AN: Thoughts on 3.17, Dia de Muertos + Sicarios + Family, at the end of this chapter, with spoilers.

FANCY RESTAURANT

(SO NOT THE GANG'S SCENE)

(THEY'RE MORE THE TWO-FOR-ONE TACO TUESDAY TYPE)

NEW YORK CITY

'…Sweetheart, really? A college drop-out? You can do so much better…'

Jack, wearing a smart navy suit, sans tie, reached across the table to put his hand on Riley's. The hacker, wearing a very elegant cocktail dress with matching heels and jewellery, pulled it away and shot Jack a look, though not before glancing at Mac, who was sitting next to her, wearing black-framed glasses, a tweed suit jacket and dark grey slacks. He was pretending to not pay attention to the whispered argument (at least, Riley was whispering; Jack was as loud as ever) going on between his 'girlfriend' and her 'dad' and instead perusing the wine list.

'Dad, we have covered this. Aaron dropped out of CalTech because the tech start-up he founded when he was seventeen was taking off. Now he runs a multi-million dollar Silicon Valley engineering firm.' She crossed her arms stubbornly. 'Besides, I love him, and that is all that matters.'

Mac, rather awkwardly, took a sip of his wine, and smiled his most wholesome smile at Jack.

'…so, sir, Talia told me that your Shelby Cobra is one of your most prized possessions-'

'And why'd you know anything about real cars, eh, pretty boy? Bet you drive one of those hybrids? Or one of them electric cars?'

'Dad! Seriously, lay off him, or I am going to tell Mom-'

'Well, yes, my everyday vehicle is a Tesla Model 3, run off solar-generated electricity, of course, but I've been restoring a classic Harley-'

'Which I bet you're gonna use as a showpiece in your living room, or something like that...'

'Well, it is currently in my living room, but I don't plan for it to stay there, it's kind-of a long story, honestly…'

PHOENIX FOUNDATION HEADQUARTERS

SOMEWHERE IN LA

As they watched the feed from Mac's camera-glasses, Jack's James-Bond-gadget watch and Riley's audio-visual-recording necklace, Bozer and Jill, seated in the war room armchairs, struggled to suppress giggles as they watched Jack constantly drag Mac.

Matty, standing in front of the big screen, let her amused little smile show too, even as she put her hands on her hips and admonished Jack when he got a little too excited and into character.

'Eyes on the prize, boys.'

Said prize was the two Mafia dons having lunch, their phones on the table beneath their hands, two tables behind Mac, Jack and Riley.

As they watched, Riley got up in a huff, grabbing her purse.

'Honey, we're going.' Mac obediently got up. She rounded on Jack. 'Dad, I am talking to Mom about this. You cannot behave this way towards the love of my life.'

'Sweetheart, you are way too young to be declaring this…this long-haired, too-blonde hooligan the love of your life!'

'I am twenty-eight years old, Dad! I am not your little girl anymore!'

Riley and Jack were really getting into it, and as they watched, Riley made an extremely frustrated and angry noise, and reached out and slapped Jack.

Mac, shocked, reached out towards his 'girlfriend', putting a hand on her forearm.

'Talia, honey, I think you should calm down-'

She pulled her arm free from his grip and glared at him, and Mac gulped, put his hands up, and took a few steps back, as restaurant staff swarmed in to try and defuse the situation.

Conveniently, he took the steps back in the direction of the Mafia dons' table, as the two men complained angrily to a very frazzled and frightened waiter.

He stumbled into the waiter, grabbing the table to steady himself, planting a tiny bug that'd allow Jill to download the contents of their phones (they'd swept for bugs before sitting down for lunch, but they were counting on the fact that they wouldn't during), before apologizing profusely to both the waiter and the two now-nearly-growling Mafia bosses, looking suitably terrified and embarrassed.

Then, he hurried away to join Jack and Riley, who'd been half-herded and half-dragged by the waitstaff to the restaurant's exit.

Yeah, we're definitely getting banned…

PHOENIX FOUNDATION HEADQUARTERS

SOMEWHERE IN LA

On Saturday evening, Mac, Jack and Bozer climbed out of Jack's car in the Phoenix carpark, Jack scarfing down the last of one of Bozer's burgers (made with lean turkey and plenty of vegetables), since he'd been too busy driving to really eat (aside from snatching some bites while waiting for the traffic lights to change), unlike Mac and Bozer.

(They'd been at Mac and Bozer's, having a guys' night in and watching the Warriors in the play-offs.)

They'd just made their way to the entrance when Riley's car pulled up, and the hacker, wearing high-heeled boots, a stylish asymmetric skirt and a cold-shoulder top with statement earrings, stepped out.

(She'd been having a girls' night out with Jill and Beth. Clearly, since she was alone, Matty had seen no reason to call the analyst or the doctor in.)

Jack grinned and rubbed his hands together, before spreading them wide.

'Nothing like a Pentagon security breach to bring the family together on a Saturday night, eh?'

(Matty had given them a quick briefing over video-call on-route. This was time-sensitive.)

We do always try and find a little light in the darkness…but this is stretching it.

There are far better things to do on a Saturday night than chase down thousands of gigs of stolen classified intel and whoever stole them, national security implications notwithstanding.

Mac shook his head with fond exasperation, while Bozer made a yeah…nah face and Riley snorted as they strode through the front door.

'Yeah, I'd rather have the margaritas and nachos, Jack.'

'…Definitely margaritas and nachos.'

Riley muttered under her breath as they filed into the war room. Inside stood Matty with a tall, ridiculously good-looking man of about thirty beside her. He was wearing fitted slacks and a dress shirt, the sleeves rolled up, top couple of buttons popped, hands in his pockets, shirt artfully half-untucked, like this outfit really wasn't his thing. He had really great bone structure, dark hair and vividly blue eyes, and had a cocky air about him. A slow smirk grew on his face as he took in Riley, all dressed up, looking her up and down for a moment too long that both she and Jack really didn't like.

'Hey, Riley.'

Mac, Jack and Bozer started a little, heads whipping comically in synch between Riley and the stranger.

They knew each other?

Riley crossed her arms, tilting her chin up a little as she made eye contact with whoever-it-was-she-had-a-history-with.

'Long time, no see, Parker.'

