Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Seed, the characters, plot, setting, yadda yadda, etc. etc. (I don't even own the manga for crying out loud)
OH! And possible yaoi warning. Also, implied shounen-ai and yaoi! (Nothing overt, but the innuendos are there and they might progress, depends on my mood)
Still with Athrun and co. This will probably be the last chapter with them for now; we'll revisit the ZAFT team when the Justice and Freedom are done and ready to launch. That is when it will be explained what's happening between Athrun's team and Operation Spitbreak.
Ummm...not much to say.
Sorry it's so bad; I just couldn't get into it. Angst was not my thing for a while.
Hope you enjoy.
Oh! And registered reviewers get a special preview summary for the next chapter!
Italics means thoughts
Bold means….other stuff.
Last time:
Kira…killed Nicol.
Nicol…
Is Kira to blame for all of this?
The empty corridors held no answer.
Nicol's New Fate
Chapter 6: Interlude 2- Confusion
-----------------------
"Dearka, I swear, you make that crack one more time, I'll KILL you."
"If you do, you'll prove my homicidal maniac theory."
"Shut UP, moron!"
Athrun ignored his teammates, whoever had put them in adjacent seats could deal with the bickering. Normally, Athrun would tune them out and review his plans for the next battle or Aegis upgrade while Nicol separated them or came up with a different discussion topic. But Nicol was…
Gone. He's gone; no more wide smile, pep talks, or good-humored banter. Kira killed him. And, like Yzak said, as a ZAFT pilot and friend, Nicol deserves retribution.
------------------
FLASHBACK
"Geez, he sure had a lot of stuff for a little guy. What's all this paper?"
"His…compositions." Athrun spoke haltingly, his first voluntary endeavor since the battle. "Nicol always…always loved music, especially what he wrote himself. He was going to play it at a recital next week…" Pain deepened the shroud in emerald eyes. The three of them had been ordered to clean out Nicol's living compartment and locker and prepare his personal affects to be moved. Athrun was having a hard time coping.
"He'd always…"
"That's ENOUGH."
"Huh?"
Yzak stood, ice blue eyes glaring without a hint of remorse at his superior officer. "Are you just going to mope around about what happened and cry? Nicol knew what he was getting into, war is not a game."
"But…"
"NO. He died; end of story. The only person to blame is the pilot of that MS, the Strike. I have long since vowed to end that monster's existence, but this is the worst offense so far. Nicol deserves to be mourned, but he deserves revenge even more. Are you going to sit there like an IDIOT, or give Nicol what he deserved, as a friend and loyal comrade?"
"I-." Athrun didn't know what to say to that. Kira…no, Nicol…no…
"Well, are you truly the coward you pretend to be?"
The insult stung. No, he was not a coward. Nicol did deserve vengeance. Kira was the enemy, not the friend. Slowly, his hand tightened around the music sheets, symbolizing his resolve. "No, and you will never get the chance to destroy Strike's pilot."
"Oh?" For a moment, Yzak's eyes softened with strange emotions "Wait, WHAT? WHY?"
"Because I'm going to do it myself. I vow to avenge Nicol's death, as a friend and comrade."
------------------
Now they were about a minute from the PLANTS, having boarded a new transport, space based this time, many hours ago, and Athrun still held the music sheets tightly, as a reminder of his vow.
The past no longer matters. The Kira I knew ceased to exist when he entered this war. It is the Strike pilot, not my childhood friend, who will die for what was done.
La Creuset observed his pawn with satisfaction over the video monitor, the plan might have been modified but, thanks to the direction of Athrun's emotional rebound, it would not be scrapped.
Excellent. He's reacting just as he should. Amarfi's death was unfortunate, but will not make a difference in the long run. Now I must inform Athrun of Mr. Zala's request for an audience as well as the message from his fiancée. A brief shadow loomed over his satisfaction. But Ms. Cline must be handled delicately; if she influences him too much in the wrong direction, the boy might reconsider his loyalties towards ZAFT in favor of his friends. An occurrence that must not be allowed to take place.
