Warning! Heavy mentions of abuse in this chapter!
This is getting a little heavy to write, so please don't blame me if some of the conversations are choppy! I'm trying my best.
Thanks for reading, and please review!
It was only 5:30 in the morning when Feliciano awoke, his head pounding and throat sore. He was drowsy and dizzy when he stood, the dark room spinning around him. The sun hadn't even started to rise yet, since daylight savings time was long gone. He stepped over to his dresser, pulling out the first pair of jeans he saw and a striped t-shirt. He changed slowly, sluggishly and exited his room. He was careful as he descended the stairs, because the house was old, and with a simple creak of the stairs he could wake Lovino.
His dark-haired twin had been avoiding him since their fight yesterday after Ludwig left. Feliciano had been kind of angry that Ludwig would leave like that, but he mentally slapped himself for thinking that because in the end, it had been him that had told Ludwig to leave. Feliciano now brandished bruised ribs and a sore throat for his mistake. They had yelled for a long while, they had screamed in anger at each other. That is, until their grandfather had come to break them apart. And no one would question their grandfather.
He walked quietly into the living room, and passed into the kitchen. Running some water, he pulled out some caffeinated tea and brewed himself a cup. He poured milk and honey and sugar into it, indulging himself in one of the only ways he could. He stood leaned against the counter while he drank it, waiting for the sun to start to rise.
He looked at the clock; 6:07 AM. He would have to leave soon, in order to avoid seeing Lovino, who would wake up at around 6:30 and leave at 6:40.
He looked over to his backpack that sat on the table, untouched since after school yesterday. He'd been so angry he was unable to think, unable to have a straight thought after the shouting match the previous day, he'd been unable to think about doing homework at all. Lovino's backpack had been taken up to his room, where he, presumably, did his assignments.
Feliciano shrugged on a blue zip-up hoodie and a brown corduroy coat, running his fingers through unkempt wavy hair. It was damn cold out that morning, at around freezing temperature. Shouldering his backpack, he set out for the bus stop.
At their school, there are two buses in the morning at each stop. There's the 6:20 bus and the 6:40 bus; the first bus simply picks up the kids that need to arrive at school early, and the second bus gets students to the school at the normal time. Classes were called to order at 7:00. He and Lovino normally take the second bus together, but today was different after the fight.
Feliciano walked down the dark street, looking around at the houses he saw. They looked like huge faces, with gaping mouths where the dark porches opened up, broken windows like eyes staring down at him. In the daylight the street was fine, but in the dark it was frightening. He wished Lovino was there. He walked faster.
He tried to keep his hands away from his sides, where he'd elbow his bruised ribs, but he couldn't find a comfortable pose to walk in at the same time. He ended up walking with his hands on his shoulders, arms crossed over his chest. He'd reached the stop sign, and somehow it was brighter here than before. There were no more silhouettes of trees above him, no more ghosts of houses gawking at him behind sidewalks. There was only the gray sky over the stop sign and the road, void of cars. A light fog had rolled in over the road, tiny yellow and red lights of cars visible down the long stretch.
Finally, the yellow bus rolled into sight. It stopped with a creak, and the door hissed open. The driver looked down at Feliciano, nodding a hello. He stepped onto the bus, looking back into the rows and the door swung shut behind him. There were only a few people on the bus, since not many high school students are early risers anyways. He sat down in the second-to-last seat on the left side of the bus.
The taste of his overly-sweetened tea still clung to his mouth and he popped in his earbuds. A familiar song came on, one of his old favorites from freshman year. He mouthed the words as the bus started to roll.
It was at lunch that he started to feel more optimistic about the day, because he knew he'd get to see Ludwig again. Even after the fight, the notion that he'd get to see his friend again was exciting at best. Maybe he'd have a chance to explain things to Ludwig, maybe apologize.
He had arrived at the lunch table first, waiting for Kiku and Ludwig to arrive. It didn't take long, though, and the three of them greeted each other warmly.
Kiku started to talk about a program he'd downloaded on his laptop that he could use to make games; he'd decided he was going to make a puzzle horror game. Feliciano spouted ideas for him, elaborating excitedly on an idea for a monster made out of pasta.
He and Ludwig had made eye contact once, Ludwig's gaze full of worry and guilt. Of course, he'd have to apologize to him. He'd have to wait until after lunch, when Kiku wasn't present. They chattered on throughout lunch, drawing little sketches to help Kiku with his game. Kiku turned out to be amazing at drawing. While Feliciano preferred painting to anything else, he wasn't bad either and soon the two of them had filled a page of loose-leaf paper while the blonde critiqued them and gave them more ideas.
It was when the rest of the lunchroom had started to stand up that had made Feliciano a little bewildered. How was he supposed to get Ludwig alone when they were standing in a crowd of students? He glanced over at the blonde, who caught his gaze, and seemed to take a cue, grabbing Feliciano's wrist and pulling him through the crowd. "Come with me," Ludwig had said, leading him out into the hallway and into the men's bathroom, which was thankfully empty as the students outside shuffled to their next classes.
It was here when an uncomfortable silence began.
"I'm s-" Feliciano began.
"I'm sorry." Ludwig cut him off with his own apology. "I shouldn't have asked about your parents, and even when I did. I shouldn't have left you there with your brother so angry like that.
Feliciano was speechless. He did nothing but stare into the pale eyes of the boy in front of him, a shocked and pained expression on his face. The blonde looked so sincere, and meeting someone like that for the first time in so long was… almost refreshing.
He finally moved himself to speak, glancing down at his shoes. "I… n-no. It's not your fault at all, Ludwig. Lovino was just angry. It's really alright."
"Are you sure you're alright?"
