A/N: Alright, here it is, the 4th chapter from Quinn's POV. It will be split up into chapters Pt1 and Pt2. It turned out to be a lot longer than I originally planned so I made it two chapters.

Disclaimer: This is a very intense chapter, and Pt.2 or (Chapter 5), will contain some graphic depictions of violence. Please enjoy the continuing of this story! Thank you for reading!

Quinn's POV

I am so looking forward to this. Ugh, do I ever need a vacation… My classes have been unbearably strenuous the past few weeks, even more so than usual. I'm starting to regret this whole "sorority" thing. I am definitely not Hillary Clinton or Jennifer Beals. This semester just needs to end already.

Only one more month of school.

Thankfully, Rachel sounded really happy about the news. I told her I wanted to make a visit this weekend, and we set the date for Friday. I can't believe how much I've actually missed her. That girl used to drive me crazy in high school. Yet we've somehow managed to become best friends, and if anything, the distance has made us even closer. Although with our schedules, it's been difficult to stay in touch lately. This is the first time I've spoken to her in like two weeks... We message each other on Facebook and E-mail, but we never chat for very long. So much has happened recently that I had to call her; especially to finally make plans. She's been begging me to visit for a while now anyways.

Three days in New York.

I can't wait, and I'm really looking forward to telling them the big news! I know I haven't decided if I'm actually going to go through with it or not, but I'll feel it out when I get there. My decision will have to depend on them anyways. And besides…, I still have a couple weeks to make the final decision.

If they don't seem on-board about it, then I can always go to Boston instead. I also have that new offer for Ireland, but I'm not entirely sure if that's such a great idea. I still really don't know him all that well, and that would also mean missing out on a great opportunity. I'm lucky to be one of the ten students to be offered this directing summer internship, it's an honor, and I'd hate to turn it down after focusing so hard on my academics all year. New York is definitely my first choice.

I'm pretty sure Rachel and Kurt will be okay with it, but I'm not so sure about Santana...

The idea of staying with them for almost four months if she hates me seems really unfathomable. I don't want to have another one of our bitch slap fests for an entire summer.

I honestly don't know what's been going on with her lately. I haven't heard from her in almost two months. We haven't spoken once since Valentine's Day.

I still can't believe I actually did that.

Hello, horny and curious Quinn...?

What were you thinking?

It was just a one night thing… I know we kidded around about her not getting all serious on me about it, but it seems like she took the complete opposite route. I guess I've just been too embarrassed to see or even speak to her. But why hasn't she thought of me? Couldn't she have contacted me if she really wanted to?

I just got off the phone with Rachel and somehow finally managed to get up the courage and ask about her, considering I'll be forced to see her when I visit anyways. I've avoided asking this long because I was afraid of what the answer might be when I finally did. It turns out I was right in my fear… When I asked, Rachel said she hasn't said a word about me. Not one! Rachel doesn't have a clue as to why she might be avoiding me, if that's what she's been doing. Apparently she's been too busy with whatever she's got going on in her perfect little world to bother with me anymore…

Did she lose respect for me because of what we did that night?

It was fun and all, but if I knew it would mean losing our friendship, I'd take it back.

I have to admit, it was really nice.

And …different.

None of that matters though. At the end of the day, I'd rather have my friend back.

I miss her.

I'm looking forward to my visit, but this whole Santana thing is stressing me the hell out. Maybe I should just suck it up, be the bigger person, and call her. I can't be this on edge for an entire week of classes and exams, and I know for a fact that I am only going to get more nervous as each day nears closer to Friday. I just need to know what I am going to be up against, this way I at least know what to expect when I arrive in New York.

Yeah, that's what I'll do. I'll call her; it'll be for the best… not now though.

I'll call her… tonight.

And I'll finally hear that precious voice.

"No, it's alright, really. I appreciate you calling to ask me again, but I have a lot of studying to get done this weekend. It wouldn't be such a good idea. I'd love to go hun, but I just can't. I'm sorry Robbie... We'll get together sometime this week before I leave for New York. I promise."

