mine just as much."
"I am, aren't I?" Brendan said quietly while stroking Ste's lip. They looked at each other and the answer was clear between them. Then Brendan pushed his door open. "Come on, let's get us that coffee."
::::::
Brendan had told Declan about Steven. He had been more nervous than he had been with telling to Cheryl, but to his relief Declan had sounded pleased. He had been eager to hear all about him, and when he heard Steven worked in telly he instantly informed that he would google him up.
Brendan also told him that he pretty much lived with Steven now, but that Declan would still be welcomed to stay, either with Cheryl or in Steven's place. It had been Steven's idea, the house was so big that there was plenty of room for one teenager. It was only three more weeks or so for Declan's holiday and Brendan was looking forward of seeing him again and introduce Steven to him. Needles to say Steven would be first man Brendan's sons would ever meet as their dad's partner. He hoped Steven would be the only one.
He had been worried how Steven would handle the news of Declan definitely coming, now when he had just had to say goodbye to his own kids. But he was excited, already planning what kind of foods he would make, vegetarian and vegan ones for Brendan's horror. He had such a big heart, and always trying to focus on now and on the future, and he clearly wanted to make a good impression for Brendan's son. It warmed him more than he could say, to see Steven wanting to come along with him so much. He also tried not to think how there was about same age difference between Steven and Declan than there was between Steven and him.
They felt the absence of the kids through the whole week, even when they did call Steven almost every night it wasn't the same than going to see them when ever Steven had free time from his jobs. He was bit more quieter than what Brendan had used to, but Brendan could tell how hard he tried to stay positive.
Brendan did his best to take his mind off things. He took Steven shopping one afternoon, and pampered him with several pair of nice underwear to replace some of the old baggy ones he had. He took him out to eat, or walk in the park, but some part of him was constantly alert and scanning their surroundings and Steven must have been too, because neither of them could properly relax outside Steven's apartment. Even Brendan's workouts were short until he rushed back in to Tony's, even though he knew Steven would be surrounded by other people and there was no way someone could just walk in the kitchen and snatch him up.
The one thing that seemed to make both of them stop thinking was sex, and they had loads of it. Steven was starting to be quite a demanding power bottom and Brendan had nothing against satisfying his needs. He got his pleasure from giving pleasure to Steven and the boy knew it. Now when he had learned what turned Brendan on or threw him over the edge his moans became most filthiest sounds Brendan had ever heard, and the looks he gave for him under his long lashes were mixtures of shy virgin schoolboy and horny expert he was quickly becoming. And now when they had established their stance in the roughness levels Steven's bum was constantly marked with bite marks and bruises from Brendan slapping or kneading it, and Brendan's whole backside from shoulders to bum was covered in scratches. Steven had hinted he wouldn't mind to get tied down and Brendan already had several plans in mind how to make most of that type of situation. He was sure they wouldn't be able to do anything the whole week Declan was going to stay with them, because Steven was loud when ever he had Brendan's fingers, tongue or dick in him, but he was also sure that Steven wouldn't like that thought at all.
On Saturday Brendan got a call from Anne.
"Hello mister, and than you very much for keeping touch with me," her voice told him she was joking, "I have been dying to hear all about your little romance with golden boy, the whole studio is buzzing about it."
"Are they?" He groaned. Steven had made him wait in the car whole week during his show, because he still couldn't believe Brendan could handle himself around Noah. The boy was probably right.
"Apparently your Steven has been singing praises about your... Irishnes and the girls love to think of you two together. You should hear them."
"Not really interested about imagination of female sex, am I?" Brendan grunted and Anne giggled.
"No, you aren't. And to be honest I don't think they can truly imagine you two together because they don't know you that well. Me, on the other hand..."
"Jesus, Anne."
"I'm just teasing. But seriously, how are you doing? Steven seems to be very pleased but what about you?"
"No complains. Well, if you don't count the creep terrorising him..."
"Ah, yes, Ste did mention the about the new twist. Still no news from the police?"
"Nope. I have no idea what they are doing there, but it seems to take a long time to review some footage."
"Maybe they haven't found anything and are too ashamed to tell you?" Anne tried to sound cheerful. "But you and Ste, you are okay?"