He looked back up into the blue eyes, and in that moment, he broke. "I. Yes. No? N-no, I'm not alright!" Tears at the corners of his eyes threatened to spill over. "F-first it's these bullies, then they ruined homecoming, and now Lovino hates my only friend?"
Just then, Ludwig stepped forward and swept Feliciano up into a hug. It wasn't a crushing hug, but it wasn't soft either, and Feliciano clung to the blonde as hot tears slipped from his eyes. "I-I'm so sorr-e-ee…" Feliciano said quietly, the echoes in the bathroom magnifying the sounds he made.
Ludwig just held onto the boy, unsure of exactly what to do, but realized that this hug was probably a good idea. Suddenly, Feliciano recoiled from him, mutters of ow, ow heard from the smaller's lips.
"Feliciano, what's wrong?"
"It's- it's nothing. Lovino, yesterday he- really, it's fine."
Ludwig looked panicked. "It's not fine! You just said so yourself! What did he do!?"
Feliciano looked up at Ludwig again, suddenly placed with this decision of trust. "He… after you left, well." He clutched at the hem of his shirt, pulling it down slightly.
Ludwig looked down. He'd figured out what had happened. His chest tightened as he looked at the dark circles under the redhead's eyes. He quite obviously hadn't slept well. "Are you sure you're alright? I've… I've already played a part in this. I need to help you."
Feliciano's eyes itched. "I don't think… that I can go home today. I haven't seen him since yesterday when we were fighting, and I just… I don't want to go back home today."
"Come over to my house. After school, you can spend the night." Ludwig met Feli's eyes again, and Feliciano nodded.
"I'd… really appreciate it, Ludwig." Feliciano really smiled for the first time that day.
Ludwig had made a cellphone call home to his dad, who was supposedly sleeping. His father picked up with a drowsy 'hello?' He'd quickly explained that a friend of his was going to spend the night, so to expect a guest after school. He hung up before his father could protest.
He told Feliciano to meet him on bus N after school, and when Feliciano climbed on the bus, Ludwig was already there waiting for him. They sat in the front of the bus, talking idly about something Feliciano had heard on the news. It didn't take long for the bus to arrive at Ludwig's neighborhood, which was a relatively upscale one at that. He and Feli stepped off of the rumbling bus and it started moving again.
The two of them walked down the curving sidewalk for only about five houses, reaching Ludwig's rather quickly. They walked around to the side, past the tall stone porch you needed two steps to get up to. The house was very tall as well, probably two floors with high ceilings, Feli assumed. They approached the white side door and Ludwig unlocked it with a number code, then they entered the cream-colored house.
Feli had been right; the ceilings were rather tall, a white support beam rising into the ceiling from the hardwood floor. Ludwig was quick to take them upstairs (pausing to take his shoes off, of course; Feliciano did the same) and they entered his bedroom.
Ludwig turned to him. "Well… this is my room."
Inside here, things weren't as pristine as the kitchen or living room. A poster hung crookedly on the wall, displaying some rock band. There were a few weights in one corner; they looked like they hadn't been used in a while. Off to the side, there was a door that lead to a small bathroom with a sink and a toilet. The walls in the room were painted a medium green, and the carpet was white. Sunlight threatened to pervade the window through the tilted slats, but couldn't quite shine bright enough through the clouds. The bed was placed in the center of one wall, with white comforters that hadn't been made entirely.
"Thanks for having me over, Ludwig!" Feliciano smiled at him.
They talked for a while, about random things. About Kiku, about the rumor they'd heard, about movies again, about food. Ludwig shared his love for weapons; he showed Feliciano some magazines showing off 'Last Year's Top 100 Guns!', and they'd spent a while leafing through it. It was really peaceful, Ludwig thought.
Ludwig's father eventually came upstairs to say hello, and the blonde introduced him to Feliciano. "Ve~ It's nice to meet you~" Feliciano had said, smiling wide.
"Ah, it's nice to meet you too." Mr. Beilschmidt was a bit confused, and he sent a look over to Ludwig, who just scowled. Of course his father would find it strange that a friend was spending the night on a Wednesday. He left quickly, saying he had a lot of work to do.
This left Feliciano and Ludwig alone again. They talked for a while longer, by the yellow lamplight coming from the bedside table. "Do you want to borrow some pajamas or something?" Ludwig said.
Feliciano shook his head immediately, almost too quickly. "No, I'm sure I'll be fine~" He said, his voice betraying him when it cracked on the last syllable. He crossed his arms lightly over his stomach.
"Show me." Ludwig said, his pale eyes searching for Feliciano's brown ones.
Feliciano just puffed out a breath. "I'm… I'm alright. I swear."
Ludwig moved over to him, taking his hand. "Show me. Please."
Feliciano closed his eyes and lifted the hem of his striped shirt, pulling it up just above his ribs. He heard Ludwig draw a breath, and he winced. What Ludwig saw were blotches of black and purple skin, bruises left by kicks and fighting and tears. He pulled Feliciano's shirt back down, and just hugged the red-head. Feliciano clung to him, holding onto Ludwig's shoulders with his skinny arms.
"He did this to you? Your brother?"
"He… please don't blame Lovino. He just… gets really sensitive when people talk about our parents. He's just… upset with the world and how it works. He doesn't mean what he says," Feliciano exhaled. "or does."
Ludwig gave him a steady look.
"I'm tired, so let's sleep, okay~?" Feliciano tried to keep himself from sounding sad. He was tired of being sad.
"Y-yeah. Let's sleep." Ludwig laid down on one side of the bed, waited for Feliciano to settle into the other side, and switched off the light.
I'm really not content with how that last scene came out, but I have to get working on chapter 6. Hopefully it won't be as heavy or bad hehehe
The next side-pairing will be LietPol, I've decided. It will most likely be around chapter 8 or 9.
Thanks again!