Hey guys, I got a lot of reviews for the past chapter and I just wanted to say thanks and that all of you are awesome. I wanted to get this out fast for you guys but I just couldn't write it. I knew what this chapter was about but it was really hard forming concrete scenes.
note: I reuploaded this because after rereading what i posted yesterday I found that there was need for some changes. Sorry if you're receiving alers about this twice.
Madge walks away quickly before she allows herself to change her mind about Gale, which no doubt she will if she had stayed with him longer. She didn't dare look back, because she wouldn't be able to keep walking if she did. When she finally gets home, there's tears threatening to leak out of her eyes, but she blinks them away like she has for the past few months. Her mind was made up that she couldn't give Gale the ability to break her heart again, but her heart was screaming to her that it's worth the risk, that all of this is right and meant to be.
She had been doing fine up until now, staying far enough from people to not get attached to them, leaving no chance of losing people she cared about ever gain. But if anyone was going to be able to change that, she knew that it would be Gale Hawthorne, ever since she was young he's just had that affect on her, but if anyone was going to be able to break her more than she already was, she knew that it would be Gale Hawthorne as well.
Yet, Gale had been so sincere and nice to her, it was almost like the old times again when they were actually friends, did her just forget that he had ignored her for months and basically abandoned her? He couldn't possibly expect her to do the same, or to forgive him; but he had sounded so genuine, it took all she had to walk away from him, to not just fall into him steady arms and release all her built up emotions inside of her like she use to do in the meadow back home.
In all honesty, Madge had missed Gale, whether she consciously acknowledges it or not, the oldest Hawthorne brother was always in the back of her head. She had seen him on TV, obviously, since he was the infamous war hero. After Katniss, he had probably starred in the most propos that the rebels released. She thought that he must be happy, finally getting the attention, the wealth, most importantly the ability to steadily support his family. Madge knew that he had wanted it back in 12, to be able to have enough money to get his family a big house and food on the table for every meal; but she wonders if he misses his old life now that he's got the new one. He probably does, he was Gale, and she knows that he couldn't really be happy with just these material things. She actually haven't heard about him in a while, she didn't know why he was here in district 2, when he got here, if he's here alone, nothing. She wants to know if the rest of the Hawthorne's came with him, she's missed them too. She use to visit their home in the seam a lot, always found an odd sense of comfort with the big family that she didn't with her own parents. She makes a mental notes to find out if they're here, and to maybe visit them; afterall, one visit wouldn't do any harm could it? It wouldn't really count as attaching herself to people.
As the evening slowly ticks by, Madge starts thinking about Gale more and more, and the hint of regret starts gnawing at her, making her question if she had made the right choice in not giving in to her heart.
She supposes that it wouldn't be all bad if she bumps into him again, even if it's to just see him once more. Fate has it's funny way with things, and whatever is meant to happen will play out like how it's supposed to be.
Gale lays in his room that night in silence, still yet to comprehend what has happened.
He had been so happy when he saw her. He had tried to save her. When the bombs started dropping it was the mayor's house that he ran for right after sending his own family to safety. But when he reached her house it was already in flames. He had always kept an eye out for her in district 13, hoping that she had somehow made it, but she never showed and he blamed himself for it.
And now he's found her, alive and well in district 2, except she wasn't really here.
He tries to convince himself that he could care less about Madge Undersee, that how she is doesn't affect him one bit. But whatever he tells himself fails to work, because his mind keeps going back to the beautiful blond. He had messed up, he ruined a great friendship, and potential relationship, all because he didn't want to have the chance of getting abandoned by a mayor's daughter who he obviously did not deserve. He knows that he had definitely cared about her more than just someone to talk to during a dark period of his life, if things were different and time and luck was on their side, he was sure that he would come to love her. Madge had always been so bubbly, so cheerful and optimistic despite her life being so complicated and twisted. She was special, and Gale is really starting to regret not holding onto her for as long as he could. And yet she had looked so empty today, so cold and emotionless, the war seemingly to have finally broken down one of the strongest girls that Gale's ever met.
With or without the complications of their past, Madge was someone from home, a person of the past, and that was reason enough to go try and talk to her once again. Gale decided that no matter what, he couldn't just forget about Undersee, he had to try and break her shell, and piece back together the Madge Undersee he knew.
Work next morning seems to last forever, as Gale looks at the clock every few minutes until he is free to go. When his training sessions was finally over and one by one the recruits fill out through the door, Gale grabbed his jacket and quickly headed towards the hospital.
It's only once he reaches the double doors of the main medical building, did he realize that he had no idea how to find Madge. Sure he knew that she was working here, but it was a big place, not to mention filled with hundreds of people hustling along their busy lives.
Hw decides to just take a seat in front of the front door, waiting for the familiar figure to appear, even though he knows that the chances of meeting her like this might be slim. Just as he was sitting down, a calling in the distance pulls away his worries.
"Madgey!" a voice was saying, and he turns his head into its direction to see Madge being followed closely by a guy he's never seen before. At first he was glad that he found Madge, but not after seeing how the guy was chasing her. He looked to be about the same age as Gale himself, perhaps a year or two younger. He had light blond hair, and from what Gale can tell from a far, attributes that greatly resembled the townies that once lived in district 12. He rolls his eyes at this without thinking. And Madgey? What kind of idiot was he, using nicknames like this. Was he her boyfriend or something? Because what else would give him a reason to call her that? But Madge didn't exactly seem to be interested either. Gale observes the way she's constantly backing away, and how she always starts to pull away when he grabs onto her arms. He moves closer and leans forward forward, his ears craning to hear as much as he can of the conversation.
"-Toni, I told you not today, I'm busy," Madge was saying. So his name was Toni.
