Chapter 17: Shattered 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Friends.

A/N: It's a little bit depressing but I think the next chapter will be sadder. This was inspired by two songs; Shattered and You're Not Alone.

IMPORTANT: This is a re-upload! Skip to the end! I didn't realise the ending didn't save.

Thanks to Rachel Dykes-Weasley, dizuz and Mermaid Mania for reviewing!

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Yesterday I died, tomorrow's bleeding, fall into your sunlight. ~ Shattered by Trading Yesterday

I've been right there for every minute. This time, it's no different. Whatever happens you should know you're not alone, girl. Look over your shoulder you don't have to wonder. Cause you're not alone girl, I'll be there to hold you. I'll stay till it's over. ~ You're Not Alone by BTR

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Darkness, was all she saw.

Grief, was all she thought.

Nothing, was all she felt.

Patricia sat silently on the side of her bed in the dark with silent tears streaming down her pale cheeks. The only light in the room was the coming from the digital numbers of the teen's clock, flashing 05:21.

She listened to all the sounds around her, there was none. She closed her eyes tightly and tried to think of the last time she saw him. The last words they spoke to each other. The last outfits they wore when they were last together. The brunette silently admitted that she was happy that they were ones said out of love instead of hate.

It happened so suddenly, with no warning what so ever, that just confirmed her fear of the unknown, the unseen and the unheard. And everything she did was out of depression so she just stopped doing things except important things like eating seeing that everyone encouraged her to eat.

Her thoughts went back to him. It wasn't the first she lost. She had a baby brother, Cory, but he died when he was three when their mother was punishing them. It was a sheer accident. Who was she going to lose next?

Hopefully my mother, Patricia thought but quickly shot it down the second she thought about it. She was not the jaded kind or the one to hold a grudge. The brunette decided to give her mother a chance seeing that Frannie must have been grieving just as much as her. Maybe even more.

She sniffed again and wiped her tears away. The brunette slide of the edge of her bed, her feet making a small thud when they hit the ground. Patricia slipped on her slippers as she fixed her hair so it wasn't a complete mess. She walked quietly down to the kitchen and grabbed a big bag of chocolate chip cookies, a bottle of Coke and a glass. Patricia snuck back up to her room quietly and placed everything carefully on her bed. The teen flicked through the channels and stopped at The Fresh Prince of Bel Air.

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There was a knock on the door while Patricia was wiping her tears. She turned her head to the doorway before quickly hiding the cookies and Coke.

"Patricia, are you up?" A gentle female's voice asked from behind the door.

The brunette got up wordlessly and opened the door to see one of their maids, Maria standing there. She studied the maids face to see her with red eyes which was the only evidence that she was crying. Patricia knew that Maria and Stuart had always gotten on well and Stuart was very kind to Maria. He brought her into the family and gave her a job when her family was very poor.

"I have to inform you," The Latino said as she cupped the teen's cheeks and wiped her tears with her thumbs. "That the funeral arrangements are being organised in an hour…so..."

Patricia nodded and hugged Maria tightly as she felt tears seeking to fall which she let them too. The maid hugged her back; she held her close and stroked her hair while telling her words of comfort.

A few minutes later, the teen girl had calmed down again and Maria sat her down on her bed. The two said nothing for a while, just letting the silence sit in the air as they got lost in their own thoughts. The Latino broke the quietness when something came to her mind.

"Em I have to go the drycleaners later, what are you wearing to your father's funeral and tonight for the funeral home?" Maria asked softly as she moved over to the girl's closet.

Patricia followed her and took out the outfit she was going to wear for her dad's funeral. She handed it to Maria. "It's just this outfit that needs to go to the drycleaners."

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Patricia got ready for the funeral home. She was wearing: ( wwwDOTpolyvoreDOTcom/outfit/set?id=71487188). The brunette walked out of her room and stopped at the top of the stairs. She took a deep breath as she looked down before walking slowly down the stairs and into the hallway. The teen walked into the big living room to see loads of people there to sympathise with the family.

Her blue eyes quickly fell onto the coffin that was in the living room that contained her Dad. She felt tears prick at the back of her eyes as she walked over to the side of the casket. Patricia studied Stuart. He was wearing his favourite suit, his hands fell down to his sides, his skin was white, and his facial expression was blank.

"I love you, Dad." Patricia said softly, letting a few tears slide down her cheeks as memories played in her head. She shut her eyes and took a deep breath as a lump formed in her throat. "I-I d-don't know what I-I'm going to d-do without y-you."

The brunette scanned the people that were in the living room. They were all familiar faces with sympathetic looks unless they were family members, they looked broken.

Patricia made her way over to her older brother who quickly enveloped her in a hug. She returned the hug and buried her face in the crook of his neck while he placed a hand on the back of her head. They said nothing. But there was nothing that needed to be said. They knew how each other felt because they felt the same way.

The brunette slightly envied Derek as he got to spend their dad's last few seconds with him while she was in London. But it didn't really matter at the end of the day. Stuart was gone, never to come back.

Everyone came up to them and their family, one after one, shaking their hands and saying they were sorry for their loss. How was that supposed to make it better, Patricia thought, it wasn't going to bring him back. Although she was grateful for everyone's thoughtful gestures she was also going through the five stages of grief. The teen had completed the first stage, denial and isolation. She was now going through the second one, anger.

It had just dawned on Patricia that there was about more than a hundred people her and yet she still felt the loneliest person in the world. She felt a hand take hold of hers and she looked beside her to see Jessica smiling sadly at her. The brunette looked down to see her mother crying, she looked heart broken. Patricia never saw her like this, ever and this made her heart hurt for mom and her gentle nature sympathise with her.

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Patricia looked straight in the mirror in a cold stare. She then looked down at the sharp blade that she held tightly in her hand and was pressed closely to her wrist but there was just enough space for air to get through the gap between the blade and her wrist. Not once had she cut, it never even came to her mind but something clicked in her mind.

She felt something warm trickle along her wrist, she did it. The brunette let out a sigh of relief, it felt so much better then she expected. She heard a knock on her bedroom door so she quickly pressed a towel against her wrist and luckily for her the bleeding had stopped quickly.

Patricia exited her bathroom and went to her door to answer it. Kendall was standing behind the door with his gaze set on the floor. He raised his gaze so that his green eyes met her eyes and his bangs swopped across forehead.

"Hey, I'm so sorry Patricia." Kendall said softly before grabbing her and hugging her tightly. He felt her hug back and he smiled to himself. Honestly, he thought she'd be awkward around him ever since they kissed. "I just want you to know you're not alone and I'll be there for you and Derek if you need me."

That's practically what Patricia had heard all day but she was grateful for it from Kendall seeing that she might have cut a vein or something. They pulled slightly apart so that they could see each other's faces.

"Wanna talk for a while?" The blonde asked.

Patricia nodded and led him over to her bed. They both sat down on the edge. The two shared glances but smiled. Kendall locked eyes with her and the brunette placed a hand on the back of his head at the same time he put a hand on her back.

They pressed their lips together and they moved in perfect sync against each other. The blonde deepened the kiss and placed a hand on Patricia's waist as they fell back on the bed.

To be continued…..

A/N: Well this isn't a cliff-hanger but it's still one of these to be continued moments. So please review Friends fans! Also do you guys want more Mondler? I love Mondler but I just want to know do you want more. Cause in the next chapter I can get a good bit more in.

Review! :D