"It's chill doll. I get it. Later…"

Ugh

I have a feeling he's more than a little upset that I'm not going to be able to make it to yet another one of his parties. To be honest though, it seems like that's all he ever does. He's like the complete opposite of me, always partying and never studying. It's not really my thing, and he knows that. I've heard there's always a lot of drinking at his parties. I have a bad track record when it comes to that stuff, and I've been trying to avoid it lately. I understand he might want to show me off to his friends, but I've just been really tired and busy... Besides, I shouldn't have to feel guilty about this. We've only been together for two weeks. It shouldn't be that big of a deal. Come to think of it actually, we met the night of one of his parties.

How horribly ironic.

An acquaintance from my Actor-Director Lab class had invited me and several others out to dinner that night. When we got to the restaurant, I only recognized a few people from some of my classes. I sat down at one of the sequences of tables next to a girl from my Acting I class. The table was set for sixteen, but only twelve had showed up so far. Then, a group of four came to join us. He walked in with a few of his friends and he sat down in the empty seat next to me. I later found out he studies Technical Design and Production; that explained why I hadn't seen him before, seeing as we have no classes together. We immediately hit it off, and he managed to sweep me off my feet with his old school charm. He even paid for my dinner that evening.

Up until that night, I was starting to get a little worried. I had been feeling… different… somehow. I was having a hard time finding a lot of the men around me… attractive. It's really, really confusing, and I still don't quite understand it. I had scolded myself on several occasions when I found myself checking out another woman. I'm not confused, I'm straight. I'm Quinn. I must have been just admiring their attire or something, right? I don't see women that way.

Ugh…

What did you do to me Santana?

Just when I was starting to get really worried, he came along, and I found myself immediately attracted to him.

Thank god.

I didn't end up going to his party that night, but he asked for my number and called me the very next day to hang out. He picked me up in his blue refurbished 1956 Bel Air convertible. The only reason I can even remember that, is because he took me to a classic car show for what ended up becoming a very unusual first date. Seriously…, who takes a girl to a car show for their first date? He lives locally and took me back to his parent's estate and showed me where he throws his famous fifties themed parties. Apparently, he's obsessed with anything 1950's. I found it kind of sexy…

He looks like a modern day James Dean, and even smokes like him; although the latter isn't quite as sexy. Regardless, after weeks of beating myself up over feeling so confused, I was relieved to find a guy who actually turned me on.

It's strange though. I've barely let him get to second base with me. It's no big deal; I just want to take it slow this time around. He says that I keep making excuses not to see him, and maybe he's right...

I have been avoiding his parties. I have a lot of studying to do, but if I really wanted to, I'm sure I could make the time to go tonight.

Why am I avoiding him like this?

He even invited me to go to Dublin, Ireland with him over the summer. Apparently that's where his family is from and he said I'd love it.

Too bad I already have other arrangements. Although, I'm not sure I'd go even if I didn't.

He seems like a nice guy, and he's really into me. I feel like I know him pretty well, and yet at the same time, I know absolutely nothing about him. We've only been together a couple of weeks and he's been getting very intense, very quickly. All I know about him is pieced together from the few dates we've been on, the phone calls, and the messages. He doesn't have a Facebook either, so I can't even stalk him to find out more. Something feels weird with him, but maybe it's just me being paranoid.

Maybe if you actually spent some time with him.

I just need to stop over-analyzing everything like a crazy person and just relax. What time is it anyways? I've been sitting here on my bed studying for hours and thinking about nonsense for a while now. I need to go take a break and get something to eat. It's after 5:30 already.

Oh, how time flies when you're dissecting your life.

Note to self: don't ever eat your roommates leftover… whatever the hell that was, ever again.

Ugh, I really don't feel like studying anymore right now. Maybe I can go hang out with the roommate in the common room, and we can watch some chick-flick or something since she's not busy tonight either. I guess I can check my Facebook while she finishes eating that god awful rot.

38 notifications, 11 messages, and 3 new friend requests.

Lovely…

I don't go on here for a couple of weeks and everyone and their mom decides to contact me… I'm not even going to start checking these right now. I'll just scroll down my news feed. I do always enjoy reading these little demotivational posters that people post. It restores some of my hope for humanity.

…Whoa, wait a sec.

Did I just scroll past…?

Yeah…, I did.

