Dean looked at Thea, his heart heavy.
She was sitting on the bed watching TV and eating a slice of pizza. She had calmed down a couple hours ago, but her eyes were still slightly puffy from it all. He had let her cry on his shoulder for a long while before she was able to regain herself.
She kept apologizing, but Dean didn't think she really had anything to be sorry for. She had been through a lot and sometimes people just have to cry. Even him.
He knew that she was embarrassed for her conflicting emotions. She felt like one of those vapid women from those douchey soap operas, but he understood. He felt the same way. He didn't really understand how one day could feel like a thousand, but this one certainly had. Over the course of the day, he had wanted to weep for her, run from her, run back to her, punch her, kiss her, never touch her again and make love to her until she saw starts.
He growled low in his throat. Make love? What kind of pansy idiot was he turning into? He sorta sounded like Sam back in the early days.
His thoughts turned back to Sam and he got more concerned. He was truly scared as to how his little brother was reacting to all of this. He had disappeared when Thea was crying and he hadn't seen him since. It was hours later and all he had from him was a text that he had gotten a room at a motel on the opposite side of town.
Sam was a constant cause of worry to Dean, but at this point, he was so used to it that sometimes he didn't really realize that he was worrying until someone pointed it out to him. Ever since the whole demon blood and Ruby incident, Dean had never really completely trusted his brother after that, no matter what happened. He had forgiven him, sure, but never really trusted him.
Dean was still trying to figure out what to do about North Dakota. He had looked up the address and it was an old library in an almost forgotten town and nothing had shown up for a Cassia Mappes. If that wasn't fishy, he didn't know what was.
Yet, when he looked at Thea, all he wanted to do was make her happy. He knew that every bone in her body was screaming to go to North Dakota, to find a clue that could rid her of the curse that she bore, but she was trying so hard to ignore it. All for Dean's sake. After everything that he had done to her, she was still trusting him to do right by her. He admired her for that.
He went over and sat down next to her, grabbing a slice for himself. He felt her tense slightly and then relax again. They sat there for a little while, eating in silence while watching an old Clint Eastwood movie. He tried to focus on the movie, but he couldn't. Thea was sitting next to him, mouthing the words silently and he found it extremely distracting. And honestly, really sexy. How often does a beautiful girl know the lines by heart to a guy's favorite movie?
As if it was acting of its own accord, Dean's hand went to her hair, touching it ever so gently. She stiffened but said nothing. He continued to feel how soft her hair was, rubbing the silken strands between his finger tips. She had stopped mouthing the words, but her eyes were glued to the screen and she was holding her breath.
He leaned forward to inhale her shampoo, burying his face in her wealth of dark hair. He heard her gasp quietly and he froze, not wanting to upset her. When she didn't move away from him, he moved his head from her hair to the crook of her neck. His nose grazed her skin there, her soft warm skin.
As Dean moved closer to her, he felt her trembling. He lifted his head, looking down into her beautiful wide eyes. He moved his hand, very slowly, to her cheek, caressing the soft blushing skin.
"I'm so sorry, Thea," he whispered to her. "What I did to you can never be forgiven, I know that. But someday, if you let me, I want to show you…" he hesitated, trying to find his words. "I want to show you how it's really supposed to be, how it should never be about fear or hatred."
Her eyes shined at the tenderness in his green eyes. He wiped away a lone sparkling tear that drifted from her eye and he watched as her long lashed drifted down. She turned her face into his palm, seeking the comfort that it gave her. She opened her eyes when she felt his warm breath on her lips.
Her eyes opened and found his. His other hand came up, holding her face gently, telling her that she could pull away at any time. "May I kiss you, Thea?" His thumb drifted her full bottom lip. "I promise you I won't do anything else. I just want to give you a kiss."
Her eyes darted from his nervously, and as a nervous reaction, the tip of her tongue darted out to wet her lips. Dean stifled a groan, refusing to lose his control and lose her with it.
He waited until she looked at him again. She nodded her consent, and his lips came down on hers gently.
It was the softest kiss he had ever given a woman and for that he felt ashamed. He marveled however, about how soft her lips were. She tried to mirror his movements and he smiled slightly into the kiss.
He pulled back after a moment. He looked down at her, here eyes still closed and her lips still slightly puckered. She opened her eyes and looked at him questioningly.
"I don't want to lose control," he explained. "I won't do that to you again."
She was quiet for a second. Without warning, she put her hand behind his head and pulled him back to her. Their mouths crashed together, passion spilling from them that had been building.
Even as his tongue ran over her lip, asking for an entrance that she granted, Dean held back. He wanted her to come to him as much as she felt comfortable. He had to admit though, that was way harder to do as he tasted her, her tongue dancing with his.
She pulled back this time. She was breathless and looked shocked. He couldn't help but smirk at her a little. "You okay?"