"Yeah. He's working right now and I'm hanging in the restaurant. But yeah, we are okay. When it comes to things between us, it's better than I could have hoped for." He was silent for a second. "I told him about Vincent."
"Oh." She seemed surprised and no wonder. Brendan hardly mentioned that time of his life. "How did he take it?"
"He was jealous, could you believe. Shocked too, I guess, but he was more interested about what I had with Vincent than rest of the stuff."
"That's... That sounds like it went really well. I'm so proud of you for telling him."
"Yeah?" Brendan fidgeted on his seat.
"Yes. He's quite special, isn't he, if he gets you open up like that. Or can keep you in his bed longer than one night." Brendan could tell Anne was smiling.
"He is. I'm not gonna lose him, Anne."
There was a long silence and Brendan wondered what Anne was thinking and how possessive he had just sounded.
"You know," She finally said, "I'm really surprised the creeper hasn't got the message yet. Anyone who's willing to go against you has to be insane."
::::::
Ste had worked all weekend and had Monday and Tuesdays off from Tony's. On Monday he and Brendan had hardly moved from the flat, but instead spent hours in bed and then laying on top of each other on the couch while watching crappy movies between all the touching and kissing.
"I'm just a sex toy to you, aren't I?" Brendan asked when Ste had a satisfied stretch after being sucked off again.
"And a coffee maker." Ste teased and stroked Brendan's hair. "Like a multi tool or something."
"Well, I'm glad to be at service." Brendan pulled Ste's trackies back up and then crawled up and laid on top of him, nuzzling his neck and throat. Ste could feel his teeth scraping over his skin, searching for the perfect stop to sunk into.
"Wait," he gave Brendan a nudge, "You can't leave any markings so high, where they might show."
Brendan made a disappointing grunt and settled to just kiss him there before pushing himself back up. "I don't know Steven, it might look good to have you posing on a book cover with my teeth mark on your throat."
"Should I show them the ones on my belly and thighs too?" Ste smiled. "Become the new 'Naked chef'."
"Jamie Oliver should be worried." Brendan pushed Ste's shirt up just a bit so he could run his fingers gently over the bite marks he had left on top of Ste's tattoo the night before. "Although I'm not sure I'd like the idea of others seeing you nude."
The possessiveness in his voice sent shivers down on Ste's spine. Since he had told Brendan about the photo shoot and meeting Doug again Ste had noticed what Doug had meant about Brendan rubbing on his ownership; he had been even more intense in bed, leaving his markings all around like wanting to imprint himself on Ste for good. Ste was pretty sure that it wasn't very healthy to get so turned on by it, that this level of attachment wasn't right, yet it was everything Ste had ever wanted. He had realised it since the first night they had spent together, that all his life had craved someone to want him this badly, need him just as much as he needed Brendan.
"They wont." He assured. And then he suddenly needed to feel that desire again, so he pulled down the collar of his loose T-shirt. "They wont be seeing my collarbones either, will they."
Brendan gave him the knowing, smug look before dipping his head down, licking the area Ste had revealed before biting down, sucking the skin until he was satisfied with the bruise. When he tried to move away Ste grabbed him and pulled him forward, so he could bite Brendan's chest in return. It was the first time he did that, the markings he left on Brendan were scratches and once bruises on his arse when he was pulling him deeper, and he heard Brendan's surprised sigh before he relaxed and let Ste suck a love bite on his skin.
"Happy now?" He asked once Ste pulled away.
"Yup."
"Good." Brendan smiled to him with warmth in his eyes and for a second he looked like he was going to say something more, and Ste felt sudden rush of hope – but then he just leaned down to kiss him once more before getting away on top of him. "Come on, put some clothes on and we'll get you something to eat."
"But I'm not hungry." Ste complained.
"I know you, being too nervous about tomorrow, but you need something in you. Something other than me." Brendan continued when he saw Ste open his mouth. "Come on, that Italian place you like, yeah?"
Brendan was determined and in the end, once they managed to get out the house and in the restaurant Ste did enjoy the food. Even when they didn't do much touching in public he could feel the fresh bite mark on throbbing in his collarbone and he knew Brendan could feel his just the same. And once they were back in the apartment they were already hungry for each other again. Before Ste fell asleep, half laying on top of Brendan, head on his chest and listening his steady heartbeat, he did wonder would that hunger and desire ever go away, that one day they'd get bored to one another. Somehow he couldn't see that happening.