Mac, Jack and Bozer all glanced at one another, Mac and Bozer a little wide-eyed, Jack seemingly starting to imagine all the ways he could go about interrogating this Parker.

They knew each other. In that way. It was that kind of history.

Matty broke the awkward silence.

'Parker, meet Jack, Bozer and Mac. Jack, Bozer, Baby Einstein, meet Parker Donaldson, CIA white-hat.'

In the war room, Riley and Parker sat on opposite sides, Riley on the couch, Parker in an armchair, both typing rapidly, as they tried to trace where the data had wound up and who'd stolen it in the first place.

They hardly spoke to one another, aside from occasional conversations full of technical lingo that neither Bozer nor Matty could understand.

(Mac and Jack were in one of the Phoenix jets, ready to go wheels-up at any moment, once Parker and Riley got some kind of physical location.)

There wasn't much tension in those conversations.

(Riley wasn't surprised. They'd always been good partners in this sense.)

(Being partners in the other sense, on the other hand…they hadn't been very good at that.)

Still, there was enough in the air that Bozer would occasionally glance awkwardly between Parker and Riley, then at Matty, as he paced around the war room.

(Matty just rolled her eyes and mouthed professionals at him.)

A few minutes later, Riley made a noise of triumph and looked up from her laptop.

'Got a location for the data. Server farm in North Carolina.'

Matty nodded, a small smile appearing on her face.

'Good work.' She turned to Parker. 'Location on the hacker?'

He didn't even look up from his laptop.

'No, whoever they are, they're good. Really, really good.' He seemed to be struck by an idea and looked up from his laptop and smirked at Riley. 'But we're better, aren't we? Remember that time we tracked down the Wells Fargo hacker?' They'd occasionally dabbled in white-hat work back in their mostly-black-hat days, just out of boredom and for the challenge. His smirk widened a little. 'It was very memorable…'

Riley looked up from where she was sending the coordinates of the North Carolina server farm to Mac and Jack and the jet's pilot, and glared at him in a way that made Bozer shudder a little at the reminder of how Riley used to glare at him from time to time, before he'd gotten that kick up the ass he'd really needed.

(It was scary.)

Matty, too, shot Parker a look.

(She had, after all, just been insisting to Bozer that the two white-hats were professionals.)

Thankfully, Riley was one, at least. Her voice was all-business when she spoke.

'It might work.'

Her nails clacked on her keyboard rhythmically for a few seconds, before a window popped up on Parker's laptop, the code that she was writing growing before his eyes. Parker started typing too, and the code grew faster, the two of them working almost-seamlessly together.

The CIA white-hat grinned, a cocky tilt to it.

'Just like old times…'

Riley rolled her eyes.

Parker, caught up in coding, didn't notice.

Bozer and Matty definitely did, and Matty shot Bozer a significant look. Bozer, a touch sheepish (yeah, he'd been a bit of an ass to Riley back then…nothing like seeing your own bad behaviour mirrored to drive that point home), just nodded.

SERVER FARM

NORTH CAROLINA

'…all I'm saying, brother, is I don't like the way he looks at her! I got a sneaking suspicion I'm gonna have to go all Wookie on him...'

As they approached the nondescript building, Jack continued to grumble about Parker, which he'd been doing every moment of their entire trip from LA to North Carolina when they weren't busy looking through all the intel on the server farm Phoenix techs had managed to dig up.

Mac suppressed his annoyed sigh (Riley was the closest Jack had to a daughter, after all), and turned to his partner.

'Riley's an adult, she can more than look after herself.' He spread his hands reassuringly. 'And she's got Boze and Matty watching her back right now.'

Jack sighed, acknowledging the truth the blonde spoke.

'Yeah, I know, son. I know.' He shrugged. 'You know how I worry…'

Mac nodded with a smile.

'Oh, I know.' He clapped Jack on the shoulder. 'It means you care.' He paused. 'Riley doesn't need you to go all Wookie on him for her. In fact, I don't think she'd be happy if you did.' Jack nodded, a fond little smile on his face. That was Riley. Stubbornly, insistently independent and keen on proving it. 'But she knows that you would do it, and that's what matters.'

They reached the entrance to the server farm, and Mac got to work examining the fancy, partly-electronic lock, before pulling a paperclip, a stick of gum and his Swiss Army knife from his pockets, absent-mindedly unwrapping the gum and putting it in his mouth, then folding the wrapper and slipping it between two components of the locking system and starting to unwind the paperclip.

'Uh, oh…'

Mac and Jack stared down the corridor, at the four big men in balaclavas, fifty feet away. The blonde spoke, addressing the team back at the Phoenix, glancing at the custom Phoenix USB he'd stuck into one of the server racks.

'Riley, Parker, have you worked out what rack the intel's in?'

'56 C, fourth from left, Mac.'

Mentally, the blonde searched the map of the server farm he'd memorized.

'Brother…now would be a really good time for one of them ideas…'

He blinked. The four big guys were advancing.

'Run!'

And he took off, Jack hot on his heels.

'Seriously, man, that's the best you could come up with?'

'Left here! And I'm working on it!'

Mac skidded to a halt beside the rack Riley had indicated, and shoved the USB device into it, pressing a button to start downloading the contents. Then, he ran several racks away and pulled out some wires, making some strategic cuts in the insulation, as Jack, his gun in hand, turned from where he'd been watching for the bad guys through the mess of toppled server racks Mac had left behind to glance at his partner.

He grinned childishly as he realized what his partner was probably making, and despite the situation, Mac just gave a fond little head-shake.

'Yeah, it's an electric whip.' He held one out as the older man jogged over to him, still looking gleeful. 'Be careful.'

TEN MINUTES LATER

Jack pulled the balaclava off bad guy number four, snapping a photo for Riley and Parker, as Mac finished tying him up.

Then, they got up, Jack dusting off his hands, and strode out of the server farm, leaving the four weakly-stirring baddies behind.

Jack pulled out his phone as they headed off, dialling Matty.

'Hey, boss. You might wanna call the cops.' He stepped over the remains of a server rack. 'And a clean-up crew.'

There was a loud bang as one of the racks, destabilized by something that Mac had done, fell against a wall, breaking through the drywall and a four-by-four, then landing on the floor on the other side.

Then, each and every one of the lights flickered out.

