Right… Breathe…

ssssssssss

ZiM growled as he watched the Tallests continue 'negotiations' with the Resisty. So far, it had been bargained that if the Resisty would take part in helping the Armada eliminate any potential persons trying to help Reep, the Tallests were willing to give them fifteen marbles and seven rubber bands. The Resisty were about to agree when their leader, Lard-Nar, had shrieked that that wasn't good enough. The Tallests shrugged and agreed to add on four packs of gum.

ZiM nearly roared in anger but settled for stomping his feet lightly against a computer console. This couldn't last much longer as Lard-Nar looked like he was about to pop a blood vessel.

"Look," Red started, "you and your little band of… thingies are pretty pathetic, and with all those marbles and sticks of gum you could have fun for a long time."

"About two seconds," mumbled ZiM.

Purple nodded, "And the rubber bands are great for snapping against a sleeping jerk's arms."

"Yeah! They're-" Red stopped, taking a look on the sides of his arms, "wait, what?"

Purple's face grew darker green, "Well… you deserved it!"

"MY ARMS WERE SORE FOR WEEKS!"

"CAUSE I DID IT MORE THAN ONCE!"

The Resisty watched in horrified amusement because while what they were watching was quite funny, they were still all in great danger.

ZiM slowly walked up to the screen, giving a little cough, "You help us, the Massive will give you a three month head start to run. That's three months to do whatever you want."

Lard-Nar scratched his chin in thought, leaning back into his chair, "That's more like it… But we still want the gum and marbles!"

There was a cheer behind him and someone called out, "I want the rubber bands!"

ZiM nodded, "Yes, yes, it will all be fulfilled, but you must keep your end of the bargain and keep that horrible worm pig of a creature from receiving any help from allies."

Lard-Nar waved his hand, "Fear not! The Resisty has many connections!"

There was a buzzing among Lard-Nar's troops, "Like Steve in the Massive's engine room!" "And Quiler on Food Courtia!" "And the guy who brings drinks to the Tallests' quarters, what'shisname?"

The Resisty leader looked back at the lot of them in horror, "Shut up! Quiet you! Are you all born and built as idiots or did it rub off from Spleenk?"

Everyone fell silent before pointing fingers, tentacles and general limbs back at Spleenk.

Lard-Nar glared angrily, "You moron…"

ZiM coughed, "Look, forget that now. We've made an agreement that you better uphold or ZiM will kill each of you with waves of painful pain and squishing and organs" ZiM made motions of crushing and scratching with a fist and a hand, "if you go back on your word."

The Resisty leader nodded, "We are certainly well aware of your craft at that, especially since now you're just… different."

The hologram crossed his arms, "It was beneficial to the smeet's welfare that ZiM drop the act. The only side effect was that ZiM is now trapped with two tall idiots with attention issues."

Red and Purple were now trying to scratch and hit at the other while keeping themselves far enough away as not to be hit. ZiM shook his head and waved at a COMM who cut the feed to the Resisty.

Sizz-Lorr smirked, "Hey, not bad for an invader drop out."

Purple took a swipe at Red's eye socket and missed, "Yeah, we should have you do all the negotiating and speeches stuff!"

Red pulled back, "Which reminds me," he pointed at a couple guards, "YOU. Go and find Steve in the engine room and stuff him into one of the missiles we have then seal it so he can't get out. YOU. Call Food Courtia and tell them Quiler is to be deep fried and fed to a blob," he dodged another swipe from Purple, then made to scratch back but pulled away too soon to point at another set of guards, "YOU GUYS. Find what'shisname, the guy who puts drinks in our room. If we don't have a drink server called what'shisname, then round them all up and force them to… ahhh…" he looked over at ZiM, "ZiM, what was that show? It's got the orange midgets with giant poofy hair?"

The hologram looked confused as he thought, "… Jersey Shore?"

Red smiled, "Yes! Have them all watch Jersey Shore until they decide to drown on their own vomit or kill each other out of pity."

All the guards saluted and left to perform their duties.

Purple backed up a little to stare at his co-tallest, "Hey how are those Jersey Shorians midgets?"

Red looked proud, standing as tall as he could, "They're shorter than us aren't they?"

Purple laughed like an idiot, "Yeah. That makes us awesome."

