In less than a week, Naruto got used to going to the old Uchiha compound instead of his apartment. The first thing Sirius had noticed was that Harry and Naruto had similar builds, so he took Harry clothes shopping to get Naruto a new wardrobe.
Since the blond actually did love orange in all forms, Sirius got him a few shorts and a shirt with orange tints. He idly wondered if the kid would become a Cannons fan.
The next thing was an entirely new set of school books, claiming Harry had been learning how to use a fireball and they had caught fire. Since he lived with Sirius and Itachi, no one questioned the lie.
And the final thing he did was go over Naruto's apartment and taking anything salvageable with him.
Naruto wasn't exactly upset by the news that his home was officially labeled condemned after all the damage the last mob did to it.
At least his new home had hot water and clean sheets.
True to Sarutobi's prediction, there was a bit of an uproar that Naruto had unofficially been adopted by the remaining Uchiha members.
That had lasted all of five minutes before Sirius started hexing people into random animals. Civilian or not, you do not fuck with a Black.
Sirius would later be horrified when he found out he was channeling his cousin Narcissa at her worst. The tone he used was sickeningly polite, but no less dangerous by Shinobi standards.
"Am I to understand that you believe an eight-year-old child who has done nothing more thank play some relatively minor pranks is a demon? That a child who has never once raised a hand against people who would gladly see him dead on the street for no other reason than existing is some sort of monster?"
"That boy is...!" started one man, but he was silenced by a kunai thrown at him by one of the shinobi.
"I don't give a damn about what you believe that boy to be. I followed him the day after the festival and all I saw was an innocent child being ostracized by an ungrateful village who hated him for no apparent reason other than being alive. That boy had done absolutely nothing wrong to a single person. Any relatively sane person could see that his pranks are nothing more than a cry for attention. And if I hear one more word about him being a demon, I will use my illusions on the first person to piss me off. And I can be very...creative...when pushed," Sirius snarled.
"Enough! Sirius, sit down," said Sarutobi. Sirius glared at them one last time but reluctantly did so. But the threat of violence was still very present around Black.
"I for one agree with Black-san. I am disgusted at the sheer amount of anger and hate directed a child who has never so much as lifted a hand against the people who have tried to kill him over the years. It amazes me Naruto still even cares for this village, because I sincerely doubt any other child would feel the same," said the Hokage coldly.
"But he's..." started Councilwoman Haruno.
"An innocent child who had no more control over being born that day than you would have control over how Black would react if you continue," said Sarutobi flatly.
Danzo looked very much like he wanted to say something, but the look Sirius shot him had him keep his silence. Sirius was one word away from sending quite a few people into a Tsukiyomi-induced coma. And judging by the look Sarutobi had on his face, he wasn't planning to stop him until after the fact.
The fact was Sarutobi was sick and tired of seeing Naruto in bad condition and the way his apartment was completely destroyed every year because of the damn Fox.
With the tension in the air, Sarutobi decided to bring this to an end as fast as he could.
"Now, if there are any reasonable explanations as to why Sirius Black cannot adopt Naruto, let them out now. And they had better be damn good ones, and not because the boy is a 'demon', or because he could possibly tarnish the honor of the Uchiha clan, diminished as it is."
There was nothing but silence. Except for Danzo's clear voice.
"What about the fact he is a foreigner who has no real ties to the village?"
Sirius glared at the one-eyed war hawk.
"What part of 'I could care less about England' do you not get? I happen to like Konoha, though that is still up for debate with what's happened recently," Sirius shot back.
"The fact remains that you are not from this village and your loyalty is questionable at best," Danzo said back, his eye glinting in a way Sirius really didn't like.
"Family sticks together, even if the blood isn't strong. There is no chance in hell I am abandoning those boys after what happened," said Sirius flatly.
Danzo and Sirius stared off...before the sound of laughter was heard from the shinobi side.
"Ha! Well said, for a civilian. I have no problems with him takin' in the brat," said Tsume, who lead the Inuzuka clan.
"I have no issues with it either," said Hiashi stiffly. While brash, there was no mistaking the loyalty towards family Sirius had. He would go against the Hokage himself if it meant protecting his kin, and he respected that.
"There's also the fact that Naruto's pranks might actually go down if someone actually cared for him," said Shikaku, head of the Nara clan. Chouza and Inoichi agreed with him.
One-by-one, the shinobi clan heads agreed that it was probably fine if Sirius adopted Naruto. A few brave Civilian council members even joined in.
"It's decided. Naruto is now the ward of Sirius Black-Uchiha," said Sarutobi.