Mac rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

'Yeah…we definitely need a clean-up crew on this one, Matty.'

He could see her putting her hands on her hips and looking at him in frustration and exasperation when she replied.

'What did you do this time, Blondie?'

PHOENIX JET

ON THE TARMAC

(HEY, JET FUEL IS EXPENSIVE)

NORTH CAROLINA

Mac and Jack sat in the jet's technical/analyst area (the space that Bozer called Riley's Batcave), conferencing with Riley, Parker and Mattty back at the Phoenix.

'…the intel wasn't on that server. We were tricked.'

'But what was on it was a clue.'

Next to Riley's head, several lines of code appeared.

Mac's face scrunched up a little in thought. Jack just made a confused face.

'What does that mean, Ri?'

Parker chipped in, nudging Riley out of the frame.

'We have no idea, but we're going to find out.' More text appeared next to his head. 'We got this off the dark web, posted by someone who claims to be behind the Pentagon hack.'

The text scrolled as Mac and Jack read, with the older man speaking when they were done.

'Wait, so this is some kind of Amazing Race for baddies, with the grand prize being all this stolen classified intel?'

Riley nodded.

'Yeah, except all the clues…' The cryptic lines of code reappeared. '…are like this.' Her nails clacked on her keyboard a few times, and then the driver's licenses of the bad guys Mac and Jack had taken out at the server farm popped up. 'These guys are opportunists, not hardcore criminals or hackers. But we've found at least twelve other teams who've entered the race, and some of them are definitely pros.'

Parker's head took over the screen again, making Riley shoot him an annoyed look.

'Thirteen, actually.'

There was a very deliberate throat-clearing behind the two white-hats, and then they both moved off to the side so Matty could take centre stage on screen.

'We need to get that intel back, and we can't let any of these thirteen teams get it. So, Jack, Blondie, congratulations. You two have just become contestants in this twisted Amazing Race.' Matty gestured to Parker and Riley. 'They'll be guiding you two from here.'

Jack grinned and rubbed his hands together.

'Like a real life video game!' He made a face as he realized something, then pointed at Riley, very seriously. 'You better make sure we don't die! We ain't got lives, so no letting the Koopa-Troopas or the Goombas get us!'

Riley gave a snort, as Parker raised an eyebrow in a way that was almost derisive at Jack.

(To be fair, Jack didn't seem like the kind of guy who was into Super Mario.)

(He was a deadly ex-Delta Force, ex-CIA covert operative, after all.)

'Duly noted, Jack.'

SUBURBAN INDIANAPOLIS

INDIANA

In the middle of the night, Mac and Jack crept through backyards. They were searching every computer in every house on this block.

(Riley and Parker had tracked the next 'clue' to this location, somehow.)

Fortunately, Mac didn't need to work his B&E magic on every house.

Instead, Jack was just walking around looking like a bit of an idiot, holding his phone aloft.

(Between the three of them, Mac, Riley and Parker had come up with some on-the-fly mods to Jack's phone to allow them to search each computer remotely.)

They were also creeping quickly, because there were bad guys on their tail.

Lots and lots of bad guys.

Mac hopped down off the fence that led to the next yard, and jerked his thumb at it.

'We have a problem.'

As if to punctuate that, there was a loud bark from the next yard.

Jack sighed, as he moved his phone into a better position, as instructed by Parker.

(Rather snootily. He really didn't like that guy.)

'No chance that's one of 'em fluffy, harmless ones?'

Mac shook his head.

'Nope.' He was already rooting around the trashcan. Jack caught a nasty whiff of something fishy and sighed again internally. This meant his partner would be a little smelly for a while, and when he complained, he'd get a lecture about some chemicals he was pretty sure were called amines. Mac pulled out what looked like rotting meat offcuts and a hunk of really smelly cheese. 'So we need a distraction.' He passed them (thankfully wrapped roughly in newspaper) over to Jack, who took the bundle very reluctantly, pinching his nose. 'When I tell you to, toss that over the fence, at the far right corner.'

Mac had ditched the trash and was now raiding the gardening shed. He pulled out a long trowel, a broom and one of those things that looked like a giant fork, and started attaching them together with some duct-tape he'd found in there.

Jack, meanwhile, just held his stinky parcel as far away from himself as possible, grumbling under his breath.

If the really pretty waitress at their favourite Mexican restaurant or Mrs Harwood's daughter from down the block could see Mac now (or rather, about a minute ago, when he was rooting through trash), maybe they wouldn't be quite so keen on him.

(Not that Mac had really quite noticed. The waitress spent three months trying to catch his eye, and he didn't notice until she left her number on the receipt when it was his turn to pay. He kept recommending nutritional supplement mixtures for Mrs Harwood's daughter's sore post-workout muscles, which Jack was 100% sure was not what she was after.)

(Jack did not get why – rather occasionally – someone would mistake him and Mac for father and son.)

(No son of his would be this hopeless.)

(His boy tended to need the direct approach, especially when he was convinced that the lady in question could not possibly be interested in him or he simply wasn't interested in her. In hindsight, Jack could not blame Nikki for her rather outrageous and innuendo-heavy flirting, or Allie – apparently, according to Bozer – for just telling him that she still liked him.)

(Jack loved his boy dearly. But being around him when he was really stinky, thanks to rooting through trash with far too much enthusiasm, and giving a science lecture, forgetting his audience– which was pretty Mac, honestly – took some of the glamour and sheen off.)

(He maintained that his honestly nutty and really pretty creepy and out-there theory that James MacGyver had Frankenstein-ed Dr Bethany Helena Taylor into existence – grown her in a tank or something, Jack didn't know, he wasn't a scientist - as some kind of 'gift' for his son in apology for all his wrongs held some water.)

(As in, he was 99% sure it wasn't true, but when Bozer made that movie about Mac's life – which he and Riley maintained would be better as a TV show – years into the future when it was all declassified, he could totally get away with putting it in there for some added drama.)

(Case in point: months ago, when he and Mac had taken a dip in some sewage to save the Panamanian ambassador, poor Beth had had to deal with the aftermath.)

(Now, with him and Mac being him and Mac, there'd been bickering and stories as they'd sat on their beds in the infirmary after they'd been hosed down, but were still very, very stinky.)

(Her reaction to the fact that Mac had once had an antique toilet in his dining room?)

