Chapter 3.

Her thoughts were disrupted by sirens screaming outside the hospital. Blake was so distracted by her thoughts, the abrupt noises from outside made her jump in her seat. She looked back at him, the sight scared her. Her body started to tremble at that one thought that refused to stop spiralling around her mind like a deathly whirlpool: 'maybe he was what was missing'. It continued to echo around her subconscious for what felt like hours.

As she began to gaze wearily around the brightly lit room she began to feel lost and confused. Maybe people were right 'you don't know what you had until it's gone'. Or maybe she was just over thinking things. Honestly, she had no idea and it worried her a bit. She decided she'd been sitting in silence for a bit too long, she told herself to either continue with her hopeless speech or to just get up and leave. After a short amount of deliberation, Blake lifted herself out of the uncomfortable metal chair and rose above his injured body. She looked at him, eyes beginning to water at the picture that lay before her. She slowly opened her mouth and spoke "Goodbye, Penn". She turned and rushed to the door, she wanted to be out of there as soon as possible, being there caused an aching in her that she knew she needed to get away from. But however desperately she wanted to get out of the room; she was stopped in her tracks. Every fragment of her being forced her to turn around and take one final look. One final goodbye. She slowly turned her body around and paused her movements as her eyes met his shut ones. One single tear drop fell. She caught it in her hand as she brushed it away, and with that she closed the door behind her.

Blake was slumped on the coach, staring at the floor. She felt numb, she had no idea what was happening to her but she knew she couldn't stay like this, so she got up and decided to call her husband. Blake picked up the phone from the kitchen counter and began to dial. "Blake! I'm so glad to hear from you, I've missed you."

Blake looked down as a small smile crept across her lips, "me too."

"So, how are you, how's everything?" Ryan asked inquisitively.

"Fine. Absolutely fine" Blake lied and changed the subject."'When are you coming home?"

"Tomorrow, I hope. As long as the planes aren't cancelled, there's a huge storm across the West Coast."

"Oh..." Blake was desperate to see him, oddly not because she was desperate to see him, but because she was desperate to eradicate the deep aching that had taken over her since she saw his broken body. She hoped her husband had the power to clear the pain.

The next day Blake woke in her warm bed, the white sheets wrapped around her body. She smiled and stretched out her arms. Today's a new day, she thought to herself. Although she was still worried about him, she felt like the huge weight that had landed upon her yesterday, had lifted. She was no longer searching for answers and worrying that she still felt something for him. She loved Ryan and she was happy and that was all that mattered to her, she smiled at thought as she clambered out of bed.

After having got herself ready for the day she swung her long body onto the cream couch in the living room, she grabbed at the remote which had lost itself between the dips in the sofa. She was about to hit the big red 'On' button at the top of the remote when she felt a vibration in her back pocket. She pulled out her phone and clicked at the screen so she could read the text. It was from Lynne. Blake quickly realised she'd forgotten to text her after getting back from the hospital and guilt quickly erupted inside of her.

'Hi Blake, just wanted to make sure everything was okay, since I'm guessing you just forgot to text me when you got back? Speak soon, Lynne'. Blake's fingers tapped away as she attempted to form an excuse as to why she didn't reply to Lynne's earlier text.

Within minutes she got a reply 'No worries, Blake. I'm glad you went to see him. I'm on my way over there now, let me know if you want to come and visit again, or we could just go out for a coffee?' Lynne was always so kind and Blake wondered how they ever lost touch...oh right, that's why.

'I'd love to meet for coffee. Tomorrow, 10:00?'

It was getting late and Blake wondered if Ryan would be returning today or not, so she picked up her phone and dialled again for the 3rd time that day. The other 3 times she'd rang it had gone to voicemail. The phone rang for a while and Blake was about to hang up when she heard a dreary voice on the other end. "Blake?"

"Hi! Oh I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

"Yeah..."

"I just wondered if you knew when you'd be back? You said you'd be back today..." Blake was a little upset he wasn't home yet; he'd been away for 4 days now and she was beginning to miss him.

"Yeah, well my plane was cancelled so I'm coming back...err...tomorrow night I think." Ryan yawned wearily; it was 2 am after all.

"Okay, well let me know if your plans change this time, won't you?" Ryan nodded, "Uh huh", which was quickly followed by a long beep on Blake's end. I guess he hung up then, she thought to herself, not even a goodbye or an 'I love you'. Sometimes Ryan really was clueless about her feelings, and that annoyed her more often than she'd like to admit.

The sun was shining and the autumn leaves were being scattered about by the gentle wind outside the coffee shop window. Blake looked at her watch, Lynne was late. She was never late. A waitress came over to Blake's table and asked her if she wanted anything. Blake simply shook her head and responded "I'm waiting for someone else to arrive."

The waitress simply nodded and danced off into the background. Blake resumed her watch on the beautiful autumn glow of the outdoors, but soon it was interrupted by the sight of Lynne briskly walking to the door of the shop.

"Blake! I'm sorry I'm late!" Blake quickly got up from her chair and wrapped her arms around Lynne. It had been so long since she'd seen her, and there was a nice feeling of familiarity in the air; something Blake really loved.