With only a vague frown to denote his intentions, La Creuset ceased his observation and left to call Patrick Zala. Something had to be done about Ms. Cline to force silence; be it by choice, black mail, or… termination.
---------------
"Mr. Zala?"
"Yes?" Patiently, Athrun turned to the low level grunt, a lackey of the blonde officer. "Do you have a message from Commander La Creuset?"
"Yessir." The stiff-backed salute nearly brought a sad smirk to Athrun's face. The older man (for he did look to be at least 20, several years older then the entire La Creuset team) obviously didn't know of his dishonorable defeat at Kira's…no, the STRIKE's…hands. "At ease and deliver your message, soldier."
Assuming the 'at ease' position (which really didn't look too comfortable) with legs spread shoulder length, back straight, and arms at sides, (1) he began to rattle off the words by memory.
"Commander La Creuset wants to communicate his deepest sympathy and understanding for your current situation and wishes to make it known that Chairman (2) Zala requests an audience at 0900 tomorrow morning. And Ms. Cline has a message for you."
Waiting for the grunt to continue, Athrun became annoyed and prompted. "Well? What was her message?"
"That is not included in Commander La Creuset's message."
"Wait; let me get this straight, he told you to tell me he got a message for me? But didn't give you the message?"
"Correct sir."
With an eye roll, this was definitely his CO's style, Athrun dismissed the other and continued on his way home. It was good to be back; simulated birdsong floating through the air, artificially grown grass and trees providing oxygen…and an apartment awaiting his return. Small and bare, he usually avoided it; however, it was a place to rest and sleep and now that a decision had been made about revenge, he'd hopefully be able to rest easy without the tortured nightmares that had plagued him, both waking and sleeping, since the Blitz was destroyed.
----------------------
"Athrun!"
"Nicol!"
The young piano player appeared on Aegis' screen.
The Strike turned, raising its lance…
"ATH…AHHHHHHH-!"
"NO, NIC- what?"
It was no longer Nicol at eh screen, it was Kira; blood, dead.
Suddenly, the battlefield changed; rubble becoming houses as bodies replaced boulders and water.
"What happened?"
"Athrun, how could you?"
"K-Kira?"
He was there, still dead, but without a MS. His body floated in space as sightless, dull eyes, once vibrant and happy, seared Athrun's soul.
"How could you?" and suddenly, he wasn't there. Just…gone. The aching loneliness that accompanied brought a scream from the ZAFT pilot's throat.
"KIRA, NO! I'm sorry! Come back, PLEASE don't die! Whatever I did, I'm sorry!
"too late…" the voice faded out.
"NOOO!"
-crunch-
"H-huh?" Something hit the Aegis, jarring its pilot.
"A sign? What is…" his eyes shot wide as light touched the single word, written in blood.
HELIOPOLIS
The neutral colony, Kira's home.
"M-my fault? No, It can't be…"
A blink and the sign changed, became shrouded in shadow; no longer did it stand for the destroyed civilian colony.
Or did it?
The same pale light touched it, turning Athrun's blood to ice.
It was for Junius 7
-----------------------------
"NO!"
-WHAM!-
"Ow…" Athrun lay in a cold sweat, having jerked awake. Dream…it was just a dream… Still trembling and rubbing his hands nervously, he stumbling out of bed, intending to go into the bathroom. The bump he'd gotten from ramming into his bedside table upon awakening hurt. Unfortunately, he only got as far as the foot of the bed.
I can't go back to sleep after that. Oh God, is that what I've become, a murderer? Is that how Kira sees me? Is all of this really my fault?
I helped destroy Heliopolis, yes, but most of the citizens escaped, didn't they? But if they all got off, why was Kira left behind? The professors at the military academy always said that ethics don't matter in war, but ethics are what started this one! But we're not still fighting for Junius 7, are we? Why ARE we fighting? I mean, I know Kira fights to directly protect the ones he cares about, but what about us? For revenge? But…the past isn't supposed to matter! If it mattered, so would Kira!
With a groan, the young coordinator buried his head in his hands. Since when was war so complicated?
