A/N: Sometimes things have to go wrong in order to go right...

Eric

Chapter Twenty-Six

Even as I held my wife close to my side, I was already counting down to the next opportunity to be with her again. Despite the incident with her brother I'd still managed to turn her day around. I couldn't keep the smile off my face. Admittedly, it was more of a self-satisfied grin. But I'd finally done something for her that was not only dear to her but entirely meaningful.

Sookie didn't stir as I got out of bed, but she huddled deeper into her covers. With a parting glance, I exited the room. I just had to make a quick stop at the office and then I would come back to her. The faster I left the faster I would return. If I was lucky I would have a few minutes before dawn of watching her sleep.

I was somewhat shocked to find Bobby in the outer sitting area of my suite. He met me at the office these days. My wife now chose my clothes before I rose and catered to my needs before I left the house.

"You need to take this," he said, holding out his phone to me.

"This is Eric," I said.

"I didn't know who else to call," came the frantic voice. It took me a few minutes to recognize it because he was whispering and jumbling his words. It was Marcus, Illeta's assistant. "Pam—"

At the mention of my child's name I felt a dangerous kind of calm befall me. It wasn't like the anger my wife used to be so able to elicit. This was single-minded ferocity. Batanya was instantly in the room, though she looked a little confused. It has been sometime since I needed in her.

"Put her on the phone." I ordered. "Now,"

"I can't," he whispered. "I don't know what happened. She just kind of went still and fell—"

"Marcus," I called, interrupting his hysterics. "I do not care about the what or the why, just tell me where she is."

"Laguna Beach," he said.

"Go to her side and stay there. Help her if you can but tell her I am on my way," I told him. "Five minutes."

"But—"

"Five minutes, Marcus. Three hundred seconds, count them out. I will be there," I hung up.

Having only heard half the call, Batanya had called for my transport. Tavorian was a Britlingen on staff. He was very young and seldom called upon. His ability was teleporting. He could send anyone anywhere so long as he had the image in mind. The drawback was that he could only send one person at a time, and needed at least an hour to recharge between transmissions.

"I'll go," my guard said.

It made sense that she go. If I went and lost it because someone attacked Pam, Batanya wouldn't reach me in time to keep me from raising hell. Except that when it came to my child I would happily let the rest of the world burn.

"I'm going," I told her. "Meet me when you can."

I was in California with ninety seconds to spare. The scene at my sister's beach house was nothing like I was expecting. In truth I wasn't sure what I feared was amiss. Everything appeared as it always did, picturesque and calm. I caught the same scents although now there were traces of both Pam and Illeta's blood in the air, and if indicated by the amount of blood my child lost and her age… My world threatened to close in about me with these thoughts.

"Up here," Illeta called.

The relief didn't come as I sped off to the underground day chamber. The scene here was shocking. Pam was tucked into bed. That alone was so very wrong. She should be awake, smiling and being a pain. She should be laughing and chasing women; but she lay still as if waiting on the dark to free her. It was the middle of the night.

Illeta was worse off. She looked gaunt and haggard. Her hair was limp and her bones jutted out starkly against her skin. She looked as if she had been drained to within an inch of her life. Her wrist was bandaged because the amount of blood she lost wouldn't let her heal. I couldn't fathom what had happened.

I opened my mouth but she spoke over me. "Do you remember what she wanted for her hundredth and fiftieth birthday?" my sister asked.

With that question it all clicked. Illeta had been so happy as of late. She had been leaving her affairs to manage themselves. She had been spending more time with Pam, spoiling her in ways she never did before. She hadn't been on a vacation; she had been saying goodbye. The pain of this revelation rendered me speechless.

"She wanted to fly," she said answering her own questions. "She wanted the one thing you couldn't buy her so you bought her the island instead. You invested in any nutcase who believed it possible, just for her. Now, with my blood she can have a semblance of it."

"Illeta," I said taking her hand. "Please, don't do this. You can't, not now, not after you have survived where so many others have perished."

She held my hand but in her eyes there was no change. "Do you remember the first thing I said to you after he brought you back with him that first night?"