That's the ghost of Santana Lopez. Someone actually just posted something onto her wall a few minutes ago. I thought she stopped using Facebook? She had said it was strictly for pubescent teenagers, pedophiles, and has-bin's.

Jessica Wilson:

Hey girlfriend! Thanks for finally adding me on Facebook. What took you so long? ;) Haha. I can't wait to go out tonight! Last night was too much fun. ;) I am so bringing my camera and uploading pics of us tonight, since you have like, none. So you better look fucking hot! Shouldn't be too much trouble for you. ;)

What?!

Since when does Santana have a girlfriend?! Rachel certainly did not mention that to me earlier on the phone… We talked about Santana for a while too. I'm pretty sure once I started asking questions, I didn't stop.

Wow…, I guess she really has moved on with her new and perfect little world. Is she so infatuated with this girl that she can't even think of anyone else? Seriously Santana, is this why I haven't heard from you in two months?

Look at this girl!

She's absolutely beautiful, and blonde, and prettier than me…

Quinn Fabray.

Way to go Santana… I'm truly happy for you. Am I even invited to the wedding, or will we still not be on speaking terms then?

Wait, hold up…

Why am I fussing over her like this? What does it even matter? What are you doing loopy Quinn?! Am I really going to let this bother me?

No way, I have no reason to…

I'm flawless, and I'm going to go call my flawless hunk of a boyfriend and go out and have an amazing time at his party.

Let's just see if she has a better time than me tonight.

"I'm glad you changed your mind doll. I didn't think I could've gone another day without seeing this gorgeous face."

He reached his right hand from the steering wheel and ran his thumb across the left side of my jaw before putting his hand onto my left thigh, giving it a rough squeeze, and resting it there; keeping his eyes on the road as we drove to his party. The smoke from his cigarette blew past me as I tried not to choke over the stale and vile taste it gave me; I detested the smoking even more because it reminded me of a dark place in my life that I just wanted to forget. I'll just keep my head turned towards my door so it doesn't bother me so much…

He sounded pleased with himself when I had called and asked him to come pick me up. I wish I could have said the same for myself. It came out as more of a demand when I asked him. I basically said I just wanted to go out and get drunk tonight; he didn't seem to have a problem with that.

I'm doing this for myself though… At least, I think I am. Why else would I be doing this? I'm not jealous… Why would I be jealous of Santana and her new secret lover? She can have the slut if she wants her so damn bad.

Wow.

He's getting really handsy tonight.

I guess it has been a few days since we've seen each other. I feel kind of bad about pushing him away, so I'll just go along with it. Maybe wearing this dress wasn't such a great idea… Although I really wanted to dress for the occasion; I decided to wear my white with black polka dot dress, and a yellow cardigan sweater along with my red heals and a red headband. I might as well look the part if I'm going to finally attend one of his 1950's parties. He looks good too, but that doesn't take very much effort on his part. He's wearing a simple plain white t-shirt with jeans and dress shoes. He had taken off his leather jacket when he picked me up and wrapped it around me because I was getting cold, and he also likes to drive with the top down on his convertible. He can be a gentleman when he wants to. Maybe this won't be such a bad night after all...

If only his hand would stop exploring the inside of my thigh so diligently.

Shouldn't that be turning me on right now?

When we arrived at his estate there was already a sea of countless cars parked all over his lawn and throughout the cul-de-sac that led to his home. It seems the party had already started without him... There were several groups of people standing around outside and I could already hear what sounded like the voice of Sam Cooke playing from inside after he shut off the engine. He came around to my door to let me out.

That's my guy.

"Hey Robbie! Who's the new babe?!" I saw a group of typical arrogant jocks standing to the left of his front door smoking by some well-manicured bushes. They yelled out to Robert as soon as we started walking up the lit pathway towards the door.

"Lay off dickheads. This is my girlfriend, Quinn. …She's mine." He seemed to be very stern with them and gave them a very threatening glare I hadn't seen before, but then as we got closer to the door he dropped the arm he had wrapped around my shoulder and did some kind of secret handshake with a couple of the guys. They joked around for a second before he put out his cigarette on the sidewalk and opened the door for me to enter. I asked him what that was all about and he said it was just a couple of his buddies giving him a hard time.