('I assume it was sterilized and not connected to any plumbing?' Then, after being reassured that yes, it had been sterilized, and was definitely not for use for its intended purpose in the dining room, 'You really managed to obtain an original Thomas Krapper prototype? From where? How?')

(Her reaction to the really gross way that soldiers used to break in their leather boots, which Mac was – hopefully - joking about using to break in a new pair for Jack, since he'd just ruined the pair that Jack had just gotten broken in right?)

('If you do use urea to soften the leather, please use the store-bought variety, Mac.')

(See?)

Mac now had a claw-lever hybrid of some kind in his hands, and was poised to climb the fence. Both of them could hear the noise of some of their fellow 'competitors' drawing ever-closer.

'Now, Jack!'

Jack happily tossed away his smelly bundle.

A couple of minutes later, the dog (big, black and vaguely Shepherd-like) was gnawing happily on his stinky treats, nearly done scarfing them down, they had the clue in hand, Jack was safely on the other side of the fence and Mac was perched on it, looking back into the yard with the dog, using that claw-lever thing to prise the metal staple that kept the end of the dog's leash firmly stuck in the ground out.

He got the staple out, and then hopped off the fence, ditching the device he'd built into the yard (the owners could just pull off the duct-tape and their garden tools would be good as new), and reached out to grab Jack's shoulder.

'Come on, let's get out of here.'

Jack made a face, pulling away.

'Brother, hate to be the one to tell you this, but…'

Mac had one of those moments that Jack called (in his head) 'buffering' moments, where some bits of his brain caught up with the rest that was racing ahead, sighed and sniffed his shirt-sleeve, before making a face.

'Ah. Right. Sorry.'

PHOENIX FOUNDATION HEADQUARTERS

SOMEWHERE IN LA

With a satisfied smile, Matty crossed Team No. 4 out with a big red cross.

They'd just been picked up by Indianapolis Police, cowering in a backyard thanks to the owners' excellent guard dog.

'…it's clearly an allusion to Watergate, send Jack and MacGyver to D.C.'

Parker, with an easy smirk, crossed his legs and propped his feet up on the coffee table. Matty glared at him until he put them back on the floor again.

(Riley hid a smile. Matty didn't even let Mac get away with it, and despite the fact that Bozer had won her over first, she was sure Mac was the favourite.)

The hacker hit a few keys, and her laptop screen appeared on the big screen.

'Or, if you run it through a variant on a Caesar cipher, you get this.'

Parker just shook his head immediately.

'Nah, it can't be. The Watergate reference just makes sense.'

Riley crossed her arms, balancing her precious rig on her lap.

'That's the reason you've got?'

Parker just shrugged in a way that was arrogant and utterly infuriating and she'd once found very attractive (shamefully – teenage Riley clearly had not had the best taste in men).

'I was right about the last clue…'

Riley took a deep breath.

She couldn't kill him.

She couldn't even kick him where it really, really hurt.

She was a professional, and this was her job.

(Still, she was totally going to make a little change to her Resident Evil 7 mod that allowed her to turn the Molded into just about anything. Blowing up Parker Donaldson – digitally – was definitely going to the top of her to-do list after this mission.)

ON A MOUNTAIN

(YES, REALLY)

(IT'S COLD AND WOODED AND THERE IS NOTHING INTERESTING HERE)

(UNLESS YOU'RE REALLY INTO TREES)

COLORADO

Thirty feet up a tree, Jack squinted and held the stick he was holding (to which his miraculously still-mostly-intact phone was taped) out further. He wiggled and waggled it around, searching for that sweet-spot.

No luck.

He hollered down at the ground, where his partner was moving tree branches around and arranging them strategically.

(Mac was better at traps. He was also terrified of heights.)

(Jack had decided to do his partner a solid and volunteer to do the tree-climbing.)

'Still got no reception, brother!'

(There was no reception here in the backwoods of the backwoods of Colorado, but that was kinda the point, apparently.)

(Apparently, there would be a few sweet-spots where they could get reception, and as soon as they couldwithin this ten mile radius, they'd get the next clue.)

(At least, that's what the last clue told them anyway.)

Mac looked up, shielding his eyes from the sun with a hand as he squinted up at Jack.

He pointed to the left.

'Try this tree!'

Jack groaned.

'This is the fifth tree already, man! Haven't you got some cool gadget you can build out of a pinecone and some sap and my aviators that can find one of them sweet-spots?'

Still, he was already climbing down the tree, and lost in the foliage, missed the blonde's extremely exasperated look.

(Not that he needed to see it to know. Jack was very familiar with exasperated Mac.)

(Actually, he was very familiar with just about all the moods and faces of Angus MacGyver, even the ones he'd really rather not have ever known existed.)

(You'd think that given his fascination with locks and fondness for keeping his private life private, Mac would have remembered to lock the door of the van, but apparently Nikki was very distracting.)

(Mac claimed brain-bleach was impossible. And not impossible in the way that he could make possible.)

(Jack held out hope.)

'A, I am busy with this.' He gestured to the disused mine shaft (which was not well marked on any topographical maps; he and Jack had found it by nearly falling down it, and Mac was taking lemons and making lemonade) which he was covering with a canopy of leaves and branches to resemble the rest of the forest floor. 'And B, the last time I used your aviators for something, you attempted to give me the silent treatment the whole way home. You might have only lasted fifteen minutes, but it was really disconcerting…'

PHOENIX FOUNDATION HEADQUARTERS

SOMEWHERE IN LA

With a smile, Matty drew red Xs over Team No. 8 and Team No. 12.

They'd just been winched out of a disused mineshaft in the middle of nowhere, Colorado, by some FBI agents who'd owed her a favour.

'…No offense, Riley, but your theory simply doesn't hold water. It can't possibly be-'

With a triumphant smirk, Riley turned her laptop around to show Parker that yes, it definitely could be and definitely was.

'You were saying?'

(It was a little mean and really petty, but he deserved it and it felt so good.)

She was pretty sure a muscle twitched in Parker's jaw, but he recovered, as he always did, and resumed his languid pose as he kept typing away.

Bozer stowed his phone back in his pocket, grinned and reached out and fist-bumped Riley, mouthing awesome burn, lady! at her. Riley smiled back at him, only for her mood to be soured again as Parker updated Matty, who'd just walked back into the room.