Since there was little meaning to hashing over the same things, the meeting disbanded a little early.
"Honto?" said Naruto.
"Better believe it, fox boy. You're one of us now," said Sirius.
"One of us, one of us, one of us..." Harry and Sasuke started to chant eerily, to Itachi's amusement.
Itachi however, turned to Sirius.
"You do realize that any complaints about Naruto will now come directly to you, and that you will have to pay for any damages he causes?" he said dryly.
"Bah, just means I have to teach him how to frame others before I really get him started on pranks!"
Naruto looked at him in surprise.
"I don't have to give up my pranks?" he said in surprise.
"Hell no! I was known as oneof the biggest pranksters back when I was in school! But we will be reviewing basic methods of diverting attention to others...so long as you don't frame anyone in here."
Naruto started bowing saying he wasn't worthy...and the Hokage had a chill go down his spine.
Time Skip four years...
"GET BACK HERE DAMMIT!"
Sirius paused in buying food for dinner (only Itachi and Harry were allowed to cook more than instant food) to watch the chaos.
Naruto, Harry and Sasuke had come along well in his basic prank skills, though only Harry and Naruto had bothered to learn the intermediate stuff.
Today Harry and Naruto had used an old history book to paint the Hokage mountain and make it look like they were alive again. Though for some reason they couldn't find any pictures of the Fourth, so they had enlisted the help of Itachi who was the only one who knew what the man had looked like.
More than a few people did a double take when they saw the blond Hokage looking alive again on the mountainside and the fact Naruto almost looked like a younger version. Some even put two and two together and figured that maybe there was a relation between the two.
Among those who knew the truth, it was amusing to see people go around in circles and never figure out the reality.
Sirius chuckled and headed back to the compound, where the accursed paperwork from hell awaited.
More than a few time Itachi heard the man mumble about burning it all...and how no one would know it was gone. He would never tell the man, but it was frighteningly similar to the sound of the Third Hokage some days.
He did however burn any complaints about Naruto from the school or businesses claiming that he 'damaged' something when they weren't involved in a prank.
Naruto had a lot of fun practicing his fireballs on those.
Sirius paused when he heard the boys cry out in disappointment at failing to evade Iruka long enough to reach the compound, which was an agreed upon safe zone.
If they had made it that far Itachi would have taken them out training and they would have gotten off relatively free. Ever since he retired from the ANBU, he had been a lot easier to talk to.
Sasuke was more than happy about the fact Itachi was around more. Even though Sirius had taken over as clan head, Itachi was still the heir. When he was ready, Itachi would take over for Sirius.
Not that Itachi ever would, since he didn't want to deal with either the council or the damn paperwork.
Besides, he liked just being a regular shinobi.
Today was the exam for genin, again. When Itachi learned of Naruto's issue with the regular clone, he promptly taught him the shadow clone.
Sirius could only hope that none of the boys ended up with a fan girl. He had seen the girls practicing once, and they had made him wince.
For some reason, he had yet to acquire any, which according to Itachi was an Uchiha curse.
Humming a tune while he walked, ignoring the cries of fury from the pursuing shinobi, he wondered where Remus was.
And why the wolf had never contacted him.
Sirius took his customary spot in the boy's class. Iruka had allowed it once he figured that the large dog wouldn't actually do anything to distract him or the kids and was just there out of boredom. No one had ever figured out the dog was Sirius, and he liked it that way.
The only thing he didn't like was one of the teachers. Mizuki, the man with hair very similar to Itachi's former friend Kakashi, gave Sirius a bad feeling. Mostly because of the looks he shot Naruto, who had shot up almost like a rocket with all the new help and food he had been getting. He was no longer the dead last or the shortest kid in class. Now he was easily on the same level as Ino Yamanaka, one of Sasuke's fan girls.
After the first scream fest that nearly killed his hearing, the girls had learned rather quickly not to do their banshee impersonation whenever he came into their class.
His barking had drawn a lot of unwanted attention from the other shinobi, and it had taken the translation from Kiba to find out why he was barking at all. The fact he was whining for real only made his request more reasonable.
Well, that and Iruka got onto them about how Shinobi are supposed to be quiet, not shriek so loud that it would draw attention for miles.
Sirius barked in laughter when Naruto got Iruka with his Sexy Jutsu, and Harry one-upped him by turning into Iruka as a sexy woman without clothes. The laughter of the children was only outdone by the Giant Demon Head of Iruka.
The fact Sirius was still snickering in amusement (which Iruka somehow knew the dog was laughing at him) did not help him.