I had been here once before, but I don't think I could ever get over the elaborate Venetian plastered foyer that withheld an enormous crystal chandelier. There were high vaulted ceilings and the floors were fashioned with some kind of rare white Italian marble; to the left of the room there was a grand cherry-wood staircase that curved around to an open view of the second floor. Beautiful landscape paintings of Ireland aligned the walls that led to the open concept room where the main party seemed to be held. His family must be very well off… Apparently he was a spoiled rich kid whose parents spent most of their time away from home. He had mentioned he went to a prestigious all-male boarding school growing up. Considering how well kempt his home was, I assumed they must also have maids to clean up after all these parties he would had. Everything seemed a bit too meticulous considering all the boisterous people that were running amuck through his home.

He introduced me to some people in the large open concept room, and we talked for a while. He then pointed me in the direction of the bar before he disappeared. I had no idea where he went off to, but I really didn't over think it or mind. Instead, I decided to take this opportunity to admire the antique furniture around the room and classic decor before sitting down on a white chaise lounge that sat in front of a very large bay window. There was even a grand piano across the room. I was definitely impressed.

I almost feel overwhelmed by the amount of people in here. I don't know any of them, and half of them seem like they just crashed the party to drink. If they aren't dancing, they're standing around, overloading the furniture, or wandering the house doing I don't even want to know what. Where did all these people come from anyways?

Apparently Robert isn't concerned about what they do in his home, because I'm pretty sure there's some kind of orgy… or something very sexual involving multiple people going on in one of the back rooms. I could hear the distant moaning coming from a closed door from far away, even through the crowds of people and the blaring music.

The atmosphere seems classy.

But some of the people here.

Certainly not.

I decided to get myself a few drinks at the legitimate bar he actually had in his house, complete with a bar tender. I assumed the guy tending the bar was just a friend because of how he was acting and because he didn't I.D. anyone. I'm kind of shocked the police don't just burst into this place and break up these parties… There has to be a decent amount of underage drinking going on around me. Oh well, I'm not going to question it. I might as well join in on the festivities.

I sat back down on the lounge after having several shots and brought a piña colada back over with me. When I said I wanted to get drunk tonight, I meant it.

I wasn't sitting for very long before a girl I recognized from some my classes decided to sit down next to me and strike up a conversation.

"Hey Quinn! Finally, a familiar face!" She glanced around the crowded room, minding her own drink. "So are you having a good time yet?"

"I am, thank you. This is actually my first time coming to one of the parties here." I smiled at her after my response and continued drinking.

"I've been to a few of them," She said nonchalantly and then laughed. "I just come for the free drinks and to flirt with the guys to be honest."

She crossed her legs towards me and took a sip of her drink. The red-head seemed like a nice girl. She didn't speak much in our classes but we managed to chat a few times here and there. I feel terrible right now… because I can't actually remember her name. I think its Christine or …Cheryl… or something… but I don't want to sound stupid if I get it wrong.

"So the guy who throws these parties, huh! I don't actually know him, but, I've heard some interesting things about that one!" She leaned her left arm across the back of the seat and turned her body towards me in excitement about her gossip.

"What… What are you talking about? You mean, Robert?" I furrowed my eyebrows at her and fidgeted with the drink in my lap. What was she getting at?

"Yeah, I think that's his name. Not many people here actually know him. Just the stories. Supposedly he has a girlfriend here with him tonight too. That's a real shocker." She had genuinely sounded surprised in her statement.

"What do you mean?" I swallowed the lump that had developed in my throat and took a deep breath, unsure of what to say. Why is she surprised to hear Robert has a girlfriend? She was talking about me. Did she not know it was me?

Apparently not, but I don't want to give myself away.

"Let's just say, that I've heard he's not exactly the type. Just rumors though. He's like a commitment-phobe, and a womanizer, supposedly." She rolled her eyes after her remark and smirked, seeming fully satisfied that she had just dished out a delicious piece of gossip.

What is she talking about?

I tilted my head back on the seat and chugged what was left of my drink. She can't possibly be serious. That can't be Robert. He's been trying to get really serious with me. That sounds nothing like him.

