Hey guys, I'm back. I'm so so so so so so so sorry that I haven't gotten this out faster, but RL hasn't been good to me lately, and I've had to take care of a few things... I won't go into a long A/N, but suffice it to say, I'm going to try to start posting regularly again.

Nope, not SM here, if I was, I'd be in a better RL situation!

See you at the bottom!

Chapter 14: Visiting Hours Part 2

PRESENT

Dad wheeled me back outside Bella's room where my nurse stood, waiting to take over. Together, we headed back to my room and the whole time all I felt was pain, knowing Bella was in that room because of me. We got back to my room and I was placed back into bed. I was tired, physically and emotionally, but I didn't want to sleep, not after seeing Bella like that. I didn't deserve to get to see her beautiful, healthy, and happy in my dreams, when she was laying here hurt, in pain, and fighting to live. I could feel myself getting angrier and angrier. I wanted to hit something… more importantly, I was starting to finally hate the man who put us in here. He hurt my beautiful Bella. He broke her. He caused my Bella pain and I wanted to give him just as much pain.

I saw dad watching me, and it was pissing me off even more. He nodded to the nurse and she left the room. It was about time too because the moment that door closed, the anger burst out of me and I pushed the rolling table across the room, banging into the closet. There wasn't anything else in throwing distance so I just put my head back against the pillow and stared at my ceiling, not looking at my dad.

"I hate him, dad. I hate that guy so much for putting us in here. I hate that guy for almost killing my Bella."

He sighed and sat beside me. "Did you know your brother almost said the exact same thing?"

I turned to shake my head at him. He then proceeded to tell me about what happened in the hospital chapel. I felt so many things for my brother. Pride, pain, anguish, guilt, love. Love was the largest. He always took care of me as a kid and he was still trying to. It pained me to know how hurt he must have felt before seeing me, but it made me feel more hatred towards the man who did this.

"Dad, I get what you're trying to say, really I do. That doesn't mean I don't hate the man any less. I blame myself for not getting out of the way fast enough." He moved to speak, but I held up my hand. "Until I know Bella doesn't blame me, I'll keep feeling this way. Though I blame myself, it was the drunk driver's fault for putting us in here. How do I let that hatred go, knowing Bella could…" I sighed as I let the comment die out.

"Son, you are allowed your feelings. Your angry, and no one else can tell you how you are supposed to feel. That doesn't mean, however, that you should let the hatred fill you completely. You have a beautiful family that you need to be here for. You can't let the hatred and guilt build inside you until you can't take it anymore. It's not healthy, son."

I nodded but didn't say anything more. I understood what he was trying to tell me. Understanding didn't mean I didn't still feel the anger and guilt… Understanding didn't mean I was okay. I wouldn't be okay until Bella woke up.

My father and I briefly spoke about inconsequential things. What was going on outside the world of the hospital, how everyone was doing. It brought to mind that I needed to see Alyssa. I had to figure out what I would do about that sweet little girl.

"Dad, I need to see Alyssa, I just… I mean, how do I tell her this? Her mother's in a coma, she's not woken up yet. I don't even know if what I tell her will be alright. I don't want to say the wrong thing to Alyssa, and scare her out of her mind."

He nodded and sighed, running his hand through his hair. I got that little quirk from him. "Alyssa's been asking for you too. She knows her mother is injured and that we're keeping her asleep to heal. She knows you're awake and she begs every time I see her for me to allow her up here to see you. At first I couldn't have her here for obvious reasons, but I think it would benefit her to at least see you. I know she's starting to worry that we're lying to her about you two being… okay." He shrugged like it was a lack of a better term to use. 'Okay' wasn't exactly what I would use for Bella right now, but I was fine. She could see me.

"Dad, can you have someone bring her in to see me today, please."

He nodded and pulled his phone out. "Rose, hey it's me. Yes, everything's fine. Listen, can you bring Alyssa to the hospital to Edward's room. Yeah, we think it's time too. Alright, I'll let him know. Thanks Rose."

He hung up the phone and turned back to me. "Rose said she'll bring her in around three o'clock, and for … and I quote … for you to "get your sorry ass better, and do not hurt Alyssa, or I'll kick your sorry ass right back into the ER." He snickered and I laughed and groaned from the jolting of my ribs. Yep, Rose is definitely feeling better.

Dad left to check on some other patients and I was left alone with my thoughts.

How would I explain what was happening with Bella to Alyssa. She's so innocent and sweet and kind, how do I tell her, her mom could possibly never wake up. How do you tell a child that her mother is all banged up and hurt and can't wake up… might never wake up. Fuck, this was giving me a headache. I'd just have to lay it down easy on her. God, I hope she understood and didn't blame me. Please, God, don't let her blame me.

I watched the clock, contemplating what I would do. As the time ticked closer to three I found my heart starting to beat faster, aching to see the little girl. Had she changed in that last five months? Was she taller? Her hair longer? Shorter? Her face a little less rounded? Would she cry?

That one felt like a kick in the gut. I knew she'd cry. I knew that, with more certainty, than I knew my own name.

I heard movement outside my room and I knew it was them, I just knew. They stopped outside the doorway, and I could hear Rose talking quietly to Alyssa.