Once Sirius heard the requirements for graduating, he went with Naruto and Harry back to the house while Sasuke got the groceries. By unofficial agreement, only Sasuke, Itachi or Sirius were allowed to get groceries since the clerks would try to overcharge Harry or Naruto.
Sirius went into his room and shifted back, pretending to yawn.
"So did you guys get the requirements?"
"Clone is a cert," said Naruto.
"Naturally. Which means you two will be... Do either of you hear knocking?" he said.
Sure enough, there was the sound of knocking. Sirius hated standing on ceremony as much as Naruto did. If people wanted to come visit them, they would announce themselves loudly like Naruto would or just barge in. They rarely if ever knocked politely.
And the ANBU tended to show up in the open areas of the garden if they wanted someone.
Sirius immediately drew his wand and signaled the boys to take cover. It wouldn't be the first time they had an attack in the mostly empty Uchiha district. It usually took three minutes for reinforcements to arrive.
He knew...because he had timed it once.
Sirius opened the door, knowing that if anything happened Itachi was hiding behind him with that weird screen thing shinobi sometimes used.
His wand was ready to hex anyone stupid enough to cause trouble.
He nearly dropped it when he saw who was there.
"Moony?"
"Where is Harry?"
"Hold up. If you really are Moony, what incident nearly ruined our friendship if James hadn't intervened?" said Sirius. He wouldn't put it past the old goat to send a Moony look alike.
"You nearly got Severus infected by sending him my way on a full moon, but James found out at the last minute," said Remus. His eyes narrowed.
"What was the one thing you swore you would never do when you finally moved in with James' family?"
"Return to Grimmauld Place. No way in hell am I listening to my mother's portrait scream at me for abandoning their pure blood tripe," said Sirius. An idea came to him and he showed both arms.
No Dark Mark.
"But... this doesn't make any sense! If you don't have the mark then why..."
"Peter. Little rat bastard pulled a fast one, and he was chosen as keeper to keep the Death Eaters guessing. I had no idea he was the traitor, I swear Moony. If you want to see Harry, you can come in, but if you try to kidnap him for Dumbledore you'll find it harder even for your...furry...form."
Itachi appeared behind Sirius.
"What is going on?"
"Someone trying to cause trouble. don't worry, he's relatively harmless..." said Sirius.
"This coming from the only man brave enough to dump Itching powder into the girl's dorm rooms..." muttered Remus.
"It was James' idea and you know it! Lily hexed us all equally if you recall!" said Sirius, not bothering to deny it.
"Uncle Sirius, who is the old guy?" asked Harry in blunt English.
Remus sputtered.
"I'm not that old! I'm the same age as this bloody mutt!"
"Then why's your hair all gray?" asked Naruto.
Remus turned around to glare at the laughing Sirius.
"I blame you."
"He did train us to mention the gray hairs if you ever showed up," said Sasuke bluntly.
"Oh really?" said Remus.
Sirius squawked when he felt the spell hit his hair.
"DAMMIT MOONY! YOU KNOW I HATE PINK!" yelped Sirius.
Remus grinned at the sound of the boys laughing at him.
"So...why did you move all the way to the barrier?"
"Moony, remember how I was always so good at illusions even though I couldn't cast one to save my own ass?"
"Drove James up the wall trying to figure that out," said Remus knowingly.
"It's an inherited trick. Itachi?"
"Sirius is our distant cousin. A few months after his escape and retrieving the little imp, he sent a letter to our clan asking if he could come see us. Naturally we were surprised to hear from the Black clan after the failed merger of bloodlines, but our father agreed to it, curious why the magicals were bothering us after a century. Before we came back from escorting him back to the village, the clan was destroyed in a single night. Sirius took the position as clan head since I wasn't old enough to legally do it," said Itachi.
"So your weird illusions are a blood trait, like parseltongue?" said Remus.
"A part of it. A very small, small part..." muttered Sirius, trying and failing to remove the spell. Eventually he gave up. Then he rounded at Itachi.
"And the only reason I was chosen as clan head is because you never told me how much damn paperwork was involved! Only an insane person would enjoy it!"
Itachi snorted in amusement.
"Paperwork?" said Remus, trying not to laugh. Sirius had a bit of an...allergy...to anything related to paperwork. More than once Scrimgour got on his ass for burning it.
Itachi smirked, and began to tell stories of what had occurred with Sirius around while Remus traded tales of their school days to the boys amusement. Sirius made the appropriate offended sounds, but he was actually relieved. He hadn't know how being the only trained wizard would feel.