Hey everyone, guess who's back? I still have a cough and wheezing thing going on, but otherwise I am back to fic the fans (that sounds so wrong doesn't it?)
This chapter took me some time to figure out... I kept going back and forth on it, because I had two possible chaps that could've been written. Either chapter would have changed the outcome to the story... Because we're pretty much at the climax. See, someone asked me towards the beginning of the story whether this would be an HEA, and I didn't realize it until now that I had two possible endings to this. One of them is the HEA... the other... well, not so much... so now that it is finally written, I'm letting it run it's course the way it has chosen. I hope you enjoy.
Once again, I don't own this cheez, SM's the whiz!
See you at the bottom!
Chapter 17: Wondering, Waiting, and Praying
My eyes flit open to the sight of the ceiling above me. I sighed and closed my eyes, resigned to the knowledge that I was… awake? Back in the present? At this point I just didn't care, I just knew I was back to being in the fucking hospital.
I glanced down knowing Alyssa was still in my arms. Her body was curled beside mine, her little cheek pressed to my chest, and her hand laying right on my heart. I leaned over and breathing in her shampoo scented hair, happy that she was still here with me. Looking around the room Rosalie was sitting in a chair that she'd moved to the corner of the room beside the window. She was too deeply immersed in some magazine, a classic car magazine no doubt, to realize I'd woken up. I took a moment to really look at her.
I'm not going to say I stare at my sister-in-law on a regular basis, but after knowing her for the amount of time I've known her, I have NEVER seen her wearing a baggy tee-shirt, and jeans. I glanced down at her feet and about fell over when I saw the sneakers. Rosalie doesn't do sneakers. Even when she's working on her beloved cars she's still wearing some type of heel. Maybe not stilettos, but a thicker heel… what does she call them… Wedgies? Wedges? Why the fuck am I even trying to figure it out. She just doesn't wear sneakers. Period.
Her hair was pulled back from her face, and her eyes, while slightly dark circles surrounded them, they looked almost… content? Her whole body language gave off the content vibe and I started to wonder where the Ice Queen went to.
"Rosalie." She glanced over at me at my whisper and smiled… wait… smiled? Yes, she was actually smiling at me. Not in one of those previous smiles I've gotten from her, where the Steven King music would be playing in the background, but an actual honest to goodness smile. She stood from the chair, quietly moving it back over towards the bed closest to Alyssa.
"It's good to see you awake, Edward." She whispered so as not to wake Alyssa.
"How long have we been asleep?"
"About two hours." She looked down adoringly at Alyssa. "She needed the rest."
I nodded and leaned forward to kiss the top of Alyssa's head. She sighed and snuggled further into my side before falling back into a deep sleep. I smiled down at my little girl. I looked up and noticed Rosalie looking at her too. She had that content look still on her face and I realized it was because of the little girl in my arms, that Rosalie looked so peaceful.
"How have you been doing Rose?"
She looked up at me and leaned forward to run her finger along Alyssa's cheek. "I've been doing better. Not so many nightmares. Though I think she's been helping a lot." She nodded her head towards my little princess and I nodded in agreement.
From what I remembered, due to Rosalie's car accident, the doctors were unsure if she'd ever be able to get pregnant due to a lot of scar tissue. Emmett confided this to me one night during a drinking binge he'd had. Him and Rose had fought, like so many other nights, and she'd kicked him out of the house. He had shown up at my door completely wasted off his ass with an almost empty bottle of whiskey in his hand and tears in his eyes because he didn't know how to get his "Rosie" back. He slept the alcohol out of his system that night and swore me to secrecy. I assumed she took him back because he hadn't shown up on my doorstep the next night and I hadn't spoken of it to anyone.
We sat there in silence for who knows how long before I got up the urge to speak.
"Rose, I want to say I'm sorry." She looked up, her expression one of shock, but didn't speak.
"You and I have gotten into a lot of fights over few years we've known each other and I never took the chance to really get to know you. You always just seemed so cold towards me like…"
"Like an Ice Queen." She spoke softly.
"Well… yeah."