His red-eyed equal scoffed, "Well, me more so."

Purple glared and swatted him on the back of the head. Red made a move to swat back but Sizz-Lorr quickly cut his spatula between them, risking their arms being cut off. Both tallests squealed like the 'men' they were, then inspected the spatula to find a way around it.

"Oh, when I find out how to get past this, I'm gonna make you eat dust from a vacuum cleaner," Red hissed.

Purple took a rubber band out from his PAK and set it up on his fingers, the band prepared to snap, "Bring it on, sister."

ZiM growled, "Enough! Get couples' counseling for all ZiM cares but this stops until ZiM's smeet is retrieved and Reep is dead! ZiM refuses to settle for less!"

The Tallests stared at the angry little hologram, then glared at each other, "Fine."

ZiM nodded, "Good, now command your troops to guard the planet of Clavictoo. Nothing gets onto the surface unless the both of you and ZiM allows it. We must be very careful."

Purple whined, "But being careful's too hard! Why can't you just do it?"

Sizz-Lorr grumbled, "ZiM's still trying to keep the both of you in charge of the situation."

Red thought for a moment, "You mean like… work?"

ZiM took a deep breath to keep himself calm, "This is your job. Lead your people. Prepare armies. Keep balance and natural order for Irkens."

Both Tallests thought about it, before Purple spoke, "Wait, I thought doing stuff we wanted to do was our job."

Red nodded, "Getting food."

"Pummeling bad invaders."

"Killing off people who make us angry."

Purple smiled, "This is making me hungry, I want nachos!"

ZiM stomped a foot down, "NO! Your job is to do what ZiM has been doing since this started! You two should be preparing your troops, negotiating proper demands and destroying any who dares threaten the lives of the ones you lead! The other stuff is just the perks of it all!"

Sizz-Lorr shook his head, "ZiM, don't yell at them. Dead corpses would understand better than these two."

Red glared at the fry cook, "You dare speak against us?"

He shrugged, "I can hold my own. Besides, you need me. Killing me would mean one less soldier to fight."

Red scratched his chin, "Such wisdom…"

ZiM was standing at a holo-table, already drawing up plans for the Irken troops and armada to follow, "Look, this isn't that difficult, ZiM will even finish half the plans for you so it will be easier!"

The hologram drew out Clavictoo with its little shrine on it roughly, then drew out ships guarding half the planet, "See?" ZiM hollered, "Even the Dib could do this!"

He tossed the graphic pen he was using to Purple, who caught it, "Now you two finish it, it shouldn't be all that hard, you know!"

ZiM hopped down from the holo-table and stomped out of the room with Sizz-Lorr following him. The Tallests inspected the pen, then floated over to the table to look the drawing over.

Purple blinked, "… Too hard!"

Red nodded, "The guys who do all the fighting will understand this!" he hit a small button and the plans were sent to their armies all across the universe.

"There!" Red smirked in satisfaction, "I am so smart."

Purple glared at him before making sure ZiM was clear of the room, "Wanna bet, loser?"

ssssssssss

It was much later that night when Purple could have sworn he heard something shuffle in the corner of his room. It was the first night of the week-sleep, an event older Irkens seemed to take with dread as they were required to sleep like normal humans after many months of not doing so. This meant hours were wasted each of the nights week-sleep needed to occur.

Purple sat up slowly and grumbled tiredly. Another effect of week-sleep. It made the Irken groggy.

The Tallest rubbed his eyes and stretched his antennae so he could hear a little better. The rustling was starting up again, but it sounded like the settling of his room.

Purple shook his head and let himself fall back with a 'fump' onto his pillow, "I hate week-sleep."

There was a scoff, "No kidding."

Purple's eyes widened and he looked down at the foot of his bed to see Red with a GIANT rubber band.

He whimpered, "R-Red?"

Red simply sneered and pulled the rubbed band back as far as he could, "Payback's a b…"

The following snap and scream from his fellow Tallest quickly drowned the rest of the overused phrase out.

ssssssssss

Yep, the Tallests' continued incompetence rains supreme! Damn, I want BurgerKing… like, bad. Nice Whopper… but it's late, I'm tired, and I don't wanna drive cause I'm lazy. :333 And this wasn't filler, it all has meaning...