Memories I never wanted and had long buried crept into my mind and it was for my sister that I let them take me. No matter how many grains of sand had passed through the hour glass of time I would never forget that first night. Ocella had found me walking home drunk. One second I was looking at him, and the next I was screaming in agony as he violated me. I wanted to fight, but I couldn't. My body refused to move. I wanted to die, yet death did not come, not until I was lost and not even after was my soul free.

"I do," I told her, forcing my pain aside.

"Tell me little brother," she said, coming to sit at my feet. "Tell me."

"I will love you," I repeated. "When you are broken and empty I will love you still. Long after all that you know, and all you hold dear has fallen into darkness and despair; my love will be all that remains. When the fires of hell rise to torment you and the clouds of heaven fall to shun you, when you have nothing and are nothing, not even then will my love cease to be." She had held me because she knew that while I was suffering it had only been the beginning.

"A thousand years," she said resting her head on the back of my hand, "A millennia, Eric, and still I love you."

"Leta, please," I urged. I looked at where Pam lay peacefully on the bed. Yes, I was begging for me but I was also speaking for Pam. "What am I to tell her?"

"Tell her what I told you so long ago," she said, kissing my wrist. "Tell her this is my one selfish act against you. Tell her I love her. Tell her my time was done and while I could face the uncertainty of the veil, the judgment of the gods, I could never bear witness to her pain."

I was wrapped up in my piece of heaven less than an hour ago. I could smell my wife on my skin. How was it that things turn so ugly so fast? My sister was going to lead herself beyond the veil and I would have to let her, not because I wanted to, but because I understood. Illeta held my hand in hers as she used to do after I'd suffered the worst of our maker's attentions. As in those darker days, we didn't speak. We took whatever silent solace where it could be had for souls as broken as ours.

Illeta had been my light in the dark when all others had gone out. When I felt the Gods had cast me in a place their eyes did not see; when I had nothing, when I was nothing, I had Illeta. Her scent and face had been a constant through the ages. Hours could have passed or maybe even days. We didn't notice the passing not until the sun rose and I knew my time with my sister was done.

Then for what was the last time, my sister came and hugged me. "She knows you need her to need you," she whispered. "She knows that if she doesn't then there will be nothing to hold you to this world. You have to live, Eric, otherwise she never will, not really."

I said nothing and continued to keep her crushed to my chest and the safety of my arms. Beyond my embrace the sun waited to steal her away.

"Are you afraid?" I asked.

"No," she said rubbing my back, "No, fear has kept me tethered to this world but now I am at peace."

Despite the pull of the sun's rays, I watched my sister meet her fate from the safety of her enclosed porch. It truly was her one selfish act against me. Nothing hurt me more than seeing Pam distraught, but I would have to tell her the truth. I would be ripping her heart out. Me, the one person who had promised her love and safety, would have to do that to her, my child, my Pam.

I opened myself to the ties that bound me to my sister. The physical pain was fleeting. It was overshadowed by relief. She walked west towards the water, and by the time she reached the shore, she was gone. The wind carried her ashes and pulled her clothes out to sea. The emptiness in my chest roared, making the silence of being alone in my blood-ties louder. No one left in this world knew and understood the hell I suffered. There was now just me and a dark past waiting to consume me.

I rose at dusk minutes before Pam. "Illeta," she said springing awake. "She's…" she looked around and I could see her senses perceive what was. "Where is she?" she asked me calmly.

"She's gone," I told her, "You know she is."

"No she's not!"

Pam got up and tore through the house, calling for someone who was forever beyond her reach. Her newly inherited telekenetic abilities surged with her grief. Despite finding nothing she continued to search, sobbing as she went. When she got outside and caught the scent of ash mixed with sand, she fell to her knees defeated. My child screamed and cried for Illeta to come back to her. When that didn't work she screamed for me to help.

I gathered her in my arms. I kept her cradled against me, knowing I was the reason why nothing like this had ever touched her. Between Illeta and me, Pam had never had to admit a lost battle. It was now both a source of pride and shame.