She nodded and looked up at me. "Edward, I know I've been quite the bitch towards you. Fact is, I should be apologizing to you. I've had a lot of bad moments in my life and they've made me… well, rather bitter towards everyone and every thing. There's a lot no one knows about me, except your brother, and those things made me very hateful towards anyone who crossed my path." She laughed and sniffled at the same time, running her finger under her eye. "Did your brother ever tell you how we met?"
I shook my head. "Only that you met in college."
She nodded and laughed quietly. "I had just broken up with my ex a few months prior…" I nodded when she quickly glanced at me letting her know that she didn't have to repeat about her ex. She sighed in relief and continued her story.
"We met in our mechanic's class. I was the only female and every man in the room would hoot and holler every time I had to bend my ass over to get something, or work on the engine we were assigned to. At first your brother came on to me, just like all the idiot gorillas in class. I took a wrench and wailed it at him. He ducked of course, but I guess he got the "hint" and didn't ask me out again until later in the semester. We ended up having to partner for our semester project and he turned out to be a really good friend at the time.
Later on that semester one of our classmates decided he would try to grab my ass while I was bent over the hood of one of the cars we were working on and Emmett, the big guy he is, grabbed the guy by the back of the shirt and the seat of his pants and hauled his ass right out the door. He told the guy 'don't even think about coming back until you learn how to be a gentleman and not an ape!' He then slammed the door shut and climbed on top of our desk. He told the rest of the class that if they couldn't learn to respect a woman, let alone a fellow classmate, then he'd proceed to do the same to each and every one of them." She sighed and I thought I heard her whisper "my monkey man," but I wasn't too certain.
"Anyway, I ended up so surprised that I didn't know whether to slap him on the back of the head, and tell him I could handle myself, or run out of the room, embarrassed."
"So what did you do?"
She smiled brightly and leaned back in the chair. "I walked right up to him and grabbed him by the front of his coveralls and planted a giant kiss right on his lips… then I smacked him upside the head and told him I could handle myself."
I laughed quietly because it was definitely an Emmett and Rosalie moment.
"After that he grabbed my hand and kissed the back of it. He said while I may be able to handle myself, I was his Rosie, and he wasn't about to let some ass-hat to touch me." She sighed wistfully and I smiled. I could see the love she had on her face for my brother.
"Your brother was the first person I'd ever actually let in, emotionally. Before I met him, all the guys I'd ever met were only after one thing. And Roy… well… anyway, it wasn't until this happened that I realized what an idiot I was being to our family. I was letting all my hatred taint the one good thing I'd ever found in my life and if I didn't do something to change it, I'd end up pushing Emmett away in the end."
"Rose, I really don't think you could ever push him away. He loves you."
She smiled and I moved the hand holding Alyssa out a little, so Rose could understand what I was asking. She reached closer towards the bed and took my hand.
"I'm so sorry, Edward."
"It's okay Rose. I'm sorry too, I never gave you the chance you deserved and I promise that ends now."
I squeezed her hand and we let go. I moved my hand back to hold onto Alyssa.
"She's really something, isn't she?" I asked Rose.
She nodded, "I only hope I'll be like that with my and Emmett's child."
My head shot up and I looked at her. "Rose?"
She shook her head and a tear fell down her face. "No… but a certain somebody gave me some good advice recently and I think I'm ready to take it."
I cocked my head to the side but she didn't say more. I let it go and we sat together listening to the soft snores of my little girl.
A short while later after Alyssa had awoken, meals had been eaten, nurses finished bugging me, I was sitting in a wheelchair with Alyssa on my lap being led down the hall to Bella's room. I didn't know if this was the right thing to do. My father, who was pushing us down the hall, had spoken briefly to Alyssa letting her know that, while it may look a little scary, we would be right there with her and that her mother was only sleeping. She seemed to understand and we were permitted to go see Bella.
Bella's door opened and the curtain was drawn back for us to see her. It still hit me like a ton of bricks when I saw the tubes everywhere on her body. I sat quietly as Alyssa stared at her mother in the bed. I didn't know what was going on inside her little mind, but after a moment or two, she simply climbed off my lap and walked slowly towards the bed. She reached out for the hand laying above the blankets and quickly kissed her hand.