Of course, he thought dryly, since Kira showed up. That's when I started questioning my orders instead of blindly following. But now…I thought…damn. I don't know what to think.
In any case, I suppose I'd better prepare for my audience with Father.
"SO, what do you have to say for yourself?"
"…Sir?" Athrun stood at attention in front of the man his mother had loved, emotionless mask in place.
"One of YOUR men was KILLED in battle! That is what I'm talking about, Zala! Do you have any idea how this will look on my records? And you haven't even gone to see the family! What have you been doing for seven hours?"
Athrun did not answer.
"WELL?"
"Sleeping, sir."
"Sleeping? You couldn't put that off until after you at least pretended to contact the Amarfis?"
"I figured they would be asleep, sir. The transport arrived at 0200." A strange, painful feeling was growing in Athrun's chest. How could his father act this way? Especially towards his own son? And what had cracked the mask Athrun used to hide behind, where he didn't care how he was treated?
"I see. Understandable, I suppose. Very well, I can have my public relations employees iron out my record, but don't expect this kind of leniency again."
No answer.
"I would like our personal report on what happened."
Athrun told him, repeating exactly the words he had given to Commander La Creuset back on Earth. At the end, of his debriefing, the elder Zala sat behind the ornate wooden desk, fingers steepled as narrowed grey (3) eyes regarded the boy harshly.
"So, Kira Yamato."
He stood with a deep sigh, momentarily loosing his impenetrable, Stalinistic quality. (4) For just a second, Ahtrun could see the man he'd once called Dad.
"Athrun, you knew this day would come."
His own mask dropped slightly to reveal sadness.
"Yessir."
"The Yamato boy has betrayed his people, a pity, yes, but understandable. After all, his parents were naturals." He spat the word like a curse, walking around the desk to face his son. "Hopefully, they were killed in the Heliopolis explosion along with the rest of their kind."
Athrun went rigid. W-what? NO, he's not supposed to say that…
"All naturals deserve to die, Athrun, don't forget that. The coordinator boy you once knew was already tainted back at the lunar colony; that's why I separated the two of you. And over the years, he's become more and more one of them. This is the final straw, his last break."
Athrun heard the words as if through a haze. He was trying to be inspiring, but all the evidence was condemning. All naturals deserve to die? 'That's why I separated the two of you'? HE was the one to pull them apart? INTENTIONALLY? The pain and sadness were being replaced with anger and confusion.
NO, impossible. Kira's parents and Cagalli are the only naturals I've ever known but they were just and did not deserve to die just because of their genetics. They were…are… as human as any coordinator.
"Do you understand now, Athrun? Why you must kill him?"
Athrun didn't answer right away. He couldn't; he had no idea what to say.
"Well, do you understand?" The mounting impatience demanded a response, so the young soldier gave what was expected of him mechanically, with no thought or heart. A very dangerous thing to do.
"Yes Father."
Instant silence.
"WHAT did you just call me?"
"I'm sorry sir. It won't happen again."
"It had better not, boy! Familial connections make a person weak! I cannot have a son while I serve as chairman just as you cannot have a father while serving in the military. Dismissed."
Turning to leave, Athrun stopped, hand clenching over the door knob indecisively. I need to ask; if I don't, I won't get any answers. And I'll never have another chance.
"Sir, may I ask a question before I go?"
Curiously, Patrick Zala sat back behind his desk to observe.
"I suppose so."
"If-if…ummm…" A raised eyebrow. Apparently this question had quite a bit of inner turmoil and pain behind it. It had to, to overcome the mask the young man hid behind. Occasionally, Patrick missed seeing his son's expressions and feeling his love, but they were a necessary sacrifice for the greater goal.
"If … like you say…family is weak and the past should be forgotten…"
"Yes?"
"Does…does that mean…I shouldn't remember…Mother?"
"NO! That is a different situation entirely!" How dare he say that? Does he think he can get away with twisting my words and comparing my beloved Lenore to NATURALS?
"GET OUT! If you can even say that, you don't know anything! Not about me and not about my wife! You're just a soldier, an expendable grunt! Now GO!"