Yet again, I'm already seeing a whole new side to him tonight. Who is this guy anyways? Who am I even dating?! Am I being one of those naïve girls that I hate so much? Where is he right now, is he off somewhere cheating on me or something? He left me all alone at his party and I'm supposed to be his girlfriend, yet I don't even know where he is.

Ugh.

"I need another drink," I shot up from my seat and patted down my dress as I turned to face the girl. I felt myself blushing from the overwhelming feelings that were coming over me, and the alcohol doing its job. I really do need another drink though; my mind is turning into a mess. I'm starting to feel insecure about coming here in the first place. I honestly didn't want to be here. I knew this was a bad idea. Maybe a few more drinks will make it better somehow.

"Suit yourself sweetie. I'll save your seat. You go get em' girl!" She cheered me on as I spun around and walked towards the bar. I sat down at one of the seats to have the first drink and pulled out my phone. It's 10:07. Where is Robert!? I haven't seen him for a while now. I didn't expect him to just abandon me like this when we got here. He was the one who kept begging me to come to his parties. I have a feeling we're going to be fighting about this later. Our first fight, I can't freakin' wait.

Ugh, why did I come here tonight anyways? This was an absolutely terrible idea. I am so regretting this…

Yup, I remember now.

Damn you Santana!

I wonder if her girlfriend has posted any pictures of them yet. They're probably sickening to look at anyways. Do I really want to see them though? Why am I torturing myself like this…? Ugh, Quinn, there are so many things wrong with you. I want to see what she looks like though. Is she happy with her? I have to know.

…...

She looks...

Stunning.

That Jessica girl certainly isn't messing around; she's already uploaded a ton of pictures of them. Santana looks really happy too …and hot. She certainly took that girls advice tonight. I guess I can't really be upset with her though. I have no right to be. This whole thing is so beyond ridiculous. Why am I so concerned about who she's with anyways?

It looks like Rachel and Kurt are out with them too. So Rachel did know about this all along and just didn't feel like telling me? I thought she was my best friend? Maybe Santana didn't want me to know about it. I don't understand why she would try and hide this from me.

I need to just finish these drinks and stop looking at these pictures. Staring at them like this isn't going to do me any good. It's just making my stomach churn wildly, and that's not a good idea after how much I've already had to drink. How many have I actually had anyways? I've never had this much to drink before, that's for sure.

"There's my doll. Miss me?"

He whispered into my left ear and wrapped his arms around my waist. He felt warm, and smelled of alcohol and cigarettes. Had he been off drinking somewhere? I didn't see him at the cigarette scent is fresh too.

I unconsciously leaned back into him and nodded despite my questions. Aren't I supposed to be verbally attacking him right now or something?

"Have I mentioned how beautiful you look tonight? I'm sorry I disappeared on you; my friend got back from the military this week and decided to crash the party. I had to see him. Bro stuff. I should have told you. Please forgive me doll." He spoke sweetly.

Awww…

I grinned in response to his heartfelt apology. Now I feel bad about letting my mind wander earlier and doubting him like that. He must have really wanted to see his friend. Either that, or I'm a really gullible drunk.

I squirmed in his arms and started giggling. Wait, why am I giggling? What's so funny?

Ugh, I can feel these drinks starting to hit me all at once. Maybe I shouldn't have had that much. I guess I lost count at some point.

So never drinking alone again.

Oh, he's tickling me…

"Care to forgive me in a dance? I'd love to dance with you if you'd let me have the, pleasure," He nipped the corner of my ear and stopped tickling me as he waited for me to respond.

"The pleasure is all mine!"

He stepped back and reached his hand out. I threw my left arm into the air wildly and nearly fell off my seat as I reached for his hand.

And just when I thought the alcohol couldn't hit me any harder.

"Let's go!" I grabbed his hand and sprinted to the middle of the room that acted as the dance floor.

We stopped somewhere near the middle of the crowd of dancers. He wrapped his arms around my back and pulled me into him, closing any distance between us. I wrapped my arms around his neck and rested my head on his shoulder, watching the other couples as they danced around us. This feels nice…

These people are making me dizzy.

Why are they moving around so much?