The next morning, while getting his make up done for the cameras Ste crossed one another day off in his mental calendar. End of his contract was getting closer by each day, and the he would be free from publicity. He had always dreaded the future, not knowing what would happen and where he would end up in, but now he had Brendan to focus on. Life had so much more to offer when there was a gorgeous Irish man in it.
He hardly paid any attention to the quick pasta dish he was making and was surprised how soon he was done and the cameras were turned away from him. He was rushing off the set when he came face to face with Clarke.
"Good job Ste," he said and gave him a pat on the back, "I was supposed to call you but now when you're here, we should arrange a meeting regarding your future here with us."
"Err, yeah, lets do that, only I'm in a hurry right now. I have the last photo shoot for me book and I need to get there soon as I can." Ste hoped he didn't look as eager to get away from the situation as he felt.
"Ah, yes, I was informed about that. How about end of the week, then? Say, Thursday? At noon? Looking forward to seeing you then." And then he was rushing off without giving Ste any change to agree. Just as well, he thought while going into his dressing room and changing his clothes, there was no point drag it on any longer and he could inform Clarke on Thursday that no amount of money would keep him on board another year.
When he got out he saw Brendan chatting with Jeff. He was wearing the same blue shirt than the first time Ste had seen him, and he looked even better now than he had back then – mainly because now Ste knew what lied underneath the tight fabric, how Brendan's skin and body hair felt against his hands. And when Brendan spotted Ste and his expression changed slightly it was that knowledge that Brendan was his, which made him more irresistible in Ste's eyes.
They both made their way to Brendan's car.
"Alright?" He asked from Ste. "Ready for your cover pic?"
"I hope they have some good make up artists and editors." Ste groaned while checking his hair from the car's mirror. "I look like a mess."
"Steven, you look grand." Brendan gave him appraising look. "It's impossible to get a bad pic from you."
Ste felt himself blushing. He waved his goodbyes to Jeff while they drove out and Brendan followed the GPS's instructions towards the publisher house. It wasn't a long drive, and they soon reached the area with lot of tall, posh looking buildings with all kind of brand names hanging on top of the entrances. Brendan found the right building and they got out.
"Blimey, this building is massive." Ste looked up. "Almost as tall that the fancy office building where we had our party."
"The building is the last thing I remember from that night." Brendan threw a hot look towards Ste who grinned back to him. "Come on then, lets get you immortalised for you book."
They made their way in the entrance and stepped in through the massive glass doors. They were greeted by a man in the front desk.
"Good morning, may I have your name, please?"
"Ste Hay, I have a meeting with Doug Carter."
The man clicked through his computer and handed Ste a visitors pass. "Here you go, Mr. Hay. Mister Carter is in here in any minute." Then he gave Brendan a look. "And you are?"
"Brady," Brendan said, "I'm here with Mister Hay."
"I'm sorry but I don't have you on the list." Man said. "You are not being marked as a visitor for today."
Ste gave Brendan a worried look. He hadn't thought about this. Of course Doug had no idea who Brendan was and why Ste needed him with him. To Doug Brendan was just Ste's roommate slash boyfriend. Brendan opened his mouth and looked like he was ready to start arguing, but Ste noticed few guards on the other side of the lobby giving them suspicious looks.
"Bren." He touched his arm. "Don't. It's just a photo shoot, okay, and I'm with Doug the whole time. I'll be fine."
"I don't want you to go alone." Brendan frowned. The guy in the desk gave them some curious looks and Ste steered Brendan a bit further so no one could hear them.
"I'll be with someone the whole time. Look at this place, there security is on top notch, yeah. I don't want you to go all mad and get yourself throw out by those guards."
Then Doug arrived from one of the hallways.
"Hiya Ste. Oh, Brendan."
"Douglas." Ste wondered did Brendan even try to hide his dislike.
"Bren was just dropping me off." Ste explained. He turned to give Brendan one last look. "I'll call you once we are done, okay?"
"Okay. I'll be just outside the building if you need me. And you, Douglas," Brendan directed his words to Doug, "Don't let him out of your sight, you hear me?"
"Err, okay." Doug looked confused and Ste could only imagine how this all seemed to him.
