Seasons of Wither, Chapter 2
I try to tell myself that what happened between Gale and I in the meadow won't come between us. I tell myself that nothing can break a friendship like this. Gale is still the same person, and so am I. The fact that it happened shouldn't change a thing.
But it does.
The next couple of weeks are awkward. We still hunt everyday, mostly because of the fact that we have very little choice in the matter. Our families still need to be fed, and there's still not enough food to go around in the district. But our families aren't the only ones relying on our daily kill. There's the other families that we trade with and the medicinal herbs that I gather for my mother that only grow outside the fence.
There is the thought that maybe we should talk about what happened, but I can tell that neither of us want to. It won't change anything and it certainly won't fix anything. I start to regret that it had even happened, especially now that every time I see Gale I'm instantly reminded of what he looks like without his clothes on. And every time that he inadvertently brushes against me, I remember the way our bodies melded together as one in the tall grass beneath that enormous oak tree.
I can't talk to him the way that I used to. I don't even feel comfortable around him anymore. I can tell by the way that he tries to keep his distance and our conversation at a minimum that it's been just as awkward for him even though he's already slept with a handful of girls. Those girls, however, weren't his hunting buddies. They weren't his best friend of the past four years.
Gale is quick to check the snares this morning as I follow behind him. Four rabbits and raccoon, which has just recently been snagged and tosses itself around in a frenzy to escape. I quickly hand Gale my knife and he spears it carefully, quickly killing the animal. Raccoon isn't a regular delicacy for us, but we have learned not to waste what we kill, and it's most likely that his pelt will be worth more than the meat on his bones.
"I promised I'd gather barberry for my mother," I finally tell him, and he nods. I have to sigh to myself at how cold we've been towards one-another. I tell myself that we will get through this and regain the friendship we once had. I want to believe that, but it's becoming hard to imagine now.
I walk down towards the brook where the plants are greener and more luscious. I find the one I'm looking for. Barberry is an ancient remedy for stomach discomfort, and my mother uses a lot of it. I make sure to keep her in good supply at all times. I wouldn't want the guilt of a child writhing in pain from a tummy ache on my head, after all.
As I lean down to pick the plants, the strange aroma of decomposing flesh hits me all at once. My nose wrinkles in distaste as I stand back up and follow the overpowering scent. I gasp when I reach the source of the smell—a rotting deer carcass lying only about 20 feet away from where I had just been gathering herbs. Although this is the woods and animals are living things that can also die of disease and not always at the hand of man, it's very unusual to find the dead carcass of such a sizable one. Usually they know that death is coming, and often find a quiet hiding spot to die.
I sink down on my knees beside the doe, studying her curiously. No bite wounds, and the animal doesn't look very old. I furrow my brows as I retrieve my knife and cut into it's belly. The meat is obviously no longer good, but I should probably be able to get something for the hide. But I almost vomit as a strange bright green foam leaks from the wound almost immediately, and my hand quickly covers my nose as I try desperately not to throw up.
"Gale!"
My discovery is so unusual that I find myself almost panic-stricken. Sure enough, Gale is tearing through the woods towards me in seconds, wielding his readied bow with a look of worry evident on his face. He looks somewhat relieved when he sees that I am not under attack, and attempts to catch his breath as he stares down at me.
"Are you okay?" he asks me breathlessly, and I instantly feel a bit guilty for worrying him. His eyes scan to the deer at my side, his wrist coming up to cover his nose. "Did you kill that?"
I shake my head. "I found it dead here. I thought maybe she'd been attacked by a mountain cat, but there's no scratch or bite marks on it's body. No sign of why she died. Oh, except for this," I add, holding my knife up so that he can see the glob of green foam on its blade.
Gale sinks down onto his knees before studying the animal apprehensively. He frowns as he stares at the green foam spewing from the belly of the dead, bloated animal in front of us. "Did you touch it?" he asks me, and I stare back at him confused. "Did you touch the dead deer!" he asks again, this time shouting. I flinch at his outburst as he looks at me desperately for an answer.
"Yeah, to skin it, but-" He doesn't let me finish and instead takes me by the arm and pulls me down towards the water. "Gale, what's going on?" I ask him in a slightly frightened tone.
"Wash your hands off," he gruffly orders. "Whatever killed that deer might be contagious, and you came in contact with it. Where's your knife?" he asks.
"I left it up on the bank."
"Get rid of it. Kick it into the brook and leave it."
I do as Gale says, removing my hunting jacket and washing my hands and forearms thoroughly. I become a bit paranoid by Gale's seriousness, although I'm pretty sure he's just overreacting. When I walk back up to the bank, he's standing over the carcass staring down at it with anger in his eyes, shaking his head.
"Gale, it's going to be okay. There's a lot more deer to be hunted here."
"Don't you get it, Katniss?" he asks me. "This animal didn't die of natural causes. Have you ever heard of a sickness like this? This is obviously biologic warfare, compliments of the Capital."