The young coordinator went.
Furiously, the chairman returned to work analyzing the schematics of the almost completed ZGMF-X10A Freedom and ZGMF-X09A Justice Gundams as well as plans for the upgrades of Duel and Buster.
Athrun needed more training, for sure. He was still questioning orders and judging the situation, not accepting his orders blindly and leaving Nicol in the past. Hopefully, the death of Kira Yamato would change that.
Said boy stood shaking in the hallway. A soldier? JUST a soldier? That was all he meant to his father?
Goddamit. Fighting back tears, he left, walking swiftly away from the office. How could Father do that to me? I-I mean, I don't know what I mean. I gave up everything for him! I left Kira because I trusted him, joined the military, and fought for HIS reasons! And he did it on purpose, made me hurt so much? Everything makes even less sense now. No matter what happens, I just…
"Hey, you Zala?"
Huh? Jerking his head up, Athrun me the eyes of the officer standing before him. Graying brown hair, chiseled body, black eye patch and several scars were offset by a rakish grin and cheerful twinkle in his visible eye. He looked like a veteran, but without the militaristic, hardened feeling most projected.
"Kid? Are you Zala?"
"I-Yeah. I mean," with a slight blush (he never been caught with his 'mask' down before), the young man pulled himself together and cleared his throat. "I am Athrun Zala."
"Good! Great to meet you Kid, I'm Andrew Waltfeld."
"Er.."
"Desert Tiger? Ya heard of me?"
"I know who you are, but I thought…"
"Dead? Nah, just transferred, ordered out of Banadiya and off the Lesseps to come up here. Now, "He set off down a side passage, obviously expecting the younger man to follow. He did.
"I'd like to discuss something with you. Commander La Creuset told me to brief you on the Justice and Freedom Gundams."
"Justice and Freedom?" Odd, I've never heard those designations before, and I memorized the full list of Gundam types at the academy; knowing them let me know their specialties and weaknesses so I could fight with full potential. Unless these Gundams are new…"
"Yep! Just been completed!"
Ah.
"I've been instructed to disclose all information concerning the new weapons, as well as statistics on the new ship, to you."
"New ship?"
"The Eternal. It was created to carry the new gundams."
"Commander La Creuset told you to tell me this? Why?"
"Apparently, you and your…charming…companions (5) will be accompanying my crew and I on the virgin flight to Earth in two days time. We're going after the Strike."
TBC.
REVIEW!
(1) I don't know the real 'at ease' position; this just seems to be the criteria from what I've seen in movies and on the internet.
(2) I'm fairly sure this is Athrun's father's position at this point in time. At least, that's what the official site says.
(3) Anyone know what color his eyes really are? I'm pretty sure Athrun inherited from his mom, and I haven't been able to find documentation anywhere, so I just chose a color I thought fit.
(4) Stalin: former Russian communist dictator. Very harsh and cruel. Name means iron something or other. Thought it fit the character.
(5) He met them when they chased after the Strike and got temporarily transferred to Earth (before the Aegis and Blitz came down). They were put under his command and Yzak was not exactly the most agreeable person.
Technical information garnered by: www. what you were expecting was it? At first, this chapter was going to be much like the series episode after Nicol was killed; but I decided no, definitely not. And this pulls together the setting much better then the alternative.
I know flashbacks and dream sequences are annoying, but that was the only way to fully express the emotions of the experience that I could think of while maintaining a storyline. Sorry.
Sorry all, but I've been informed, by ffnet admin, that review responses like I usually do are not allowed. However, I CAN PM any reviewers who are also ffnet members directly. :) So you still get your response, just a better one.
ALSO, this means that I can give bonuses to reviewers. So, if you review, you get a free preview summary of the next chapter! Starting this time.
XD
Thank you my reviewers:
r,
ZGMF X-19A Infinite Justice,
artgirl150, Nariko,
Yzak Lover Extrodinaire,
Jiang Mae,
zcatrix-bloodlord,
karone-sakura,
Warp Ligia Obscura,
Nevermore-Amaya,
lilharochick,
Orahiko