"Wake up soon, mommy, daddy wants to marry us, but he says you gotta say yes before he can put the ring on you. It's real pretty mommy, I helped pick it out." She sounded so proud that she helped me pick it out for her mommy. I could feel the tears trying to force their way out as I watched this beautiful little girl speak to her mother… a mother who couldn't answer her back. I clenched my eyes together, hoping to stave off the tears that were trying to leak out. I felt my father place his hand on my shoulder and I grabbed it with my good arm, holding his hand tightly against me. It grounded me, giving me the chance to calm myself before Alyssa turned around.
When she did, I knew she saw that I had been crying. She crawled into my lap on the chair and I pulled her tightly to me.
"Why are you crying daddy? Are you sad?"
I felt the tears leaking out past my eyes as she asked me this.
"Yes, baby. Da…Daddy's sad right now. Daddy's missing mommy a whole bunch right now." I squeezed her tightly to me.
"I miss her too, daddy." She whispered so quietly, I almost didn't hear her. But I did. And it made the sobs escape my chest. We held each other for a few minutes, both of us crying, before I asked Carlisle to take Alyssa to see Rosalie.
After Carlisle left I moved the chair closer to Bella, putting my larger hand on her delicate one.
"Well baby, you heard our little girl. She wants you to wake up so I can propose. Will you do that for me baby? Can you open your eyes right now? I miss those beautiful big brown eyes, Bella. I want to see them so bad."
I pressed small kisses against her fingertips as I watched her face for anything. A muscle twitch, her eyes shifting behind her lids, ANYTHING to just see that she hears me.
"Can you try to squeeze my hand, Bella? Can you hear me? Squeeze my hand. Show me you're there."
I waited.
.
.
.
.
Nothing. I sighed and kissed her fingers again. "It's alright baby. I'm not mad. Just keep trying to get back to us. Please, baby? I miss you so much."
I felt a hand on my shoulder, and looked back to see my father standing there. I never even heard him open the door. I nodded my head and he patted my shoulder twice before moving over towards Bella's chart. I sat there trying to memorize every tiny thing about her.
The color of her hair.
The porcelain shade of her skin.
"Edward…"
The graceful shape of her neck.
Her soft, smooth skin.
"Edward…"
The color of her lips, though open right now because of the tubes.
"EDWARD!"
I turned to look at my father. His eyes were trying to penetrate into me and he had come to kneel directly beside me, to yell in my ear.
"What, Dad?"
"Edward, they've…"
I was worrying now.
"They who? What are you talking about, Dad?"
My father took a deep breath. "Edward, her doctors... they've started to wean Bella off the medicines to keep her asleep. They're going to try to get her to wake soon.
I stared at my father for what felt like hours. Bella… medicine… weaning… awake. Those were the words that kept running through my mind over and over again as I just continued to stare at him.
"Edward, do you understand what I'm trying to tell you? Bella could wake within the next forty-eight hours."
Honestly? I couldn't wrap my head around it. I turned to stare back at the woman I love most in this world. Bella could be waking soon. I'd be able to see those beautiful big brown eyes. She'd be able to hear me, to touch me. I would be able to…
"Dad. What if she doesn't wake up?"
I could tell he stopped breathing. The doctor in him would be able to run off a list of different things for any other patient, but this wasn't any other patient. This was Bella, the love of my life. The woman who made me whole, and therefore completed our family like no one else could.
He couldn't give me the answers I wanted. He couldn't tell me she would… that she wouldn't…
He let the breath out, shaking slowly, as if he was trying to remain calm and stoic, like any other doctor. But he wasn't just any other doctor. This is my father. The man I idolize on so many levels.
"Dad…?"
I turn to look at him and his eyes are shadowed by unshed tears. He knows that I'm not looking to him as a doctor right now. I'm looking to him as a father.
"I don't know, son. I don't know."
I started to nod my head but I could feel the dam slowly bursting. The ache inside my chest grew more and more and as if the dam finally broke, I sobbed like the completely broken man that I was. My father held me as tightly as he could, as we both sat there.
Wondering…
Waiting…
Praying, that God would answer our prayers and bring the girl I love back to us.
Alright, well there's the chapter. I hope you all enjoyed it. I should be back soon... just keep a look out.
I wanted to thank Jaymili for the amazing reviews she gave me. I really hope to see more reviews soon. I miss seeing my inbox light up!
Review please, the more I get, the faster I'll post the next chapter.
See you next time!