My mouth goes agape as we stare at one another, and I'm pretty sure his cheese has just slipped off of his cracker. "Gale," I begin, bracing his arm in an effort to sooth him, but he quickly pulls from my grasp. I sigh. "You're being ridiculous, Gale. Animals die of strange diseases all the time. Not everything bad that happens is some conspiracy from the Capital to do us in."
"I'd like to believe that, but-"
"No buts," I say sternly, becoming increasingly irritated with the boy. "We've been hunting here daily, and this is the first sick animal we've seen. If it were really something the Capital concocted up to kill off the animals, there would be a lot more damage than one dead doe."
"You're being very naive, Katniss. We know what they're capable of."
Gale may have a point. If the Capital were aware of how self-effecient District 12 had become by our sneaking outside the fence to poach, undoubtedly they would be angry. The Capital wants every district to rely on them for their food source, and they wouldn't think twice about exterminating the wildlife here if they knew we were using it to our advantage. However, I'm feeling tired and irritated, so I choose to ignore that particular possibility.
Although still obviously upset by my discovery, Gale seems to calm himself down a bit. It doesn't stop me from not wanting to be around him though.
"I'm going to gather the rest of my mother's herbs and go home," I finally tell him. We only have the rabbits and the raccoon, but I'm not sure I can stand another minute alone with him in these woods.
An hour later, my sack is filled with the necessary medicines my mother needs, and I take a little break without Gale to sit down and take a long drink of water from my canteen. I feel worn out after walking around all morning, so I pop a few walnuts into my mouth, hoping the extra protein will give me a bit more energy. I'd been feeling tired the past few days for some reason, but I wasn't quite sure why. I'd even allowed myself to sleep in a bit that morning, but the extra hour's sleep didn't seem to help.
After a few minutes of regaining my strength, I stand and my lower abdomen instantly begins to cramp painfully. I'd been a more than a little crampy the past couple of days, and I knew it most likely meant I was on the verge of beginning my menstrual cycle. I don't get them as often as they say you're supposed to. I experience my period maybe three or four times a year, and it's always very uncomfortable for me. I suppose I would get them more often if I were more well fed, and the fact that the past two months had been plentiful for me is probably what brought it on in the first place.
I brace myself against the trunk of a nearby tree as the cramp intensifies, and I double over in pain as I emit a soft moan. I squeeze my eyes shut as I try to focus through the pain and instantly feel a large hand bracing my upper arm for support. The wave of pain finally ending, I open my eyes to meet Gale's uneasy gaze.
"I came to see if you needed help," he told me quietly. "What's wrong?"
"Stomach ache," I lie. I wasn't about to fill him in about my menstrual cramps or pelvic pain. I knew my mother had a tea at home she specifically brews for this particular ailment, and made a mental note to drink some as soon as I returned home.
"You looked like you were in a lot of pain," Gale says, still unconvinced.
"It passed." I walk away leaving him confused. I don't know what he's thinking right now. I just know that I'm tired, achy, and need some time to myself.
...
I lie back in the bed that I share with Prim as I listen to the sound of my mother bustling around the wood-burning stove as she cooks our dinner. The rabbit and chives I had gathered make a delicious-smelling stew and I can feel my stomach rumble at the very thought of digging into a giant, hot bowl along with a small slice of bread.
As famished as I'm feeling right now, my cramps haven't subsided. My mother seems to realize this as she starts to warm a kettle of water and seeps the herbs which she uses to ease menstrual pain. Despite our turbulent relationship, I smile gratefully and thank her for the medicine.
"I laid out some strips of cloth for you, too," she informs me, but I still frown at the thought of having to use them in a day or two. I suppose that in the Capitol they have some sort of fancy pill they can take that prevents them from getting their cycle altogether. Here, we have to use small scraps of linen that bunch up in your britches when you walk.
That night I lie in bed with Prim at my side and Buttercup curled around our feet. I notice that's Prim's eyes are open and wide and she's studying me curiously.
"Katniss," she finally whispers when we are both certain that our mother has already fallen asleep. "Are you okay? You've been acting different lately."
I bite down on the inside of my cheek because I've been trying desperately not to let this thing with Gale affect anyone else. I guess I had been pretty lost in thought the past few evenings at dinnertime, and Prim was always the first to notice when someone was feeling down. I'm sure that my uncertainty about Gale and I was probably also the cause of my fatigue and irritability lately as well. The truth is that my relationship with the one person I always knew I could trust has shifted, and I'm still kicking myself for having let it happen. I could have told him no. I could have backed out that day in the meadow when he asked me if I was certain that it was what I wanted. But at the time I was too far gone to tell him no.
"Just going through the motions," I assure her. I don't want her to waste her time worrying about me, especially when I had brought this all on myself. "Everything is fine, Prim."
"You act tired. And sick. And Mother said that-"
"Don't worry," I reassure her, moving her bangs from her forehead and placing a kiss there. "I'm just in a bit of a rut. Nothing that a few days and some more of Lady's delicious cheese won't cure," I promise her while giving her a little chore to keep her mind occupied at the same time. She smiles back at me as she snuggles into my arms. "Now go to sleep, little duck," I whisper as she slowly nods off.
The next few days are spent waiting for a period that never comes.