"Madgey come'on you've been saying that for a couple of days now!" Madge turns to respond to him and Gale misses what she says because her back is facing him. Whatever she says though, it didn't seem to do much in terms of keeping "Toni" away, because he just kept following closely behind as Madge turns away from him to leave.
Without processing anything in his mind, Gale finds himself make his way towards the two. Why, he did not know, much less what he was going to do when he actually got there.
"Madge!" Gale finds himself yelling out, and she lifts her head. Her eyes register him and they are a mix of surprise and confusion. They soften though, when Gale sends her a knowing look that she seems to understand almost immediate despite the lack of any verbal communication.
"Who's this?" Toni asks, having caught up to Madge since she had stopped her fast steps.
"I can ask the same thing," replies Gale.
"Madge what is this, do you have a boyfriend or something?"
Out of the corner of his eyes Gale sees Madge's shocked expression and her mouth opening to probably deny this. "So what is I am?" he blurts out before Madge has a chance to say anything, and he smirks to himself when he sees the glare Madge sends him.
"Didn't know you had one,"Toni says says as he casts glances over at Gale, "You could have told me that." There's an awfully long and awkward silence, until Toni says "Well, see you around I guess, Madge"
Toni scurries away quickly and both Gale and Madge wait until he's out of sight before turning to face each other.
"What was that?" Madge demands as soon as Toni disappeared through the hospital doors again.
"Trying to help a friend." He answers smugly as his attempt to lighten the mood.
"Well, first of all I don't need your help, two, I'm not your friend!" There's that anger again in her voice, the anger that makes Gale's insides turn.
"Madge enough of this cold shoulder act, stop shutting me out. I came all the way here, and I'm trying to talk to you." He talks with a steady tone, not too soft but not overly demanding either, "Madge I want to know what happened to you, how you got here, why no one's heard from for the past year. Talk to me." The last three words comes out more as a plea, something Gale was not intending to to.
"Gale," the way she says his name, so familiar but yet so foreign, it reminds him of the Madge he had been friends with, but also makes him realize just how much things have changed, "What are you even doing here? If you walked over here just to help me get away from Toni then thanks, you can go now. I'm sure you have other things to do."
"Madge I came here just to talk to you, don't pretend like you didn't know that." Madge tries to keep her face blank and unreadable, but Gale knew her too well. Her deep blue eyes were failing her, and Gale saw right through it.
Why Gale is here again, Madge doesn't know. What she does know is that her heart had been beating terribly fast since he had appeared out of no where to free her from Toni, and that there's probably still be a blush on her face from when he had claimed to be her boyfriend. Madge also knows that its getting more and more difficult to act like she doesn't care when it meant the world to her that he came all the way to the hospital just so he can speak with her.
She wasn't sure how to respond to what he had just said, so instead she asked a question that she had been wanting to ask ever since they had kissed. "So what, you suddenly care now?"
"I've always cared Madge, I know that things got kind of weird between us, but I never stopped caring about you. I really want us to be friends again." Madge had almost forgotten how sincere and endearing Gale can be when he's not his usual sarcastic self. And as she looks into those mesmerizing silver eyes, it would have been so easy at that moment to just believe his words and forget about all the bad stuff that's happened. Madge wanted to just tell him about everything that's been building up inside of her, she wanted to just lean in and kiss those chapped lips she had missed so much over and over again, even if he never felt the same way.
But she just couldn't. Not when it was so obvious that she had just been a replacement for Katniss, the perfect girl who only became the mockingjay after Madge gave her the token before her first games. It wasn't fair that he left Madge alone when she needed him the most, and it certainly wasn't okay for him to waltz back into her life retending that everything was fine.
"Sure seem like you did huh?" she replies dryly.
"Madge I know that I messed up, and you probably hate me right now. But. But I'm sorry. I really am. " That's the things though, Madge didn't hate him, never have and never will.
At this point Madge was fighting back the tears and afraid to speak because her voice is sure to crack. "I don't hate you," she weakly manages. Gale opens his mouth to speak but she beats him to it "look Gale I wish that things were just easy. I really do. I want to be able to be friends with you again and act as if nothing changed since our last night in the meadows. But I'm tired of not being good enough to be the first choice, tired of being a replacement-"
"Who said anything about you being-" again she cuts him off.
"And I'm sick of losing everyone that I cared about. I just can't deal with everything anymore Gale. And I can't let you just barge into my life again, especially not after everything that's happened in the past year. I'm not the same Madge Undersee you knew, just like I'm sure you're different from the old Gale Hawthorne too."
Madge hopes that Gale can understand what she's trying to articulate because her mind is failing to produce the right words. She sees him nod in understanding and sees the hurt in his eyes. Madge watches him pull out a small brown notepad and a pen from his pockets and she wonders internally what he was doing as he began scribbling onto it. Finally he stops and rips the page off, sliding the piece of paper into her hands, only letting go of it once he was sure that she was holding onto it. His touch leaves her skin tingling but she ignores it like she did everything else.
"Just in case," he tells her with a smile, " you'll know where to find me." Then he leans in and places a gentle kiss on her forehead before turning to leave without giving her a chance to say anything else.
Madge watches his silhouette disappear in the distant as her hand tightly holds the small piece of paper. She goes to put it in her bag, choosing to let it rest in the dark corners of it before shes able to talk herself into reading it.
so that was that. I'm sorry if there's grammar mistakes its late and I wrote some of it on my iPod because i was writing directly on the site and had to rewrite it after my computer's internet crashed. I hope you liked the chapter, it was hard to get started but I hope it turned out okay.
Obviously they have deep feelings for each other, but they just don't want to admit it to each other.
Let me know what you think with your reviews. Oh and you can go on my tumblr page with any requests or questions. It's in my profile so... It's not my main blog so it'll be mostly fanfiction stuff but its there so.
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