Now I know my last update was kind of a little while ago, but I can explain!
...I can't explain. Truth is, I left the Hetalia fandom.
I know right? Can you believe it actually happened? But I did, and I forgot all about Hetalia, until I was reading my flippin' awesome reviews.
And I thought to myself, "Hetalia needs me back." So here I am, becoming the author I supposedly was, hoping people forgive me for my delay and short attention span.
Thank you all for your sincere patience~
This can't be happening. This can't be happening. I repeated to myself over and over again, wanting to just wake up from this sudden and terrible nightmare.
However, I knew I couldn't wake up - no matter how hard I tried - because this wasn't a scary nightmare, but the sinister reality. If I closed my eyes and opened them again, I would still be seeing the menacing truth right in front of me: Gilbert. In my room. Sadly, there was no denying this fact, no matter how much I wanted to. I was faced to accept that the albino I angered earlier was to be my roommate for an entire year.
Stop it, Matthew. Quit running away from your fears. You'll never get stronger that way. An unusually tiny voice in the back of my head ordered, trying to be heard. But the other voices in my mind simply brushed it aside, commanding me to run out of the room right there and then.
Should I bolt? Should I not bolt? I desperately wanted an answer, and it looked like the argument in my head wasn't going to give me one. At least, not the straight, clear answer I anticipated for.
Gilbert finally opened his mouth, and snapped me out of my thoughts, almost like a raw knife shattering through breakable glass. "You seem tense." he commented, looking amused at my mental breakdown.
I only stared at him, searching his face to predict his next move. Will he punch me? Will he tease me? Is he actually trying to be nice? You couldn't tell with the albino. He had an air of mystery to him, similar to the dark side of the moon.
Dear God, why am I using metaphors to describe a possible enemy? Am I really that cheesy? I asked myself when realization dawned upon me. No; I'm just typically poetic. That's all. I want nothing to do with him, remember?
However, even if I really didn't want anything to do with Gilbert, I still had to interact with him someway or somehow. He's my roommate, for crying out loud! There was absolutely no way I could simply ignore him, even if I tried for all my life.
Gilbert flopped onto Feliciano's former bed. Reaching underneath, he took out a soda can and popped it open, bringing the can to his lips. After a long gulp, he placed it on the nightstand, meeting my gaze.
It was during that exact moment that I suddenly realized I had been just standing there, staring at him.
"I'm typically not a fan of Coke," he told me, pointing at the pop. "I prefer beer. However, this goddamn school has a strict rule against it and any other alcoholic drinks, so, through the process of elimination, I'm left with the cola."
I only nodded. If there was anything else I should have done, my brain failed to tell me so.
Gilbert stared at me for a few seconds. During that moment, my eyes darted towards my shoes, pretending to suddenly be so interested in my Nikes.
"You know," he began, twirling his Coke can. "You're not much of a conversationalist."
I wasn't really sure how it had happened, but his words suddenly stirred anger inside of me. It wasn't fair that he had been so hell bent on embarrassing me in the cafeteria from a tiny accident, then just brush the whole thing aside as if it never happened. If I was supposed to be grateful for this, I wasn't. If there was anything I knew from bullying, it's that bullies don't usually like to forget. And if there was anything I knew from my experience of getting bullied, it's that I don't like to forget either. No matter how much the forgetfulness may "help" me.
A voice inside told me that addressing Gilbert on this topic so bluntly would end up only in consequences. I ignored it, hanging on to the bit of courage I might of had. "Thought you didn't want anything to do with me." I sputtered out with the best bitter voice I could muster.
He blinked for a second. Seeing his confused face, I wondered if I really did do the right thing. Maybe forgetting about it would have been better.
Then that puzzled expression changed and he only raised an eyebrow. "Are you still mad about the cafeteria thing? To tell you the truth, I was kind of glad you ruined that shirt. Never really liked it. "
God. This guy has a way of getting on my nerves. At first, I had been angry. Now, I was furious. Through gritted teeth, I demanded, "Then why did you have to make such a big commotion about it?"