'Riley and I have worked out that…'

Riley rolled her eyes and walked out of the room before she did something she might regret later when she got written up by HR.

(Though, maybe she could have gotten away with it.)

(Matty would know the truth. She always did.)

In the bathroom, Riley splashed a little water on her face (thank God for waterproof mascara – especially the Phoenix's truly incredible formulation which Mac, Jill and Beth had tweaked just two months ago – seriously, if any of the three of them wanted to be rich, they should just start a makeup brand), and groaned, bracing her hands on the sink.

She knew Parker could be arrogant and condescending and competitive.

(She'd kind of forgotten how bad he could be, though.)

He'd been like that before they were together, before she'd kicked his butt. More than once.

Back then, she'd thought that once she'd proven herself, she'd earned his respect.

Now, in hindsight, she wondered if he only stopped being like that when she paid attention to him.

(She'd certainly gotten a little obsessed with kicking his ass - and hence with him - back then, when he was an ass.)

Jill slipped into the bathroom, wearing her usual work clothes, rather than the maroon bandage dress and black denim jacket from the night before, having been called in to help out while Riley was so busy with the Pentagon hack, and grinned at her, holding out a hand for a high-five.

'You were awesome! The look on his face…' Riley quirked an eyebrow at her, and Jill looked a touch sheepish and pulled out her phone. 'Bozer recorded it.'

Riley shook her head, expression full of affectionate exasperation.

Of course he had. He was Bozer.

Her expression grew more wry.

'I have no idea what I saw in him.'

Jill reached out and patted her shoulder sympathetically.

'Everyone has at least one ex that makes you think that.' She paused, and then a mischievous smirk that Riley would not have known the shy woman who'd called her nothing but Miss Davis could make appeared on her face. 'We could make his internet history look really embarrassing and have him accidentally expose it…'

Riley gave a little laugh and put her arm around the other woman.

'Let's keep that up our sleeves for now…'

DISNEY WORLD

ORLANDO

FLORIDA

Mac and Jack grinned as they walked past the very long queue for Big Thunder Mountain Railroad.

There were three skinny guys in black, looking rather out of place, stuck in the line, arguing with one another.

'We should just cut the queue!'

'We're losing our lead here, man!'

'We can't call that much attention to ourselves. We've gotta wait!'

Jack spoke into his earpiece, hiding his grin behind the hot dog he'd insisted Mac buy for him (apparently, Mac owed him – instead of arguing, the blonde had just bought it for him; he figured he probably did owe Jack for something or the other anyway, and what was a hot dog – even a ridiculously overpriced one – between family?).

Their tech squad hadn't managed to narrow down the location of the next clue to anywhere more specific than Disney World, but they'd tricked Team No. 7 into thinking it was in the middle of Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, requiring them to stop the train in the middle of the ride and climb to the top of the mountain.

'Great work, Ri.' Parker made a loud noise of protest, and Jack rolled his eyes. 'And you too, Pete.'

PHOENIX FOUNDATION HEADQUARTERS

SOMEWHERE IN LA

Matty hung up, putting her phone back into her pocket with a little head-shake.

Never in her life had she collaborated with (or expected to collaborate with) Disney World police.

She crossed out Team No. 7 on her tablet.

THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH

ORLANDO

FLORIDA

Mac and Jack darted behind Mickey and Minnie Mouse, who were waving to the crowd, hiding from Team No. 3.

Jack jerked his thumb at the mascots.

'We could borrow a couple of those suits? They'd made great disguises, brother…'

Mac shook his head after pursing his lips in thought, considering, for a moment.

'The mobility trade-off isn't worth it. Boze always had more trouble running from the swim team than he should have.'

With that, he darted off without an explanation, as usual.

Jack was left literally scratching his head.

(A mosquito had gotten him. That was the downside of warm, tropical weather.)

'Wait, what, man? What's this about Boze and running from the swim team?'

Mac and Jack walked up to the counter in the souvenir store, placing two pairs of mouse ears next to the cashier, who scanned them with a smile. Mac handed over some cash, and the two of them put on their mouse ears and strode out of the store.

Behind them, attempting to follow, Team No. 9 set off the anti-theft sensors at the door.

Despite their protests of innocence and utter confusion, security pulled no fewer than four pairs of mouse ears, eight key chains and a stuffed Perry the Platypus from their backpacks and pockets.

Jack reached out to bump his fist to his partner's with a grin.

(If Mac had chosen a life of crime, no-one would have been able to stop him.)

(He claimed that his skills in the area of pick-pocketing and reverse pick-pocketing came from a year-long obsession with magic tricks when he was fourteen.)

(He'd failed to impress Darlene Martin with them, but the skills he'd learned had turned out to be very useful.)

Mac smiled, and Jack gave his arm a shake in excitement.

'I haven't had this much fun in years, brother!'

Well, they do say that Disney World is the happiest place on Earth…

In the middle of the Na'vi River Journey (thankfully closed for refurbishment), Mac eyed off the taller man from Team No. 11 who was balanced on the other end of the boat, holding a two-by-four in his hands like a staff menacingly.

The Phoenix agent counted in his head, waiting for the perfect moment, before jumping up with as much force as he could muster and landing hard on the boat's edge, reaching out to push at the two-by-four as he landed, causing the man to topple into the water.

Meanwhile, Jack crowed as he dumped his own opponents (two small women who were deceptively fast) into the water.

'Yippe kay yay!'

Such was the force of his enthusiasm, he almost over-balanced and fell in himself.

Mac arched an eyebrow at his partner, who just crossed his arms as he regained his balance.

'I meant to do that!'

Mac's eyebrow rose higher as he simply nodded.

'Of course you did.'

Forty minutes later, Mac and Jack, thanks to a couple of Fast Passes purchased on the company credit card, boarded Space Mountain.

(The next clue was hidden in the OS of the rollercoaster. Mac and Jack needed to get their phones within ten feet of it for a period of three minutes in order for Riley and Parker to work their magic.)

The Texan rubbed his hands together, then flung his arms up as the rollercoaster built up speed, leaning over to his partner.

'Best mission ever.'

Mac just grinned.

PHOENIX FOUNDATION HEADQUARTERS

SOMEWHERE IN LA

As they typed, while Bozer organized a summary of all of their findings on the war room's big screen, Parker looked up at Riley, staring for a moment until she looked up at him and raised an eyebrow. Then, he spoke.

