James frowned. "I don't understand. I thought tea leaves and crystal balls were as magical as it gets!"
Monica said, "Yes, it would seem the problem is that we didn't check his CV well enough. It's rather like hiring someone who did geology for a management position."
James balled his hand into a fist, then released it. "Oh? Well ... that's absurd, Monica! We can't be blamed for this foolishness. Mr. Goyle, did you not wonder what we were hiring you for?"
Greg shrugged. "I thought you needed general wizard stuff. You're trying to catch bad men, right? Magic's very useful for catching bad men."
"Is it?" said James, hoping this HR decision wouldn't turn out to be a total wash. "Do you have a spell for catching bad men?"
"Dunno. I'm sure they use magic though. Our lot use magic for everything."
Monica gave Greg a look that reminded him of Professor McGonagall. "Perhaps the best solution to this totally preventable problem is for you to do some research, young man. Have you access to any books on either divination or magic spells for catching criminals?"
Greg might be a bit thick sometimes, but he wasn't too thick to know he was thick. He hated reading, and he didn't see the point when he could just get the same information by talking. However, other people seemed to regard the practice as the answer to all life's problems, and it was usually best not to argue otherwise.
Greg put his thumb in his mouth. "Could do ... or I could ask some wizards who catch bad men."
Monica's eyes brightened. "Professional contacts, you mean! Ah, yes. That would do the job. Have you any professional contacts, Greg?"
That was how Greg ended up in Millie Bulstrode's Ministry of Magic cubicle at ten in the morning.
It was a cluttered cubicle, filled with pictures of mutilated bodies and handwritten notes. Memos kept floating into her cube in neat flocks, searching for a place to sit and wait for their turn with their recipient's attention. Millie was clearly a proper bad-man-catcher, Greg thought. Not only was she very bright, but there was no way the ministry was going to hire a Slytherin auror this soon after the war without good reason.
"What in the name of Merlin's belly button are you doing here?" she asked by way of greeting. "Can't you see I'm at work? How did you even get in here?"
"I'm here on business," said Greg.
She arched an eyebrow at him. "Well there's something I never thought I'd hear you say. What kind of business?"
Greg briefly explained his predicament. "So, you did divination, didn't you?" he asked hopefully.
Millie shook her head. "You think we catch dark wizards with that rubbish?"
Greg shrugged. "There must be some reason people learn it."
She smiled in mean amusement. "Mind, it might help to put on a show for the muggles, I suppose. But if you're trying to catch muggle criminals, this should be simple. Why don't you come with me, and I'll show you how to track down a 'bad man'".