What made me really irritated was the fact that he seemed so nonchalant about this. Gilbert only half-shrugged. "I wanted to be fearful."
I wanted to be fearful. It was only a simple sentence, yet that sentence hit me like a giant tsunami. "What do you mean by, 'I wanted to be fearful'?"
Immediately, his lips formed into an unusual, wicked smirk. A smirk that made him look oddly like a rapist. It sent shivers down my spine, and forced to me comeback to reality. Don't mess with him, Matthew. You'll only end up hurting yourself.
"I'm guessing you haven't heard of the little popularity contest I've entered with the Jones kid."
"Alfred?" I asked.
"Yeah, him. So have you heard about it?"
I shortly nodded. Alfred did mention it earlier, after he had been supposedly "saving" me. Turns out the little rescue was just to improve his hero status. As in, he would have done the same to just about anyone. The person didn't matter.
So I asked Gilbert, "What's this popularity thing about?" The least I could do was get some sort of knowledge about the students in the school, even if it contained two people I wasn't really fond of.
I could have sworn the smirk grew bigger as he continued on, "I never really liked Alfred. He threatened my social status. Before he came along, I was at the top of the pyramid. Starting the biggest parties, sneaking in the sexiest babes, coming up with the funniest pranks. I did all of that. And that was what made me so goddamn awesome.
"But ever since Jones entered this place, I lost my title of number one on the social ladder. At first I thought he was some pansy nerd that spent his whole life reading Marvel comics. And I was right, partly that is. Then he suddenly unleashed this wild, party-animal side of him that I could have never suspected. Before I knew it, the guy actually did become the hero of this school. And I was left in the dust.
"In order to reclaim and keep my position, I had to do something. So one day, I came up to him and challenged him to a popularity contest: Whoever earned the more points, or support, from the other students achieved the title, 'King of Awesome'. Since Alfred is super competitive and an attention whore, he immediately accepted. But the problem was that the school year was almost finished, so we decided to officially start the competition this year. Now, here we are, beginning a contest that I will clearly win, if I keep up with my current plans."
It took me a while to process the information. And once I did, I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Popularity. It was such an important thing. That's why I never liked it, or popular kids for that matter. They always wanted to climb higher on the social ladder, no matter what stage they were at.
I was never at the top of that ladder, or even close to it. However, that didn't mean I wanted to be invisible either. In my previous years of school, I was forced to live with the fact that I was a social outcast. Most people didn't even see me, and if they did, they didn't bother to look twice. From the moment I walked in each of my different schools, I was dubbed as a "nobody".
What made me mad the most was the fact that no matter how hard I tried, in the end, I still wasn't noticed. Gilbert, on the other hand, had that bit of popularity that I always wanted, but it still wasn't enough. He wanted more, like some monarch who didn't want to admit it that his powers were limited. What was the difference, anyways? They were both stuck up, and they both didn't know when enough meant enough.
No matter how much I wanted to snap at him at that moment, the only thing I did was ask him another question. "How are you going to keep track of how many supporters you receive in the end?" I made sure to sputter 'supporters' out in a bitter tone.
Either he didn't notice, or chose to ignore it. "We're going to have a school wide vote in the end. It'll be like voting for class president, except with the title as King of Awesome."
"And of course you'll be number one, won't you?" I tried to make my voice as sarcastic as I could.
He snorted. "You've got that right, birdie." No use. Sarcasm was wasted on this guy. Because I had been extremely bothered by this albino and his arrogant nature, I almost missed the little nickname he called me. Almost.
"Birdie?"
"You remind me of my pet bird, Gilbird, back in Germany. I dunno why or how, but you just do."
"I...do?" His voice became softer, somewhat nostalgic. Oddly, it made me somewhat giddy inside that I was the one that reminded someone of something special that belonged to them, even if that person was a conceited albino. The anger from earlier washed away, and the corners of my mouth stretched into a tiny smile.
"You're smiling." Gilbert's sudden comment surprised me. His own lips formed into an amused smirk.
"I-I'm not..." I shook my head, forming my mouth back into a frown. The corners of my lips twitched, though.
"You're a terrible liar."