'What happened to you, anyway? I stopped seeing you around…'

(Internally, Riley sighed. She'd known this'd come up eventually.)

(They hadn't really kept in touch after they'd broken up, but she'd see his signature from time-to-time on some corner of the internet, and she knew he'd have seen hers.)

'I was in super-max.'

He actually looked surprised, for once.

'They caught you?'

'It's a long story.'

Her voice was clipped, short. She clearly didn't want to talk about it.

But Parker had never really known when to quit.

'You're one of the best, babe. How-'

Now he pulled out the compliments?

Ugh.

What had she seen in this guy?

'Don't call me that.'

Her voice was even more clipped, angry even, and she could tell that Bozer was listening to their every word intently, his hackles up and ready to come to her defence (not that she needed it) at any moment.

(Thanks to all his training, he could be sort-of subtle now, and hadn't turned around. She could simply see it in the way he stood and shifted occasionally, because they knew each other so well now.)

'Come on, babe, just for old times' sake?' Parker smirked, holding up his hands. 'I'm up for reliving old times, anytime…'

She looked incredulously and furiously at him.

'Seriously, take a hint, Parker.'

And with that, her laptop in hand, Riley got up and stormed out.

She could do her work just as well from Jill's lab.

Bozer turned around as the door closed around Riley, doing his best to channel Matty's terrifying-ness and Jack's intimidating-Delta persona.

'Leave her alone, man.'

Parker deigned to look up at him with a snort. A derisive snort.

Bozer really didn't like this guy.

He should totally tell Jack all about this so Jack would go all Wookie on him.

But Jack wasn't here right now, and even if Riley was super-tough, super-strong and super-independent and could look after herself better than he could look after himself, she did need someone to watch her back right now.

And that someone was going to have to be Bozer, since Matty was talking to the CIA and Jill was coordinating two different Phoenix teams.

Parker's gaze only got more derisive as he looked Bozer up and down, taking into account the maroon jeans and the loudly-patterned purple shirt, which did not scream secret agent. Or tough guy, for that matter.

'I'd ask if you were her boyfriend, but as if Riley would choose someone like you…'

Bozer crossed his arms, looking him square in the eye.

'She's definitely saying no to you, too. I'm her friend, and a good human being most of the time, so I'm warning you, you've got to start taking no for an answer.' He focused on doing his best Matty-the-Hun impression. 'Or I'm gonna talk her into ruining your whole life with a few keystrokes.' He paused. 'And then put ghost pepper in your coffee, and tell her super-scary, ex-CIA pseudo-dad, and her ex-con real dad, and her badass bounty hunter boyfriend, and my really-scary-even-if-he-doesn't-look-it BFF…' He trailed off. '…you get the point.'

Parker and Bozer stared at each other for a long moment, before Parker gave a little nod. He turned his computer so that Bozer could see the screen, pulling up the chat window he used to coordinate with Riley and typing out an apology.

Hey, I shouldn't have done that.

Come back?

I won't do it again.

It wasn't much of an apology, but Bozer decided it would do, at least for now.

Bozer, Matty, Parker and Riley stared at the map in front of them, all the places where clues had been located marked with bright red dots.

Bozer flung his hands up.

'Why all these places? I mean, middle of nowhere in Colorado? Disney World?' He gave a half-shrug, mouth twisting to the side slightly. 'I mean, not exactly James Bond locales.'

Parker glanced at Bozer, then back at the map.

'Could be random.'

Riley pursed her lips.

'Nothing is ever really random. There are many far easier locations. If the locations had no meaning…'

Matty picked up the thread.

'It would make sense to choose easier ones.' She turned to the two white-hats and Bozer. 'There has to be a pattern or a meaning. Find it.'

HEDGE MAZE

(POTATO-THEMED)

(YEAH, WE KNOW)

(MARK WATNEY WOULD HATE IT)

IDAHO

Mac and Jack stared up at the fifteen-foot hedges, trying to ignore the really tacky potato decorations.

The mysterious hacker behind this whole twisted Amazing Race had sent them a particularly long message full of instructions.

There were three teams left, including them.

Each team had been assigned an entrance to this maze. Enter from a different one, and there would be consequences.

There were three hard drives inside the maze, each with a section of the stolen intel.

All three were needed to access any of it.

And no entering the maze before 6 pm.

Jack pulled up the satellite image of the maze that HQ had sent them on his phone.

(There were no rules against that, after all.)

5:59 ticked over to 6.

He and Mac started running.

PHOENIX FOUNDATION HEADQUARTERS

SOMEWHERE IN LA

Riley stared at her laptop, incredulous, and blinked deliberately.

She wasn't seeing things.

'The intel's been put back.'

She typed for a moment as Parker's head whipped up.

'That's impossible, why would they do that? Are you sure?'

'All the bugs that the hacker exploited to get in have been patched.'

Parker had checked for himself, and was now also staring incredulously at his computer screen.

The two computer experts stared at each other and spoke in unison.

'…it's the same IP that did the original hack….'

'…it's a white-hat.'

POTATO-THEMED HEDGE MAZE

IDAHO

Mac ran through the maze, followed by his partner.

'Brother, you got any idea where we're going?'

Mac didn't even slow down as he took a left, followed by a near-immediate right.

'To the centre! I'm guessing that at least one of the hard drives has to be there!'

He assumed that the other two were hidden in the two small, dead-end alcoves with decorations and seating he'd seen on the satellite images.

'And you know how to get to the centre? You got X-ray vision now, man?'

Jack sounded sceptical.

Mac took a right.

'I memorized the layout from the sat images.'

Jack tilted his head a little as he jogged after the blonde.

'Huh. Should have guessed that.'

PHOENIX FOUNDATION HEADQUARTERS

SOMEWHERE IN LA

'…Got a location on that IP.'

A house in Boise, Idaho. Forty miles from the potato hedge maze.

Matty nodded, turning to Bozer, Riley and Parker, away from the screen. There was silence for a moment, before she put her hands on her hips.

'What are you waiting for?' She gestured at the door. 'Gonzales and his team are on standby at the airstrip on a jet. Go!'

MAZE

40 MILES FROM BOISE

IDAHO

'Jack!'

