Himayura Hidekaz owns Hetalia.

Warning- May contain some racial slurs or "speaking the lord(s) name in vain." I don't mean to offend ANYONE!

APHAPHAPH

Ludwig curled Eduard's hair in between his fingers while reading. Eduard was resting his head on Ludwig's shoulder. This is what he was asked to do, and he wasn't about to disobey. He was about to fall asleep, but the phone rang, and he jumped in surprise. Ludwig chuckled softly at him and marked his page.

"There's nothing to be afraid of. It's just the phone." He said in a sarcastic concerned tone. Eduard didn't dare to talk back to him. He just looked away when he felt his face heating up. He got off of Ludwig's shoulder so Ludwig could get up.

Ludwig placed the phone by his face. "Hallo?"

"Oh good, you are home~! It's Ivan! How's Eduard treating you?"

"Oh, Ivan!" Eduard perked up at that name. "He's wonderful! I've never even temporarily had one so tamed before."

"That's great! I have a BIG offer for you dealing him! Okay, so..." Ivan took a deep breath. "I will pay off any debt that Alfred has, including whatever Matthew needs to go home and stay immune to slavery. PLUS, I will let you keep Eduard!"

'Is he serious?!' Ludwig couldn't think of what would POSSIBLY make Ivan offer him all of THAT, for ONE boy, besides the fact that the boy is American. "...Why?"

"I was really hoping that I wouldn't have to explain." Ivan paused to take anotehr deep breath. "So, I have a half brother. I saved him from "bullies" when we were younger. Ever since, he's been trying to marry me-"

"Was?!"* Ludwig interrupted. 'Did I hear that right?'

"Yes, I know. I only love him as a brother. Anyway, Alfred saved him from a drunk man a few nights ago. Yes, my brother could have saved himself, but Alfred went out of the way to tackle this guy, who had a weapon, with only his clothes to defend him. They drank a little, and that resulted in drunk sex. Even when Nicolas- my half brother- got drunk in the past, he would only go after me."

'What is he implying..?'

"I even have a slave who is so infatuated with him, that he tries and tries again to go out with him, even though Nicolas breaks his limbs."

"Okay, so... Alfred..."

"Yes, see... Even the day after, they have been getting along, amazingly enough. I think, if they're pushed in the right direction, they can actually make it as a couple. Even maybe marry! Marry each other! Not me!"

"So you want to buy Alfred, so your brother would leave you alone, and maybe een marry someone who ISN'T you..."

'Wait a second... Did I hear correctly?' Eduard had to think about Ludwig's words over and over again. 'No... That's... No.'

"Pretty much."

"Um, well... I'm a... I'm sorry, but..."

"But why not?! You HAVE to take my offer! Do you want more money for whatever?! YOU GOT IT! And I thought that Eduard was wonderful! I'm BEGGING YOU! PlEASE!"

Ludwig had to pull his phone away, until it was quiet for a few seconds. "...Are you done?"

"Is Eduard not good enough? I'll give you Toris, and even Ravis, my purple-eyed little boy!"

"R... Really? How bad is it, really?"

"Words, in any language, can't describe it... It's just... Well, do you have a sibling?"

"Actually, I do... An older brother." Ludwig sighed. 'I REALLY don't like where this is going.'

"Well, imagine your little brother trying to break his limbs, and/or kill Alfred, or ANYONE who gets close to you, because... Well, they're close to you. Also, imagine if he was, quite literally, clinging to your back and scaring off anyone who's even around me- I-I mean, you."

'Does Nicolas really..?'

"Now, imagine that your brother FINALLY found somebody else, who he loves, and that person loves him back. Three people are happy, and no one dies in the end!"

'Wow... I... I really don't want to say "no" to this, but, it's not all about him...' He sighed. "I'm sorry. Your slaves are all already broken. I can't really take pride in that. However, if I were to break Alfred, THAT would be something to be proud about. Maybe, if I were to break him, I will think about it."

"But it's because he's strong, and brave, that my brother is attracted to him! You can buy another slave with the extra money I would be giving you."

"Um... I'll... I'll think about it... Okay?"

Ivan sighed in relief. "Oh, thank you Ludwig! I hope to talk to you, soon!"

"Yeah... I'll talk to you soon." Ludwig hung up and quickly turned around on his heel. "Tell me about Nicolas."

"Wh... What was he saying?"

"Tell me about his half brother, and I'll answer that question..."

aphaphaph

'He's been infatuated with me for so long... Both me, AND Alfred told him that he's my blood, and that I don't love him THAT way, but... It may not even work... Oh, I know!' Ivan smiled to himself and walked around the house in search of Alfred.

Alfred reading one of his few books he had in English. He walked in, while practically singing his name. "Alfred~! I need to see you~!"

Alfred's skin paled a little. "Y-Yeah... Just let me get to a good stopping place..."

"Okay, I'll wait right here." He sat in an empty seat, until Alfred put the book down. "Is that a good book?"

Alfred shrugged. "It's interesting, at least. 'Something to do. I really prefer comic books, though."

"Really? I'm afraid that I don't have any of those, not even in Russian. Follow me, please~!"

Alfred nodded and followed Ivan upstairs, and across the long hallway. He saw Nicolas on the way, but he wasn't sure if he saw Alfred. Ivan also noticed him, and smirked.