"It's okay," I lied. I had no idea if anything would ever be okay again. "I will love you. When you are broken and empty I will love you still. Long after all that you know and hold dear has fallen into darkness and despair; my love will be all that remains. When the fires of hell rise to torment you and the clouds of heaven fall to shun you, not when you have nothing and are nothing not even then will my love cease to be."

She sobbed and clung to me, but she told me what I needed to hear. "My love will never cease to be." I held her as she cried and for the first time ever I didn't try to soothe or buy her troubles away. There was no comfort to be had, not for what we'd lost.

~ooooo~

"Sir," Bobby called.

I blinked and looked up at him. I was back in my room in my house in New Orleans. It was a strange thing because I felt like I had been having a bad dream but from the pain in my heart, I knew it was real. It was all real.

"I'm sorry," I said to my assistant, "You were saying?"

"Mr. Beckett is requesting a meeting," he said, "Earliest available opening is in two months; do you want him moved up?"

"No," I replied, "That will be all Bobby, thank you."

I looked down and realized that other than my trousers I wasn't dressed. The other perfect pieces of the ensemble were laid on a perfectly made bed. It was like clockwork. All I had to do was reach down and put on my undershirt and the rest would follow. I couldn't make myself move; when I tried I felt the tears I'd been fighting so hard to deny. All the pain that went with the reality of Illeta's end and watching Pam suffer came through to the surface, so I continued to stare at the mundane pieces of clothing.

"Hey," a voice called.

For what to be the first time in a thousand years, I flinched because a human had caught me unaware. Sookie was standing at the foot of the bed. This should have been our room, but it wasn't, not really. Settling for second place was something I should never do, but it was better than having none of her. It was more than that; I knew that after her there was nothing else in this world that would offer me a shred of salvation. I loved her. It was a twisted, selfish, tainted love but broken as I was. It was all I was capable of giving and it was hers. So, she never had to love me back. I didn't ask that much because I didn't deserve it. Her pretenses were enough.

"I'm sorry I missed dinner with you earlier," I began trying to reclaim control over the moment.

"It's okay," she said sitting in front of me. "I heard what happened," she continued in softer tone. "I'm sorry."

I nodded and picked up my undershirt. I was blocked by the same obstacle. I couldn't make myself put it on. Instead I turned to my wife and asked her a hard question. "Are you really?" I asked. "Look inside yourself, are you?"

I knew she wasn't. How could she be? No one knew what I had lost today, not even Pam. My child was still in California, in Illeta's home grieving. Hurt as she was, not even she knew the half. Leta had been so much more to me than anyone could fathom. No one understood the pain; not only the pain, but the uncertainty I was now left with.

There was a possibility this day would come from the second that our maker had chosen us as his victims. No matter what I wanted to believe there was no guarantee that I was free of that same fate my sister had faced. Time in its infinite span was not my friend. It never was. In me somewhere I had always known and feared that. It was why I was always racing the clock. It was why I was filling the minutes with so many different things. I'd known. The past that I had fought so hard to escape would never let me go.

All the years I'd spent trying to undo all the harm I'd done was for nothing. The peaceful manner in which I tried to handle matters was for nothing. There was no such thing as eternity or forever, not for people like Illeta and me. We had been tainted by darkness and evil so putrid that we would never be free. If nothing else in this world brought us to our knees, then time would. Once upon a time, I would have simply accepted that truth and took it for what it was. Now I didn't want to. I didn't want to leave Sookie even though she wasn't really mine.

"She told me she was your older sister. With her gone it feels like the last anchor has been ripped away from the core of who you are." She smiled, and it wasn't the practiced one. It was so full of sadness that I regretted starting down this path. "Now you can't be sure that there was ever anything that connected you to this great big world. It doesn't leave you feeling alone, it leaves you feeling utterly alien. I know the feeling so, yeah, I am sorry."

Faster than she could see, I dropped to my knees and wrapped my arms around her waist with my face hidden in her lap. She responded by bringing her head to rest against mine. I'd simply wanted the comfort that only she could offer, but her understanding brought truth spilling from my lips.