Mac tossed the hard drive he'd found in the centre of the maze at his partner, who'd just roundhouse-kicked one of the guys from Team No. 1, causing him to drop his head, clutching his sore jaw with a hand. Jack caught the hard drive, as Mac seized a very ugly Mr Potato Head garden gnome (why anyone would make something like that, he had no idea) and tossed it at the head of the guy in sunglasses (the other half of Team No. 1) who was trying to cage him into one of the maze's corners.

He pressed his advantage as the gnome shattered, kneeing his opponent hard in the solar plexus as he stumbled, causing the man to drop to his knees, letting Mac grab him in a sleeper hold, knocking him out cleanly.

Jack hit the other guy with a classic one-two punch combination, before going in for his signature head-butt, and he dropped like a sack of potatoes too.

The partners grinned, as Mac took off for the nearest alcove, Jack following behind and talking into his earpiece.

'Team No. 1 down, Matty.'

Mac and Jack stared down the four members of Team No. 6, the last team standing, apart from them.

All four were armed, and seemed to know how to use their weapons too. Jack was holding his own gun on them, but they knew how it looked.

The team, who had one hard drive in hand, according to the update the hacker had texted them, were standing between them and the third hard drive.

The partners glanced at each other.

'Jack, you remember our last trip to Vegas?'

The older man groaned.

'Seriously, brother?'

'Best idea I've got right now. Go!'

Jack tossed Mac the hard drive they had, and the blonde took off running at full tilt. Two of Team No. 6 took off after him, and Jack grinned at the two who were left.

'Just us, then, gentlemen. So, we gonna take this one at a time and make it fair, or-'

Without stopping in his speech, he fired off a shot at the guy on the left, getting him in the shoulder. One of the two got off a shot just milliseconds after Jack's, but the former CIA agent had already dropped and rolled, bringing him into close range of the uninjured baddie. He'd pulled his knife out as he'd somersaulted, and stabbed the guy in the calf, before bringing his gun down on the back of his knee, before jumping up from his crouch to catch him hard in the chin with his head.

The two injured bad guys disarmed and satisfied the threat was neutered, Jack started running in the direction Mac had gone.

'Come on, brother, where are you...'

His prayers were answered, as some kind of flare launched about eighty feet to his right.

Jack smiled.

He had no idea how Mac had done it, but he always managed it somehow.

He took off running, pulling out his phone to check the satellite image of the maze so he didn't hit a dead end.

Jack made a noise of frustration as he hit a hedge wall. He glanced at his phone, and realized where he'd gone wrong.

On the other side, he heard grunts and thumps as Mac fought off the last of the bad guys.

(Jack had stumbled upon the fourth member of Team No. 6, out cold, having fallen hard, flat on his face, due to a cleverly-placed tripwire made from a brown leather belt that was hardly visible in the shadows and the darkness.)

He heard a gunshot, but thankfully no answering cry of pain…or immediate cessation of the thumps of flesh-on-flesh. In fact, it sounded like the bullet had struck something hard, like stone.

Jack yelled through the hedge maze, raising his weapon.

'Bratislava, son. You remember that?'

'How. Could. I. Forget?'

Each of Mac's words was punctuated by a grunt of effort. There was a loud thunk and then the sound of someone hitting the ground at the same time as Mac calling out.

'Now!'

Jack fired a single bullet through the maze.

Immediately after he fired that shot, there was silence on the other side of the hedge.

Panic welled up in Jack's chest.

'Son, you alright?' Silence. 'Mac?'

Finally, after far too long (even if it'd only been seconds), Jack heard one of the sweetest sounds of all time.

'I'm fine, Jack.' Mac took a deep breath. 'Just a bit winded. That planter box was really heavy.'

Jack gave a relieved little chuckle, slumping against the maze wall.

'I keep telling you, brother, you can't skip arm day!'

HOUSE IN SUBURBIA

(ORDINARY-LOOKING HOUSE)

(AREN'T THEY ALWAYS?)

BOISE

IDAHO

Gonzales' team burst into the bedroom, followed by Riley, Bozer and Parker.

The room's occupant, seated in a high-backed, black leather office chair, the back to them, swivelled it around and smiled at them.

'Hi. I've been expecting you.'

The mysterious hacker who'd broken into the Pentagon, set up a crazy, twisted Amazing Race and then returned all the stolen intel and patched every bug was a small Asian girl with glasses like Jill's.

She couldn't have been older than sixteen.

Gonzales lowered his gun and pulled out his handcuffs.

'Do you know how much trouble you've caused, young lady?'

She raised an eyebrow.

'You mean drawing out fourteen groups intent on stealing classified US intel and patching the Pentagon's error-ridden security to ensure no-one could actually steal it?'

Parker piped up.

'Actually, it was thirteen groups.'

Riley shot him a look.

Bozer, meanwhile, shrugged sheepishly.

'Girl's got a point?'

Riley watched the girl as Gonzales led her away in cuffs.

She'd put her next paycheck on her getting recruited by the CIA within the next week.

It stirred something in her. A thought of what-if?

But for some chance events, or some twist of fate, depending on your beliefs, that girl could have been her.

She'd have wound up more or less where she was now, without the detour to super-max.

Riley shook her head a little, clearing those thoughts from her mind.

It didn't matter.

Super-max had been awful. That whole Collective Incident was the biggest regret and worst experience of her life.

But without all of those experiences, she wouldn't be who she was today.

And she was happy with who she was today.

OUTSIDE THE SILLY POTATO MAZE

40 MILES FROM BOISE

IDAHO

Mac and Jack, bruised and battered and exhausted, strode out of the maze, three hard drives in hand.

Jack's phone rang, and he answered the video call, revealing Matty on the screen.

He and Mac held up the hard drives triumphantly.

Matty smiled at the two of them.

'Good work, Blondie, Jack.' She paused. 'And you can throw out those drives; they're blank.'

Mac and Jack both stopped in their paces, staring incredulously at their boss. Jack rubbed his sore thigh, while Mac studied the hard drives, as if he could see what was on them just by looking at their exterior.

'Seriously, Matty?'

She put her hands on her hips.

'Would I joke about something like this, Dalton?'

Jack groaned loudly, while Mac sighed. The older man glanced at the younger and spoke.

