Lucy:

I slept fitfully that night, the first in a long stretch of empty hours filled with the dark that I had remembered my dreams.

There I stood, Kanae's lifeless form bleeding at my fight. Kohta's pain etched face, howling in misery.

"Why? I thought you were my friend!" He yelled, his voice broken as I was broken. I wished I could convey to him the turmoil I felt inside, the pain and pure… loneliness that had made me sink to the depths of murder. I couldn't apologize, this was afterall his fault. He was a human.

The dream shifted.

Kohta and I at the zoo, one of the last days we had spent together in our innocence. Or I suppose in his innocence, for I had never been what one could call innocent. Not feeling alone… for the first time feeling like I could truly trust another. It was a feeling not worn upon me, and I seemed to radiate with the light it provided me internally.

That last night, before the festival.

"You're cousin… you said she's a girl right?"

"Y…yes." He had hesitated. I should have seen through his lie then… but like a fool… I did not.

That next day, finding Kohta and his cousin at the festival. The two of them laughing. The hurt and betrayal that threatened to destroy me. That night that I had finally lost myself.

Killed all of those people.

And Kanae had seen.

On the train. Seeing Kohta, and being filled with an anger unlike anything before. Wanting to kill him, but for some reason, not having the strength to release my vectors upon him. His sister trying to explain what had happened… Me killing her before he would ever be able to apologize.

When I had given my life for Kohta, as he had for I. Even when I was filled with unspeakable pain, I would like to think that I managed a smile. If only for him. Because, he really was my only reason not to lose myself sooner than what I had. He deserved better than the company of a Diclonius.

Better than the company of a… of a murderer.

I woke on the dirt ground, hidden by a patch of sharp grass. Tears were rolling down my face, which for myself seemed out of character. But I didn't even know who I was anymore. I wasn't Lucy, or so I hoped. I wanted to hold true to my promise. That I wouldn't kill any longer. For Kohta.

I found that I missed Kohta's company often, and liked the idea that I often drempt about him, even if it were untrue. For, this was the first time I could recall a dream in a very long time. And the first time it hadn't been about my conquering of the humans. Of my destiny.

I shook my head, No, I mustn't think like that. I could feel my vectors, twitching and churning within me, wanting to be released upon something. someone.

"NO!" I yell, my voice shrill and high, something new to me. Had my voice always been this way? Was this the voice my counterpart… the stupid part of myself… Nyuu had? I fought to remember, but I couldn't. My personality was no longer split apart. I was simply… me. The girl, the Diclonii that Kohta had met all those years ago.

The girl… that I would like to think that he at one time loved. Key word: lovED. Past tense.

But… Kohta would always be special to me. Even if I couldn't be apart of his life.

I knew I could never live with him again, for I had seen the pain in his eyes that last time we were together. Perhaps because I was lost to him. But wasn't I already? I had failed him. …. I had ruined everything he loved, and the only thing I could give to him in return… was for me to stay out of his life as much as possible. To let him think that I had died.

Which was what I likely deserved.

But even now, Kohta wasn't happy. Yuka didn't make him as happy as I once did, which as selfish as it was, brought a smile of satisfaction to my lips.

I would never be fond of Yuka, because in my mind… she was what had destroyed me all those years ago. Even if in truth, it was my own jealousy. I couldn't bear to feel the burden of this shame upon myself, so I placed it on her. As a result, every time I saw her, a white-hot flame of fury built up inside of me.

"Damn you, Yuka." I whisper, as I watch her attempt to embrace Kohta. Normally, he is compliant, but never giving much in return to her hormonal ways. But, this time, he fully embraced her.

I could hear her soft moans as his lips grazed her neck, and then her collarbone. I felt anger boiling inside of me, and I could hear someone inside of the house. Had they no shame?

I felt my vectors release, and I struggled to maintain control of the … pure… enragement I felt.

Then, to my surprise, Kohta completely pushed her away. I could see him saying something, and hear her yelling after him as he walked towards the trees. He ignored her. For a moment, she began to follow him, but then thinking better of it, she went back inside the house.

He looked up at the tree I was in for a moment, almost as if he could see me, and I froze. All of me wanted him to see me, acknowledge me, but he kept walking. I let out a sigh of relief, for if he had seen me… he would have to come to terms of all the horrors I had committed. To him, and to his kind as a whole. My entire existence was that of a horror story, told to young humans at night to keep them in check.

The thought amused me, my being something to be shared? Told as a story even? Impossible.

After a few steps, he completely stopped and slid down to the ground, leaning against a tree. The tree where my note I had left him lied. I watched as he found it, and read it once again. His lips moving silently, re-reading what had filled him with such sadness not many nights before.

Sadness, and anger. I recalled him punching the side of his house, and winced slightly. I shift my weight, and almost fall, my vectors gripping onto the branch.

I see a few leaves falling around Kohta as a result, and I bite my lip in hopes that he overlooks it. And overlook it he does, for his head went into his hands.

"Oh dammit, Lucy," I could hear him whisper, and I feel color drain from my face. Now he was calling me… Lucy? "I'm sorry!" He yelled, looking up, his face raw with emotion. I felt that I wasn't the only one he was apologizing to, and someone where deep within in, I hoped Kanae could hear and forgive him from wherever she was. "Why did you have to kill her?" He suddenly cried out, tears leaking down his left cheek.

I fought the urge to go to the ground, and comfort him. But what comfort would I be? I would only be a reminder, of the day that brought him pain even still.

"I forgive you, Lucy!" And with that, my breath was knocked out of me. I let out a low noise, in surprise more than anything, and then held my breath when he jumped to his feet. "L-lucy?" He whispered, his voice broken in a way that made me hurt inside. I made a decision, and dropped to the ground with a thud, my vectors breaking my fall.

His eyes widen, and his breath comes out in short gasps. I could see pain contort on his face, and I immediately regret my decision-making skills.

"I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't ha-" I begin, but he interrupts me with his lips upon mine. My mind races, my vectors releasing off of the ground, and causing me to fall into his arms. He maintains his balance, and my hands press against his chest. Something he possibly misinterprets. I could feel his tears staining my face, and his hands running down my back in a circular motion.

"NO!" I roar, pushing against him with all of my strength, without using my vectors. I hadn't come down here to kiss Kohta, whether he wanted to or not.

(And that's all for today. Im splitting this chapter in half because it's a longish one this time. Reviews/Comments?)