"Oh god, it's fine, Lynne!" Blake spoke. Lynne detached herself from Blake's embrace and looked at her. Blake smiled slyly and put on a quizzical look, unsure why Lynne had suddenly turned all serious.

"It's really...really great to see you, Blake". A huge beam formed across Blake's face and she signalled for Lynne to take a seat.

They both sat and talked for quite some time, it was nice to catch up and Blake had really missed Lynne's happy personality. They had always got on well, and Blake promised herself to make more of an effort to stay in touch from then on.

Lynne looked at Blake sincerely and said "Look, I know going to see Penn can't have been easy, but I'm very grateful you did, Blake. I don't know if he knows you were there, but it really, really does mean a lot to me. You were very special to him once, you know." Blake smiled softly and looked down, Lynne's words had broken her a little and the feeling of nostalgia started to creep back inside her, something she really hoped she'd got rid of.

"Well I'm glad I could've been there." Blake paused, unsure what else to say. "How's he doing?"

"Very much the same, stable." Lynne looked down at the table, and Blake knew this whole situation must be so hard for her; she was so close to her son.

An idea, albeit maybe a stupid one popped up in Blake's mind, and without any thought Blake uttered "Why don't I give you a break? I'll go down there this afternoon and keep him company." Lynne's face speedily jumped from staring at the wooden table and looked at Blake with beady eyes.

"You know what, that would be incredible, Blake. I mean, that is if you're okay with that?"

"Of course! You need some time out, Lynne. Try and relax this afternoon. I'll go over there now, shall I?" Blake had already began to pick up her things even though she wasn't really sure if this was the best idea, but she knew it was a selfless move and that was all that mattered at that moment. Lynne had done so much for her, not just while she was dating Penn but even when she was a kid. She owed her at least a break.

"No, nonsense." Lynne replied, "Why don't you come over after you've had your lunch?"

Blake arrived at the hospital for the second time and as she scanned the entrance, she saw the kind doctor who'd taken her to Penn's room a few days ago. Blake briskly walked up to her and asked to see him. The doctor led her to his room, exactly as she had done before.

But this time when they approached his door she spoke, "Lynne told me earlier today you'd be coming and she asked me to give you this." The doctor handed her a key card, presumably to get into Penn's room. "So you can come anytime you like and you don't have to get someone to swipe you in."

The doctor smiled at Blake and the blonde repeated the gesture and took the card from woman's hand. "Thanks".

Blake opened the door, and once again her heart broke at the sight in front of her beautiful blue eyes, she knew that would be her reaction every time she walked in, no matter how used to the situation she would get, she knew she'd break inside. She fell into the same chair again and whispered a soft "Hi..."

She wasn't sure what to say, the last time she was here she just completely broke down and started rambling about things that were hardly relevant, maybe this time she should try and be a little more 'upbeat' like the doctor told her. "Do you remember the time when I pulled that huge prank on you, pretending you were adopted?"

Blake chuckled to herself quietly at the memory. Some might have thought it was quite harsh, but she remembered Penn thought it was hilarious and they would always laugh about it together. She looked back up and Penn "You know what, who says we can't be friends after all this? I mean I think it'd be really great if we could try, besides, we had a lot of fun together, didn't we?" Somehow she felt as though she was waiting for a reply even though she knew she wasn't going to get one.

Blake was tired after her long day at the hospital and was glad to be back home; she snuggled up to a blanket on the couch and switched on the TV. She'd put one of her favourite movies into the drive, The Notebook, it was almost routine to watch when she was home alone. The film always had her grabbing for the tissues and it always reminded her what true love was supposed to be like, she'd always hoped for a love like Noah and Allie's. Blake's thoughts were interrupted by a ringing coming from the kitchen. She wrestled the blanket so she could get off the couch and raced to the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey, sweetie."

"Hey! I'm glad you called. I can't wait to see you tomorrow, I've had such a rough week..?" Blake glanced over the front door, and imagined seeing him there waiting with open arms. The thought caused a soft smile to creep across her face.

"Umm..yeah, I have some bad news...turns out there's a great soccer game on Friday night, and this guy Adam got me tickets, so...I'm gonna go. I'm sorry, babe but I'll be home in 3 days." Blake couldn't believe it, how could he be so rude and ignorant of her feelings. Here she was telling him how much she missed him and he just told her he'd be away for another 3 days, and neglected to ask her if she was okay with it. Her hopeful grin had faded into a sad sulk.

"Sure...whatever" She couldn't be bothered to argue or start a fight; she was tired and really didn't feel like talking to him since she was so mad.

"Look, babe, I'm sorry okay. But this is gonna be such a great match the Mets are playing again-"

Blake was getting more and more furious by the minute, "I don't care!" she shouted, and with that she pulled the phone away from her ear and hung up.

A/N: Although I haven't started Chapter 4 I know where I'm going with it and am going to start writing it today. If you're lucky, it'll be up tommorow. Please remember to tell me if you think it's becoming unrealistic. It's hard for me to be objective, so you guys are in charge of warning me! ;) I know, in an ideal world Blake wouldn't care Ryan was gone and wouldn't miss him and would realise she still loved Penn etc, but as I said I really want this to be realistic..hopefully it'll pay off.