I feel like there will never be a good excuse to explain away why I've been gone for so long. School, couple with lack of inspiration and severe writer's block has prevented me from updating until now. I've added a few new scenes earlier on, to give the story more depth. So if you've already read up to here before this update, please go back and read them. They make Jake and Cecily's story so much better.

Anyways, hopefully y'all are still out there, and I hope you enjoy this new twist to our story.

She will change everything

For happy ever after

Caught in the in-between

A beautiful disaster

She just needs someone

To take her home

- Beautiful Disaster, Jon McLaughlin

Chapter 15

I needed to forget. I needed to fly.

Just a couple drinks. Enough to dull the pain. Enough to get his voice, his smell, his abs, out of my head.

Enough to forget. But I sorely underestimated the amount it would take to get there.

It must have been about four drinks later. The first glass of bubbly didn't help. So I shot back another. And another. Until I was completely unaware of anything that wasn't going on around me right now.

I could live in the moment. I really could. I just needed a little help to get there, that's all. When lights started blurring, I knew I had arrived. I stumbled through the sweaty clump of dancers in the middle of the floor, pushing past stray elbows and kneecaps. Ecstatic and exhausted from the ordeal, I finally found my friends. I danced my way into oblivion.

I've done it. One of the thoughts that was currently running through my head way above the speed limit. I've really forgotten him. Blinded by my joy at this new-found revelation, my eyes roamed the mob of dancers. They were quickly snagged by Evan, my long-time worshipper from middle school on. He was in love with me, and I knew it. Whenever I had my heart broken, he was always there to tell me that I was beautiful, that he would kick the ass of whoever had misused me. But I had never felt the same way.

We were close. Had been since the day we met. But I had never returned his feelings. I'd been scared that if we did go farther, we would break up eventually, and we could never be friends again. I valued his friendship too much. But he didn't see it that way. Obviously. I never ever wanted to use him this way. But my judgment was slightly, shall we say, impaired from all the alcohol.

I made my way over to where his form now stood. "Come on, dance with me."

His eyes were wary. "You're drunk," he stated, as if it was the only sure thing in the world.

My eyes went wide, "No, no, no! It's just a buzz, that's all. Come dance with me. Please?!"

"Sure." I practically dragged him against his will, but that thought was quickly brushed away. The Ke$ha-dominated mix shuffled, and the muted melody of a piano saturated the air. What the hell? Ke$ha writing a slow song? What a paradox. The Harold Song chased away the devil-may-care attitude that dominated the space.

Sara, one of the heaviest drinkers, drunk-stalked her way to the computer, sloshing around her drink in one hand while trying to change the song. Her boyfriend Hector gently eased her away from the screen. His consistent sobriety was to ensure Sara didn't do something stupid. And to remember to use a condom when he would inevitably get lucky. Smart boy.

Eventually, we got onto the dance floor. Luckily for me, someone switched the song from that slow crap to Cobra Starship. Yessssssssss. . . I grabbed Evan and started dancing like a maniac. The intoxicating stuff didn't affect my dancing too much. I grinded and grooved, letting body and instinct completely take over. He was a really good partner. Or maybe it was just the booze.

He was totally into it. I could so tell. I grabbed the back of his neck and smushed our lips together. Okay, Cecily, let's role-play again. If I didn't think about it too much, he tasted almost like Jacob. I opened my mouth, always liking the idea of Frenching. I started to become more aggressive, banishing all of the pain and regret and fear out of my head.

"I'm sorry Ce." I felt Evan gently easing me off of him, with about as much devotion and care as a boy who is in love with his best friend. He led me over to the outskirts of the party, trying to find a place far enough from the numerous couples practically making love to each other on the couches that were pushed up against the walls.

My emotions were out of whack, and this feeling of absolute devastation overcame me. "But . . . Why?"

He gave me the most heart-broken look I had ever seen, "Because you don't really love me. Or even like me. And we both know it. You're going to wake up tomorrow, and even through the nasty hangover, you're going to realize that you still love Jacob. The way you've talked about him . . . just the way you say his name. You are going to go back to Washington, and all of this will be forgotten."

I touched his cheek. "You are so perfect. The most wonnderrrfulll, perrrrrrfect best friend a girl could EVER have." I slumped over him, my arms awkwardly encircling him, my head resting on his shoulder. I tried not to wince at the little circle of drool that now adorned his shirt.

"But it'll never be enough." He whispered low. He probably thought I was too drunk to hear it. And I pretended I was. I just couldn't handle another confrontation with him.

He handed me off to Jenni, who stayed sober tonight. She was sooooo smart. "Bring her upstairs. She's going to pass out any minute now." We always spent the night at Bo's condo after one of these ragers. Arranging some kind of ride home that late at night was never wise. And cab fare out to the country was too expensive.

I suddenly found myself in Bo's living room, trying to be careful and not destroy any of his mom's priceless Chihuli glass vases. I felt my hip bump into something, but didn't look back. Never looked back.

I soon felt the sensation of silk and cotton below me and immediately cuddled into it, despite remembering the hangover that typically accompanied it. I felt my shoes being removed, my ass being tucked in, and the sound of a glass being set on the nightstand beside the pillow. A piece of my bangs was tucked behind my ear.

"Thanks Jake. Love you."

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