"Illeta was a pillar when there was nothing else," I confessed, holding her tighter. "Her strength was never ending but now it is gone." What did that mean for me? She had endured so much more than I. "She's…gone."

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," she said. "I'm so sorry she's gone."

Her fingers gently scraped across my scalp, and somehow eased the worse of the hurt, though it made it impossible to keep my tears unshed then. She simply held me, and for a long time I just let her scent and touch wash it all away. Her hand cupped my face and she looked down at me. Her fingers wiped away the bloody tears from my face. The man I was ashamed my wife was seeing me cry but I felt naked. There was nothing left for me to hide from her. She leaned down and kissed my lids while wiping my tears away.

"Tell me how to make it better," she whispered, cupping my face in her hands. "I want to make it better."

"Make love to me," I replied.

If only for a little while she could make this world fall away. She unzipped my pants and they fell to the floor. I was lying back on the bed as she kissed her way down my body. She wrapped her lips around my raging shaft and sucked me deep into her mouth. I thrashed with the effort to not come. A part of me wanted all she had to give but I wasn't sure I could handle it.

"Lover—" I moaned.

I growled as she cupped my tightened sac and teased that part of me with her tongue. I was learning there was the physical act of sex with no emotion. I had both with Sookie. She made it impossible to control myself. I didn't have long to suffer. She mounted me and took me in all in one smooth motion. Her body was dripping and slick. Her eyes were hooded and focused on me. She smiled sweetly. She was equal parts tenderness and temptation.

There was nothing rushed about the way we made love. She rode me as if she had the rest of forever, and even as she climaxed, she cried out instead of trying to channel it by biting or scratching. She was here for me.

"I love you," I told her. "I love you."

I didn't give her a chance to reply. My lips found hers while my arm held her body tighter against mine. We moved in a rhythm that heightened both our pleasures. I knew she was close again, so very close. Her body rocked against mine with greater insistence. I kissed her neck drinking in the scent of her blood. She leaned forward in open invitation. Pulling away I looked at her seeking confirmation. I was quickly reaching the place where I wouldn't have the control to ask twice.

"I want you to," she moaned, "Drink baby."

I felt her body tighten around me. She wrapped her arms around me and brought my lips to her neck. I couldn't fight it and a part of me thought it wise to try…but I couldn't. The scent of us was thick in the air, and the allure of her blood was thrumming in her veins. I gave into what we both desired. She was coming when I bit and it extended her orgasm. She screamed my name and her body shook so badly, so wonderfully, I found myself having to hold her tighter to keep from making the puncture wounds worse. With a muffled growl I found release.

Sookie was still trying to catch her breath when I heard my phone. "I need to go," I said, hating the fact.

"There is a difference between have to, need to, and want to," Sookie said. "You deserve a day of "want to." So, what do you want?"

"I want to stay here with you," I replied sincerely. It was the only thing I ever wanted.

She grinned at me and got out of bed to bring my phone to me. "Bobby, call Monica, I won't be going into the office. I will be unavailable tonight."

Silence greeted me on the other side of the line. If he was trying to recall the last time I had a day off, it was probably before his father was born.

"Yes sir." he answered.

Then my wife confiscated my phone. It made me cringe as she turned it off but I let her toss it into the nightstand. After which she walked to my closet. She rummaged around for a few minutes. When she began cursing Nancy sharply for not buying me normal clothes, I couldn't help but laugh.

My wife's temper was absolutely horrid, but I found it sexy as hell. Not to mention that her affinity for profanity was unique; I don't think I've ever heard some of her curse words were ever heard on land or sea. She finally emerged with several items of clothing. One was a pair of jeans I didn't know I owned, a long sleeve t-shirt as well as a pair of boots complete with socks.

"Disguises," she said with a devilish grin. "No guards or cars, handsome, just you and me. We're sneaking out tonight."

Where do you think it's going? Is she for real or is faking? Is it a trap or a change? I want to hear your guesses.