Ivan locked the door, once Alfred was inside of his room. "I think you understand what I want with you." Alfred nodded and sat on the bed. He stared at the floor, while waiting on Ivan. '"Not broken?" Does he act different, when his brother isn't involved?'

"You know what? I think you would just look beautiful with blood on you..." Ivan walked over to a cabinet, and pulled out a whip. 'I hope this works...'

Alfred's eyes widen, and he backed away. "Wa-Wait! People probably won't pay money, o-or at least, not as much money, if my body is scarred! Ludwig would be furious!"

Ivan tested the whip out in the air. It made a loud "crack," which made Alfred yelp and jump. "He said that I can do ANYTHING to you. This is what I want to do~!"

"But my brother- you can't... It would take longer for him to get home, if at all... Pah-Please... I-I'll do anything... I-I'll even cut myself. At least it would fade. P-Please!"

Ivan only smirked and practically jumped on Alfred. He tried taking his pants off, despite Alfred's screaming of "No," "Stop," "You can't..." He eventually got them off, along with his boxers.

"Big brother!" Nicolas screamed from outside of the door. "Let him go, big brother!" He started banging on the door.

'It's working~!' He smirked. "Why should I do that, Nicolas? Ludwig DID say that I can do WHATEVER I wanted with the boy."

"Because... Just... Do it!"

He chuckled. "Da, I DO plan on "doing it," eventually."

"Not with him!"

'That's it~!' Ivan held back the giggles that were bubbling up in his throat. "So~, you are saying that I can do whatever I want with ANYONE ELSE?"

"I... No... I meant... I want you to do it, with me, instead... Open this door, already!"

'Sure you do.' He chuckled childishly on purpose, and tilted his head, as though Nicolas could see him. "But I don't want you that way. You're my BLOOD, brother! Half or not! I love you, but I can never love you like a, well, lover."

"I know, but..." Nicolas started banging on the door again. "I love you, and I want to get married..." He finally punched the doorknob out of the door, and got in. Both Alfred, and Ivan, yelped, when he saw a doorknob flying across the room.

"Not again!"

"Don't worry, I'll replace it." Nicolas looked at Alfred for a split second, before looking away when he saw that the boy was half naked. "D-Don't hurt Alfred, okay? He's... He's not yours, and he can't steal you away from me if he goes back."

"What?" Alfred snapped. "I am NOT trying to steal Ivan away from you!"

Nicolas' eyes narrowed. "What do you mean by that?"

"I already told you, didn't I? There's another, more beautiful man in this house, and he's fun to talk to, too! It's so much fun, that I look forward to having something to talk to you about, so we can have a long discussion about that thing!"

Nicolas' cheeks turned a bright pink. "Except you tend to go off topic, a lot."

"You know something about his personality~!" Ivan chimed in.

"Big brother... Ivan..." Nicolas sighed. "I... I know what you are trying to do."

'Oh crap! Shit... Shit!' "What... Do you mean..?"

"You're trying to get rid of me! But... You're trying to get rid of me, by making me happy with another man. That just confuses me, and makes me love you even more!"

"Wait a second..." Alfred looked at Nicolas, then Ivan, before looking at Nicolas again. "...What?" He looked up at Ivan, again. "Really?"

"Da. I even tried to convince Ludwig to let me pay off your debt, so you can be free to talk to Nicolas, and make him happy."

"Wow... You... Are a very loving brother."

"Of course. I love my family, but only as family."

"Um, so... What... Did Ludwig say?" Alfred asked. He was almost afraid of the answer.

"He said "no" a few times, before finally saying "I'll think about it." He didn't sound too sure, though... I even offered him all three of my slaves, plus some extra money."

"Are you really that annoyed with me?" Nicolas asked in disbelief.

"It's not that! Alfred is the only other human being in the world that you can be comfortable with talking to, and well... Being with, altogether."

"But... He's just a slave..." Alfred cringed at that word.

"Right now, he is, but just say the word, and I'll try anything I can to make sure he's free. I'll at least try to convince Ludwig to let you visit him, in the mean time."

"I... When you say that, it just makes me love you even more! You are willing to do SO much to make me happy... How can I not love you more than I already did?"

'Oooooh crap.' Ivan paused to think of something to say. "U-Um... Do you want to talk to Alfred about it, alone?"

Alfred cleared his voice. "Actually... I kind of... I mean, I don't want say that I want to go out with Nicolas, and then become free; but once I am, I realize that I don't love him..."

Nicolas' eyes widen. His heart stung a little. 'Why did it... I don't...'

"I mean, it will be great if I DO love him, eventually, but I just don't want to say that I do to get free. Do you understand what I'm trying to say, here?"

Ivan nodded. "I think so. That's why I would try to convince Ludwig to let Nicolas visit you. It's so you two can get to know each other, better. I'll even give you my phone number, so if you really want to continue talking to him, you may."

Alfred smiled softly. "I can do that. I would love to do that!" Nicolas couldn't help himself, and he smiled slightly.

"I think I would like that, too... To be completely honest. I have so many unanswered questions about America, and Texas."

"Then it's settled! I'll write my number down for Alfred, and then I'll write down directions for Nicolas~!"

'Did he forget about doing anything with me?' Alfred wondered. 'I'm still half-naked...'

APHAPHAPH

"Was" - "What"