"Uh..." My face flushed with embarrassment as I ducked my head down, pretending to be absorbed in my pile of clothes stacked smoothly into my suitcase. I rummaged through, not quite sure what I was looking for. The truth was, I wasn't looking for anything. I just needed an excuse to hide my flustered, red face.
I was probably being extremely obvious, but if I had, Gilbert never mentioned it. He just took another sip of his pop, looking absentminded. I then started to unpack, placing my clothes onto my bed.
After three minutes of packing, as I was placing my green sweatshirt on top of my dark blue jeans, Gilbert jumped up from his bed, his finished Coke can resting on the nightstand. "I'm going to check out some of the other dorms. Be back in a few."
"Uh... alright." I wanted to ask him if he could give me a tour of the school, or when or how we were going to eat dinner, but he seemed too preoccupied, so I didn't. Besides, the last thing he wanted was some new kid to tag along; to be the tour guy for that new kid. I knew popular kids well enough to understand the hints they give you when they don't want you around. So I kept my mouth shut, pretending to be engrossed in unpacking.
Before he opened the door, Gilbert turned around towards me. "What's your name again?"
It hadn't occurred to me that he didn't know. "Matthew Williams."
"You know, you have a girly voice." he commented, that smirk exhibited on his face yet again. "But it suits you."
I couldn't tell if that was a compliment or an insult. Or if he was being serious or just joking around. So I just shrugged.
"Matthew seems too boring. I'm going to stick with Birdie."
"Why?" I found myself asking. "I know I remind you of your bird, but why?"
When I asked the question, I had been staring at him. Now, as I did and as he stuttered an answer out, I could I have sworn there was a tint of red on his cheeks. That can't be right...
"You remind me of my pet bird because..." he breathed in a nervous sigh and almost inaudibly said, "...'Cuz you're cute."
My mouth formed an 'O'. With that being said, he opened the door and dashed out of the room, closing it with a loud thud.
It took me a few minutes to come back to reality. However, once I did, the world still seemed to be floating.
I tried to process the events that led to this "confession". But no matter how hard I tried, the confession was still fresh in my brain.
Gilbert thinks I'm cute.
Gilbert thinks I'm cute.
Gilbert thinks I'm cute.
I hated how my brain kept repeating this. And I hated how my heart was accelerating at an abnormal speed. The same thing had happened with Alfred, but this time, everything seemed so fresh, so new, and my heart's speed increased 100 times faster than it ever had with Alfred. I didn't understand what was going on, and it didn't help that my brain was repeating the surprising statement like song lyrics.
Gilbert thinks I'm cute.
Gilbert thinks I'm cute.
Gilbert thinks I'm cute.
Do I think he's cute...?
My last thought scared me. There was no possible way that I, Matthew Williams, could have feelings for Gilbert Beilschmidt. I tried to reassure my brain. There just couldn't. One) I'm not into guys. Two) If I was, I wouldn't be falling for Gilbert, of all people. So there's no way. There is absolutely no way...
My thoughts were interrupted by a loud knock. I was so absentminded that I felt myself moving towards the door, but in my head, I wasn't quite sure what I was doing. I felt as if someone else possessed my body, and I was floating somewhere in space. Just floating...
I immediately came back down to earth when I found out who had knocked. He was kind of hairy and looked like he was Latino, or maybe somewhere from the Caribbean. His appearance was a bit bulky, and his curly hair was tied back into a pony tail. He wore a colorful shirt and white shorts.
However, when I opened the door and he saw me, his neutral expression was replaced with wild hatred. I felt like a cornered puppy who was going to get kicked.
"ALFRED!" he screamed in his accent. I didn't understand what was going on.
Mattie. Y U NO UNDERSTAND YER FEELINGS? THESE ARE TEENAGE HORMONES, MATT. TEENAGE HORMONES.
Yeah~ Blame it on the hormones. That's what I do. :)
PLEASE READ and REVIEW! Or else... a certain Frenchman will appear in your room tonight. Ohohoho~
If Mattie or Gilbert seamed a bit OOC, let me know, okay? THE REVIEWERS OPINIONS MATTER.