"See you soon." Ste said and gave Brendan's arm one last squeeze. Brendan looked like he wanted to kiss him, but they hadn't done that in public yet, so he just gave a grave nod. Ste started to follow Doug out from the hall and when he turned to look behind him before they reached the elevators Brendan was still looking after him.
"So, I guess there's no point asking how you've been, because you look really good." Doug broke the awkward silence during their elevator ride.
"Thanks." Ste tried to focus on what was going to happen instead letting his thoughts drift back to Brendan. "So, what are we going to do now?"
"I thought you might wanna go over the pics we have chosen for the book and then we could focus choosing the cover image. This way." He showed the way through corridors and past different office rooms. After a while Ste was pretty confused on which direction they had come from.
"This place is massive."
"I know, it took me months to learn how to move in here, and they are still expanding. You saw the other building right next to ours? It's going to be our second branch and this building is going to get connected to it. In the future our studios will be there. Here we are."
Ste felt like they had walked a mile from the elevators to large room with several computers and different kind of equipment. This time Ste recognized Simon who was alone in the room, doing something what looked like editing pictures.
"Hello again." He greeted when they entered the room, saved what he was doing and stood up.
"Hi. Is this your office then? Looks really nice." Ste looked around curiously.
"Thanks, yeah, this is where we have been working on your pics. Where the magic happens." Simon made a mystical movement with his hands and made Ste laugh. "Is this the first time you see your book?"
"It is, yeah, I'm dead excited."
Doug went into one of the computes and did some clicking. "Come and see then, I hope you like it."
He indicated Ste to sit down in one of the office chairs and took one himself, and they sat side by side while Simon stood behind them. It was strange to see the results on screen, recipes written down in a stylish font and different sort of decorations on sides of the pages. In some pages there were also pics of Ste cooking, and even when he hated watching himself he had to admit that the crew had done a good job to make him look presentable. Both Doug and Simon kept explaining things to him, how things could be changed if Ste didn't like them, but Ste was more than impressed by what he saw.
"It looks really nice," he said, "I can't believe it's actually done."
"I'm sure it will sell well." Doug smiled. "Are you ready to go over the cover pictures?"
"I am, yeah."
"I'll get them." Simon moved to pic up a memory stick.
"Actually, would you like to have coffee while going through them? Sorry, I should have asked earlier." Doug rose up. "I can go and get us some, to help us focus."
"That's a good idea, this might take a while." Simon agreed.
"Black for you, right? And Ste, how you like yours? We have a fancy cafeteria downstairs, they have anything you'd like."
"Latte, please."
"Okay. I'll be back soon, you'll go ahead and I'll catch up when I'm back." Doug strolled out the room.
"Okay, let me just..." Simon leaned over Ste to stick the memory stick on it's place and opened the file from it. "These are some snaps from your place we thought might be good, if you want something more casual in the cover."
Ste had no idea he'd been photographed so much during the days. The pics were cropped so there wasn't anyone else on the shot, but some of the pics he looked like he was either listening to someone or watching them, smiling. There were few snaps from middle of his baking and one where he was tossing the flour so it was a nice action shot.
"There's so many," he said while the diashow played on. "How on earth can I choose?"
"This a nice one." It was Ste licking a spoon. "Something playful, maybe?" Simon suggested.
"I don't know. Maybe you guys should just choose one, I can't."
"Wait. I have some more." Simon reached to his back pocked and fished out another stick and connected it to the computer. He was still standing and when he leaned to grab the mouse he was almost touching Ste. He opened a album and pressed on the diashow. There were more snaps of Ste, but these were close ups.
"Err, I don't want to have just my face on the cover." Ste shuddered. He was becoming too self aware while watching all these photos of him. Then there was a pic of him with a bloody finger, when he had cut himself. Another, and another, each zoomed closer to the blood, to the tissues he and Doug had tried to press on the wound. Ste was suddenly very cold. "I didn't know you saved these."
"Of course I did." Ste could feel Simon standing very close to him. "I saved one of the tissues too, managed to take it before anyone could throw it away." The diashow went on and there were other pictures now, of Ste on the streets, or getting into his house, or in park with his kids. There was a hand pressing hard on Ste's shoulder, but Simon's voice was soft when he spoke. "Steven, you have no idea how long I have waited for this."