She blushed prettily. "Yeah, it was just um, it was a pretty intense first kiss."
She laughed at his expression. "Yes, Dean, that was my first real kiss."
"Damn," he mumbled. "I just can't imagine that. I mean, you're how old?"
She punched his arm jokingly. "Shut up, Dean."
He smiled at her and leaned back on the bed. "Time to go to sleep. Long day ahead of us tomorrow."
She nodded and laid back next to him. "You're right."
"Always." He said cheekily.
"Smartass." She mumbled.
She curled up next to him and he put his arm around her, falling into a deep sleep.
When I woke up in the morning, the first thing I felt was warm. There was warmth all around me, like a cocoon and it took me a moment to realize why. There was a large, strong forearm slung across my waist that had pulled me tight to a hard body behind me. It took even less time to realize it was Dean behind me.
I couldn't help but smile a little and nestle even tighter into him. I finally understood why so many people hate not having this to wake up to. It's probably one of the best feelings I've ever had.
I blushed as I remembered our kiss from the night before. It had been sweet and gentle and then…passionate and almost wild. I had always heard it could be like that, but since I had never experienced it, well, I always thought people were overexaggerating.
Dean held me tighter and I snuggled into his chest. I was about to fall asleep when I felt it.
I felt my face go crimson and froze. Well this is mildly awkward as shit.
It got even more embarrassing as I realized that neither of us had our jeans on anymore. We must've kicked them off during the night. I was bad about that and apparently so was Dean. Either way, his morning wood was a little closer to me at the moment than I really wanted it to be.
I wriggled myself out of his grasp, somewhat regrettably, climbed out of the bed and put a new pair of jeans on. I noted that I needed to do laundry at some point in the very near future or else the Winchesters would be putting up with a girl who could smell real bad.
I gathered up both mine, Dean and Sam's laundry and put them into a bag. I took it out to the Impala and threw it into the backseat, not really paying much attention. You can imagine my surprise when the backseat yelped back at me.
"Jeez, what the hell?" grumbled Sam, rubbing his eye where the bag had hit him.
"Sam?" I was baffled. "What are you doing in the back seat? You told Dean you got a room!"
He pinned me with a brooding look. "Well I lied."
That made no sense to me. "But why?"
"It isn't like I had a place in there." He replied. "Besides, I wanted to be alone anyway."
I didn't like his tone. "Who shit in your cereal this morning?"
He sneered at me. "Oh, sorry I'm not in the best of moods. I just slept in the backseat of a car."
"Not my fault. You're the one who lied and said you had somewhere to stay. You'd could've stayed in the same room."
Sam narrowed his eyes at me. "I'm not really in the mood to be lectured or mocked today, so if you could just hold off-"
"If you aren't in the mood to be lectured or mocked, then don't set yourself up for it, jackass."
I went to turn away, but quick as lightning, his arm shot out and grabbed me, turning me back towards him.
He brought his face inches from mine and I was rooted to the spot, a deer in headlights. What was wrong with him?
"Don't speak to me that way," he hissed at me. "I am so fucking tired of being lectured like a child from everyone in my life, and I don't need you of all people to do it too."
I just stared at him. Something just seemed…off about him. "Sam, are you alright?"
He let me go. "Fine." He inhaled deeply through his nose. "Just tired of being mistreated and forgotten."
I nodded but said nothing. What does a person say to that?
We stood there awkwardly before I decided to go back inside, leaving Sam in my wake.
I tried to reason with myself, knowing that the anger I felt towards Sam was, in fact, completely unfair. Dean had done the exact same thing to me, and yet I was cozying up just fine with him, but Sam? I was being completely awful to him. Perhaps this was what the curse would've been like.
And then it hit me. Maybe this was a plan all along.
I'm on my way to falling for one and hating the other. But I didn't feel like I hated Sam really. I hated Aphrodite, but definitely not Sam. I was just angry with Sam. I hoped that at some point I could let go of that anger.
I kept wondering about the curse as I walked back into the room. Dean was still asleep, clutching the pillow and snoring. I couldn't help but smile a little. The pull that I felt towards him was getting stronger by the hour, but I didn't want it to. I knew that at some point we would feel consumed by each other and maybe that was a side effect. I had hoped that maybe Dean could be a loophole, but maybe this was a plan all along.
I also couldn't even imagine actually sleeping with him consensually. Yes, we shared a passionate kiss but even then I was terrified at the thought of him on top of me, stifling me. Being in complete control over me.
I was hit with the shame of it all once again. Being completely naked and having them look over me, kissing me and touching me. Not being able to do a damn thing about it. Begging for mercy and not getting any.
I dashed the thoughts away. It was in the past now and I couldn't take it back. I decided that the only thing I could do now was press forward and kill Aphrodite.
I took a deep breath, walked over to the table and sat down. As I pulled up my computer and opened up a couple books and atlases, my mind was in no other place except North Dakota.