"Okay, Alyssa, remember what I told you?"

She must have nodded or something of the sort, but then I finally heard her sweet tinkling voice. "No running at him, jumping on him or hugging him tightly, because he's hurt real bad."

"That's right. Are you ready to go see Edward." She must have nodded again because the next thing I heard was a knock at the door.

I called for them to come in, and Rose slowly opened the door holding the little hand of my Alyssa. Alyssa was wearing a little pink dress and her hair was pulled back by one of those headband things. She was looking down at her feet as she walked into the room. When her other hand came into view, she was holding a stuffed penguin in her hand. I remembered it was the one I got her from the zoo. She called it Roscoe.

Alyssa finally looked up at me and tiny tears formed in her eyes. It broke my heart.

"Baby, no, don't cry. I'm okay." I could see her little body starting to shake from trying to hold in the sobs. I held my hand out to her, "C'mere." She looked up at Rose who nodded with tears in her eyes. She let go of Rose's hand hugged Roscoe closer to her little body, walking slowly over to me. She stood about a foot away from my bed so I beckoned her closer. She took two steps. I crooked my finger at her, giving her a crooked grin. She still had tears in her eyes as she moved closer to me. I was finally able to reach the sleeve of her dress and pulled her gently closer to me.

"Come give me a hug, sweet girl!" I pulled on the sleeve again but she shook her head quickly, making the tears fall down her little cheeks.

"I don't wanna hurt you," she sniffled as she laid her chin on the head of the penguin.

"You won't, I promise." I grabbed her hand and helped her climb onto the bed. Rose started to move closer but I shook my head at her. This was my Alyssa, and she needed to not be afraid of me. I wasn't made of glass, I wouldn't break. Rose backed up again and Alyssa leaned her head against my shoulder, her little face in the crook of my neck. I squeezed her tightly to me, inhaling the fragrant shampoo in her hair.

I could feel the tears making my neck wet and I shushed her, holding her tightly to me.

"I'm all right, Alyssa. Don't be scared." I ran my finger through her hair as I waited for her to calm down, letting her finish crying. After a few minutes, a hundred tears later, and a few hiccups now and again, she finally turned back to me. Her little eyes and nose were both tinged red and her face was all wet. I quickly wiped the tears off her cheeks before placing the arm back around her to keep her in place.

She quickly looked to the side towards Rose and I quietly asked Rose for a few private minutes. Rose nodded and walked out, making a cup motion with her hand to let me know she was going for a drink. I nodded and watched her leave. When Alyssa heard the door close she looked back up at me. She was playing with the tassels on the penguin's green and red striped scarf.

She whispered so quietly had she not been directly in front of me I wouldn't have heard it. "I was so scared."

"I know, baby. But you don't need to be, I'm right here and I'm fine." She looked around the room and looked back at me confusedly, "Where's mommy? How come she's not in the same room as you?"

I sighed and spoke to her softly. "She's in a different room than I am. I know you were told we were in an accident right?"

She nodded her head. "Yes. A man hit your car with his car."

I nodded, "That's right. Your mommy was put in a different room than me, because we had different doctors, and they told the nurses where to put us." It seemed logical enough for me, I hoped it helped her somewhat. She looked back at me and I could see the range of emotions cross her face; scared, worried, confusion… but the one that stuck out the most was one I couldn't place.

"What's wrong, baby?"

She looked down for a moment, my guess to collect her thought, before she looked back up at me. "Is mommy really okay? I wanna know."

Oh boy…

This is where I didn't know how to answer her… I ran my hand up and down her arm, trying to put together words to help her understand. "Baby, I need you to understand something, okay?" She nodded and I continued. "When the man hit us, your mommy's head got hurt. And the doctors… well they gave her some medicine to make her sleep so that it could heal better."

"But, she'll be okay though, right?" She was biting on her bottom lip, just like Bella does.

"We really hope so baby… until the doctors give her a different medicine to wake her up, we won't really know. We just have to pray baby girl, okay? I promise though, that I will be right here, and the doctors are helping her get better."

She nodded her head, but I wasn't sure if I did the right thing or not. She laid her head down on my shoulder and I wrapped my arm tightly around her. We sat like that for a while until I started to feel her nodding off to sleep. I gently kissed her forehead and moved further down the bed to get more comfortable. I started nodding off myself, but the feeling only lasted for a moment before I heard Alyssa whisper.

"I love you, daddy."

My eyes snapped back open and I looked down at Alyssa to see her staring back at me with droopy eyes. It felt like my heart stopped beating, just for a moment, before it started racing. I pressed my lips into her hair and hugged her tightly to me as she laid back down. I could feel the tears stinging in my eyes as I whispered back to her.

"I love you too, Alyssa."

Aweee, yep, i needed that. Did anyone else?

So, don't forget to review for me, my lovelies! Can I ask for many reviews since the 13th was my birthday? You know, i had every intention of having this finished by then, but well... it just didn't pan out that way...

So yea, you want to give me a belated birthday present? REVIEW! Cuz that's all I'd ever want!

Love to you all!

See you next time!