It wasn't him that felt nice; it was really the idea of being this close in an embrace with someone on a dance floor. I closed my eyes and imagined I was somewhere else. Then, for just a moment. For a wonderful, blissful moment. It felt like I was dancing with her, again.

I felt too relaxed from the alcohol to even question where my mind was wandering. I was simply content in letting myself believe I was in someone else's arms. That was until I felt a pair of very different hands than the ones I remembered work their way down to my ass as we continued dancing.

Then reality set in.

I took in his scent, the way his body met up against mine, the way he held me, the way in which we moved together out of sync, the feeling of his greasy hair as I ran my fingers through it.

It was all wrong. It wasn't what I wanted. This isn't what I want.

What am I doing?

I feel so lost right now.

And dizzy…

I wish I could think clearly so I could understand what this all means.

"You alright, doll?" He pulled away abruptly interrupting his dancing to reach his arms up to my shoulders and interrupting my personal rhythm. He looked me in the eyes with a worried look. The innermost part of his eyebrows tilted upwards with hesitant concern.

"I'm fine," I artificially smiled at him and leant in to kiss his cheek. I should have kissed him on the lips… but for some reason I avoided that location entirely. He seemed satisfied with my response and then he kissed me on the lips gently before pulling me in to continue dancing, placing his hand on my hips and swaying us in a slow and rhythmic motion that locked in tune with the song that had just begun playing.

"Good, I love this song, and I'm the luckiest guy in the room right now."

He began singing the lyrics into my ear in a low masculine tone. I began to feel nauseous at the previous contact and from the sound of his voice vibrating against my ear. I had been so used to hearing his voice, but in this moment it felt foreign, and unwelcomed. I'm sure he could feel me tensing up in his arms as he sang to me.

"It's by the Five Satins doll; In the Still of the Night is the name. I could serenade you with these lyrics all night long if you'd let me. I'd give anything to be close to you right now. Do you wanna ditch this place?" He began placing gentle kisses onto my ear and then began trailing down my neck.

You want to be close to me?! Isn't this close enough?! Ugh, I'm starting to sweat. It's so damn hot in here. I feel like I'm going to be sick. I need to go sit down.

I didn't even respond to him. I just gently pulled away from his embrace, looked him in the eyes, and then ran off the dance floor. I didn't even turn around to see his reaction. He is definitely going to be upset with me.

I sat down on the end of a sectional couch in the corner of the room. There weren't many people over here and I just needed to sit down somewhere for a moment. I pulled my phone out from my sweater pocket and it was still open to Facebook.

I refreshed the page to see if there were any more pictures of Santana. I don't even know why, I just wanted to see her face. I thought the pictures were hilarious for some reason and started laughing at them. I was actually laughing at myself for feeling this way. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Laughing seemed like the easier option. I continued to laugh as I scrolled through the many pictures.

Then I saw that she had been tagged in a 4 minute video. I don't know what possessed me to, but I hit play and leant down towards the screen so that I could hear and see it without being distracted by the rampant clamor that surrounded me.

I watched.

I listened.

I felt.

I lost touch with my current location. I wasn't here. I wasn't intoxicated beyond my own self-control. I was there with her, and she was singing to me. Those words affected me deeply; I believed them. She was singing to me, and it felt real. I needed to call her. I had said I would call her earlier.

Why didn't I call her? I need to know what's going on… Maybe if I just dial her number and hear her voice…

Ugh!

My phone has no service in here right now. I need to talk to her. I don't even know what to say… I'll say anything though. I don't care.

I rested my upper body and slumped over onto the arm of the couch to the right of me. Then I felt someone plop down ungracefully next to me on the couch. He sat with his legs spread and crossed his arms. He looked resentful…

"You wanna tell me why you left me out there like a douche-bag and ran off like that? Or are you too good for that?"

It was Robert. Crap… What can I even say to him?

Oh, sorry dear, I was imagining you were someone else? I don't feel that way about you? It bothers me when you kiss and touch me?

I have the hots for my former best friend?

I really need to talk to Santana right now, maybe then I can make some sense out of all of this.

I feel so dominated by my emotions right now. I wish I could just regain some sense of control.

Quinn Fabray does not lose control.

But apparently those drinks disagree with me.

I'm starting to get a really bad headache.