'This is our life, man. This is our life.'

Mac shrugged.

'Overall, it's a great life.'

Jack smiled, clapping him on the shoulder, while Matty looked pointedly at him.

'You could stand to learn from your partner's attitude…'

RILEY'S RESIDENCE

LA

The tired and weary hacker reached her floor, and found a surprise waiting for her.

Her boyfriend, leaning against the door. Waiting for her, not letting himself in with his key.

Her heart sank, even as she knew, deep within it, that this had been coming.

That this was the right thing, for both of them.

Billy smiled at her. There was something sad and heartfelt in it, wistful, perhaps, instead of his usual easy confidence.

'Hey, Riley. We…we should talk.'

In her living room, on her couch, with a sad smile, Riley reached out and hugged Billy tightly, in a way that was very much goodbye.

Because it was.

It was just too hard, no matter how hard they tried, with their respective jobs. They'd been so determined to make it work, but in the end, determination and love weren't enough.

Perhaps if one of them, just one of them, worked a job that let them stay in one place for more than a couple of weeks at a time, or if they could give each other more details about where they were and what they were doing and how they were doing and when they'd be back and just how their day had been without committing treason or breaking Mama's cardinal rules…they could have made it work.

But they couldn't.

As much as she loved Billy, Riley couldn't leave her family for him.

And as much as he loved her, Billy couldn't leave his family for her either.

In the end, for both of them, family came first. They loved their families so, so much.

(Neither of them could fault the other for that. In fact, that'd been one of the things that'd drawn Riley to Billy in the first place, which she knew was the same for him.)

They pulled apart, and Billy smiled at her again, soft and sad and fond and wistful.

'If you ever need a bounty hunter, call me. I'll give you our family and friends discount.' Riley gave a wan little smile at that. 'And if you ever need someone else to watch your six, you know my number.'

Her smile widened a touch at that.

'Same goes for you, and your family.'

He sought out her eyes again, in a way that reminded her of that day it all began, on that plane, after it'd been cleared out.

'You're awesome, Miss Riley Davis. Make sure any new man in your life knows that and shows that he does, okay?'

Riley smiled a little wider.

'Well, I've already got three who do…'

Billy smiled too, and got up, tipping his hat at her, before slipping out the door.

Riley sighed, her smile falling away, and fell back onto the sofa, half lying down on it.

She stayed like that for a while, processing, letting her sadness and that rawness settle a little. She wiped a few tears off her cheeks that she'd deny she'd ever let fall, before grabbing her phone and adding a new message to her, Jill and Beth's group text.

Girls' night at mine? With comfy PJs, MCU marathon and Ben & Jerry's?

She paused for a moment, then added another one.

They were her closest girlfriends. Practically family.

(Matty was a friend who was family, too, but she was more of an extra mom figure than a girlfriend.)

Billy and I broke up.

Jill replied first.

:( I'm sorry, Riley.

Do we need to delete his existence? Link his prints to every active homicide case?

That brought a little smile to her face.

No, he didn't do anything wrong. It was mutual.

Beth responded next.

I'm really sorry, Riley! I'll be there in forty minutes; I'll bring the ice-cream, and luckily, I've just made a whole casserole dish of mac'n'cheese…I'll leave off the kale. It doesn't seem like a kale sort of situation…

Riley's smile widened a little.

AN: You have no idea how much fun I had writing Mac and Jack into all of those ridiculous situations. You also have no idea how much fun I had writing the opening of this ep! (I think that Lucas Till, George Eads and Tristin Mays would have so much fun filming a scene like that…and there'd be some even sillier meta-joke ad-libs courtesy of George Eads.) I hope you think I did a decent job with the Riley/Parker situation, and with Billy and Riley's break-up. I like Billy/Riley, I think they've got great chemistry, but at the same time, I think they have no long-term future, sadly. At some point, the incompatibility of their lives (she's a covert operative, he's a bounty hunter) is going to come to a head. I considered doing it in a really dramatic fashion (which I suspect they might be going for in the show, having set it up in 3.03, Bozer + Booze + Back to School with Jack letting the mark go and his conversations with Billy), but decided that I've already done one dramatic break-up and Riley had had enough relationship-related drama in this ep, so went for something a little simpler (and maybe more mature, if that makes sense?)

There will be an episode tag in Detours for this ep, which should be up on Tuesday or Wednesday. Here's the summary:

Sisterhood, tag to 3.17, Black to White. Riley, Jill and Beth have a night in at Riley's with Ben & Jerry's, PJs, an MCU marathon…and some interesting conversations. Very interesting conversations.

And here's the press release for the next ep:

3.18, SecDef to Grandpa. SecDef calls Mac, claiming that he's his only hope. His granddaughter's been kidnapped, and the US government doesn't negotiate with terrorists. Despite Oversight's disapproval, the team sets out on an urgent rescue mission, bringing the MacGyvers into conflict.

Thoughts on 3.05, Dia de Muertos + Sicarios + Family: I think I have a new favourite episode for the season, because I'm fickle like that…Seriously, this ep, in my opinion, was made up of some really wonderful little moments, those little moments that are honestly why I love this show. The ones that spring to mind in particular are the Mac/Nasha scene (she is definitely officially my favourite canon love interest for Mac) at the start, Jack talking to Mac about his lunch with his dad (I really liked Mac's response, and I think it seems to nicely reflect what point they've gotten to – so glad it's not all sunshine and roses!), Bozer and Riley's chat about his relationship with Leanna, which I think deals quite nicely with the relationship between Bozer and Leanna, and how fast it was etc. (and as a Bozer/Riley shipper, I think this is a pretty clear sign that we're going to get eventual endgame Bozer/Riley), Mac and Jim's chats about Ellen and the alternate bickering-MacGyvers and teamwork!MacGyvers, as well as the fact that for them, it's clearly two steps forward, one step back. I also really do like what they did with Jack in this ep – I know some people weren't keen on this premise as it was mostly Mac and his dad working together, but one thing I maintain about Jack and Mac's relationship is you can show so much with so little – the little things like him breaking into Mac's house in his stupid costume at the start, the horror movie marathon to try and cheer him up, asking him about his lunch with his dad using Star Wars references, his unshakeable faith in Mac (and Jim, I suppose) at the end, him trying to comfort Mac (no matter how poorly)…